Never in my life + ONE DONE!

Bo Peep…..HAHAHAHAHAHA. I cannot even tell you the amount of times I’ve found toys attached to me (usually in pockets though lol) or stickers all over me that I’m unaware of until I’ve been in public.
That sounds like a TOUGH workout!! I miss hill running so so so much. It makes you so strong!
We’re supposed to go to Branson, MO this summer. I’ve never been and it seems incredibly random. It’s my husband’s side of the family and none of them live in MO. I really don’t know who came up with this lol. Maybe there will be some hills for me to run on. :)
Have a great day!

Oh I love hills (though in the middle of running them, I usually question my sanity). But I can usually get more pumped for a hill workout over speed intervals any day.

I want to move to Utah! (no joke) Although…the recent weather has given me a little pause. :)

I actually do not like to travel much during the summer because everything is so busy. My husband and I do not have kids, so we do have the flexibility the travel in the off seasons. But we did just plan an early September hiking trip to Colorado and anymore I consider early Sept part of summer.

Happy Thursday and enjoy the family getaway!

That question of where I want to live long-term has been on my heart for a VERY long time now. I’m stuck in my thoughts and indecision about it, too–if it were entirely up to me and I were a one-woman show, I would live in Louisville or Kansas City in a heartbeat. They might not sound like the most exciting or glamorous places, but they’re the kind of smaller cities that just speak to my heart in a big way–big focus on neighborhoods with their own identity and culture, kind of a grassroots/upstart mentality amongst the younger and more vibrant people who live there, many opportunities to involve myself in literary communities and STILL have lots of outlets for the part of me that loves yoga/gym/fitness(/running when I feel strong enough and stable enough in my joints to get back to it). (NOTE: Louisville, however, doesn’t really have any gyms where I can teach my Les Mills classes…which is the ONLY notch against living there for me…)

BUT, life isn’t just me and it isn’t just a one-woman show. I have Tom, and my vision has shifted to places where our life can be possible and where we can keep on building our world and feel safe, comfortable, and easy in the bubble we build. Atlanta is totally fine–there’s a LOT I have come to love in the almost-five years we have lived here, and I have made some casual friends along the way. But in these five years, it hasn’t really come to feel like home to me. And over the last couple of years as I have started to educate myself on how to navigate a city that has a big problem with human trafficking/sex trafficking/and so much more, a strange hyper-focus on personal safety has started to overwhelm me. And a bit of doubt has crept up in my thoughts whenever I want to go places alone. For me, this is *incredibly* disempowering and makes me question how I am honoring the independent spirit that is very deeply rooted in my identity.

PLUS, I have something that is admittedly a bit bratty, but that I won’t deny or hide: when I was younger, I never wanted to follow what feels like a cliche–be the woman who moves for the guy. As I pursued my academic life, I always worried that a guy would likely not want to follow me wherever I happened to get a job. When Tom and I moved here, it was with the understanding that if/when I got a tenure-track job offer to teach English at a university that was the right fit, he would move with me–but for now, since Atlanta is a city with MANY opportunities in his professional field (and he has significant student loan debt still to pay down) AND it’s a city with many universities, it made sense for us to move here.

And we have been here. And part of me constantly wonders if this is it–if we should commit to being here and, in a year or so when we are more ready to save for a down payment on a home of our own and take on a mortgage, figure out what it would take to dig our roots into this city. The rest of me wonders where I want to live and what would make me happy…but that would also make my sweet amazing husband happy.

For a long time, these thoughts were in the very back of my mind–figuring out the job stuff came first and taking care of some of the deeper identity issues that, for me, run in tandem with questions of my vocation & occupation. I’ve been in a good place not so much because I finally have a good job, but more because my sense of self confidence has started to return after too many years of being–well, nowhere near me. I’m starting to feel that sense of “no matter what, I will be OK” and the most true parts of my identity–sharing love, serving the people around me, and connecting the present moment to what’s possible–feel more firmly grounded than ever.

And it’s time to really grapple with the BIG questions of where my heart will feel most at home (beyond tethered to Tom’s heart).

Woah–I just got deep. And wordy. Sorry about that! The funny thing is that without running through all of the inner dialogue, all of this, especially the part of me returning back to myself, was very present throughout my yoga class this morning. My mantra was, with each inhale, I am ok…and with each exhale, My heart is grounded. Funny how that works sometimes, right?

Want to hear something silly? For years now, whenever I peep in and comment after really having something to say from your blog posts (beyond my constant desire to send you a virtual high-five), part of me feels almost like we’re out for a cup of coffee (or, well, a milkshake…because YUM…), just meeting up at the local coffee shop…

(Again: silly, but honest…)

Hope your day in St. George is AMAZING!

Hi Janae! What a cool workout! I totally get what you mean about chasing a faster friend.. speaking of rabbits my running club friend found a baby rabbit before our last run! It was so hot out and the poor thing was lost so she took it home and is caring for it.
Have a wonderful time in St. George!!!!

Janae! You are so fast and so strong! Even so, you give this slow old lady courage to stick with running. My only dang goal at this point is to run a 30 minute 5k before I die or something. I never quit trying even when I have to take big breaks for injuries or ice and cold or heat and humidity. I am kinda hoping I’m on my way to it this time with week 5 of 9 being done now.

We are exactly at the point you dream about with St George. Our choice is Tampa Bay. This year we will begin to celebrate both of our birthdays there and a few more trips there too. We have to stay up north until retirement but our goal just now is to spend all of our vacation time there as we transition.

Thanks for your steadfast encouragement every day! It really really translates nicely for all runners even at the back of the pack.

Enjoy your day!