Not Always Happy

Charlie hates being left out.  He has to be included at all times and even chimes in on the conversation every now and then.

IMG 8180

Last night we had spaghetti, fruit salad and garlic bread.  Is anything better than a loaf of french bread…..nope, except for the last picture on today’s post.

IMG 8181

I have wanted to talk about something for a long time and thought today would be the best day to do so.

I am not always happy.  Most of the time I am happy but I do not show the times that I am not on the blog (besides my posts about injuries).  I am not always running around with ice cream cones while hugging Billy and talking about how awesome life is.

Most of the time I do try to look at the positive, smile a lot and be optimistic but I am human and I do have really low times too.  There are obviously things that are going on in my life, family etc that are not so great, just like everyone else, and I do not include these things on the blog.

What happens to me is that I try to be so so so happy all of the time, being as cheerful as I can for my students, family, friends and blog, after a few weeks of doing so it turns out to be too much.  I can only handle hiding my emotions and constantly being happy for so long and then I crash.  Billy and I are noticing lately that this cycle is usually every 28 days;)

Yesterday, was one of those days.  I stayed home all day long after the gym, endorphins didn’t even have an effect on me.  I didn’t go to the movies with my in-laws or to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (obviously something was definitely wrong) with them because I was honery, grumpy, really sad and all I wanted to do was stay in my pajamas, be mean and eat baked potatoes with ketchup (my ultimate comfort food…I know, weird).

I finally cheered up at around 7, put on some make-up and real life clothes and the rest of the night was a lot better.

I am not writing this for pity because I am feeling back to myself again but I do want you to know that I hate running somedays, my hormones take over my body and I turn into a psycho and I am not very fun to be around.

I prefer to write about happy things and the highlights of my day on the blog and one of my biggest goals in life is that I am a optimistic/positive/good example for my high school students.   I take great pride in the fact that a lot of my students have told me that I am a positive influence in their life and have taught them that success in life comes from how they handle the setbacks that come along their way.

The majority of my life I do try my hardest to have a good attitude and be happy……but let’s just get this straight, I can be a beast and boy, do I have A LOT of things to work on in my relationships and life in general.

IMG 8188

It is amazing the healing powers that a dark chocolate peanut butter cup has on me:)

————————————————————————-

As a kid or teenager who was a positive influence in your life?

-My high school health teacher was one of the reasons I wanted to be a health teacher, he was always so happy and fun-loving.  He really helped me to realize that it isn’t our circumstances in life that determine our happiness but how we overcome our obstacles and bounce back.

Please let me know I am not alone in the monthly cycle effecting your thoughts/happiness big time!?!?!


You May Also Like

91 comments

Reply

Janae, one of the things that I love about you is how fast you do bounce back after a tough day. No wallowing in self pity for days etc. You are an amazing person and our family is so lucky to have you cheer leading us most of the time! Have a great day baby girl!

Reply

Awww so sweet! I love it when Moms reply to blog posts – my mommy does all the time.

Reply

Yay for moms!!!!!!!!!

Reply

You are for sure not alone – I think MANY of us know how you feel lol

chocolate and real life clothes do make things better :))

Reply

Ugh I feel like this too sometimes. When you are just trying to fake being happy for everyone and everything it can all pile up and then I explode and have an embarrassing cry in front of my boyfriend. He’s good to put up with me :)

Reply

I get those days too. While LOVE staying at home with my girls, there isn’t much structure to our day besides gym in the morning and lunch and dinner/ bedtime. I am usually most emotional he 2.5-1.5 weeks before I start. I get sooo frustrated with being at home all the time (to save money) and having a 4 and 2 year old is frustrating to begin with. Fortunately I don’t explode (I hope) , I just keep going and eventually it all evens itself out. You are not alone and just be thankful that your hormones are doing what they are supposed to, as crazy as they may be.

Reply

I’m having the same week! I’m glad you got over being a grumpy kitten!! Don’t worry friend we are all a little crazy! Your pic posing with that bread is so cute!!! Haha Facebook profile pic for sure.

Reply

Girl, this post came at the perfect time for me. Alllll this last week I have been in a
funk~see Friday’s post (http://101sprinkles.blogspot.com/2011/07/my-blahh-friday.html) I kept texting my mom all night and telling her how unhappy I was feeling and wondering why I couldn’t be happy and “normal” like others, she put it into perspective for me….just because we see people happy on the outside doesn’t mean they are happy on the inside. Everyone’s version of “happy” is different. We are all going to have good and bad days (weeks) and all we have is each other to get us thru it. Thank you for posting this so I know I am not alone!! P.S. Send me one of those pb cups ;)

Reply

You ARE NOT alone on this! I always try to also be happy because it’s so important to enjoy life, but we are human. We have emotions that we can’t push and hide away forever. I honestly think that it’s healthy for people to have a day where they can feel bad or what not because you can’t be happy all the time. Nobody can be like an energizer bunny! It’s good to have different emotions and accept them. But I really admire that you didn’t let it get to you for long!! :)

My high school Leadership teacher was always a positive influence on me. She was like a distant mom to me! She helped teach me how to be a leader. She always cared about her students- she has the biggest heart. She was always there to listen, give you an outside perspective on a problem, or to just give you a hug when something terrible happened. Thats the one teacher I’m really going to miss now that I’m no longer in high school.

Reply

ugh girl I AM SO WITH YOU! i try to think of the positive and spin everything around in life in order to take something good out of it. but some days its just not possible and i am STUCK IN A MOOD and i do not want out of it and i basically attack everyone and anyone that tries to cheer me up. yes it sucks but we are human and we are expected to have these bad days because that is life ya know!

Reply

Thanks for being honest! I’m the same way on my blog–I don’t often talk about the bad days or the grumpy moods but believe me, they happen! I know I (and plenty of others) appreciate you being open and letting us know you’re human after all. And no, nothing can be better than warm French bread. Delicious!

Reply

You have no idea how much I loved/needed this kind of post today. I am exactly the same way. I am the “happy” one in my family. I’m always optimistic and up. But sometimes, the pressure to be the one always filled with good cheer can leave you feeling exhausted and sometimes even taken for granted. Then I end up feeling guilty for being in a bad mood and that just puts me in a worse mood. It all goes away pretty quickly and it takes the littlest thing (a good show on tv, an awesome meal, a great book) to put me back on my regular track but these moments of sadness/depression/frustration/anger do exist and need to be used as a signal that you need to take some time just for you.

Reply

ps i love your mom. she is the cutest/ kindest woman ever!! you are so so lucky!!

Reply

i know exactly how you feel! I’m so glad to know I’m also not the only one out there because at just 21 I feel a little crazy. Unfortunately for me, it’s not always 28 days apart. i hold in a lot because I hate confrontation and have a tough time saying what I actually think to people and find it easier to be happy and nice and just go with the flow around others, so that combined with my womanly hormones I have to take, I get overwhelmed, grumpy, mean and just plain tired of being happy for the dayf. I think as long as you recognize it, it means you know it’s not your normal self or a regular thing to be doing and it’s okay. For me, it’s better than being unhappy on a regular basis, but sometimes it does feel like too much.

Reply

You’re not alone, Janae!!! We all turn into wild beasts every now an then. I do it to my family and my boyfriend every now and then. They will say something and I will nearly bite their hands off because I am in such a bad mood. I feel so guilty afterwards and really need to reflect on what’s really bothering me. I’m usually able to come to my senses after a while but man, am I scary. I would hate to be around me during my low times.

I’m happy things picked up for you. Chocolate and PB usually has that affect on people ;)

Reply

Yup I definitely have that every 28 day mood swing thing. I also get it when I can’t run.

I try to not let it take over my life, focusing on the good, but sometimes you just have to let it all out. I, like you, try to not let it last very long, but I feel that the best medicine sometimes is just sitting down and allowing yourself to veg out and forget life for a while.

That peanut butter cup would make me a happy camper too – WOW! Is that one of the peanut butter buckets from RMCF? Love love love those!!!!

My mom has always been my biggest influence – she had me very young and had to overcome a lot to make sure my brother and I had the best life she could provide. She still works her heiny off for us to this day (and I’m almost 30!) because she wants nothing more in life than to be the best influence she can be for her children.

Reply

Not alone in the least – ahhh the joys of being ladies! ;-)

I get like that too and it’s just like leave me alone, I want to watch crappy television (well in my opinion it’s good) and just be. It always passes after a bit but sometime it happens. Don’t beat yourself up over it :) You’re AWESOME!

Reply

You are definitely not alone. Thanks for sharing. Everyone has a bad day from time to time. You are allowed. :)

Reply

I work with pre-school kids and you feel like you have to be 100% happy all of the time because they just don’t understand that sometimes life kicks you in the face. It can be tough, but walking into the room with 20 little ones, who just want to hug you, sit on your lap, and play with you; it can really change your day!

Your mom seems pretty awesome! I would definitely high five her…I’m a big high fiver…

Reply

I’m totally on the same page as you!! I definitely have a low point every 28 days or so and just need a little time to snap out of it!

Also, being a teacher can be so draining! You definitely have to be “on” all day and that takes a lot out of you!

Reply

I have those funks every now and then too! More often than not I am a happy-go-lucky-girl, but I have those Debbie Downer days every once in a while… they are the worst, but I’d rather have them only every so often than to always be that way! PS that French bread it ginormous!

Reply

Janae,
I love your blog! Yes, you tend to write about happy things, and that’s what I love- no matter how gloomy my day is, I know that you will have something positive to say. That’s obviously not to say that you always need to be positive, because it’s not in anyone’s nature, but that you keep things in perspective.

Reply

Great topic to write about! I’m not always happy too – I’ve actually felt really weird the last week or so and I’ve just been a crazy irritated cryable mess. Glad you’re feeling better – andddd baked potatoes and ketchup are my comfort food too. Represent!

Reply

Mine affects my happiness BIG TIME.. usually for one day a month I am miserable.. it’s currently going on right now and is in overdrive because my man is away for the week. I’m trying to cheer myself up with the fact that my best friend EVER is coming to visit in three days for a whole week! Life is good and there’s really nothing to be cranky about. I LOVE your blog and your honesty- I am right there with you as I’m happy for the most part but gah crankiness/a day of baked potatoes happens sometimes!

Reply

Totally get those moods as well! I have to say running makes me sane now so if I were to never run again, I would have to find something just as addicting :) The PB cup looks amazing!!

Reply

I’m a newish reader of your blog, but it is already so obvious to me that you are really honest with yourself and your readers and I love that! I have major mood swings that I thank my hormones for, but I think it is actually healthy and usually brings something to the surface needs to be dealt with that. I’m glad you are back to feeling good! I love your blog – it has been so great to read while I’m dealing with a knee injury! I’m not a awesome runner like you but I do *really* love to exercise so it has been hard for me. You are a great example of how to stay positive and appreciate the things I *can* do even when injured!

Reply

all you can be is HUMAN and HUMANS have bad days, bad moods, etc. No getting by it, just be glad it is over. Right?
Cheers to days that surpass those moments!
LC

Reply

I have days like that too – when I roll into a cocoon! My poor hubby after 7 years still doesn’t “get it” but somedays it’s so hard to shake!

Reply

not to get all philisophical on you or anything but what is happiness without unhappiness? i just read this fascinating article “how to land your kid in therapy” http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/2/. one of the passages that stood out was —

“….Happiness as a byproduct of living your life is a great thing,” Barry Schwartz, a professor of social theory at Swarthmore College, told me. “But happiness as a goal is a recipe for disaster.” It’s precisely this goal, though, that many modern parents focus on obsessively—only to see it backfire. Observing this phenomenon, my colleagues and I began to wonder: Could it be that by protecting our kids from unhappiness as children, we’re depriving them of happiness as adults?” —

personally, i welcome raw emotion. the good is even better when you’ve experienced the bad.

Reply

Emily, YOU NAILED IT!!! Wow. I have never thought about it that way. I have definitely noticed that some of my students suffer because they have never been able to feel sadness. How could I not enjoy happiness without being down in the dumps ever now and then. I adore you and love your perspective!

Reply

Girl! I think that all of us ladies have those days where we just don’t feel ourselves and we are analyzing every thing in our lives. So you are definitely not the only one!

Reply

You are amazing Janae! I love you girl!

When do you get back?

Reply

Janae, I LOVE you! Thank you for being so open and honest about this! Of course everyone has their down times but I think the fact that you can recognize that, have one of those days, and then move forward with positivity is amazing :). Why do you have to live on the opposite side of the country?? haha

Reply

You honesty and genuine personality it inspiring girl! Being happy would not have the same effect or feel if it was a constant, then it would just become the norm. Everyone has those debbie downer times/ day/ etc. The best part is getting out of them and being grateful :) Also, now you have me craving fresh bread and a majorly delish pb cup!

Reply

It actually makes me feel better to know that EVEN YOU have off days. You’re intimidating with all your perkiness. ;) But as others have stated, your positivity is part of what keeps us coming back for more hungryrunnergirl. Injuries??? Roll with it and come back stronger and smarter! Bad hair day??? Take a picture and laugh with friends. Feeling in a funk??? Blog about it and realize that tomorrow is a new day. I surround myself with positive people, and you are included in that number. Thanks for the daily smiles. But if you need a day off, I’ll be here when you come back.

Reply

It’s not just you with the monthly cycle. It’s fun, but sucks, because most of my co-workers are female and we cycle together. This leads to some very interesting work days. You would think we all had major personality dysfunctions. I can snap at the smallest thing, but spend most of the time wallowing in self-pity during those days (ex: everybody hates me, nobody wants to be my friend, all of my coworkers think I’m a bitch, etc.). Luckily it only lasts a short time and after a couple of days I’m back to my usual self.

Reply

what a great post!!! It is impossible to be happy all the time, so we don’t think less of you one single bit. That being said, i do think you do a fabulous job of being upbeat and positive and seriously never fail to make me laugh or smile and want to have your great attitude towards life. Basically, you rock. ;)

Reply

Oh girl, you are far from alone! Depression/blues are my biggest symptoms of PMS and it really sucks. I can get so down some months. I just try to remember that it’s hormones and I’ll come back around.

Reply

appreciate your honesty! e

Reply

Thank you for sharing. I think most can relate to this entry. Especially the 28 day thing ;) Like you, I am usually a very bubbly person. Trying to always look at the good. I try hard to stay positive in my blog. Though, I must admit, there are days I would like to share that it isn’t just that great of a day. It can be hard to let others see that side of me. Enjoy your day.

Reply

You are not alone! I turn into a crazy ball of crying, whining, sleeping, and eating once a month! And baked potatoes are my favorite..except I like mine with honey mustard or bbq sauce! My aunt has always been a positive influence on me because she tries her best to be positive! I am so blessed to have her in my life and I think she has helped me be the person I am today:)

Reply

Good news and bad news for you. The good news is definitely everyone has the low days. Or at least everyone I know, I have never met a person who wouldn’t.

The bad news is that the piece of bread you are holding in your arms on the photo is definitely not French. Trust me, I am from Europe and used to live in France. I can trust it can be delicious (otherwise YOU wouldn’t be eating it :) ), but nothing to have in common with French bread. The closest I got it in the US was at “Le Pain Quotidien” (don’t know if they are somewhere else than NYC) or Dean and Deluca.

Have you been to Europe? You would go crazy in France/Italy/Spain :) I love that you love food as I do :) And my greatest respect for the hard work with kids!

Reply

HA…..I love your good and bad news;) I have NEVER been to Europe, I want to so badly and I am so jealous that you are from there and LIVED in France. I just read on the package from the grocery store and it said French bread so of course I believe all that I read ha. Can I come visit you in Europe and you can take me to all the amazing food places?

Reply

Person with such a love for great food simply has to come to Europe!!! Of couse you can come visit! Czech Republic is not that great about foods as France or Italy, but those are only one hour flight away :) Or I prefer car ride, because than you can bring home lots of food and wine goodness with you :) So come and visit!!!

Reply

LOVE YOU Janae! I love that you always share a dose of positivity but also realness in that things can sometimes be hard. I feel the same way sometimes – trying to have it all together for everyone and everything else. Then I just CRASH. That happened to me this past week too. Hopefully we’ll both be back to our normal chipper selves stat.

Reply

oh woman, i am right there with you. as of now and through next week i will be a basket case of emotions. Even then, this happens even when it’s not that time…danged ED. But we always come out in the end, right? Happy smiley face and I hope you made it to RMCF…my old employer. I can make you any kind of caramel apple ANY TIME you want.

Reply

I feel ya on this one. I always say that certain time during the month is when my uterus takes over my brain and also turns into my second stomach and I just simply cant be held responsible for what occurs!

Reply

You’re definitely not alone! We all have our moments/days/weeks like that. It’s part of being human. I completely agree that life is really about how we react to things (good or bad) and how we treat others.

In high school, my cheerleading coach, my young life leader, my English teacher (who is now my colleague!), and my parents were the most positive influences I had. I love them!

Reply

I am totally understanding the monthly cycle affecting mood!! When it is close to my time- HELLO crying for no reason, feeling insecure, questioning my relationships, etc! It is horrible!! The last time I was pre-visitor my boyfriend and I had a HUGE fight because I was bugging out over the fact we were seeing Harry Potter with his ex-girlfriend. Which had been the plan for MONTHS!!! But all of the sudden I was convinced he was leaving me and he didn’t love me- it was such a fun trip! NOT!!!

Reply

It’s all about the final attitude and perspective, not the road to get there. I almost always have a grumpy episode at some point during the day (or a few times a week) but within 10 minutes I’m fine and ready to move on. If you let yourself get stuck in that mood, then that’s where the bad stuff starts to happen.

Reply

You are defs not alone haha! but nothing chocolate and peanut butter can’t handle/fix :)

Reply

Janae, you are awesome! I have serious cynic tendencies, and reading your blog is always like a little ray of sunshine that makes me think, “Okay, is life really that bad? No… because there’s ice cream.” :)

Seriously though, you ARE a positive influence, and it is much appreciated! Even by us cynic types.

And at least you seem to be able to blame your crazy moments and emotional strangeness on your happy little cycle (don’t we love it?!)… I just tend to be nuts at random times. Last night, I couldn’t stop crying to my boyfriend about how much I missed him. Is it my period? Nope. I’m just nuts.

Reply

Thank you so so much Jessica…you really made my day!!! Seriously, ice cream really does make life so much better;)
OHHHHH…..girl, I would BAWL being away from Billy….do not think you are nuts!!! LOVE YOU!!

Reply

You are definitely not alone! I get the same way and I love your honesty with this.

Reply

thanks for writing about this! we know you are human. you are expected to have bad days! i hope you didn’t write this because you got a hate-comment about you being positive. i wish i could be as positive as you! i would love to see you in action teaching. i am thinking lately about how i’m going to change my teaching this year and what i’m going to do to step it up. it is so easy to get grumpy at school when the kids are being punks. anyway, my point is that i think i should take lessons from you on being a positive teacher because some days i’m just not and am not fun and don’t have the energy to have a rockin lesson and make it fun, ya know? please say yes?

Reply

No, hate comments I just wanted to write about it because I wanted to be real:) It really is so easy to get grumpy at school…I totally know how you feel. Let me know what steps you are taking…I might need your help this year:)

Reply

Janae! One of the things I love about you and reading your blog is how real you are. I think it’s wonderful you opened up and told us that. You are such a sweet girl-I’m happy to hear your ‘down’ time didn’t last too long :) You are the reason I started running and you’ve been motivating me for the past 7 months.
I hope you have a great week!

Reply

JENNIFER….you absolutely made my days!!! SEVEN MONTHS OF RUNNING…you are absolutely AMAZING!!! I am so so happy!!! Keep me updated on how it is doing!

Reply

Girl let me tell you that you are not alone in trying to make the most of lifes highs and lows. Plain and simple, life is hard! It is nearly impossible to get up everyday and feel like you are at 100%. But from those difficult times we can always learn something, whether it be to appreciate lifes blessings or to learn a new lesson.

Things get dark for all of us, but after every valley comes a peak…and girl yours is just around the corner.

Reply

You’re such a sweetie! Thanks for sharing your positive vibe & energy w/us all here. Thanks for the reality check, too, that life isn’t always a bed of roses, even if that’s what it appears on the outside.

I used to be a Health teacher, too, before I started staying home w/the kiddos. I decided to be a health teacher because of my 7th grade Health teacher, Ms. Coombs. She made me so excited to be fit! Love her. I’ll probably go back to teaching in 3-4 years.

Reply

I totally agree about the reality check part! Everyone loves you and your blog Janae!!

Reply

Jan and Di….I adore you both, thank you so so much for your sweet words and that is so cool Jan that you are a health teacher too…..did you do high school or junior high health?

Reply

I taught jr. high health. Loved it, but I haven’t been teaching for 11 YEARS!!!! Hard to believe. I was the “wellness coordinator” for our school district for 4 years (just quit a year ago), and it was a great job. I worked mostly from home, and created & managed the wellness-incentive programs for the district employees. Then even that got to be too much w/my 5 kids, so I quit that, too. It’s fun to read about your experiences & see you at a stage I was at about 15 years ago (what!!? I’m not that old).

Reply

Janae–you’re just the best. I’m so glad you posted this. Not because you were grumpy, but because we can all identify with you and appreciate your honesty. I think most of us feel better knowing other people experience similar emotions, etc. It does remind us that we’re not alone.
And hey, we’re ladies, so we can always blame our hormones. ;) Who will argue?! Other gals will understand and men are just too afraid of us during that time. :D
Sending hugs and love your way!

Reply

Oh, Jenny….I absolutely adore you!! Thank you so much for your sweet words and it really is funny how afraid men get of us during that time ha!!!

Reply

You are definitely not alone, girl! I have my moments too.

Reply

SO true. It happens every month, WITHOUT fail. SO yeah, you’re with the rest of us :)
Keep it real, and eat some chocolate—it helps!! hah.

Reply

Yes, I go through these moods quite often.

And yes, it is refreshing to see that not everyone else’s life is perfect. But I do want to let you know that your positive attitude is refreshing and inspiring as well. Yours was one of the first running blogs I stumbled on a few months ago, probably because eating and running are two of my favorite things. I keep reading not only because eventhough you can work out like crazy, you are funny and real, and don’t seem to take yourself too seriously. That is refreshing as well.

I think I commented before that they way you have stayed so positive throughout your injury and recovery is inspiring, even to an old, slow, way less seriously injured runner like me. I’ve honestly thought to myself, “if she could so through this, not be able to run, and still get up early and go to the gym, totally kill a workout while injured, and come home smiling, you can surely get out there and try a little, and stop whining about not being able to run.”

So thanks, for keeping me going.

Reply

OH GIRL…I am SO SO sorry about your injury and not being able to run!! I totally understand how hard it is to still get up and go but I am sure you are addicted to those endorphins just like me and it makes the rest of the day so much better!! Praying for you that you are running again ASAP!!! Seriously….there is nothing better than eating and running!! Thank you SO SO much for your sweet words, you made my day!

Reply

I think that’s only normal to get a bit…less than perfectly happy…once a month! And it’s great to recognize that it is only temporary.

I turn into an extra B*tchy Bee about every 28 days! I am bi-polar about how that makes me feel toward workouts though. Some months I throw my pjs on and am like “HELL NO AM I RUNNING!” other months I get determined to run out my b*tchiness and go distance.

Reply

My dearest Janae-
The perfectionist in us shines through in a multitude of ways doesn’t it? You are a positive, upbeat, smiling lady 95% of the time (30% more than most), but that 5% you are hard on yourself for not being able to turn the mood around. I have found that instead of trying to get out of the funk or “fix” the mood, I just ride it and experience the emotion for what it is…….bored, quiet, tired, sad, etc. Not to get a philosphical, but I feel I have had a more complete human experience by welcoming ALL emotions, not just the positive ones.

I charted my emotions, cravings, physical symptoms etc on a spreadsheet last summer. It is amazing how cyclical things are for me. If you like keeping stats on yourself try this. I loved it, still refer to it now and then.

PS. The french bread pic is a beauty.

Reply

OH ERICA….you always know exactly what to say!!! Seriously, I am so thankful for you!! I just told Billy about how I am going to start tracking emotions etc and we both think that is the best idea ever. What a great way to help me recognize what is going on and that it is NORMAL that I am feeling a certain way at a certain time of month! We really are perfectionists ha and I love that you said that you experience the emotion for what it is….I think denying these feelings makes it WORSE and makes me feel guilty for feeling what I am. Thank you and I need to send you a check for being my therapist:) I LOVE YOU!

Reply

I really needed this today, i had a day just like yours yesterday. I have been dealing with my first injury that has totally sidelined me from running and it is messing with my head big time! Yesterday i was supposed to run the Timp 1/2 with my husband and had been so excited about it and ended up having to give my spot away and not run. I was SO sad all evening friday and was so honery and feeling sorry for myself on Sat. I can’t run at all which is complete torture and i need that therapy. I am usually pretty easy going, happy, cheerful, and patient but yesterday i was so sad and cried about everything and was just not nice at all. I was analizing every relationship in my life and wondering if anyone really cared or if anyone even likes me, just a lot of self pity. I am still dealing with it but woke up feeling bad for the way i acted and with some perspective. I am sorry you had a bad day but its good to know you are a normal person with completely normal emotions.

Reply

GIRL!!!! I AM SO SO SORRY!! I am PRAYING for you!!! I saw something on Facebook and I was wondering what happened? What is your injury. You know you can call me anytime to talk about it because I KNOW how awful it is to have our therapy taken away from us. I have those EXACT SAME thoughts too sometimes and wake up feeling totally different the next day. I feel like we are the same person….CALL ME!

Reply

I am glad you did this post. I love,love, well kinda obsess over your blog. I love it due to our love for kids (i teach as well), health, family, running, and of course eat ice cream every single night. But as much as I love to laugh when I read it, I liked reading a more serious side. You need to let this blog be your outlet. I can only imagine how you feel with not being able to run. I pray 4 you t recover many nights and think of you while I run. I wouldn’t be as positive as you. I would be a grumpy, sad girl(trust me I was for 2 weeks unable to run). We as your readers love you no matter if you are super happy,ice cream eating or a chocoholic grump. Luv ya!

Reply

OH MY GOODNESS….girl, thank you for being such a good friend to me!!! I always get nervous to post how I am really feeling sometimes but you have definitely given me a confidence boost and I really appreciate it!! Thank you girl and THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for your thoughts and prayers! LOVE YOU!

Reply

We are so similar! I am usually peppy and happy until that time comes…and for some reason it always hits me by surprise (my mom and fiancee are NEVER surprised)….but after moping for a minute or so and taking my special potion (pamprin and crystal light energy) I feel muuuch better :)

Reply

i did it today actually…had no desire to leave my apt, and just needed to be alone. so thats what i did. been in a funk lately, but hoping to snap out of it :) thank you for being honest…thats why i love your blogging!

Reply

Thank you for sharing! As someone who suffers from depression, I think not being happy can be a very taboo topic. Who wants to hear you feel absolutely horrible for no reason when things seem perfect in your life? It’s hard to hold it all in and try to be bubbly all the time. It’s great to have a supportive husband/family/friends you can talk to and who understands you. It seems like you have that as well. :)

Reply

I’ve had absolutely horrible events/things in my life, and the one thing that has always kept me going is perspective. You can focus on how life could be better or you can focus on how it could be worse.

Oh and I think of Kenny and what he wishes he could do

http://smalls149.wordpress.com/

(such a sad, inspiring story)

Reply

Janae, I loves this post and it came at the right time. Usually, I feel like the happiest girl in the world, but the past few days I have been in a bad mood. My injury isn’t healing as quickly as I want, I am still awaiting a job contract, and a former employer has cheated me out of some of my pay…. It was bringing me down and I was upset I just wanted to lay on the couch and cuddle my pups! Funny enough, it was my woman time, too. Hardest of all for me is that running provides so much endorphins and stress relief, so when I can’t it’s a big bummer. I’m feeling a little more cheerful after a great weekend, though!!!

Reply

Girl, I am SO sorry about your injury!!! Have you heard about the job contract? What a bummer about the former employer. It really is so tough to go through all of those things without running and at the same time as your period…I am praying for you!

Reply

I definitely have a similar cycle, but I’ve found if i vent slowly throughout the week, things tend not to build up quite as much. Also try to have some alone time at least once a week where I can just do whatever I want and only worry about me. It helps!

Hope you’re doing better…maybe better enough to send me one of those pb cups!

Reply

I’d say the only effect my monthly cycle has on me is that I am more quiet. But I ultimately know that even that shouldn’t affect my mood or make me grumpy, so I just choose not to be. I think if I feel tempted to be that way I choose to surround myself with family and serve them and try to make myself be in a good mood! :) Because the worst thing I can do is shut myself up in my room and dwell on all my problems and sin issues in an unhealthy way

Reply

Wow, you are SO not alone! I know things could be worse for me, but I have fought my cycle and it’s effects since it started at age 12. It’s been awful since day one in so many ways…..I just turned 38 last week and still have problems. Hang in there girl!!!

Reply

I rarely comment on your blog but I am obsessed with it and even went through all your archives to read everything I missed before I found it this past spring :) I can so relate to this…I am kind of known as the happy, cheerleader girl in my circle of friends/family (3 years of volleyball, every year I won ‘most encouraging’…I guess that is just as good as a skills-related award? LOL) I like that I am but as you said it’s HARD…I feel so much pressure to always be positive and that people will really judge me if I crack. I’m trying to find a better balance because the crash is hard and it always comes…keep being real :) I love your blog!!

Reply

LAUREN!!! Thank you SO SO much for your comment!! You made my day and we sound A LOT alike!!! Let’s work on finding a better balance together:)

Reply

Like others have said, you are not alone in these feelings!! We all go through ups and downs in this life and eventually we need to be real and just let ourselves hurt/cry/vent (or whatever) and just feel the emotions. I know I feel so much better if I just let myself cry out my frustrations as opposed to holding everything in for the sake of saving face. Being a natural encourager/optimist is a GREAT trait & I so admire this about you. But I also admire that you show your readers that you too have some not so happy moments. Love the blog!

Reply

People say the same thing to me, too- I actually just answered a question like this on my blog. How ironic :). I think you are an awesome and inspiring person. I really hope to meet you one day! I’m also a realist and know that it is impossible for someone to be happy all of the time (it’s called opposition in all things, right?), but I appreciate your positive attitude on your blog. In contrast, it’s also good to see the “real life” Janae too.

Reply

I know I’m late to this post saga but girl, you’re not alone. One of the girls at work called me the “happy happy girl” and I asked her why she said “well you’re always happy, we don’t understand how someone can be so happy all the time” I nearly fainted. I’ve cried, publicly at work more then the rest of the staff combined. But you know being a happy person doesn’t mean you’re always happy it means your base, your default is happy and loving and positive I think. Because I have just as many ups and downs as those cosmo drinking Sex in the City girls :) but my heart is happy and good? I hope :) ahhhhh chocolate and peanut butter… drool

Reply

Hi Janae!! I know I’m like WAY late on commenting (sorry, catching up on posts- work has gotten in the way of my blog reading…grr! Silly work- haha :D)
But I just wanted to tell you THANK YOU for posting this. Sometimes it is easy to kind of ‘get hung up’ on the fact that it feels like some people are always so happy..and you want to be the same, but it’s so hard to be happy 100% of the time. I know I’m normally happy, but I definitely have bad days too.
Oh, and I love you eat baked potatos & ketchup too!!!!! That is one of my favorite foods. I always get weird looks when people see me dumping ketchup on my baked potato…but it’s SO good! It’s like french fries…but in whole potato form ;)
& AWESOME picture of the PB Cup! YUM!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *