I have had requests for more dating stuff so here we go.
There are times that it is super fun and exciting to be back in the dating scene and then times where I feel extremely lazy about dating and just want to spend every night for the rest of my life watching Netflix while eating apple fritters on my couch (I guess if I find a guy that wants to live the apple fritter/netflix dream with me then I am set).
I’m not going to lie, it takes a lot of energy and time to get back out there but I have met and dated some great people and I’ve had a lot of fun. PS no specific stories because anyone that I have dated knows about www.hungryrunnergirl.com. Oh, and people always ask how I meet these guys—> church, set-ups, people that I knew from before I got married and meeting them through mutual friends.
Like I said the other day, I am super lucky to have these amazing single girlfriends to experience this whole thing with…
Things have definitely changed over the years. I dated my ex-husband for about two years and then we were married for a bit so it has been some time since I was out there dating different people.
I was just a baby the last time I was in the dating world (and I was obsessed with ice cream back then too):
I came up with a list in my head the other day of all of the things that have changed in the last seven + years and I thought I would share:
***You can completely stalk the person you are going to go out with before you actually do. Okay, stalk is a little over the top but I mean you can really find out a lot about them before actually even going out with them. You can see a bunch of pictures of them from over the last decade, who they are friends with (the mutual friends thing on Facebook is always a big help), where they work, what things they have posted on their wall over the years etc. And somebody that is interested in me has the fabulous opportunity to read about my daily life over the last 4.4 years. That’s always fun;)
***I know exactly what I want/need/won’t live without this time around. I am not so wishy washy like I used to be. Brooke is in the picture this time around and so I try to be extremely smart about the whole dating thing.
***To go along with the above one, I state my standards pretty boldly. I didn’t used to be like that but I am sure glad I am now. For example—> “Ummm if you are going to be continuing to kiss me then you aren’t kissing other girls. If you want to kiss other girls currently, then don’t kiss me. K thanks.” I’m too old for that kind of stuff.
***There is a lot of texting. I can barely keep up with texting with my mom each day (okay, we text a ridiculous amount). Now people text a lot as part of the courting/getting to know you stage. The last time I was in the dating scene you would call each other, set up a time to go out and then talk more in person. Nothing wrong with this one, it is just different!
***There are apps on people’s cell phones were you scroll through a bunch of people and choose which people you are attracted to and want to get to know and if they feel the same about you—> you start a conversation. Tinder. I haven’t actually joined onto this train but it sure is an interesting concept. I guess I am just too afraid that I will be kidnapped or something.
***Things have changed especially when I first meet someone. Here is how the conversation goes:
“Hey, I’m ______. What’s your story?” (Okay, we usually get to this question a little later on in the conversation).
“I’m Janae. I have the greatest 2.5 year old on the planet and for my job I write a blog about running/food/randomness and get paid to post ridiculous selfies of myself every day.”
I love my life and job but it is always a little funny to see people’s reactions when I tell them about what I do. I don’t have the typical job:)
Those are the things I can think of currently but I am sure I will add to the list as I think of more and more. But yeah, things have changed over the years and I wonder what it will be like for Brooke when I finally let her date when she reaches the age of 25… kidding, kind of.
Single people—> how do you feel dating has changed over the years!?
Do you have any topics requests for a future post?
Divorced people—> how was it for you getting back into the dating scene?
Since this post has nothing to do with running—> tell me about your workout today!? I would love to hear!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma
I can’t imagine dating now with the state of social media. I would crumble, I would not do well! Since we have another snow day today my workout was yoga in my living room :)
Thanks for sharing thoughts on a personal topic, I think people will appreciate getting a glimpse into that side of your life even though it can be tough to open up about.
Janae Jove how open and honest you are about your entire process. When my ex and I broke up, it was strange to be back on the dating scenes. I felt like I learned so much about myself and my needs. I no longer relied or depended on someone to take care of me. It’s truly awesome how you put Brooke and yourself in front, you both truly deserve that.
Also that should say I love…not Jove…I guess I could start some strange blogging pet word though. ;)
Lisa @ Running Out Of Wine
I have been with my husband for 10 years and I would be so lost if I were back in the dating world. Its changed SO much! But it sounds like you have learned alot and are being really smart about your choices.
My workout today is laying on the couch watching the snow fall….and getting up to go to the kitchen every once in awhile!
Sarah @ KS Runner
Yes, dating has definitely changed! My little sister has been going on dates with people she meets from Tinder and I am always telling her to make sure they go to a public place, be careful, etc. Um…that’s pretty much the truth regardless of how you meet! But when I was dating, Tinder wasn’t a thing! She just shakes her head at me because she already knows these things (and already has parents to remind her). And the prevalence of texting now, no one calls each other!
Workout today – 5 miles and lots of foam rolling!
I can’t imagine having to try to date again!
Today’s run: we got a snow storm overnights, so I heading out to meet a girlfriend on the indoor track for lots on little laps!
Kristina @ Blog About Running
I like that you have set your standards and are firm on them. When my mom started dating after she and my dad divorced she sort of echoed what you’re saying. She knew what qualities in a guy she was looking for and while dating should be fun, she wasn’t going to play games or put up with stuff that she didn’t want to.
Today’s workout for me is just an easy run to make up for the one I missed on Tuesday! It’s been super hot here this week so I did last night’s speedwork on the ‘mill. I am looking forward to a nice hot and sweaty outdoor run today! haha
Christina – I am so jealous! Here in London we don’t have extreme winter so it’s not like I’m running in the snow, but I would cross the ocean for a hot sweaty run right now!
The shin splints post was helpful Janae! Thanks!
It’s been my experience that unless there is a set up or you’re on a dating app/site, there isn’t a ton of dating. Boys asking out are few and far between in my world. I don’t mind a whole lot because dating actually causes very real, very difficult anxiety for me but it sucks more when I’m interested in someone and they just don’t date a ton. Which then requires being bold and putting yourself out there more, which doesn’t always work out haha ahh dating. It’s a mess.
Kaella On The Run
I was with my ex husband for 8 years when we separated. Now, I’m 31 and having to start over. It’s scary. I’m also really blunt about what in want in a partner and my non-negotiables.
I also have a 2.5 year old so his needs come first.
I know you’ll find someone amazing!!
I think I’d be useless at dating now- I’m too used to the little weird things that to my SO and I are adorable, but to anyone else are completely nutso.
I have however been quite straight forward ever since breaking up with an ex when I was 20 or so; who really messed me around.
Now I’m totally straight up about what I want and what I will or wont put up with. When I met my current SO at 21, I invited him to dinner with my family and he said “Oh I don’t really meet people’s parents” and I replied “Then you don’t really date me, its your call”. He came to dinner, did absolutely great and knows them well now. I just wasn’t willing to budge on that one and I made sure he knew that.
Similarly my friends always say things like, ‘you cant text them back immediately, you have to play the game to keep them keen!’. If texting back promptly makes a guy not like you, that guy never really liked you.
This is awesome!!!
Lisa @ TechChick Adventures
Since I’ve been married for 22 years now, I guess I have to go with the non-relationship question of the day…. my question is – how do you read a book while you are running on the treadmill? Maybe you have better eyesight than me :)
I know you will find someone awesome for both you and Brooke!
Jessica @ VEGGIE RUNNING MOMMA
Ahh that would be so difficult. Sounds like you’re doi bf an amazing job though.!!! So glad you’re being bold though.!! Brooke and you deserve the best.!
Aint nobody got time for anything less than the best ;) haha
I would think that texting would get old after a while. It feels more impersonal to me. I’d rather have the face-to-face interaction.
I love your dating posts! You’re so real and honest and I really appreciate that! I would love if you did a post on different date ideas. I’m in a relationship, but we never really go out on dates anymore, so I’d love to hear some of the more original date ideas you or your guys have!
I love hearing your dating updates! I’ve been with my almost-ex-husband for 14 years (since I was 16 years old!!) It’s really daunting to think about dating again (or really, kind of for the first time), but I’m also somewhat looking forward to it. Like you, I feel like I am just over taking any crap and am going to be very assertive about what I want/need. If they don’t like it, move along. I’ve got myself and two kiddos to watch out for now. I am nervous about actually meeting people though, because like another commenter said, I feel that unless you go online, it’s really hard to meet people at our age.
I love hearing your dating updates too! Beth – I’m in the same boat…..starting the process of divorce after being married for 18.5 years. I guess I’ll have to think about what my standards really are? And I haven’t dated anyone in 22 years! How the heck do you even do this……oh jeesh!
Tara | Treble in the Kitchen
Oh my goodness I bet dating has changed!!! You are so lucky to have a great group of wonderful ladies to be around :)
Amy @ They May be Light
I’ve always thought if I had to date again I’d be better at it because I’d be more bold and know what I wanted, as you said, but at the same time it’s changed so much I’m sure I’d be completely lost.
Robyn @ Robyn's Living Life
Janae we could talk about dating ALL THE TIME. I am single (never married) and even I get exhausted from the dating scene nowadays. It can be so much more work BEFORE you actually go out with someone. What is wrong with meeting in person before you start communicating via social media all the time?! I don’t feel like being on my phone/computer every night after work!
I just stopped dating a guy I was with for about 2 months. We were never official but we went on a date about every week. His wishy-washyness drove me CRAZY and I really should have just listened to my gut about the whole time. So that is my biggest recommendation for everyone- go with your cut. If it feels off…it probably is. I think that movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” is a great reminder about the dating world!
Ahhhh I could go on and on and on….:)
You are so very correct about our gut instincts. A couple months ago, I stopped things with a guy that…the entire time, my gut told me something was off. I stuck it out for ~6 months. I kept making excuses for him…for me…trying to tell myself that it was all okay. Anyone…men or women…TRUST YOUR GUT!!! :)
haha I love this post as a fellow single gal! Especially the stalking part made me laugh! my friends and I do that all the time when we meet new people/perspective guys ;) my friends keep trying to get me to join tinder, but I’m hesitant because of all the yauchties and tourists and in and out people down here (Nassau)….but I scroll through them all on all on other friends accounts! (so I can look but not be the one kidnapped ha)
Go you! It’s so hard to date right now. On one hand, the internet makes it seem like there is this endless sea of options yet at the same time that’s not always what you want in peoples’ heads. I do think that meeting other ways is the most natural still, even though I know a lot of people who have met future partners online and are very happy!
I would love for you to post about body-image / confidence boosters, even though you do that already, it seems to me that most of my athletic girlfriends have a more intense struggle with these things than most, and it always helps to have some more insight. However, I really love all your posts, so you can choose what you like and I’ll still be psyched every morning at 8am to check it out over here in Brooklyn :)
I don’t date. I love to be single and have allllll of the time (because grading/teaching is so intensive) for writing, reading, workingout, and traveling in the summers. However, I love to hear about other people’s dating encounters.
I don’t have ideas for future posts, but regardless, I always love reading your posts and varied topics… including gummy candy and workout-attire and Brooke’s accomplishments
My workout will be either 5 miles on the treadmill or 6 miles on the elliptical with stretching, 8 minute abs (2-3 times), and then about 5-10 minutes of meditating.
Me too! I love being single and I don’t like dating. I feel like a complete crazy person that I am on my own and perfectly happy. Maybe 2% of the time I wish I had someone – travelling alone isn’t very fun. But dating is so tedious and I get bored sooo fast when meeting someone new who isn’t very interesting. And I don’t feel like I’m that interesting on a date because I don’t really want to tell my life story to a stranger.
Life is confusing :)
I went to Paris alone for 8 days last summer–it was awesome alone (even though I don’t speak French!) because I got to make all of the decisions–especially about spending money! Don’t be scared to travel alone :-)
Oh – oops, didn’t mean to say I DON’T travel alone. If you only knew :) I’m a travel star! I’ve been to Paris, London, Brussels, Grand Cayman, Puerto Rico, Arizona, Italy, all the New England states on my own. Because I love to travel and I don’t have to give work a lot of lead time. So I just GO when I want to. But often I wish I had someone to go with me.
Melissa @ Mel's Miles
Dating is a lot of work!!! That’s all I can say. I was in a 5 year relationship starting at age 19. Being single again at 24 was confusing because the last time I was single was when I was practically a kid! I went on some awful/interesting dates before I met my boyfriend. It was all so stressful for me because I wanted to have a better relationship than the other one. Like you, my standards were so much higher – and I don’t even have a child! Good luck with the dating :)
I’m single. For years I didn’t really actively seek out dating opportunities and sort of just had a “it’ll happen when it happens” attitude toward love. That led me to a short-lived, ill-fated relationship with a close friend that ended really badly, but taught me a lot about what I want and what I should and shouldn’t put up with. (I like your comment about being clear that someone shouldn’t be kissing other girls if they’re going to be kissing you.) I’ve been dating a lot more than I ever have over the past six months, and like you, I also have been finding that texting does really make things different. I personally don’t have my phone on me at all times and don’t drop everything to answer a text, but will answer as soon as I can; some guys expect you to be a lot more available than that, and some guys go the other direction and are much less quick to respond than I would like. I was talking to a friend yesterday about how it seems silly for something not to work out because of incompatible texting styles, but sometimes it really does cause frustration.
After being with my hubby for 23 years (almost married for 20 plus those dating years)I know if anything would happen between us I would not date. I would live the single life and be there for my kiddos. Granted I am older so its easier for me to say that.
You have a lot of single friends…very lucky that way….have fun and be picky….you have to be at this stage of your life.
i have either dated or been married to my husband for 20 years. If anything unfortunate happened to us, I would just go ahead and order the crazy cat lady starter kit – because my oh my – I just couldn’t keep up theses days. My hat is off to all of you that do! And rest day today for a 12 mile long run tomorrow!
So glad I’m not in the dating world. Been married to my husband for 15 years, and I am truly blessed. I don’t know how I would survive in the dating world, but it sounds like you are doing great.
I did a six mile tempo run last night, and it was tough. I just can’t seem to discipline myself to get faster. Later tonight I’ll go for six miles again, but it will be a gentle run. No pressure.
I don’t have a lot of dating experience because the two times I asked guys out, I got shot down, and the times I’ve said yes to dates, I’ve been bored out of my mind. I haven’t met a guy that I mesh with in a long time, if ever. Everyone and their dog is after me to date, but I believe in getting to know someone as friends before even thinking of them as a potential partner. Do I get lonely? Yes. But I see bad relationships around me, and am a bit gun shy of ending up like them.
Yes to all of this!!
meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles
OMG dating. Dating after divorce, especially as a single mom is just, well, insane. Isn’t that the best way to describe it? lol…I never thought I would get divorced or have to date again and since I had met my husband in college, I never really experienced the full – on dating world. Lucky me to be there now. It’s no wonder I had cake as my comfort food lunch the other day! And social media when applied to the people we meet? A topic for a whole other day.
Lindsay @ Lindsay Weighs In
I was single for so long, and I refused to lower my standards in order to just be with someone. I finally met the man of my dreams a few months ago and it was well worth the wait
Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties
I’ve been dating my bf for a little over 2 years but I can definitely see how the dating world has changed since then… I’m glad I never had to deal with tinder and stuff like that, haha! I can’t wait to see who you find that’s right for you… any guy will be SO lucky to have you and brooke!! :)
I’ve been with my husband since 1992 so can’t address the dating question BUT will tell you my parents divorced after 33 years of marriage and my mom then went on to meet and marry the love of her life :) Lucky for me (and my kids) my parents get along and everyone can hang out on holidays!
Yesterday I ran outside – it was so warm! Today is rainy and temps dropping fast so it will be treadmill and weights for me at the gym.
I’m lazy like you. But I’m also older and my kids are adults. I have used Tinder and with some common sense you can meet nice guys and NOT get kidnapped.
Overall it’s a pain in the ass.
Thanks for this post. I needed to hear this. I hope to meet you someday!
Totally random question: have you ever thought about teaching again?
this was a fun post to read! i think a lot about the whole dating scene — which is certainly a world of its own in NYC, or a whirlwind, should i say?? — because i’ve always been the date-around, mostly-single, not-wanting-a-relationship girl who actually finds dating FUN and loves meeting new people. i tend to get freaked about dating just one person and settling down…so i’m probably too used to the “games” and not taking it as seriously as i should. i love that you’re totally being open about what you will and won’t tolerate right from the get-go. that’s awesome.
Marissa @ Run Riss Run
I vividly remember the scheduled conversations that the hubs and I would have to set up so that we could talk, and the letters. Oh, the letters :)
I did boot camp this morning :) I gotta stay somewhat off the foot and thankfully they are working with me.
I love this. Have you gone on running dates ever?
Janae, I thought you were seeing ‘the boy’ though? Or did I miss something?
I have been on again off again dating for a year now and I change my thoughts on it monthly haha I’m on a tight schedule and Crossfit is my passion (which always seems to come first these days) but whatever! I’m 26..lots of time
Workout – Crossfit, 4-miles HIIT run, 1-mile incline walk
Great post! Good for you, Janae. I know you didn’t want to be back in the dating scene but you have such an awesome attitude.
I met my husband 21 years ago and we are coming up on our 16 year anniversary. I never even wanted to be married until I met Rick — then I figured he was cool enough to walk through life with. That being said, if anything happened and we were not together anymore, I think I would be “out of the game”. One and done. I just feel so blessed with our relationship and how much he loves and supports me that I would just not even look to find that again.
My workout was a 1.25 mile swim. Bliss.
Laura @ This Runner's Recipes
Social media really does make dating so different! So much dating I did in college was casual and over social media, and now that’s the world my sister’s in. My husband and I have been together for four years, and he was one of the few guys who courted me over more than just texting/facebook messaging. You have such great standards and perspective when it comes to dating!
Today’s workout: 4 easy miles on the treadmill, Pilates, and some stability work!
Janae- I highly recommend Tinder! I met my boyfriend on it a little over a year ago and now we are living together…..he is seriously the sweetest, most considerate & wonderful person – I promise there are good ones on that app!!!! He’s a keeper for sure!!!!!:)
I’ve never actually been on a date, but I will say that texting is definitely the way people seem to get to know each other nowadays. But I prefer to get to know people in person. A lot of people try to tell me that I should date a runner, but I really don’t want to do that. Running is my thing, and I’d rather date someone with other interests and who plays different sports.
I think social media has made it easier to find out information about people, but you never really know how genuine a person is until you actually spend time with him.
Kristen @ Glitter and Dust
If most of the guys you date know about the blog, has a guy ever tried to reach out to you for a date through the blog? Hey, at least any guy that dates you has a genuine idea of who you are from the blog. ☺
Dating is definitely different with all of the social media outlets and ways to instantly connect. I can’t even remember what it was like before we had fancy cellphones and Facebook.
Have you ever thought about going on the Bachelor? ;)
Livi @ Eat, Pray, Work It Out
Great insight hah! I am just a baby in the dating world but it’s interesting to hear the ways it’s changing!
Thank you so much for posting this. I totally agree with your impressions and am glad to hear I’m not the only one that finds it challenging! You have a lot to offer and the right person for you will come when you least expect it (that’s what my mom always tells me!).
Natalie @ Never Serious Blog
Oh dating. If I was thrown back in the dating world I have no idea what I’d do, I definitely feel out of touch with the way things work now! Can be tough for sure.
We got FIVE INCHES of snow today here in Texas! Justa little randomness for ya ;)
YAY! I love this post. Great #TBT picture :)
I find dating so interested so I like reading about people’s experiences.
Oh my gosh I totally agree with all of this! Thanks for being so open and honest with us, Janae! Dating is so different than when my parents dated back in the day, and like you said, it’ll keep on changing! I hope we can master how it is right now ;)
As for a workout, I think I’m going to do an LSD run (that always makes it sound like I’m talking about drugs…. no way – just a runners high for me!). I did cross fit for the first time yesterday so my body is sore in places I didn’t know existed. A long, slow run is definitely what I need!
Hope you have a great day!!
The single biggest problem I ran into after my divorce is the whole concept of trust. Not that my ex did anything to hurt me, it’s not like that. I just mean it’s so difficult to trust in the longevity of a relationship and so my knee jerk reaction is to keep emotional walls up and cocoon myself, not just on the couch watching Netflix and eating apple fritters but when I’m actually WITH people, it’s hard for me to be really with them. To be vulnerable, let my guard down, let them love me, and see me for me, and then to love them back for the intrinsic reason of simply loving someone without worrying about wasting my love and breaking my heart over something that will eventually end.
So funny about the ‘stalking’!!! I agree with you, having your ‘Must Haves’ in dating is a MUST. Know what you want/need in a partner and if it’s really important to you don’t compromise on it. Also, being completely honest up front and not putting on an act is so important bc if you’re acting you’re just wasting each other’s time — it so funny how we learn this as we get older :)
Dating after divorce? I was married/with my ex for 21 years when we divorced. I couldn’t even tell when someone was interested my radar was completely broken. Met my current husband (a keeper for sure) completely by random. Best day of my life (next to the birth pf my gorgeous smart and generous daughters that is)
I was with my ex husband for 10 years, from when I was 19 years old. The last time I dated I was a freshmen in college…. so dating is super weird to me. I started it about 10 months ago, and so far, not so great. But I learned a lot from it and think it was good practice to start dating again once I am ready. Right now, my mind just wants me to not date again ever. I am so happy with dating myself. Although I am sure that won’t last once I find someone I actually like.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
I love this post!
I dated my husband since I was 19. I’m now 24 and married. I’d say about half of my friends are still single and loving the dating scene. I feel too lazy/old. haha I never really liked dating, where as now I love being married, if that makes any sense.
sally @ sweat out the small stuff
sally @ sweat out the small stuff
for whatever reason my post gives an error of “bang bang”. I’ll try one more time:
So I was widowed really young (I was 25 and I’m now 41). I spent many years alone and then mostly set ups with people who weren’t right for me. Eventually I did meet some great ones but we were better suited as friends. Finally last year I met an amazing man. We met online BUT it was such a traditional courtship. We never texted. We didn’t even speak on the phone. We would always have an email exchange of questions and answers. We went out once every two weeks on real good old fashioned dates. He didn’t kiss me until date 9 and many weeks had gone by. We’re now a full fledged couple. I cannot tell you how happy I feel to have met someone at this stage of my life yet have it happen so organically and not forced….even with it being an initial online scenario. No matter what the “trend” is stick to what you feel is best. =)
Wow, this hits home for me, too. I’m 50, divorced for 4 years, was married for 24 years. The last date I went on was in high school! I just recently went on my first coffee date. Did the whole thing: first coffee date, first dinner date, first longer date and then I decided to stop there. He was a nice guy…..but no fun. And that’s important to me. I think I’ve learned that it’s ok not to settle, it’s ok to be clear about what you are looking for. And I’m perfectly happy on my own as well. Big lessons for me!
Dating has definitely changed…for better or worse, I think kind of hard to say. I am also a fellow single mom. I feel that when you have another person to think about it can definitely change your “standards”. For a long time, I have felt that I want to be able to pretty freely just put it out there when meeting someone as to what I need/want in a relationship. Of course, then you get into the rules of “don’t say ‘x’ too soon or they might run”. Well…I have/had also always felt that if a guy was scared off too early on because I was being upfront with what I wanted (i.e. – no games, I do not date more than one a time, etc) then they were not the one for me. My now boyfriend, I have been very upfront from the beginning…it was made easier that he was very open about his desires/needs and very receptive to my thoughts. My feeling is this…KNOW YOUR VALUE, KNOW YOUR WORTH…and obviously NEVER SETTLE. Be open, be honest. Know what thoughts/attitudes/quirks are absolute deal breakers.
As for a workout…hitting up the gym today to lift some weights. Last few weeks have been a little off with my schedule, so I have not lifted in about 2 1/2 weeks. UGH! I am sure I will feel it tomorrow. :)
kristin | W [H] A T C H
apple fritters and netflix is basically the greatest combination ever.
I have the same situation.. Divorced for 4 years ( dated and married to my ex for 10 years).. i have found that when i was ready to get back into dating i was VERY direct about my expectations and what i would and wouldn’t put up with. I , like you, said i was too old to deal with games this time around and i have 6 yr old twins involved now.
Happy to say i did meet a GREAT guy that treats me like a queen and loves my kids like they were his own ( and they are crazy about him) and we have been together 2 1/2 years and talking about taking that next step. :-)
You and Brooke deserve of every bit of happiness that this world has to offer… don’t settle for anything less! Your guy is out there.. sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince ;)
PS- I would love more recipe posts! Even if it’s your latest sweet potato creation :) I’m always looking for quick things to throw together for snacks, lunch or dinner when I don’t have the time to make something with a ton of ingredients.
I was very lucky that when my ex and I divorced I had a very wonderful friend that was always there to make me laugh, help me work through my feelings, and make me feel special. He’s now my second and forever husband. So, I kinda didn’t really end up dating. If something happened to him, I don’t think dating would be in my future. He set the bar way too high.
Skipping the running today in favor of yoga. After battling the stomach flu earlier this week, it just seems like the right thing to do.
Victoria @ Smiles 'n' Snuggles
A topic for a future post – your running fashion! You always have the coolest looking running clothes (and comfy clothes). I’d love to know more about some of the outfits!
No running today. Went yesterday. We have parent and tot swimming tonight so I’ll get my workout from that!
Hahah so true
Wow Brooke’s lucky ur so lenient —- my daughter might be allowed to date at 45 ;-)
Courtney! @ Redefining Athlete
I am so thankful every single day that I didn’t have Tinder in college and that I didn’t have YouTube (or rather the ability to make YouTube videos) in high school.
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West
I guess the hard part would also come in the dating scene when it seems like someone KNOWS you so well, but actually they have just read things from your life online and are using that. Tough stuff. But you know what you want, so just keep having fun! Oh, what about Tinder? Have you used that hahahah! :)
I’m so glad you wrote this post! I’m in my 30s and ALL of my friends, family, relatives etc are married with kids. Dating at this age is hard and frustrating! But I like what you said about knowing what you want and sticking to it. I tried Tinder and wasn’t really a fan but that’s just my experience. I don’t really like internet dating as a whole. I prefer meeting people through other people IRL. Loved this post and love you :)
Erin @ Erin's Inside Job
Thanks for sharing! I was in a lot of relationships before my marriage and one thing that was common in all of them was that I had no idea who I was and instead pretended to be whatever they wanted me to be. None of them lasted and none of them were healthy. After I got into recovery I started to learn about who I was as a person and MY wants/needs. It is an ongoing process, but it makes my marriage that much more rewarding to stand up for myself and be my own person.
I did a 4 mile tempo run on the treadmill today. I do 3 days of HIIT classes and now am trying to get in 2 days of running since race season is approaching. I’m struggling on the treadmill, but hopefully it will warm up soon and I can get outside!
Dating right now, how scary. Dating as a single mom. How scary. Dating when you’re a public blogger, how scary.
Venture carefully and I suppose church ups your odds a smidge of not getting a complete jerk.
I can’t imagine. The last time I dated I was in high school. My youngest kid is graduating in a few months. So…yeah. It’s been a while, things might be different. ;)
Amanda K! Love that girl.
This was a super fun read. I wish you could share more stories but I understand why you don’t. Hope you will share more on this topic moving forward!
These days, with women being capable of taking care of themselves, paying our own bills, fixing things around the house, etc…doing all these things that generally and stereotypically are considered a man’s duties….I think it makes dating more difficult. I’m not saying women shouldn’t take care of themselves, HECK YES WE SHOULD! *girl power all the way*….however, dudes don’t seem to know how to handle us anymore. Do they open the door for us? when clearly a woman is capable of opening the door and holding it for people (I hold doors open for people everyday, no matter if they are male or female) Does the guy automatically pay for the first meal? (even though the woman may make a lot more $$$ than him)…….so many ‘little’ things……women are finally comfortable & capable of holding their own……I think men are super confused at how to approach us and the whole ‘dating’ thing.
Side note…I was asked on my very first, real life date a few weeks back…….sitting on my couch on a typical Saturday night, attempting not to fall asleep at 7pm and suddenly my phone rings. I assume it’s my mom or dad, cause after all, who else really calls me? Much to my surprise, it was a guy, CALLING ME to ask me on a date. I was shocked. Shocked because I was being asked on my first legit date and shocked because the guy CALLED and didn’t text me. Years ago a phone call would be totally normal…these days though…..not so much. Or maybe I’ve just been interested in the wrong men all my life…..very possible :)
Oh, Tinder… I wouldn’t go as far as calling it a “dating” app, but it definitely would have been convenient if it had been around when I was single. Although it would have probably just led to more disappointment at that young naive age haha.
I learned sooo much from my 3 year long relationship with my ex. It helped me realize that my current BF is exactly what I wanted and needed :)
Snow day today so I may not make it out to the gym/out of the house period!
Daisy @ Fit Wanderlust Runner
I can’t imagine dating right now. I thought it was daunting six years ago When I was going through a breakup. Some how I came out of it and now happily married. I thought you were pre4serious with the CA guy?
Dating is definitely changing drastically. While we weren’t married yet, I called off a wedding last year and ended the relationship. Getting back into the dating scene was/is hard. But, I’m with you on the fact that I know more about what I want now and am more open and blunt about it. I think that helps a bit with the dating because I kind of know sooner if I think something will work or not (or is worth pursuing). Either way though, good for getting yourself out there and don’t settle- you will find someone right for you (and Brooke).
Amy @ Life to the Full
I feel totally out of the loop with the dating world! My husband and I are newlywed-ish, coming up on 3 years now, but it’s like my brain has been erased from my past dating experiences. Probably because, before meeting my husband, I dated some not-winners… Thank God my husband and I ran into each other because I just wasn’t good at picking nice guys to date myself!
Future Post Topic: How you balance marathoning and motherhood! Balancing training with a two-year-old (and another on the way) is a constant learning experience to me. I’m always excited to hear how other moms do it!
Kay @ goaloflosing.com
Good for you for knowing what you want and going after it! Best of luck in the “new age” dating world! You deserve the best!
I’m 29 and got divorced a few years back. And dating sure does feel different–or maybe more than anything–I’m different. I totally know what you mean when you say you know exactly what you want and what you don’t want. I don’t play games anymore. I feel like I’m too old and too clear-sighted for that now :)
Keep chugging along! There are amazing things ahead of you!
Topic request: I would love for you to blog about your religion. I totally respect that you don’t want to discuss your beliefs in detail, but I think it would be really interesting if you responded to some of the stereotypes about Mormonism. It seems a little cultish to me but that is probably based on pure ignorance. Can you drink coffee? Can you date non-Mormons? Is divorce accepted? Is it a sexist/homophobic religion? I am so curious.
Rachel @ Blonde with a Chanse
I got married a little over 2.5 years ago, and I feel like things have changed since then even! Way to be straight forward about yourself and what you want though. I think that is so awesome!
Debbie @ Deb Runs
Since I’m not single, I’ll talk about running! But first, good for you for knowing what you want, and not accepting anything less; AND for always putting Brooke first. :-)
Because of the impending snow storm, I met a friend to run at 5:30 this morning before the storm hit. The temperature dropped 4° while we were running and the precipitation changed from rain, to sleet, to snow. It’s snowed hard all day so I was so glad to get my run finished outside, and not have to run on the treadmill!
CPK birthday celebration! We had so many! That picture just made me so happy.
Kate @ www.socalrunnergal.com
Dating can definitely be exhausting and I am SO with you! A life of netflix and food is good for me. Sometimes I think that is enough…. haha!
You are amazing! Devoted mom who’s fun/smart/spiritual/creative/super fast/athletic/Independent…Some man will snatch you up! Good for you for knowing what you want and never lowering your standards, Brooke will thank you one day!
Topic request– what to do to get out of a running rut. Personally, I sometime feel a bit stuck with my speed and ‘physique’ (such as it is). Since I’ve been running for many years my body’s pretty used to that kind of effort and I feel like it can be really tough to loose a few pounds.
You’re amazing and will find the most perfect guy for you! I love reading your blog and REALLY miss you being my spin instructor- you are the best I’ve ever had!!
Becky @ Ok, so here's the plan
It’s been a few years since I was on the dating scene. I don’t miss it.
My run today was 6 miles, with 4 at tempo, followed by an ice bath that tried to kill me – SO cold!
Anne @ CandyCrazedrun.com
Thank you so much for this post!
I love how you point out how much friggin time and energy it takes! Honestly, there are SO many times I just want to sit on my couch with E News and a yummy dinner. Of course if I actually want to do that WITH someone (who hopefully puts up with E News) I’ve just got to get over it.
And the texting – ohhhh the texting! I am not a big texter and it’s so much to keep up with haha.
I haven’t dated at all since my Mr. 7 was born, so I can’t even imagine. I have no idea how I would even start.
Loved this post! It was really fun to read about how your standards have changed since being in college vs now. In college I would totally just take cues from the guys I was dating (oh, you kiss multiple people, ok. . uhhh i guess i am good with that too?) and now as an older person I have no issues just telling people what I am and am not okay with. Loved hearing that in this post! PS Your hair looks great as always!
Dating is hard. I don’t envy you. It’s great that you have a big group of girls for support, though.
Do you have any topics requests for a future post?
*Only if you don’t mind, I would like posts about your ED (or more specifically, about your recovery). I totally understand if that is off limits, I know it’s personal. I have issues with food, though, and would benefit from knowing how you recovered, what helped you (or what still helps you) not just with eating but with self-acceptance, with crappy runs and the days you feel ‘fat’ or bloated, stuff like that.
Divorced people—> how was it for you getting back into the dating scene?
Since this post has nothing to do with running—> tell me about your workout today!? I would love to hear!
I ran 5k this morning, slow because I wasn’t feeling well. It was a “just in case” workout because the friend I was planning to run with in the evening sometimes flakes on me. She flaked! But I went ahead and did 2 more miles tonight. Feeling pretty good. Looking forward to tomorrow, it’s yoga day.
what an awesome post! this is all so me (aside from the divorce and child); dating is hard! and i agree, can certainly be rewarding, but sometimes a book and netflix is truly all i want, and i’m a little TOO content with it. i think its really fantastic how open you are and how willing you are to put in some effort, whereas i’m pretty apathetic to it all; if things happen, great. if not, oh well. but time keeps passing and ugh, i should really put myself out there more.
anywho, i really admire you, and your blog continues to be so inspirational. keep up the great work!
ps–tinder is absurd, but kinda fun, too :)
Amanda B @ Cupcakes & Miles
I’ve always had long relationships, and never really went through the whole dating scene, so it’s cool living vicariously through you! ;)
I’m 24, and my boyfriend and I have been dating for over 8 years. We were just 15/16 when we started dating, and even since then times have changed. If we were to ever break up, I’d be screwed because I wouldn’t know how to date! Kudos to you.
You should check out this blog- Tinderella NYC http://tinderellanyc.com/ she documents her hilarious dating failures from Tinder!!
Cait the Arty Runnerchick
okay, so I’m sorry because my subscriber reading list is behind a day behind but read this and HAD to come back to comment on THIS:
“I guess if I find a guy that wants to live the apple fritter/netflix dream with me then I am set”
right there…nailed it.
While I won’t be dating anytime soon since my husband and I just separated and we have a 5 month old daughter, when I think about it I feel sort of free. I felt before like I HAD to date and HAD to get married and this time around will be so different. I’ve been through all that now. Not to say I didn’t want to marry my husband and that I don’t love him but I rushed into marriage because I wanted to be married. This time I want to find the right person for me and there is no pressures or timeline. It’s freeing. Also the thought terrifies me right now so I’ll just be on my sofa with my baby watching girly TV shows for a while ;-)
I’m in the divorced group and was the same age as you when I divorced… I think (27). It was really weird getting back out there but I share a lot of the same sentiment you shared. I know exactly what I want now! I have now been in a 3 year relationship with a great guy and although I’m still really scared to move forward we are both happy just being together and being happy!
Thanks for this post! I am slowly becoming one of the few single friends in my core group of friends, not easy but still hoping it works out!
Tricia @ A Couple of Dashes
I love this! Thanks so much for sharing! I’m single too, and find the whole dating scene to be a little crazy. It seems like people are more reluctant to get serious and commit these days, which is so not okay with me!
Are you still dating the boy from CA who likes to run?