How my view of health has changed…

(Tank, bra, shoes)

A run with my friend Maddie… (and a picture a few hours later:)

And then I went over to my sister’s house to do some youtube yoga (Adriene is my favorite) but Beck was not into that idea.  So I talked to my sister while she worked out and had Beck climb all over me while we were there.

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Preschool drop-off!

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You know life has felt a little crazy lately when you are looking forward to a teeth cleaning so you can just sit and relax for a bit with this view.

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When I picked Skye up from school she told me that they talked about Paw Patrol in class so she was thrilled about how her day went.  She also got a stamp which was a big deal.

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It was a fresh salsa with ingredients from my friend’s garden kind of a day…

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My niece asked if I wanted to go shopping with her and that was an easy yes (I told myself she invited me because I’m cool, not because she needed a ride;)

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We got back to my sister’s house at the perfect time ha… she invited us in for dinner.  She doesn’t really use recipes when she cooks and she can always put together the most beautiful dishes.

Everything but the noodles and chicken were from her garden!

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Saw this guy out running after his shift… that is dedication.

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Just a picture of me and Skye at one of my favorite restaurants—> Aubergine.  Their curry and rice bowl is straight from heaven.

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Today I just wanted to talk about how my perspective of how I eat and move has changed!

Years ago, pretty much every move I made and every food that entered my body was based on calories.  It didn’t matter how the food I ate made me feel or if I even really enjoyed the taste of something… I was eating it because it was either low-calorie or bulked up with vegetables to make me feel full so I didn’t have to eat again for a while.  Years ago I did not work out with the thoughts of things like keeping my heart healthy or my bones strong, or my muscles active as I age (aka things I think about now a lot to motivate myself to exercise).  It was mostly about losing weight along with my need for endorphins.

I feel like so many of my decisions with food now are based on how it makes me feel.  I want to feel full of energy and alert.  I want to not feel like I am dragging all day long because I haven’t eaten enough calories or nutrients.  There are many times that I am just grabbing whatever is in front of me because I’m busy with kids, but I love thinking about how a meal will make me feel, not how many calories it contains.

My soul needs the joy of eating cake at the kitchen table with my mom (yesterday’s post:) or going for ice cream with my kids and seeing it all over their faces when they are done eating.  I want to exercise for how it makes me feel and for the running goals I have set up for myself, not to make up for anything I ate like I used to.  Holy cow, it scared me a few months ago when my left arm felt numb and tingly (due to some disc problems in my neck), and that is why I want to lift now so that I can be running around with my great-grandkids and hiking/running mountains with Andrew for as long as possible.

Long story short, I hope my past can give anyone reading some hope that struggles with disordered eating/eating disorders!  I’m not sure if you have seen pictures from my past, but I was not in a healthy place.  My femurs were cracking, my reproductive system was out of order, and my brain was so preoccupied with every calorie count on the planet.  It took years of work, a lot of therapy, healthier relationships, and for me, some little kids that I knew I needed to be an excellent example for… but it happened and it has been life-changing.

I make my food decision based on what my body needs and wants and how I know it will make me feel (WE NEED ENERGY AND A LOT OF IT) and I would love to hear where you are at these days!

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How has your view of health changed over the years?

Do you like going to the dentist or dread it?  Do you like your dentist?

Chunky salsa or more pureed salsa?

Do you use recipes when cooking or no?

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33 comments

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I went to the dentist earlier this week and thought the SAME THING — haha :)

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Haha I’m glad you got to go to the dentist too? Soooo relaxing ha! Have a great day, Betsy!

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I dread the dentist but only because I have bad teeth lol. Years ago, my dentist was like yeah you just have bad teeth genetically but I can tell you take care of them so I guess it’s a compliment? Ha.

I do use recipes if it’s something I’ve never made before! But then I’ll make tweaks to it going forward. Recipes to me are more suggestions since if I realize I don’t have a certain spice I might just sub something in and it’ll be good. Baking I 100% use recipes exactly as written

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Haha definitely a compliment! I’m sorry about the bad teeth genetics though… I have the same problem! I love that you add tweaks to the things you make and that you can adjust according to what you have. Teach me how to do that! Have a beautiful day, friend:)

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That’s so great to hear how your perspective has changed and how much healthier you are now! I used to focus on calories and losing weight too much too. I still don’t weight myself because knowing that number makes me assign a good or bad value to myself or to that day based on a random number. But my running is so much better without being tired and injured all the time. I’m also happier in general focusing on things other than weight!

I like going to the dentist, and I really like my dentist and hygienist. Clean teeth are the best haha.

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Mariah, I am SO happy to hear about where you are at with food/weight too! I agree, I just don’t need a scale in my life ha:) There is so much more to life than weight and looks… it’s the least interesting thing about us:). I seriously love that feeling after a teeth cleaning so so much. Hope you are having a great morning!

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Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Those periods of intense pain sure do give us wonderful perspective. I’m so glad you’ve been able to work through that pain and make something beautiful out of it.
“It’s with lasting love that I’m tenderly caring for you… I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.” -Isaiah 54

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Hey friend! Thank you so much for sharing that scripture with me. It is beautiful and speaks so much truth! You get it! Hope your day is a wonderful one.

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My relationship with food is still a work in progress (and I’m 55) but I agree with everything you said! My viewpoint has changed, but it can be hard to let go of old habits. Thanks for posting about this!
I think I would go to the dentist a lot more often if mine had a view like that.

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Hey Jenny! Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I appreciate you and you are doing amazing! We are all a work in progress and we’ll all keep cheering each other along. Have a beautiful day!

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Great post!!
I too, used to be so concerned with making sure I was burning more calories than I ate, concerned with the fat content in everything, and didn’t actually enjoy eating. It was after having the boys and feeling comfortable with myself, that I discovered I actually like food, and love cooking! We eat pretty healthy around here, but there are chips in the pantry, I bake cookies, etc. Life is about balance and doing what is best for you.
So good Janae!!
We love our dentist. We don’t have a view like that, but I love the dental chair and an hour of just sitting.
I realized that my day was so busy, and started really early, I didn’t read your blog… I’m going to go do that now ?
Have a wonderful day!

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Thank you so much Wendy! I am so so glad you are past those days too. Finding joy in food is just the best! I think you do an incredible job with balance and I’m so impressed by you. It really is just so nice to just sit every now and then haha. Thank you friend, I hope you do too!

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What a powerful post and beautiful in its vulnerability. This is one of the reasons that i have coffee with you every morning. (This is not a date you know about, just me :)). I feel like I am catching up with a mom friend – so thank you for finding ways to monetize and keep this as your job, even as i am sure that pressure is more and more to sell out.

As I have gotten older, I have noticed how much better I feel when I eat a home-prepared meal than a store-bought or fast food meal. It isn’t always possible to make a home cooked meal packed with veggies, but with good planning, we make it happen almost every night. (Plus, we can’t afford to eat out with 4 growing sons!)

My husband is an awesome cook and he does a great job of finding simple, healthy-ish, meals that he can make for us that will fill up the boys and introduce them to new foods. Eating out is a novelty to my kiddos and I want to try to keep it that way as much as possible. They get a Costco pizza when we have date night or a burger if we are out running errands, but we are pretty serious about sitting down at our table and having daily conversations.

All this to say that my relationship to food has matured as I have. I still think about calories, but i think more about gut health, fiber, fewer complicated ingredients -and this makes me feel like a million bucks.

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I am SO grateful I get to join you for your coffee in the morning and I am so happy I know about it now. Thank you thank you for those kind words, they mean a lot. Isn’t it just the best to eat according to the way it makes us feel! I cannot imagine your food bill with four boys! My running partner has four growing boys and she told me the other day how much it costs for them to all go out to Shake Shack and I almost cried! You are doing an amazing job with your boys and you are a great example to me. I agree with you and the importance of sitting together to eat dinner! “My relationship to food has matured as I have.” AMEN! Thank you for sharing and I hope your day is a beautiful one, Emily!

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My 3.5 year old went to the dentist for the first time this week (I was trying to wait out Covid) and she loved it. Hoping she keeps that attitude for a long time.

I am also in a much different place with food and exercise. I eat to be healthy, to prevent heart disease that runs in my family, to fuel my workouts, and to enjoy my life. I exercise for the same reasons. Not to lose weight, to take up less space, to look a certain way. I still have aesthetic goals and I think that’s ok, but they don’t drive my behavior and rule my mind.

I also want to set a good example for my girls. I want them to love their bodies for all they can do. I want them to want to eat healthy and exercise to enjoy life. I want them to take up as much space as they want to, with their healthy bodies and with their confidence.

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YAY for your little one loving the dentist, mine still do too so let’s hope they all stick with it! THANK YOU for sharing that with me and I agree that some aesthetic goals are great too in healthy doses. “NOT TO TAKE UP LESS SPACE” <-- so so much truth. You are an amazing example to your girls, they are so lucky to have you! Happy Wednesday, Megan!

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I love your reply and couldn’t agree with it more. I like that you said “I still have aesthetic goals and I think that’s ok, but they don’t drive my behavior and rule my mind”, I agree that having a healthy relationship with food and exercise AND having aesthetic goals can co-exist. I feel like I’m in that space now, I don’t care about my weight or calories but love going to the gym and seeing some muscles appear!

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Oh wow, girl ,you hit the nail on the head with this post. It’s like you know my life story! Definite similarities, with a couple of small differences – but that struggle is long and hard and oh so worth it in the end! My eating is now 100% fuel for a strong body + enjoyment. I cannot make myself eat something that I don’t really, truly want anymore (which is a good thing). You have to live life to fullest and enjoy it! And yes, I want to run strong well into my 80s and beyond!!

I HATE going to the dentist so much. But I actually really love my dentist/hygienist. I blame it on a couple of really awful experiences with other dentists. That being said, I love leaving with super clean teeth!

Chunky salsa ftw ?

I have to use a recipe when I cook, otherwise nobody would want to eat it Lol, myself included ?

Have a great day, Janae!!

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Thank you so much Annemarie, that means a lot. The struggle really is so so worth it. Seriously, sometimes I’ll see food at the grocery store that I used to eat and think that nobody could PAY me to eat that stuff again ha. You are doing amazing and we are going to crush it when we are running in our 80s. I hope you get some chunky salsa soon and I’m right there with you on needing to follow the recipe haha. YOU TOO!

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For me health means my body is strong enough to the me on the adventures I love. I care more about what my body can do then what it looks like! Once a few years back my car died..and my friend jokingly said who needs a car when you have legs that can carry you 50km?. It also means taking time out of the day before the day starts if possible even if it’s only 10 minutes for me to find a few minutes of peace lol.

I just ended my morning run with a coffee and sprinkled donut because donuts.

I used to obsessively count calories and there were days I ate just 3 bagels because low fat. I think about some of the crazy stuff I did and thinky why?? Running ans sport definitely changed the way I looked at myself for the better. I found goals to focus on rather than obsessing about how I looked.

Thanks for sharing this post Janae!

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Kristine, I love your definition of health and I totally agree. Hahah yeah, you definitely don’t need a car! Your adventures are seriously the best. SO glad you had that donut and coffee this morning. I ask myself WHY all of the time too. I love hearing that running helped you get to this beautiful place. Running is just the best. Have a really great day, Kristine!

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I love everything about your post and eating to have enough energy and to be a good example to your kids. I hope there are many girls and women and even guys that read this and realize there is more to life than obsessing about food. I struggled for many years and ate the bare minimum, but I wanted to have kids with my husband and had to start eating more to get my period back! There are still days I wish I had my smaller body back but it just isn’t worth it and it controlled my life too much. I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant, and I would never want my son to hear me talk negatively about my body or think that eating certain things is off limits. I think at some point you just have to decide that living life and being present with family is way more important than what we weigh. <3

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Danielle, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PREGNANCY! I hope you are feeling well and your little man is already the luckiest to have you as his mom. Living life > obsessing about food! AMEN. Have the best day and keep me updated with your pregnancy!

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My relationship with food has changed so much through out the years. I had an eating disorder and then I have had times of relapse. I was in a great place and then a few years ago had some really tough stomach issues. Everything I ate upset my stomach, gave me pain or made me nauseous. I talked to my doctor but didn’t really have results so I just started cutting out food. I lost so much weight and realized I was right back in eating disorder thoughts. Apparently restricting food can lead to your brain wanting to restrict more and can lead to all sorts of mental health things! I can not eat dairy and I did figure that out into all of it, it even creates malabsorption and inflammation issues for me. This was all figured out around the start of the pandemic and that was the best timing honestly, I gained the weight and no one saw me and no one commented (you know how that goes with everyone meaning well but saying “wow you look good now, etc”). I eat a lot so I can run and so I can stay health and I strength train. I intentionally make sure I have fat at meals and lots of calories! I have IBS and it’s severe so I literally panic when I have weeks in which eating is hard. Don’t get me wrong, the thoughts are still there but being healthy is the priority.

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Carrie, I am SO happy to read about how much your relationship with food has changed. You have come so so far. I can totally see how that relapse happened, restricting food would definitely bring it back for me. Seriously, that timing was perfect and I think we just need to get rid of commenting altogether on anyone’s body even if it is ‘nice.’ You are doing amazing! Keep me updated on it all.

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Do not underestimate how much your kids love you eating like and with them!! My mom did not participate in the road trip food, the desserts, bread basket etc. and I don’t know why that bothered me as a kid. As an adult, I could see and understand her perspective better, but I told myself I did not want my kid to feel the way I felt as a kid. Honestly, it never was even a hard choice, just what I knew was right for me to be as a mom………or maybe by the time I was a mom I was through some of that food control. (I get it, in the heart of it, it is not easy.)

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Wow. This hit me hard. I can see how that must have been hard as a kid to not be enjoying those yummy things together with your mom. Hope is so lucky to have you doing these things with her! I’ll keep doing that with my kids too!

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In my house, kids yoga on YouTube is a huge hit! There are themed ones, too, that really work for both little girls (my 5 yr old) and older girls (me)!

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Hi Janae! What a wonderfully open and genuine post. ALL of yours are, so that comment is really about the honest way you approached this particular topic (which can be touchy). Hope that makes sense.
I have had to realize that to experience robust health at every age, as I grow older, I cannot eat whatever, whenever. Those days are gone with my youth – lol! I need to focus on nutrition for overall wellness, strength, and stamina. I am so happy that you have made adjustments in your personal approach to best support your own “best being”.
I don’t mind the dentist at all and credit it to my mother’s starting to take us regularly when we were quite young. I have had some challenging procedures done over the years and still don’t mind going. Unfortunately, I need to find a new one now, which can be a little tricky with COVID still looming.
I am “team chunky” when it comes to salsa! When I cook, I always follow a recipe the first time I make something. From there, I make adjustments based on preferences. Baking requires more exact following, but even then, I have been known to make a few tweaks here and there :o) Have the best day!

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i love this janae! what a beautiful message of hope that a shift can happen with how we view food & our bodies. LOVE YOU!

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What a great post. I had an eating disorder in high school (many moons ago). I have been open and honest about especially with my 2 daughters. My youngest came to me this summer concerned bc of unexplained weight lose. She did not like how she felt, run down, lack of strength….after bloodwork and talking with physician we figured her body is settling where it needs to be. She is doing better since she pays attention to what she is eating. We have figured about how we feel if we miss our veggies and fruits. She packed fruit to take to school and tennis meets.

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It must have been so difficult for you as a child to not be able to enjoy those delicious foods with your mom. I’m so glad that Hope has you in her life to share those experiences with. I’ll make sure to do the same with my kids.

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