I actually did some weights (arms) this morning for longer than my usual 2 minutes (a full 5 minutes instead:) because staring at this little face made me forget I was doing weights. She is the best distraction ever…. she helps me forget to clean, cook, leave the house and I really like it.
On the sad news front in my life right now, I ran out of my favorite conditioner that my sister gave me for my birthday. Back to .99 cent conditioner from Wallmart… I guess it doesn’t really matter since I have gone down to washing my hair once a week;) Now I am just left with lonely shampoo.
Lunch was a return of an old favorite. A grilled pear and cheese sandwich. It sounds weird but it is crazy good. Followed up by my frosted mini wheats. I have eaten this cereal everyday since we moved in, talk about accomplishments. From here on out I will refer to them as FMW, we are on a shortened name basis now.
I finally got an email from Runners World for an article that wasn’t about losing weight and how to be leaner but that actually focused in on the other side of things that I think a lot of runners and women struggle with. An obsession with eating perfectly.
A reason that I really wanted to stay in good shape (besides the fact that I love running, it keeps me sane and want to return to racing soon) while I was pregnant was so that post baby I didn’t even think about restricting calories to ‘lose the baby weight.’ First, I really want to continue breast feeding as long as possible and that requires a lot of calories to keep my supply and second, I REALLY love food and third, I know from the past that I can easily become obsessive with calories and eating perfect if I let myself. I once went over a year without coming near sugar and making sure that everything I ate was perfect (I even stopped eating cereal?!?!)…. I prefer how I am now where I eat dessert every day, enjoy the same foods Billy does and don’t think about calories. My obsession with avoiding treats and eating perfect led to injuries and a loss of my period, not fun at all. Mentally and physically what I eat now is much better for me personally (everyone is different, so don’t forget that:)
The problem with Orthorexia is that it can start out as just wanting to be healthy and fueling yourself properly but it can (key word can) turn into an obsession, take over someone’s thoughts and even ruin relationships.
Like any addiction, Orthorexia/eating disorders etc can take over your life. You may care more about your addiction than the people in your life, your job and your health. If you are struggling with obsessing over eating perfectly please seek help. Life is a heck of a lot better when you don’t worry about every little thing you eat:)
I think that it is obviously REALLY important to eat foods that are good for you and healthy but when does it become too much? Where is the line between trying to be healthy to fuel your body and running and becoming obsessive and not letting yourself ever eat non-perfect foods?
Have you ever struggled with Orthorexia? Any friends or family that struggled with this problem?
What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?
Do you have weights at home or do you mainly use weights at a gym?
I tried to be an orthorexic but froyo and ice cream spoiled my plans.
I can’t imagine life without those things…
Don’t be mad by this but I feel like joking about orthorexia is like joking and saying I tried to be anorexic but I couldn’t stop eating. It’s not really something you joke about. You don’t try to have a disease. Orthorexia can be just as dangerous as any other eating disorder since it can lead to malnutrition & starvation. Please don’t joke about it :)
You are 100% right! Thank you Laura and I apologize!
Laura, I’m sorry if I came across as glib and insensitive. It was definitely not my intention and I probably should have thought that through before posting a snarkier remark. That said, I understand the “disease” factor as I’ve spent some time with a different -exia of my own. Let’s just say it’s taken a lot of time, counseling and retraining myself to understand that 5’6″ and 91 pounds is just not healthy. I am in a different place and can be pretty silly about my own issues now that I’m kind of on the “other side” though don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still struggle…
It’s ok. I forgive you. I struggled with anorexia for 12 years and today am ‘recovered’ but it’s still a daily battle to overcome and do what’s right. I know people that live with orthorexia tho which is why that comment rubbed me the wrong way. I really hope I didn’t come off as mean. Also Sheila I’m extremely proud of you & all the work you put into recovery to be in the place you are right now. :)
Katie @ Peace Love & Oats
I definitely was at some level an orthorexic last year. I still consumed “bad” foods, but very rarely. I was so obsessed with my eating habits that, as the article states, I would hate going to eat with other people and avoid it completely. I wanted to know exactly what was in my food so I could count the calories. Life is SO MUCH BETTER now and I’m actually happy that I’ve dropped those obsessive habits! I knew you’d had some eating disorder problems in the past but I only started reading your blog a year ago so I didn’t really realize it until you shared a link to the post where you ran a marathon on the treadmill. All I could think was how much healthier and happier you look now! Lol this is turning into a super long comment, but I also wanted to add kudos to you for reaching out to Runners World, I hope they don’t focus so much on losing weight anymore, it’s getting on my nerves!
Thanks so much for your comment Katie, I really appreciate you! I agree with you on the RW thing… too much focus on losing weight. I am so happy that you are in such a happy place in terms of eating and food. You are amazing.
I’ve tried to stop dieting and just eat inlietivuty. In just a few weeks I’ve gained weight and feel terrible. I’ve unfortunately gone back to dieting to lose the weight I’ve gained AND I still had at least 15 lbs before that I wanted to lose. I’m depressed. I felt great emotionally not dieting, but I cant cant cant handle gaining weight. I really thought i was doing all the right things. I wish I wasnt so hung up on the scale.
Shauna @ Balancing Bites
I think the line is where it becomes an obsession, causing anxiety and depression. I’ve had several friends with this type of eating disorder. It is sad. I had one friend that lost a lot of weight, her period, and huge clumps of hair. What she thought was the perfect healthy way to eat ended up not being so healthy. She was deficient in several nutrients.
I totally agree with you about the anxiety and depression! That is a huge sign it has gone way too far. How is your friend doing now?
I used to have anorexia- and as I recovered I went through a period of orthorexia- where I though my diet had to be perfect to recover- so not true! I lost my period for over 4 years until I finally brought back all the delicious foods I had deprived myself of- and now I’m at a much healthier weight for me- and enjoy eating as much candy as possible haha.
I use nexus shampoo/conditioner- It’s expensive though so sometimes I switch back to pantene.
I have a set of weights at home- that I never use ha.. and I don’t really lift at the gym either- I find it sooo boring and can’t make myself stick with it. I don’t know how you get anything done with that bundle of cuteness around :)
And +1 on the mini wheats- I LOVE when I get to the bottom of the box and get all those yummy sugar crumbs.
Morgan, I am so beyond happy that you are doing so much better now and enjoying candy too:) Yep, the end of the bag of cereal is quite possibly the best thing in the world.
You’re weights look HUGE next to Brooke! Please tell me that is some sort of optical illusion!
Yellow Haired Girl
Bahahaha. I thought the same thing!
Dani @ RunFitMama
I love that you called them FMWs! During both of my pregnancies I was addicted to frosted mini wheats and my husband would call them FMWs.
Dove shampoo and conditioner is the BEST. You can get it in bulk at Costco too so it will last forever!
Orthorexia – I’m sure I have small periods of time. I’ve gone without sugar for a year and now I eat Paleo/Primal – but Monday when I went out to Brunch with my son I had pancakes. I know that people at work think I am a health nut, but so far I don’t think it’s doing any harm. It’s kinda like being a vegetarian only the opposite. I don’t eat breads, grains, beans or sugar. I eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies – and I can usually find something on a menu or at a dinner that I can eat. My poor family has me – that follows the paleo lifestyle, my brother and his family are vegetarians and my brother that is allergic to everything with CORN in it – including corn syrup. It’s pretty easy though and we manage. Salad meat is served on the side, etc.
Weights – at the gym or use my body as the weight – push ups/pull ups – TRX class.
Hey- washing your hair once a week is GOOD for your hair!
I agree with using Dove shampoo and conditioner. A HUGE bottle is only $12 at Costco!
You’ve got to watch Ulta for their liter sales and coupons. You can get that EXACT shampoo/conditioner for a ridiculously low price. I got Matrix Biolage liters for $12 each and TIGI BedHead liters for $10.
The liters normally me around 6 months!!! I stocked up a few months ago and I’m good until next year. :)
Beth @ Running with the Sunrise
I think I’ve been on the borderline before with watching what I eat. I’ve been on kicks before where I shy away from eating out because I don’t know everything that’s in the restaurant’s food, etc. It’s no fun to be constantly worrying about what you eat. I think recognizing dangerous thinking/behaviors early is key in making sure you don’t get into dangerous territory. I’m glad you have a healthier relationship with food now!
As an undergraduate, I experienced something like orthorexia. I guess since I was on my own, I could skip meals or eat fewer calories and not feel embarrassed if anyone caught on. I was really obsessive about my eating habits and would avoid going out to dinner with friends. It was so frustrating because 1. i felt hungry all the time 2. the less i ate the bigger i felt.
I also lost my period about 8 years ago. I used to think it was actually a little blessing but since reading about your situations (and others who comment on your blog), I think it’s important to get that issue taken care off.
Now, I try to eat healthy. I don’t restrict my diet at all. I eat what I want (in moderation) and multiplier times a day. I’m running and lifting weights and eating healthy and all that makes me feel great. I even think I look better (fitter, smaller) than I did when I was starving myself.
I use aussie shampoo and conditioner. Its cheap and it leaves my hair super soft. I alternate with Dove.
PS. Brooke is adorable :)
No Orthorexia here, just a healthy food lover.
For Shampoo and conditioner I either use Joyco K-Pak or Pureology .
I have weights at home
..forgot to tell you, baby looks just like daddy :-)
Katie | wholelivingimprint.tumblr.com
Great post Janae! I think this is a very important topic and I know we all find ourselves or at least I have a few times, struggling with this type of behavior. Sometimes, I think we want to control what we eat because it is one of the only things in our lives that we can control. When you do get in that mindset, you have to step back and breath and get back to living a healthy life not depriving yourself of proper nutrition!
Brooke looks so tiny next to the weights omg, so cute!!
I used to be WAY obsessed with my eating and it was miserable…I restricted myself from any treats and i’d be terrified of going out to eat most of the time bc I didnt know the exact calorie count of what I was eating..yikes!
I’m all about eating healthy food but you need to have a balance…im not perfect, i dont expect my eating habits to be 100% perfect either. I like having treats and just trying to do the best that I can. you only live once, why not enjoy yourself?
I’m currently using bedhead colorsafe shampoo/conditioner. it smells AMAZZZINGG!
i mostly use weights at the gym but sometimes i’ve used them at home :)
I became really obsessive with what I ate going into college b/c I was so afraid of gaining the “freshmen 15.” I hardly ate any sugar and began shriveling away…now I eat what I want and am happier than I have ever been! Looking back at old pictures I did not look like myself and, while I do try to eat healthy, I know that life is too short to be anything but happy and if that means eating candy and cupcakes I am all for it!!!!! p.s. Brooke is the cutust!
I struggled with trying to eat perfect like this during XC season in college jr year. I really had no weight to lose but wanted to see how ‘ healthy’ I could eat. I ate enough for a normal college girl, just not a girl running 70 mpw. I started to faint in class one day after four weeks of this and realized I needed to relax. I still occasionally feel anxiety about going to a restaurant with unhealthy food, but every time I’m able to relax and order normal food. The interesting thing was it had nothing to do with low self esteem or body image, but I wanted to make sure I was doing everything to get faster! I was super type A in college and every year I make a resolution to relax more and I have been improving lots!
Brooke is the cutest!
My kids all love Frosted Mini Wheats, but they call them hay bales (take a look- see the similarities?)
I finally broke down and got some weights at home! It is so nice to do strength training workouts in my living room. Now if I could just buy myself a spin bike and a treadmill I would never have to leave my house :-)
I had never heard of orthorexia before but thank you for shedding light on this topic! I think a lot of women struggle with this issue.
Girl, your baby is ADORABLE!!!!
You know of course that I was anorexic for years & then struggled with binge & emotional eating…so yes, I was obsessed with food, my weight, etc. to say the least. It was HORRIBLE. Anyone reading this, you can recover<–if I could, anyone can.
Now I eat what I want, when I want. Some days I eat 95% 'perfect' other days it's like 70%. But life is all about ebbs & flows, so worrying so much about what we eat ALL the time is exhausting, boring, and seriously problematic. I mean, who can live life without fro yo?!?!
P.s. USE baby powder in your hair–it makes it look less greasy. JUST found this trick, and I hardly ever wash my hair anymore….hahahah. (Plus it looks better because it stays in place!) SCORE.
AMEN, sister! you are 100% right!!
annnnd ditto to the baby powder. i’ve been using it for years (before i even knew what dry shampoo is) and really, it does the exact same thing. i even like it better than dry shampoo- i feel like it works a lot better, as long as you really rub it in good, so you don’t have white powder in your hair! ha! that’s not a good luck! ;)
I don’t have weights at home. So, when I want to lift; it’s a gym day. I try to be healthy about 90% of the time, but if I want a treat I have it. Usually, I try to choose treats that are on the healthy side….like froyo with fruit & nuts, rather than cookies or candy.
Chelsea @ GlitterAndSweat
I try not to get that OCD about my eating, because it really does start to make everything stressful!! I do have times when I am very strict about what I eat, but that’s only when I’ve ate pretty crappy for a couple weeks and sometimes months, and I just need to cleanse all the crap out.
I actually haven’t found a shampoo/conditioner that I like yet lol figures I’m going to school for hair and don’t use a shampoo/ conditioner that I like
I have a set of 5lb weights and a set of 8lb weights :)
Kari @ Running Ricig
Is it bad that I think a lot of HLBs have issues with orthorexia? I can’t say that I’ve had problems with it because I’m more of a binge on sweets type but I can totally understand it.
I wouldn’t say I have Orthorexia but I am diagnosed with anorexia and my life isn’t what it could be because of this illness. I too urge anyone to get help and not to fall to the demands of any eating disorder because it really is a miserable existence and hurts everyone you love & care about the most.
Thanks for sharing this and talking about you past experiences with diet and over exercise. You are an inspiration to me lady :) You really are!
For me, my obsession over what i ate started out of a fear of gaining the dreaded “freshman 15” when I started college, and from there just spiraled out of control. I definetely have become less obsessive about what I eat…the fact that there is ranch dressing in my fridge is proof!!
Holy freak. I had never heard of this before. Mmm hmmm. Thanks for doing this post for me, Janae.
I was TOTALLY that way until I got sick from RAW MILK in June. I’m talking Guillain-Barrre Syndrome sick. I was SOOOOOO mad. I was being SO strict with my diet, and here it turned on me and almost made me worse that anything I had ever imagined? (look up the syndrome… you’ll see what I mean). I’ve had to start over completely with my running… it zapped all my strength. Before I got sick I was training for a 1/2 marathon. Yesterday I was cheering because I made it 3 1/2 miles without stopping, and I even included a HILL.
Life is precious. Balance is good. Thanks for bringing awareness to this problem.
Chelsie @ Balance, Not Scale
Orthorexia is a legitimate eating disorder, a fact which many don’t realize. I have a history of extreme eating disorders. Anorexia, bulimia, purging-type anorexia, over-exercising — amenorrhea, female athlete triad, hospitalization, relapses. You name it, that was me. I was finally cleared to start working out in February, and jumped on the LiveFit bandwagon. Even though I was considered to be in recovery, and even in strong recovery (because I was able to eat the 3050 cal/day I needed to maintain my weight an activity leve) , I fell into the orthorexic lifestyle. My days were spent calculating calories and macros. I became OBSESSED with clean eating 100% of the time. No cheating allowed. My diet had to be perfect or else how could I expect my body to be perfect? I didn’t realize that my eating disorder was back, just under a brand new form.
It was when I realized that I had started labelling apples and berries as “bad” foods (clean, but too many carbs, according to the meal plan I was following) that I realized there was something wrong. Then I found health & fitness blogs like yours and so many others that talk about balance — not necessarily clean eating, but healthy eating, with snacking and treating yourself (and not labelling it negatively as a “cheat”). I’ve spent the last few months slowly reclaiming my brain. Yes, I still have anxiety about carbs and foods with (gasp!) more than five ingredients. But they won’t kill me – heck, they’ll actually do better for me mentally and physically than restricting myself from them.
Running has helped me change so many of these things. I knew that I would need more carbs and more fat. It’s been trial-and-error, but I’m trying more and making fewer errors every day. I couldn’t be more proud of myself.
Sorry for the novel of a comment!! (Major blogging faux pas, I apologize!) But I wanted to let you know that I’m really, reallly excited that you’re getting the word out there about orthorexia. Thank you!! I think you’ll do the topic justice, that you will go above and beyond the call of duty. I am DEFINITELY going to be reading your article once it’s published. And if you need any comments or sound bites on it, I’d love to lend whatever help I can. :)
I have overcome many things in my life.. and I am in such a wonderful place in general.. I feel so so blessed!! But food still haunts me.. I just think about it way too much.. what to eat, how much, I pre plan, I feel like any “treat” is “bad” .. it’s exhausting.. I hope it ends soon.. but it’s hard to do it alone.. and my friends just give me the ole “Oh stop, your tiny.” they don’t understand it’s not just a physical thing.. in fact it’s 95% mental.. anywho.. thanks for the post (and all the comments ladies) it’s nice to not feel so alone.. and to hear of so many of you who have been where I am.. and are no longer there!!!
I work out at home with weights, my elliptical and most recently finished a 21 day yoga challenge. I injured my foot/ankle running and training for the “Tough Mudder” and needed to take a running break. I’m new to running, so this injury and set back was a big deal. I love running and the thought of taking a break was devastating. Until I met yoga…. :) It really helped stretch me out, and was a great stress reliever. Also doing it daily is great, because I think being consistent is key. I started running again, but now I do it the right way, and with yoga in between I feel great. No issues with eating. Except I fell off my diet wagon recently and this blog is a great motivator to get back on it.
The grilled cheese and pear combo sounds awesome! I must try :)
THANK YOU for this post!! I do think it is easy to fall into this…thank goodness I don’t!!! If I want a Big Mac then by golly I will get one :) I think you have a great balance. I think it’s okay to have treats etc as long as for the most part you are eating healthy foods. Everything in moderation!!! Yes, even cookie dough or cheeseburgers :) I also LOVE that Brooke is smaller than the weights you were using :D
I just read this same article! While I try to eat as healthy as I can, I also eat dessert and candy and I drink beer and I will still eat my fav junk foods, life is just too short not to eat the things you enjoy!
Oh and shampoo wise, I have very long hair that I dye and it’s pretty dried out. I have tried salon brands and store brands an I love Sauve, and Treseme, which you can buy for around 3.25 at Walmart.
Danica @ It's Progression
I’ll be honest–finding that balance of eating the best foods I can for my body without being obsessive can be really really hard somedays. What’s recently helped me a lot though is thinking of food as FUEL and also to know that I’m at a point where desserts and occasionally treats really truly isn’t going to affect my athletic abilities or my weight. It seems like it all comes down to perspective.
I struggled with anorexia 10 years ago. Janae, what are the key differences here?
Dani @ Run Daniella Run
I myself have never experienced it, but I can see how easily it would be to drift over that line. I get obsessive from time to time especially when I am doing any sort of a challenge. Right now I am doing a challenge and think I need to be super strict but I realized that challenge isn’t losing a big number of weight its getting healthy and feeling good. I was beating myself up for having some ice cream…seriously? I had to give myself a reality check. I need to live a normal life with a normal relationship with food, especially since I have 2 daughters. I am glad you shared this :)
I must have had this to some degree, because now that I eat all things I find myself saying “wow, I would have never eaten this before.” Probably a sign.
I think the line between healthy/obsessive is when you think of it constantly, bring your own food places (especially when going out to eat), always talk about food (not in a ‘foodie’ way either) and judge the way other people eat (not healthy foods). Food is meant to be enjoyed not stressed over. I have struggled with anorexia in the past and to some extent probably struggle w/some form of orthorexia to this day. HOWEVER, it no longers controls my life or my thoughts. As my dad said to me “from not even to being able to walk 1/2 a block because you were so weak to running marathons is astonishing.” For me its all about moderation.
I have weights at home and use them if its a strength traning day and I can’t make it to the gym. But I am way more motivated to lift at the gym because of the variety of equipment–and heavier weights if I need them (haha).
I used to be…and it wasn’t good. However, I am pleased to report that 30 seconds before writing this comment, I ate cookies n’ cream ice cream for breakfast, and it as the best thing ever.
Thanks for sharing this one – it is such an important topic – especially among women and fitness nuts (guilty).
char eats greens
I’m pretty sure I had orthorexia last year and didn’t know it existed, because I was agreeing to a lot of those things that come along with it. This was also the time that I lost my period…coincidence?! I had gone to the doctor a lot too and she had said to eat more and run less as well, which made me SO mad because I couldn’t believe that my body was punishing me for being so active. It didn’t feel right to me.
Needless to say that eventually I got over the whole eating thing, and had eventually gained some weight, and am still completely happy with where I am. I have my baby due in November and running still feels awesome. But, I definitely don’t think twice about what I’m eating like I did last year!
I definitely think I struggled with orthorexia a bit in the past, lost my period for about 2 years and over exercised a fair bit to help me deal with the stress that comes with grad school… i’m definitely in a better place now though, enjoying sweets almost daily now :)
When I lost my period I was searching for answers but it wasn’t as talked about then as it is now so thanks for addressing it, i’m sure this will help many people who are struggling
You are so totally awesome. I love love love this post. I definitely strugged with orthorexia in the past and still catch myself thinking ridiculous things like “I can’t go to that get together because pizza is just not okay.” But thankfully now I am *aware* that I think those things and can tell my silly brain to shut it.
Amanda @ .running with spoons.
It’s so great that you touched on this, Janae. My entire ED started with the innocent desire to get healthier and clean up my diet. At first I was just adding in more fruits and veggies, but eventually I was cutting out sugar, carbs, fats, meat, anything non-organic… and eventually I was living off of basically nothing at all. I thought that I was doing it all in the name of health, but in reality I was more miserable and unhealthy than I’ve ever been… and the people around me were becoming miserable too, because I would constantly judge and comment on the “junk” food they were eating. It was a long and difficult road, but I’m finally at a place where I’m becoming a lot more free with what I eat. It’s all about balancing physical health and emotional health, because one without the other is useless…
This was my whoooole entire liiifeeeeeeee for so many years. I wanted to be a “HEALTH FOOD PERSON”, but pretty quickly became a NO food person, because everything scared me. I lost/damaged so many friendships during that time, my relationship with my boyfriend completely broke down, and I was a horrible person for my family to live with. Food and being ‘healthy’ consumed (har har har punny) all my thoughts and energy (which i had none of, by the way, and was an emotional, irrational, hysterical, exhausted, HUNGRYYY mess). I never went to family gatherings, even avoiding things like weddings and baby showers and christenings and birthdays.. you know… important stuff. I wouldn’t spend more than 20 minutes at my boyfriend’s house, because I was SO SCARED one of his family would offer me food, and I was afraid to offend when I refused. So basically I had zero relationship with him/his life and it generally sucked. I never went out with friends.. always pretended I was ‘sick’ or ‘busy’ so I wouldn’t have to be potentially exposed to ‘unsafe’ food.
BASICALLY: it was ballssssssss. And I am so glad my life is now one where I am so excited for social events, I love seeing my friends, and am constantly begging my boyfriend to take me out for ice cream. I won’t lie and say I’m 100% over it, because sometimes I DO get upset or stressed if things don’t fit with my ‘food plan’ or I begin to get unnecessarily anxious leading up to an event, just because being anxious about food has become a HABIT for me. But it’s one I’m slooowly breaking very well… and deliciously.
I have definitely spent a couple years of my life battling orthorexia! I would wake up each morning and plan out what foods I would eat to meet a certain amount of calories (not enough calories for sure!!!!). It was ridiculous. Finally one of my sister in-laws mentioned that she wanted to invite my husband and I over for dinner but she never did because she didn’t think I would eat anything she made. Ouch. I am way more balanced now. Thank goodness!! I love food and running! :)
I struggled with anorexia and bulimia in my teenage years and though I try to eat healthy now, I remember times when I was so consumed over what to eat (and what NOT to eat) that it would consume a great percentage of my thoughts. Like the article said, it takes a lot of mental energy and is totally time-consuming and it can get in the way of relationships and school/work performance.
Thanks for bringing up this issue!
I’m making that sandwich. Have you ever tried Granny Smith’s apples, mozzarella and bacon together? Devine.
okay, first, brooke is SO TINY next to those weights!! and i love her little elephant :)
i LOVE apple and cheese sandwiches, and pear and cheese sounds amaaaazing! that’s actually quite french of you! you’re so distinguished!
i struggled with eating disorders throughout high school, and into college, and definitely can relate to what you wrote about being obsessive with everything you eat. i’ve found i am SO much happier with myself now that i have really educated myself in proper nutrition (my mom told me to take a nutrition class in college- best advice ever!!) and know that it’s okay to eat certain things- in moderation!- and that candy bar won’t kill me! it’s so important to just understand that food=fuel and is not the enemy. ugh. i could write pages and pages on this topic. thank you for posting this!
I have been creeping you silently for a hot minute now, but I just had to come out of the shadows to tell you that Brooke is freaking ADORABLE. I’m real iffy about children overall, but her and all her teensy little elephant clothes are TOO. CUTE. Congratulations momma!!
I did not know that disorder had a name but I know that many blogs I read are written by people that have it!
Brooke looks soooooo cute. Love the pink elephant stuff most of all! She makes me want to have another baby…at least until I take my 2-year-old out in public, then I remember that I don’t want another baby. LOL
Jaeme + Randy
There are some “health” blogs that I have stopped following because I think they focus so much on this and it really is an addiction. I like when people are real and I think that is why so many people love your blog :).
Cathryn @ MyHeartsContentblog
I’ve always had a pretty healthy relationship with food but I can see how easy it would be to get sucked into an obsession with eating healthily…this is a really brave, honest post. Well done.
To an extent, I do think I was orthorexic at one point! And you know where it got me? NO WHERE! If anything it caused me so much stress from trying to come up with the perfect meal every single time! I still eat very healthily, but there is much more room for chocolate, ice cream, and things which aren’t conventionally considered “healthy”…and life is that much better!
Yo Momma Runs
I definitely think I know someone with orthorexia. I didn’t know that was even a thing before reading this, but we have joked that it’s totally out of control. But it’s not dieting, so I thought my thinking it was weird was just the bad eater in me wanting to complain about someone’s healthy eating. But this friend spends insane amounts of time shopping, preparing, and eating certain foods. But she is so healthy in what she eats. Anyway, hmmm, something to think about.
Ksenija @ Health Ninja
So true! I love your explenation and I think a lot of people who go for a healthier diet and life and get into sports out of health reasons quickly develop orthorexic traits (me, too) – it is just important to be aware of it and beware. Great that running works as coping mechanism for you!
How heavy are your weights?
Yup! I was there for a few years and am just getting out. I think anyone who trains and diets for a bodybuilding show probably struggles with shades of orthorexia. Not fun and not healthy! I got really, really sick trying to be SUPER healthy. Not fun, horrible in fact. Everyone is different and I have got to love ME and be happy with me where I am and where I am going. Thanks for the post!
Kristen @ notsodomesticated
I’ve never experienced it. I go through periods where I’m eating super healthy, but I never really feel like I can’t eat certain foods. I’m very thankful that I never had to suffer with this or other eating disorders the way other people have. My heart hurts for them!
Suave makes a “sleek”‘ version of the Matrix shampoo! For $2 you’d still have money leftover for froyo!
Thank you so much for posting this. I really think that I struggle with this too. I’ve been obsessed lately about what I’m eating, what I can’t eat and what eating out will do to me. My fiance likes to go out to eat Friday – Sunday and I always feel so guilty.
I can’t have sugar becuase it does funky stuff to my body — bad headaches, eczema, foggy eyes, makes me moody (horrible I know) I think once I was cutting out all the sugar I started to cut out all other “bad” things and it went from there. I’m a vegetarian and sometimes eat fish and seafood for more protein. In addition to the sugar ban I’ve cut down the gluten, dairy and basically anything fun. I’m going on vacation tomorrow and was nervous about gaining weight but reading this really opened my eyes to my current behavior. I need to just relax a bit and not worry so much.
Claire @ Live and Love to Eat
Janae, you seem to have a great sense of balance – and your incredible fitness level allows you to enjoy those treats! Having that beautiful healthy baby is proof. :)
aww i love this sweet picture of brooke! so tiny!
this is interesting…i’ve never heard of orthorexia. i feel like i know a few people that don’t even know this could possibly be a disease…it’s not like they are anorexic or anything. just almost OCD about lists and groceries and weighing their meals etc. hmmmm…
Janae – you get your weight-lifting in more than you know! Lifting and carrying Brooke around all day has got to be giving you some toned arms!
Now, where can I find a mommy that will let me tote around their baby all day so I can be buff, too?? Probably not gonna happen, off to the store to buy a bag of flour. ;)
A few years ago I think I had orthorexia/an exercise disorder. I had recently lost most of my college weight gain and I was terrified of gaining it back. I cut out foods and would get upset when my workout schedule got messed up or ate something that was not on my “good” list. It took people in my life pointing out that I had taken things to an extreme for me to find a balance. I now do not restrict things and enjoy eating everything in moderation. I still love to workout but I now do it for how it makes me feel or for training…not out of fear of weight gain. Balance has helped and I am so much happier and healthier for it.
Thanks for the post Janae! And Brooke is beautiful!
Too much of any “one thing” is not a good thing, especially when it comes to eating. I can see how people can fall into the orthorexia cycle. It’s too bad. I don’t have the time or patience to obsess over food like that. I have 3 kids and I eat clean 80% of the time. I eat dessert almost daily. I have lost over 30 lbs and never counted calories or macros for one day.
Irina @ Chocolatea Time
Brooke is so beautiful! This may sound crazy to you (not) but you need to post more photos of her :)
I sometimes feel that I have orthorexic tendencies, but as soon as I’m aware of those thoughts I shut them up immediately. Life is too short and there is too much good food out there to fear every meal!
I feel like I go back and forth. For awhile there I definitely fell in the orthorexic category- constantly counting calories, experiencing anxiety when it came to going out with people, as well as family gatherings, etc. I rarely count calories anymore, something that just kind of fell off when I met and have maintained my goal weight, I have a healthier vision on weight gain (if I put on a lb. or 2, it’s okay! it’s not the end of the world), and I allow myself a glass of red wine and some dark chocolate at night. What I still struggle with is the eating out thing- while losing weight I dedicated one evening to going out to eat and eating and drinking what I want and enjoying an enormous cup of froyo- it worked really well for me and the following day I was able to go right back to eating healthy and working out. Problem is, if it’s not that dedicated day and someone wants to grab a beer or some food, I feel like I can’t. Definitely a work in progress and a realization that it is a problem, because in my head I’m thinking, “well it’s not healthy to eat that or drink that so I shouldn’t go out with them anyway…”
i love the picture of brooke next to the weights! she looks so tiny!
i struggle with the concept of “perfect eating,” although it’s gotten much better. i find myself every now and then though saying that i will go back to eating “right” … there should be no “wrong” eating. i was thinking the other day that the fact that i even have the option to choose to NOT eat certain foods is a blessing and i should be grateful! it’s hard to remember when i’m feeling down on myself but i will sure try. that’s actually one reason i love your blog so much is because i can appreciate your appetite! :) i love food, i even have a tattoo 1/2 sleeve of junk food/candy as a reminder that i shouldn’t feel guilty for anything. of course, i feel better when i eat healthy and try to do so most of the time but if i don’t, i shouldn’t feel bad.
sorry so long, think i’m trying to convince myself :)
anyway, thanks for the post!
Great post. Also, I LOVE Matrix Sleek shampoo and conditioner. I just bought some myself and my hair is haaaaaaaaaappy.
I’m battling with this now and having a tough time. I actually eat a LOT but I stress over all my choices, am OCD about it, eat the same thigns everyday and ‘lose control” and binge almost each night. Once a competitve runner I now for the last few years am digestively and physically and mentally a mess :) I’ve lost everything and am rock bottom and simply go for one slow slow laborious walk per day. Feel like I have fibromyalagia or something…constipated all the time.
Not exercising + constipated + “binging” at night = complete disarry on how to “gain” weight and be HEALTHY and straighten out my guts…its a vicious cycle and lost I am.
MANY MANY bloggers are orthorexic….many….its sad…very sad.
Also sad that I see SO many only eat by justifying it with exercise or eat SO little or eat no junk…when I eat like 600 cals at 10 pm each night after huge meals and snacks all day….and am physically and digestively uncomfortable. Docs say “ibs” or “take antianxiety”…I think my STRESS over food is WORSE than anything and is the ONLY reason for this whole mess. But now in my 30’s, I’ve “gone too far” and seriously messed up my guts and I do NOT like doctors or invasive tests , therefore I avoid it. I need a “cleanse” ironically because my guts are so impacted and bombarded with my constant habits/routines/same foods, etc..yet, I can’t afford to lose weight…I need someone to give me a meal plan…cleanse me out and figure it out and I’m not a fan of the different nutritionists I’ve seen that tend to have 100 different opinions. Frustrating and discourging…if you have answers, email me :)
I am a male runner and i have struggled for over a decade with Anorexia. I have been diagnosed so many times with this horrible illness. So many people dont understand that its really not about the food at all but the control(at least for meamong other things) I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I have been in and out of treatment and i am actually recovering thanks to God and my lovedones. It can affect both sexes and i sometimes catch myself eliminating certain foods but i have to remember that in order for my body to run great and.perform, rhen i have to fuel it. Thank you for sharing your story to others.
I struggled with orthorexia a couple years ago, between the ages of 14 and 16. It began when my grandmother became very sick after years of health issues and bad eating habits. I remember visiting her in the hospital and thinking about how incredibly scared I was, and how I could never let that happen to me. I was 4’11 and weighed 132 pounds at the time (kinda chubby and never thought about what I ate), but that soon changed. I started running, and I discovered that I preferred eating foods which made me happy *after* I ate them. I began to read ingredients lists, as well as nutrition articles online. I was losing weight and I felt so much better, and I felt empowered. Watching certain people eat would disgust me and I prided myself on how disciplined I was. It wasn’t enough, though, and I became obsessive about planning my meals. Sometimes I even wrote down all the “good” foods we had in the house and I would organize what time I would eat them the next day. I would cry in private if I knew I was going to a birthday celebration where I would have to eat cake. By October of 2012, I was just around 95 pounds – losing nearly 40 pounds in 2 years. Oddly, my parents never really did anything (though I knew they were concerned), and there was only one incident where two friends took me aside and asked if I was okay. And suddenly, around Christmas that year – it just stopped! I always thought that recovering from that kind of thing took a lot of stress and effort, but I just started eating more and letting myself indulge sometimes. It started when I met someone I quickly fell for, and because most of my mental energy suddenly became focused on him, I didn’t worry about what I ate so much. A year and a half later, we started dating (and still are!), and it’s the best relationship anyone could ever hope for – he’s the first person in my life to tell me I’m beautiful and make me believe it. Of course, I told him about my struggles, and he’s been completely supportive.
I recently have been working to address and try to overcome orthorexia. I feel this became such a control over my life that I fear to let go because it has been so engraved in my mind and a part of me does not know how. My question is how to move forward and retrain myself to have a healthy relationship with food. While some say to eat whenever they think about food it leaves me feeling uncomfortable by the end of the day. I think the most distressing part is the constant thoughts about the next meal and food itself. I also am was advised to stop running. This dramatic change is a bit startling and I was wondering if you have any tips or advise from overcoming this disorder. I also am afraid I will not be able to establish a healthy relationship was this a difficulty you endured?
Madelyn I’m right there with you. The constant thoughts about food are terrible! I have days where I’m fine but then I have days where I’ll eat something that I had previously considered “bad” for me so then I’ll go back to my vegan orthorexic ways, which does NOT help me gain back the weight that I so desperately need. It’s an endless battle, and it especially isn’t helpful seeing all of the media jumping on all of the new health trends out there.