Please note this was written at 4 a.m. so it might be especially random…
But first… my favorite picture of Brooke.
Sometimes I wonder why this blog has stuck for FIVE YEARS (3,134 posts) and why it gets the traffic it does. I make as many grammatical errors as a 4th grader, my pictures are usually poorly lit and from my iPhone. Most posts include so many random tangents that I get confused reading over them myself, I don’t know a thing about the technical side of it all and I eat the same 4 meals on rotation. I make a lot of mistakes and a lot of times the same ones over and over again and yet you guys still stick around (THANK YOU).
I then wonder why the hardest stuff (along with a lot of great things too and the greatest thing ever= Brooke) for me didn’t come until I had a lot of people watching me on the blog—> femoral stress fractures (those really hurt), overtraining and eating disorder side effects at the very beginning of my blog (osteopenia/ammenorhea and ps I haven’t had any relapses since then). My divorce from a person I was deeply in love with at the time and thought I was going to be with forever, loneliness that my chest still hurts when thinking about how hard those days/nights were (and still sometimes are) and the many ups and downs of post-divorce dating. The pain that comes along with your little baby/toddler/kiddo being away from you for the weekend or holidays. Dropping out of a million races due to injuries/sickness/mental exhaustion, my sister’s divorce and my mom’s health (heart surgery and now a stroke). Feeling so sick recently that I wore sweatpants way too many days in a row and some other things that I have dealt with privately while at the same time trying to keep a smile on my face.
And maybe a part of why I keep blogging (and why you stick around despite my lack of blogging skills) is because of the above reasons. I am an extremely open human (I am that awkward person that shares their life story within 20 minutes of meeting a person) and maybe I just really like connecting with others about all of the ups and downs in life. I have incredible blessings (my family—> I’m looking at you) and my life has NOT been any harder than yours (because EVERY human has trials and most have a lot bigger ones than mine) but maybe I love blogging about the good and the bad so that you and I can relate a bit over a computer screen. Whether it be emails back and forth with girls struggling with the loss of their period from running too much and eating too little. Or for people like a a non-runner that I bumped into the other day that told me she reads my blog just to see, as a newly single mom herself, that life can be beautiful as a single mom and that you can in fact make it through a messy divorce.
We might relate because you and I both know how a break-up wrenches our hearts. Our connection might come through the two of us understanding how hungry marathon training makes us and how ice cream sometimes just solves all of the major problems in the world. We might just ‘get’ each other because we both understand how much we miss running when we don’t get the chance to lace up our sneakers each morning. Maybe we connect because we are both trying our hardest to hit a goal that we have had for many many years. I know for a fact that a lot of us can all agree that the perfect day includes a long run, plenty of refueling and some Netflix watching from the couch. Our ‘reasons for running’ might be pretty darn identical and that helps us both to realize we aren’t crazy. I think you and I know the feeling of failure and the decision we have to make to either give up trying or to be resilient and come back from the set-back stronger than ever.
I hope that when you read this blog you feel a sense of community. I think humans crave some form of community or group and that is most definitely what feeling I get from you guys and why I love blogging. I think that is a part of why we all love running/races so much. It allows us to feel like a part of something bigger, and something that is really great for our health takes it to the next level.
I really want you to know that we are all in this together and when the going gets tough, you’ve got some random girl in Utah cheering for you. Maybe this is one of the reasons that I will blog for as long as I possibly can because I know that your comments/emails and support are always a huge source of strength for me in the good times and the bad. Goodness gracious, those amazingly sweet comments/emails during the first few months after filing for divorce are what got me through some really dark days and your comments over the last few weeks—> wow.
So although this blog might seem like a showcase of froyo and running shoes I hope you know that I really want it to be a place where we can all relate somehow. Whether it be over how amazing endorphins are, the joys of dessert, our addiction to races, the amazing feeling that comes after completing a tough track workout or how hard it is to keep going when you want to quit. We all have ups and when we have downs, we keep looking forward and have hope that there are a lot of really great things in store for all of us in the future. We just gotta keep pumping our arms when our legs get tired, count our blessings and take the hard things a mile at a time.
Here’s to another 5 years (well, I have no idea how long) of getting to know each other better, sharing the beautiful parts of life along with the hard stuff, growing, running and connecting.
And to celebrate five years of blogging I’m going to buy a pair of Brooks running shoes (whatever ones you want) to one lucky reader!
1. Leave a comment with whatever you would like to say.
2. If you want more entries then share the giveaway on twitter or Facebook or email your mom about it or Instagram and leave a separate comment telling me that you did!
Giveaway ends at the end of the week.
Thanks again for hanging out with me on the internet:)