We Belong–> Chatting about My Pep Talk to Myself

Skye was not thrilled about the snow yesterday.

The day started off with cereal in bed with my recovery boots and some reading….

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Skye stood by the window watching the snow fall for a very long time.

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We got ready and went to church.

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And then came home and got to work on dinner making my mom’s lasagna!

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Skye is a huge fan of my mom’s recipe and garlic bread… it’s all in our genes.

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And then I brought out some ice cream with the perfect cookie dough to ice cream ratio.

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Brooke came home from a great weekend!

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Andrew was putting together some stuff for his shift today and Skye made sure to pack up his work bag with 50 packs of fruit snacks.

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I’m excited for December 8th.  Really excited.

I close my eyes and picture me, Emilee and our other 2 teammates crossing the finish line and seeing 2:44 on the clock above us probably too many times each day.  I am willing to work harder than I ever have during our marathon in December and I know we can do really hard things.  I really believe in it happening.

But.  I’m also human.

The other day I was on Instagram (while on my period so my hormones were just not in a good place ha) and found a bunch of other girls that are also going for sub 2:45 for the OTQ at the same race and my brain got to me:

“They have six- (maybe even eight or ten) pack abs of steal… You can’t actually see any lines on my entire stomach even when I am flexing them.

They ran for different college teams… I definitely did not.

Maybe St. George was just a fluke because they are much more talented than I am.

They have previous PRs that are closer to that sub 2:45 time than I do…”

My brain was going on and on with thoughts like the above ones I am sharing and I finally yelled (in my head) at myself…

STOP. RIGHT. NOW.

We belong.  Every single one of us belongs.

We all have different strengths and weaknesses but whatever the goal is that you are dreaming about, you belong and deserve to dream the way you dream.

Even people like Kara Goucher have had to remind themselves in races that THEY BELONG (from her Strong Journal).

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It’s human nature to feel out of place at times and to come up with every reason on the planet that we don’t belong but we have to learn to stop those thoughts and talk to ourselves like we would to our best friends.  If one of my teammates came to me and told me the same thoughts I was experiencing on Instagram the other day, I would grab them by their shoulders, look them in the eyes and give them a million reasons why THEY BELONG.  We have to do the same to ourselves.

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I am channeling EVERY SINGLE OUNCE of me into working with the incredible women at the race and being inspired by them to get our dreams rather than feeling like I don’t belong with them.

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If you are ever at the starting line of a race and you feel like you don’t belong, you are not alone with that.  We have all felt it at different times and so it’s time to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend!

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Ever felt like you didn’t belong when it comes to running… what did you do to overcome that feeling?

What is your favorite meal that you grew up with one of your parents or family members making often?

Who else got some snow?

What’s your week of running looking like… a recovery week?  Build-up week?  Speed? Higher or lower mileage than normal?

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34 comments

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I love your spirit more and more all the time. Keep dreaming and pushing, and please keep scooping up all this joy in life. You are benefiting more people than I bet you relaize. Big hugs from Oklahoma!!

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Thank you Marie and I sure will! Thank you for your sweet comment and the hugs, have the best day Marie!

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I feel this way too! One of my fb friend ran D1 in college and I feel like she must think I’m a poser when I post about running.

And even in my best shape I have never had stomach definition either I think it’s more a body type thing than evidence of any shape you are in! I am excited to see what you do!

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Oh totally! I get you but WE ALL BELONG no matter what! I am going to have to agree with you… I’m not sure it would actually ever be possible for me to have a 6 pack haha. Have the best day Sara!

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Love this! Perfect reminder!!

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Have the most beautiful day Amy!

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Yes!! Thank you for this reminder!! I tell my friends this when they call themselves “runners” and I say anyone who runs is a runner, no matter the pace. Need to remind myself of this sometimes too.

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YES YES YES!! So so so true. We all belong, no matter what. Have a fabulous week Mariah!

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I could not love this more. Especially right now.

(she says as she has tears streaming down her face)

You belong. We all do. Yes. THank you.

<3 <3 <3

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Wish I could give you a big hug right now Stephanie! You’ve got this and please keep me updated with how you are doing!!

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Thank you so so much for this! I really needed to read that this morning :) I have some big decisions to make right now, and I’ve been feeling really afraid to dream big. But you’re right – I deserve to! And why not set huge goals for myself?! I need to believe and have faith that anything is possible – which I do, it’s just so easy to let fear and the super-logical part of my brain get in the way. Sometimes I try to visualize my “dream life scenario” and I feel like an imposter there; like it could never really be me. Thank you for reminding me that I DO belong there.
Good luck this week! Each day is one step closer to CIM glory :)

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Oh, yes. You absolutely belong! You definitely are not done with PRs yet, either. Just keep your own reality in your mind’s eye–the one of you with Emilee and your other teammates hitting your goals–and other people’s reality on their IG feeds :)
So, I missed a couple of posts over the weekend: THAT PUPPY!! Oh, so cute!
And I am so sorry your weather has gotten so cold already :( I’m not prepared for cold yet.

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I needed this today! I often feel like I don’t belong. Whether it’s running, other moms, my in laws…I could go on! I have 5 little ones, (and would honestly love to have another) and that’s not common around here these days so I get stares and comments for just that. I’m not a fast runner…at least not yet so it’s hard to feel like I belong when starting a race. Then there are my in-laws whom are just very different than me and grew up with different beliefs. I am learning to get comfortable with just being me and not worrying about whether I belong. Your words have been helpful! Thank you!

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I love all of this! YOU belong, I belong, we all belong! That’s why i like trails so much …. I belong with the slow crowd rather than the fast road crowd! Ha! I’m glad I’m not reading this last week at work … I would be a blubbering hot mess right now! Lol! Wink wink
I didn’t really have a favorite (homemade) meal growing up but my favorite meals now are homemade mac and cheese and homemade street tacos. I could probably eat them every day and not get sick of them. I make the mac & cheese about 2x/month because me and my boys love it so much but don’t want to get burned out. My husband makes the tacos about 2-3x/month. 4 if I’m lucky!
No snow but we were in the low 30’s this morning. I had 2 layers of wool on top, gloves, tall wool socks (team shorts here) and a frozen face and quads.
Running this week is about being grateful for each run. I’m coming back from another ankle roll so I’m taking it really easy.
Have a great day!!

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Ugh Belonging. My daughter is in 4th grade and we have reached the “clicks and cool girl” period. And it’s so important for her to remember that’s she’s just as pretty, funny, smart as everyone else.

I’m race prepping this week- to spectate at the NYC Marathon. My husband is running it- his first! So all week is carbs for him and hydration! And deal with his first bout at taper crazies!

My favorite childhood recipe was corn flake covered baked chicken- which is not one my high rotation meals!

I think you’re going to do amazing. Keep Up visualization! I think it really helps. All of you can cross together crazy ab girls and all. And maybe you guys will even push each other to be even faster

Happy Monday

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Seeing you dream big and work hard is inspiring me too! :) I’ve started using your mantra: I can do hard things! 🙌🏼
My mom always made amazing cabbage rolls and also sweet potato curry😋
Last recovery week for some hamstring healing before I start marathon training!! So excited!!

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Isn’t it just such a great mantra? It really helps us remember how incredibly tough we are! And now I need some sweet potato curry.. that sounds so good. Happy recovery week and I hope your hamstring is 100% ASAP. Keep me posted with your marathon training PLEASE!

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Such a great post. I am in a taper for my 4th marathon in two weeks. I have crazy goals of running a 3:45 and I need to keep telling myself I belong. I have trained hard and I am ready to hit my goal. Thanks for being such a positive person. That’s what I love about your blog.

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YOU 100% BELONG and you WILL run that 3:45 and I better get to hear all about it. I can’t wait for you to get to go out on the race course and celebrate all of your hard work. Thank you Collette, that means a lot. Have a wonderful day!

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No snow yet but it is coming tonight! And again on Wednesday. This is very early for us and arrives after cooler-than-normal temps. We Trick-or-Treat the day before Halloween and it might be a lot messy and a lot cold. Nothing like winter coats under costumes to make the holiday special.

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I can TOTALLY relate! I think we’re all guilty of “sizing up the competition.” I did an ultra this past Spring and chatted a lady up before the start. She went on and on about how many ultras she’d done (way more than me), her marathon PR (way faster than mine), and just overall how awesome she was. I kept quiet and just let her brag. She looked fit, and told me her goal was to win, and to do 15 laps (it was a timed course on a 2.5 mile out-and-back.). Well, she didn’t win. I did… and, I did it in 16 laps.
Your race is your own. Sure, other runners will look stronger, have faster PRs, or (like this lady) talk a big game, but that doesn’t deter from you running your own race. I am so excited to see what you do at CIM!

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Can I just say that I Love your post!? Lol. Just keeping quiet, running your own race and being humble. Wins every time! :-)

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😊

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It blows my mind that someone with your talent would feel this way! However, I’m so grateful for you sharing this!

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This hurts my heart… never ever compare yourself to anyone and just know that YOU provide inspiration for countless of your blog readers. I have been following you for so long and I can personally say you inspire me… it inspires me to keep going when I read of your tough runs.. it inspires me not to beat myself up when I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew signing up for my first half marathon in april when I read that you have doubts too.. continue being true to yourself.. true to your readers and know that your “real” words keep a lot of people that wish they were like you to continue going.

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I’m so thankful you talk about things like this!! I just think it’s so important to remember that even in a race, it’s not YOU vs HER, it’s YOU vs YOU! Discard the lie that you’re working against others and you’ll be able to fully live into your unique ability! I support you!

Like Alexi Pappas says: be a bravey, replace can’t with maybe. ❤️❤️

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My whole life I felt like I didn’t belong – but somehow as I got older I cared less. And I realized the more myself I was, the more I drew people to me who were the quality of people I wanted to attract. In some ways, running and even ultra running can be super cliquey – I have know someone who would look down on other people because they didn’t run as fast. And I thought what a terrible attitude – because just because you might have better running abilities than someone else, it doesn’t make you a better human being.

Some part of me knows that I still have time to drop in the marathon – and that if I put my mind to it, I could achieve it. A little part of me is going what if, maybe I could achieve it.. I realize all I can do is set goals that are realistic for me – but also that I need set stretch goals in running because if I don’t I will never know how far, how fast I can go.

Also snow! We have some in the mountains, but still waiting for some to more to fall :)

I love that Skye put 50 fruit snacks in Andrew’s back. Would be funny if no one saw it and Andrew got to work and found 50 fruit snacks.. (I once 50 selfies on my phone that my toddler nice took when I gave her my phone. i found it much later ….)

As for your race, I think you will be amazing no matter that outcome. It’s funny how even at the elite level people have doubts.

Happy training and have a great day!

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Just to be clear, I think this has nothing to do with whether you can go sub 2:45 or not, but I’ve always been curious to know – why didn’t you run at BYU on the track or CC team? You def have the talent. Did you run track / CC in high school? Were you just not into running back then?

Good luck in CIM – you will crush it!

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So obviously I’m focusing on the most important part of this post…what brand is this ice cream that has the perfect ratio of cookie dough?! I feel like everything I buy is lacking I feel like everything I buy is lacking haha!!

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Thank you, I read your blog every day and love it. I have my 2nd Half Marathon this coming Sunday, with soaring temperatures (in New Zealand) forecast for race day, it will probably be the hottest challenge for me to date! This is intimidating for my big goal, but my mind is saying go get it! Thank you for sharing and inspiring people everyday x

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I have a race on Sunday. I’m going for sub-2:00 half marathon for the first time. Training has gone really well and today I’m so not into doing it. I was originally going to run it with a friend, but she bailed on me. I’ve done 95% of my training solo and I’m just feeling really glum about the whole thing.

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I’m with you on the imposter’s syndrome. I don’t have a history of competitive running in college, (I actually started 5 years ago). But, I know that if I work hard and tell myself I belong it will at the very least be a feeling I will own. I know you belong and I am so excited and hopeful you and I will both be staring at that clock with a 2:4xx (under 5) at CIM. I wrote my hopeful time down on my fridge and I stare at it every day. You’ve got this Janae! I do too :)

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Oh I love the Sky packing Andrews bag picture lol! I honestly find the oddest things in my purse or shoes from my one and a half year old packing and playing with my things. I had a toy screwdriver in there the other day lol. They are so helpful :)
Great post. I too compare and get in that “They are out of my league, they are better than me” mindset!

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Hi Janae! I can totally identify with your feelings! Before a local 4 miler one year, I was standing at the start playing the comparison game. All the doubt crept in as I was looking at these fit, leggy women in teeny shorts and crops. But then I heard one woman say ‘I hope I can finish…I’ve never run more than 3 miles’.
That brought me back to the reality of not judging a book by its cover…or myself!

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