A while ago, we talked for a second ago about making friends as an adult and it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.  Over the years, I’ve been trying to figure out what might actually be holding us back and better at doing this… Why are kids so good at this skill, but then it gets harder as adults?  I came across something this influencer talked about, and it was a ding ding ding moment—> Is it because, as adults, we worry we won’t measure up?

We aren’t fast enough, we don’t have the perfect family, our house is a disaster, we feel uncomfortable in our clothing, we laugh too loud (me), we don’t have any huge accomplishments that we feel others will think are noteworthy, we are behind on our bills, we are sad too often, etc etc etc.  Kids aren’t thinking about these things; they just go up to people and make friends with them regardless of any of the things that might hold them back.

I am never thinking about any of these things in terms of my friends and their lives, so why would I worry about friends thinking these things about mine?  I really think we are all just searching for community.  We are all craving to feel connected to other people.  We just want to feel like we are part of something (one of the many reasons I think we all love running and races, etc).  Don’t let these expectations you hold about yourself keep you from going up to someone and talking to them, hosting a book club, or asking people to go on a run with you. 

I could care less about what paces my friends run, what they are wearing, how educated they are, how many square feet their house is… I just want to connect with someone over the miles, learn about their challenges and strengths, feel less alone, and be there for them if they need someone to cry with.  Each week, I start multiple group threads inviting anyone I can think of to come to different runs… Sometimes, one person shows up, and sometimes, everyone shows up.  I love group runs with all of my heart, and missing out on those things because I’m worried I won’t measure up to other people would be so hard.

Whether you are looking for running friends, mom friends to go to the park with, or a friend to spend evenings with going to the movies… Don’t let these worries hold you back!  That person you see at school pickup or the person you see at the grocery store often with similar-aged children or the person you see at the book store loving your favorite author too or the runner that is on the other side of the road from you… They want community just as bad as you do and will be on cloud 9 if you invite them to do something with you!