A progression run hadn’t happened in a while, so it felt like a good idea to try one out on Saturday. It was a gorgeous morning, and I love the challenge of pushing myself a bit harder with each mile. My splits weren’t exactly a progression because it was a hilly course, but it was a progression run as far as effort goes. 10 miles @ 7:24 average.
If I haven’t convinced you to come visit Utah yet, I will keep trying.
This is how dedicated I am to doing all of the extras with my running these days—> I brought tools WITH me to St. George.
We went to Sand Hallow for my first time ever.
My brother and his family met us there.
Beck could not get enough of the water…
Or of the sand.
We planned on being there for about two hours but somehow that turned into 6 hours.
Sandwiches, Doritos, and popsicles… the best kind of summer day.
Alyssa asked me a bit ago to do a post about motherhood and my take on it all. How I fit running in and taking time for myself, how I make it a positive experience etc. Let’s go ahead and dive in and of course I will overshare and talk in bullet point format! EACH person’s experience is so different in what works for them, so know this is what I have found to work for me! I make a million mistakes a day but I truly love being a mom to these kids.
*Running makes me love motherhood more. I am positive that if I didn’t take time to do something that I love, my patience would be low, I would feel down a lot easier, and feel like I was losing myself. Luckily, I married someone who supports me in making it possible for me to have me-time. I also use babysitters or run ridiculously early to make it possible. I know I can be a better mom and less burned out if I do run. Running also helps me have the energy to keep up with them and take care of my physical health to take care of theirs.
*When I have felt guilty for running over the years I remind myself that if my kids choose to have kids, I DO NOT want them to give up their passions when they become parents so I need to be a good example of chasing my goals throughout motherhood too. My mom always had something she was doing for herself whether it was piano lessons, lunches with friends or French lessons. She was a great example to me of continuing to learn and grow as an individual!
*Most nights I lay down at night and feel like I messed up somehow. I’m learning that motherhood is a relationship, not a role, which helps a lot with these feelings. If I can find ways to connect with them throughout the day in small ways, I can let go of all of the ways I wasn’t perfect with them. I give it to God and go to bed but know if you do this at night too, you aren’t alone.
*I’m really working on learning that it is not my job to make them happy. I’m not a cruise director (that is what my mom would tell us if we ever complained about being bored and then she would give us a chore ha) and it isn’t possible for me to make their lives free of hard things. I have to remember that they are humans too and that their struggles are going to make them grow and become stronger. Nothing is worse than seeing them hurt and yes they are still small but they have already experienced some hard things and my job is to help guide them and sit in the pain with them.
*I bring them with me. Luckily, a lot of what I love doing my kids enjoy, so I pack them up with us and it makes things even more fun. When it comes to traveling with them it means we sleep a lot less but it’s worth it to us! We get outside a lot and everyone is happiest when we are outside.
*Being a single mom actually really helped me personally. There was a weekend each month or longer holiday periods where Brooke was gone and it was just me. For the first year of being a mom, other than running… ALL I did revolved around motherhood and then I went into a stage where I had days all alone after my divorce when Brooke was with her dad. It taught me that I had to find my identity and work on my relationship with myself. I look back now and I’m thankful I learned that when I did because it helps me so much now.
*I love how much kids teach me to enjoy the little things in life. Everything is so exciting to them and it rubs off on me and I love it.
*When I’m having a hard day in motherhood, I remind myself that I CHOSE this direction in life, and for some reason when I remind myself that, it helps me to take ownership over the hard rather than feel like a ‘victim’ in the hard parts of it all. It helps me to avoid being bugged that I’m tired or struggling because I remind myself that I chose the hard stuff that comes along with the job. Remembering the choice part of it gives me power over the hard.
*This one makes me feel pretty vulnerable but I struggle with the idea of not having a little one at home with me in the future. It’s all I’ve known for the last 8 (almost 9!) years and change is hard for me! I feel confident in helping little ones and I love doing that but worry about if I will be able to help them as they are teens etc. I need to stop worrying about the future and I also need to be comfortable with the idea of change and excitement over what is up ahead.
*Learning to be more present is a daily task for me in motherhood because it is flying by.
*This is something I definitely have never blogged about before ha but I really think it is so so important for parents—> “Suppression of self interferes with good parenting” from Sexual Sense of Self in Motherhood (listen listen listen)!
*There are definitely hard parts but I’ve never felt comfortable sharing specific examples of those online. I don’t want to share anything but positive things about other people online because I would feel terrible setting a reputation about a person that wasn’t positive.
*On the other side of the above topic, I feel like I need to do a better job sharing some of the monotony or my own personal struggles that happen. Social media can make it seem like people are happy all of the time but I’ve learned that happiness is an emotion that I don’t feel more often than I do if that makes sense. Most hours are just hours where we are getting things done or working through problems BUT if I can find the moments of pure joy and happiness throughout the day and hold on to those, life is good.
*One thing that Andrew and I have realized that we do in regards to having a blended family is overcompensate… When we have all of our kids it’s easy for us to go overboard on fun/activities/treats because we feel like we have to make up for the lost time. We are constantly reminding each other that we need to connect with them and spend quality time and that is enough.
And those are all of the random things I can think of right now but I’m sure I will make sure to write another post about it all if I think of more!
I would love to hear any and every thought you have about parenthood if you are one or if that is something you are wanting in the future or about whatever direction you have chosen and how you find joy!
What is something your parents did that you loved, I would love to hear so I can copy ideas!
Live near any lakes or rivers or the ocean?
Morning runners—> on average how long does it take you to get out the door for your runs?