#18 Weeks + Breastfeeding Round #3

I LOVE your approach this time around! I remember reading about your plans/experience breastfeeding Skye and I feel like I remember you saying things like, “I’m going to do my best to reach my goal of 1 year but I won’t stress it if I can’t” (although maybe I’m mis-remembering), so it’s interesting to hear you talk about how much anxiety you actually did end up dealing with around it. I hope that not having a specific goal (and having two perfect little humans who still thrived after they switched to formula) will help you to feel good about it this time no matter what happens! And how unfair of anyone to judge you…but when people criticize I feel like it’s more about them than it is about us! In any case, the vast majority of us are 100% in your corner and if you need to get a million comments reminding you of what a great mom you are, I think I speak for all of us when I say we’re here for it! ;)
I only have one child so far and she’s almost two now. I definitely planned on breastfeeding and was super nervous about all the issues you hear about – production, latching, painful nipples, etc. I nursed her from the start and I think we did pretty well figuring it out in the hospital, although I was never sure I was doing it right. She was diagnosed with PKU at 4 days old, though, so she ended up having to have the majority of her nutrition come from a specialty medical formula (if she gets too much protein in her diet, it could cause brain damage and mental retardation). The doctors we had at the time advised us to switch to commercial formula since we would know exactly how much protein she was getting, so we did, although I continued to pump just in case. At our first follow-up doctor’s appointment a few days later, I asked if I could breastfeed and they said yes, but still recommended I pump so we could measure how much she was getting. So I exclusively pumped all the way until she was 15 months old, just so she could have a few ounces of breast milk within her protein tolerance. I’m really proud of how hard I worked to do that for her, but it also was kind of an awful experience – exclusively pumping is HARD because you still have to do it as often as you would nurse! So like 9x a day in the beginning! Ugh. At the end I was down to 2x a day but it still wasn’t fun to have to pump before bed or at work every day. I later found out that tons of PKU moms still actually nurse without issue (they just limit how long, or how many times a day, etc.), and it hurts to think that we stopped even though we didn’t actually have to.

FED IS BEST!!! Whether that feeding is from the breast or a bottle… It does. Not. Matter. I felt like breastfeeding was the only thing that came “easily” to me as the mother of a newborn – we didn’t have many problems with it … but everything else (crying, sleep, my mental health etc) was a struggle. I do think if I ever try for another child and our breast feeding relationship goes smoothly, I would be much more open to using a combo of formula and breast milk, because breast-feeding is a lot on the mom…To be the one solely responsible for feeding them… It’s very overwhelming!!

I hate that anyone would make you feel like less than the amazing mother that you are! You do the best you can and just love those babies, they will thrive either way because they have so much love in their lives. My second daughter would just not nurse. She would cry and cry at my breast, she would cry and cry at the bottle, it was HARD. You have to take care of you and your mental being to be able to take care of the rest of the family so please don’t listen to anyone who is less than supportive of you doing your very best.

Anxiety around breastfeeding is not silly at all. It’s all consuming . Your child needs to eat 1000x/day, and if you don’t hydrate enough, eat enough oatmeal/flax/wtvr, and pump when your breasts get too full, you won’t produce enough milk. My daughter was allergic to milk (not lactose) so I also didn’t eat any dairy the whole time I breastfed (helped with post baby weight loss, but my coffee was sad, and my life was cheese-less). And don’t even get me started on storing, freezing, labelling, and defrosting safely. It’s really just so much.

I think we are progressing from breast is best, to fed is best + Mama’s mental health is paramount.

My friend never really produced milk and it was such a stress. For her second baby, she asked the nurses at the hospital for formula and they gave her a hard time. So for her third baby she packed the premade bottles of formula in her hospital bag, trusting her own judgement and skipping having to justify her decision to the nurses

I can’t stand when people breastfeed shame!!! A fed baby is a happy, sleepy, loved baby and that’s what matters. There’s zero point in stressing about how to feed your baby. All they need is a full belly and some snuggles so however they get that is perfectly fine. I had a great breastfeeding experience with my oldest (currently expecting another girl mid August). I nursed for 14.5 months, never supplemented, and donated almost 600oz to the milk bank. I loved every minute of it and felt soooooo guilty stopping because I wanted another baby and hadn’t had a period yet. When we were done I was SO relieved and SO happy to have my body back. I don’t know why I didn’t stop sooner!!! Nursing for however long you can or want to is an amazing experience but you can bond equally and have an equally healthy and happy baby with a formula or supplemented baby. Best of luck!!!

Janae, you were the reason I let myself stop breastfeeding my second daughter (who is close to the same age as Skye). I too put SO much pressure on myself and that combined with postpartum depression, I was a wreck but felt incapable of making the (right) decision (for me) to stop breastfeeding on my own. You saved me by posting about it and making me feel that it was okay for me to stop too. I know it’s impossible to understand how impactful you are on others when you’re vulnerable, but I truly know how much guilt and weight that took off my shoulders so that I could breathe again. Thank you ❤️ Thank you so much.

Yes yes and yes! Thank you for having this conversation. I breastfed for 3 months and it affected my mental health so much. I was shocked how many negative comments I got about stopping. I’m pretty sure my daughter was tounge tied even though it was never diagnosed, because my nipples were completely mangled and painful the whole time!! And even if they weren’t, I still would have wanted to stop. Next time round I will definitely be comfortable using formula whenever I need to, and hubby can get up to some of those nighttime feeds!! You do you.

Breast feeding Natzis are the WORST! Seriously they leave no room for any other options- your nipples are cracked and bleeding-power through! Intubated in the ICU-I am making it making it part of my advanced directive that you pump my breasts! (Actually heard this)
I definitely enjoy parts of breast feeding-the bonding, soft baby breath, snuggles etc
But I also struggle with it. It’s hard for me not to know how much my baby is getting and I worry about my supple being too. low ALL.THE.TIME. I have three kids and while I have some sadness/regret whenever I stop breastfeeding them (always long before a year) I always feel so much better. I think my hormones even out and I start feeling more like myself when I stop. Plus it’s nice to have my husband help with the feeding.
Best of luck on this next journey. You do you and don’t listen to the crazies ❤️

Wow, I can’t believe you get those kind of comments from people. As a mother of two (22months and 3months) I literally cannot fathom having my personal choices – choices that I struggle to make, feel copious amounts of guilt around, and endlessly question as to whether or not it’s the RIGHT decision – questioned and criticized by complete strangers. Being a mum to a new babe is full of anxiety, doubt, confusion, and guilt (along with all the happy emotions ,of course!). You’re honestly so brave to continue to put yourself out there and share your experience just in the hopes of helping someone else.

I’m currently breastfeeding my 3 month old and desperately want to stop (for physical and emotional/mental health reasons), but know that during the pandemic breast milk is his best chance at staying healthy. I have so much guilt about even THINKING about stopping… but I know it’s going to have to happen soon, especially for my mental health. I’m a better mum when I’m not breastfeeding, and that’s what’s most important.

I’m so glad you’re putting zero pressure on yourself this time, it’s such a hard thing for us mums to make choices in our best interest sometimes. I hope it goes better for you this time, but if it doesn’t, you’re among many friends who have had to stop, knowing that in the long run we’re doing the best thing for our babes ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I wanted to breastfeed so badly. I was an undersupplier and I began to freak out when my baby was losing too much weight at her day 3 weight check. I needed to know how much she was getting, so I switched to exclusively pumping with formula supplementation. The lactation consultants tried other things, so I could continue to try direct nursing, (feeding formula through Syringe while nursing) but pumping worked out best since I could keep track of the ounces. It was super time consuming and I felt like I missed out on a lot at times, with my baby and family. I was pumping 8-12 times daily (to keep my low supply as high as I could), and I felt pretty tied down, literally! Looking back, I probably would’ve been a lot less anxious/stressed if I had made a full switch to formula sooner. She’s my only child, so I was only taking care of her, but it was still a lot at times. It was just something I was super stubborn about, but I wish I’d been more stubborn about taking care of myself!

Thank you for bringing up this topic, and I hope you can do what is best for you! We need to all support each other through the adventure of motherhood! <3

Echoing everyone before me in saying I am so sorry you received those comments when Skye was sick, etc. It makes me so sad to hear how critical people are of others’ very personal decisions. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your life with us, despite these downsides. I BF my first for a year and am 5 months in with my second. While it’s been convenient, cost saving, etc etc it’s also meant ensuring crazy engorgement in the start, a bout of mastitis, blocked ducts, you name it. You do you! If you make it six months, great, six minutes, great! The fact that anyone may have an opinion about that is bananas. :)

So my daughter is now 11 and when she was born I was absolutely beyond anxious. I was later diagnosed with post-partum depression. Even 11 years ago the feedback I got was so slanted towards breastfeeding at the expense of everything else that I could barely cope. I found the pressure to be overwhelming. Finally, a kind older nurse during one of her wellness calls said to me, the way you’re feeling may not improve until you finish breastfeeding. I made the decision to stop breastfeeding at around 3 months and within a couple of weeks I was feeling massively better (although the depression took another year to resolve). I guess the point of this ramble is that young moms need to hear that whatever works best for them is the right thing to do and they should NOT be bullied, shamed, or judged for keeping themselves healthy first. Thanks for being a voice of sanity.

I tried breast-feeding with both my girls and both times I had postpartum and some anxiety around breast-feeding as well so it didn’t work out for us for long and with my first at 2 months she was losing weight

Hi Janae! I’m so sorry people decided they felt it was their place to give their opinion on breastfeeding when you stopped with Skye. Not a mom or even pregnant but as a 20 something female, I’ve already heard from others the breastfed vs. pump fed vs. formula fed. You know what the best option is: FEEDING YOUR BABY!! Some mother’s can produce enough to breast feed and that’s great! Some babies won’t latch and they get a bottle with pumped milk, awesome! Some mother’s can’t produce enough or for their own health reasons (whether mental or physical) to formula feed, fantastic! In all those situations the baby is getting enough nutrients to be able to be health, grow and thrive. Over here supporting YOUR choice since it’s YOUR body and YOUR health that also needs to be considered. <3 xoxo

Wow I can’t believe people would comment on that no less blame you for your child getting sick. I’ve only had one experience breastfeeding and it was such a breeze for me I feel bad talking about it because I know others do not have it so easy. I’m having my second in September so we’ll see if it was just an easy nursing baby or what! All power to you though, there’s no room for Shane or guilt in motherhood because you’re doing God’s work and he would never want you to feel those things.

I really feel for my blogger/internet friends who have to explain and/or apologize for how they choose to live their lives—I’m sorry you guys have to deal with so many unkind comments. You are doing a great job as a mama and you are an awesome human! Please continue to not let silly comments bring you down—you are AMAZING, just as you are! ❤️

Breastfeeding is wonderful – but it’s not THE most important thing and you’ve got to do what works for you ALL. I breastfed my baby and it didn’t stop him getting bronchiolitis (supposedly more common in non-breastfed babies). Sometimes they just get poorly! I was never given any breast milk by my mum and am annoyingly healthy, and actually quite smart too ;-)

In praise of breastfeeding though: you’ve done the really hard bit twice (so well done!) – it gets so much easier after 6 months. Actually – it was tough around 6-7 months as he was just so hungry then and hadn’t quite got the hang of solid food but once he did, ahh – it was great!

I agree that breastfeeding is so good for babies, and yet I did not breastfeed either of mine. After much consideration, it just wasn’t right for our family. With that said, I have happy, healthy, smart, active 10 & 3 year old boys (and one started in the NICU at 34 weeks). Again, breastfeeding is a great choice, but I just think there are so many other factors that help children grow to be strong and healthy such as sleep, vitamins, healthy diets, exercise, prayer, and love. Love your blogs :)

Happy mom = happy baby, fed is best!!!! Have you read Cribsheet by Emily Oster? She has a whole chapter on feeding that proves out (with data) that formula and breastfed babies have similar outcomes!! You are strong to ignore the haters who comment on your parenting and how you choose to feed your children.

I, like you, set a goal to breastfeed my baby for a full year. She turned 8 months today and we are still going strong…but there are days I feel over it and want my body back. Yet there is so much societal pressure on moms to breastfeed I feel guilty wanting to stop! I think many people don’t understand how difficult breastfeeding is mentally. I struggled with oversupply for the first 5ish months and spent so many hours (and tears) worrying my baby wasn’t getting the best nutrition, despite the the pediatrician telling me not to worry…when things finally settled I started worrying I didn’t have enough supply, so there is no winning! Now that my baby is older, I worry what it will do to her mentally/emotionally when I decide to stop…if I do stop, will I find a formula that agrees with her tummy…?

Breastfeeding is HARD! In hindsight I wish I didn’t set a time based goal, as not hitting goals doesn’t feel so great…so all said, I think your approach is the right one! Raising little humans is hard enough without unnecessary pressure :)

If people are going to be rude might I suggest just not discussing whether you are nursing or not? Unless you think it will help your readers.

I honestly want to cry when I remember the days of feeling forced to make it to a year of nursing my son, him screaming at night and I had no milk left to give by the end of the day but he refused a bottle so I’d just cry too, me at work with my classroom door locked hunched over a desk in the back of the room pumping like it was a dirty secret. Seriously a horrible experience.

My daughter did so amazingly on formula. A wonderful sleeper and thriving in every way possible, wayyy less illnesses throughout her childhood than my son!

There are children neglected abused and starving maybe we should focus on helping those children instead of the bottle fed and loved children!

Sorry if this sounds negative I just get very riled up on this topic hehe ?

I have twins who were born a month early and were apparently “lazy suckers.” I could never get them to latch. I was able to pump for a year and give them breastmilk but was never able to breast-feed them. I remember feeling so incredibly guilty over not being able to breast-feed my children. I was just completely stressing myself out over trying to get them to latch and struggling. We did up doing half breastmilk and half formula because I also did not make enough milk to feed two babies. It was great because then at night my husband and I took turns feeding them and I was able to get a little bit more sleep also! Good luck this time around and I think not putting any goals or pressure on yourself is such a smart thing to do. I know I don’t know you, but you seem like such a wonderful and loving mother, I know you will be amazing!

Your approach to breastfeeding sounds incredibly sensible. I wish more people would acknowledge that breastfeeding isn’t the hill to die on and pressure yourself over – fed is best, especially if you need to take your mental health into play. Best of luck to you!

I feel you on the anxiety around breastfeeding! I had so much anxiety around getting my LO to take a bottle (which she now happily does!) My sister was visiting the weekend we decided the really push the bottle and she and I went out for the day and I think I talked about how anxious I was about the bottle 99% of our day together instead of just enjoying our time alone. And then when LO started taking the bottle better I stressed about how to pump enough milk! Now she is 4.5 months old and we are doing great – breastfeeding for bedtime, at night, first feed of the day and bottle the rest of the day which is amazing for my sanity because my SO can help feed so I can take a shower or work from home or whatever. I pump 1x at night around 3 or 4 am, then 3x during the day (7a, 11a, 3p give or take based on how to day is going)… But man, sorting out how to make this work was crazy! Hopefully for the next kid I can chill about it better because of this experience. I also do not have a goal for how long to breastfeed, basically I told myself as long as it’s working for all of us I’ll keep it up which helped me switch from driving myself crazy pumping 5x a day to my current schedule which is much more manageable! So I totally feel you and support the taking care of your mental health. There have been so many times I had to give myself permission to do something for ME because I knew it would make me more patient and present with my little family. Thanks for being so open and honest about your experiences, I read through your posts about breastfeeding as I have been going and it’s just nice to hear someone’s reality and struggles and joys of it. I’m sure whatever you end up doing with your LO will be perfect for your family!!

My fourth kiddo is 9 months old currently and a bottle baby – one of the most unexpected blessings was a terrible case of mastitis when she was 7 weeks old that led me to stop breastfeeding. I’ve breastfed each baby for a shorter and shorter time (I made it a year with my first), but it wasn’t until I stopped that early that I realized how many of my postpartum mental health struggles were tied in with how long I breastfed! I wish I would’ve heard more support to listen to my own needs, I wonder how much happier and more engaged of a mother I could have been if I had just switched to bottles sooner on all of them. This feels like my first baby that I am actually able to fully enjoy and connect in the first year, it breaks my heart how much I missed on the first three. I am so glad Andrew is supporting you 100% in this. Trust your heart and don’t let the postpartum mental monsters win. My mantra: fed is best.

My pediatrician gave such good advice! “A happy mama makes a happy baby.” Whether breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or a combo makes you happy that is what will make your baby happiest. Our doctor was super pro-breastfeeding and helped me a ton but I totally agree that you have to do what is best for your family.

Janae – do you read Cup of Jo? I love this post about motherhood:

https://cupofjo.com/2020/05/motherhood-mantra/

Lots of love to you!

Oh goodness the breastfeeding opinions! I got criticism for feeding my first child too long, and second child for not long enough. Do what works for your family. I was a formula baby and I’m healthy, as is my husband. People have so many opinions about all things parenting, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution for anything (sleep, feeding, etc). The most important thing is keeping yourself sane and healthy, without that you won’t be able to give much of anything. I wish you all the best!

Late to the comments. But just in case you read them. Your approach is breastfeeding is 100% the best! Try, and do whatever works for you. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. And it’s nobody’s business but your own. I dare you to walk into a highschool classroom and identify which kids were breastfed. Can’t do it. :) Honestly, if it causes you anxiety, that’s not worth it. And sometimes your milk isn’t the best thing for your baby. But you know all this already. My worst experience: coming home from the first night out, with engorged breasts and the baby crying because it wouldn’t take the bottle. My husband was devastated. And sometimes I think non-breastfeed babies have a better bonding with BOTH parents, not just the mom :) Best experience with breastfeeding… last year I had a double mastectomy. I kept telling myself “at least my breasts were able to feed by two babies.” My kids are teenagers, and I only breastfed each one for about 6 months. But knowing I did that brought me a lot of peace when I had to lose my breasts.

Ohhh my goodness, I love this post so much!! For me, breastfeeding was one of the worst experiences of my life. With my daughter it caused major mental stress and anxiety (we had latching issues and I had mastitis and oversupply) and had I kept doing it I would totally have set myself up for postpartum depression. I was MISERABLE while breastfeeding her. I made it 9 weeks and gave up and was so so so much happier. With my son I did it for 4 weeks and happily stopped when it was too much for me. This is your body and your family and it does not matter how that sweet little baby is fed. I love what the person above me said about walking into a high school and picking out which children were formula fed vs breastfed. You would never know and you don’t need to know because it doesn’t matter! I love your approach to all this – you’re the best, Janae :-)

Absolutely do what works for your mental health and your family. I think that it is good that breastfeeding is encouraged by healthcare providers and society in general, but it can go too far. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, or it takes too much of a toll. No one should feel bullied or pressured. Everyone’s journey and body is unique! Breastfeeding worked for me, but natural birth didn’t – I ended up with failed inductions and c-sections with both my babies. I felt a lot of failure and guilt about the whole experience, and questioned if it affected my bond with my kids. 4 years later and I’m in a much better place with it all. I think there is too much pressure to do things the “right” way, and too much messaging that our bodies “know” exactly what to do. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t! Everyone’s experience is different.

I’m just going to say it, I HATE breastfeeding. I breastfed my 1st three and had to pump and bottle feed my 4th. I didn’t have to but I chose to and my anxiety over all of it was out of control! I don’t know why I stressed myself out over it. Looking back I would have chilled out and switched to formula!! Haters are going to hate!! You do you!!

Fed is best is my motto. Going into my first pregnancy I was NOT going to even attempt to breastfeed. I had supplies purchased and was going to bottle feed from the start. My first was early by quite a bit, the lactation consultant recommended trying to breastfeed for bonding mostly and well it seemed to have stuck as I quickly adjusted to exclusively breastfeeding and fed for 7+ years straight (3 different babies and sometimes tandem) however I say all of this to say, you just never know how it will go and less pressure you put on you and your family the better. Anyone who feels the need to provide negative comments on anything is just a bully. Ignore them and do you :)

I am so happy to see your family growing and I cannot wait to see what HRG baby turns out to be .. I think BOY. We are getting ready to welcome our 4th (anyday now) and the anticipation is real in our house … from everyone!!!

I’m so sorry people were rude to you when you stopped nursing Skye. Moms put enough pressure on themselves already, there’s no need for people to add to that! My sister had a similar experience with anxiety while breastfeeding her daughter. She struggled with anxiety pre-pregnancy and after she gave birth she was constantly worried her daughter didn’t have enough milk, trying to work out the nursing schedule in her head and stressed over when she would need to feed her next and more. She decided to use formula after a month and instantly was so. much. happier! I am so pro doing what works for YOU. Because a good mom is a mom that is present, not one that is tangled up in anxiety, you know?

My breastfeeding experience has been crazy. I wanted to give up at a lot of points (I struggled with thrush, clogged ducts, and engorgement in the beginning) and was totally mentally done at one point so I tried to give my daughter a bottle with pumped milk… and she wouldn’t take it! She actually never took a bottle, so I pushed through with nursing. My mom didn’t breastfeed, so I didn’t really think I would. I decided to just try, and then my daughter decided we were definitely going to, LOL.

Ah the flutters, those are the best!! So happy for you guys!

Some of the best advice I got was that I could both breastfeed and supplement with formula. It took a lot of pressure off of me and my husband could help more. Pumping never worked well for me and I ultimately only breastfed for two months, but I felt anything was better than nothing and set a good foundation for my daughter’s health. That being said, there is so much pressure to exclusively breastfeed but it shouldn’t be at the cost of your mental health, especially during such a stressful time and during recovery from childbirth. Formula worked great for us and my daughter slept longer stretches because she was getting enough to eat. Win win! Thanks for sharing, you are keeping a great perspective on it all!

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective on this, it’s so refreshing to hear that I was almost in tears reading it. I have two kiddos, 4 and 2, and I breastfed them both until about a year. But my mental health 100 percent took a toll especially because I’m so affected by the hormones. I don’t think we’ll have any more kids, but if we do I would definitely want to adopt your mindset. There are so many expectations from other moms and society and we put some much pressure on ourselves too and it’s just all too much. I love your honesty and willingness to put you and your family first. Thank you!! And congrats!!!

I agree, you do whats right for you and your family. Only you know that. Not those people commenting on your mothering for how long or short you breastfeed or if Skye gets sick that it could be from lack of breastfeeding (omg, what the heck people). I made it to the 3 month mark. It was going so great for my baby and I. Really, really great. I also had the 1 year mark in mind. But I got this rash on my hand and my Dr told me to take Benedryl to stop the itching, therefore it should get better. I asked the nurses if that was ok since I was breastfeeding, they said yes it was safe for the baby. So I took it. Was about a month for the rash to clear up but noticed in that month, my milk supply diminished slowly. So slowly you didn’t notice it right away. Until it was to the point I couldn’t build it back up. I tried everything to get it back. But then I was crying everyday about it and you know that doesn’t help. So we switched to formula then. But on a good note, due to that experience. I have had 6 of my friends take Benedryl when they chose to stop breastfeeding to make the ending process/fullness not so terrible. The last gal to try it said it was amazing! No pain and she slept really well !! lol So there’s that. Also, when I called the Dr office about my milk supply problem they said “Oh yea Benedryl does that, dries you up quick”. So they told me Benedryl would not harm the baby, they didn’t tell me my milk would stop. It took me almost a year to get over not feeling like I failed my baby for having to stop after 3 months. Lots of tears for sure. It’s amazing how much our own thoughts and pressure from others can effect us and this process. But she’s 12 now, thriving and well.

I am so sorry people were rude and disrespectful about your choices on breast feeding! You shouldn’t have been shamed about your experiences!
The number one rule is feed the baby! I breastfed both my kids. And it was hard and it sucked and I’m sure I put undo pressure on myself. My sister in law made herself I’ll trying to breast feed.
What is best for momma, is best for the baby. End of story. Good luck with breast feeding this time around. A KNOW that your success as a mother has nothing to do with which method you feed your baby.
Tell those internet trolls to stick it where the sun don’t shine

I just to jump on here and say I love you and love binge reading your blog still when I have a free moment. Your just genuinely one of my favorite people. Secondly, people are CRAZY and I’m so incredibly sorry that they felt the need to attack you. 100% wrong and unfortunate & I’m proud of you for seeing past it. My sister actually has a rare condition and does not produce breast milk. With her first 2 she felt so much guilt she pumped blood out of her breasts. I watched the extreme anxiety it caused her with all of her kids & was determined to never let that happen to me. Annistyn was small and struggled latching. I struggled being told I needed to feed her a certain amount & not knowing how much she was getting. I lasted 1 week! It wasn’t worth the anxiety it was causing. I did pump for a year and produced like a dang cow which I feel grateful for. But at the end of the day babies need food and love. ?

It is an american thing. People judge everything. But I notice in America even when people give helpful hints it is called bullying. My sister was told to stop smoking when she was pregnant, her Dr said she could not be his patient if she did not stop smoking. I am sure if she lived in America he would be sued. My other friend needed a knee operation, the Dr told her she needed to lose weight because she was obese. He was right.
Another was told her medication for her mental issues could cause long term effects on her child if she got pregnant. Somethings are true but hurt peoples feelings.

I definitely think that the whole picture has to be taken into account when you consider breastfeeding! I read a lot of comments and posts and whatnot on breastfeeding before my son was born… and it’s a lot! Do this, don’t do that. Conflicting advice from different doctors. What worked for me was kind of tuning everything and everyone else out. I just focused on doing what I could for my son – and a lactation consultation was SO helpful for us. I have no idea how things will go with having a second whenever that time comes though and I’m sure that also makes a difference. I hope that whatever your experience is this time, it keeps you in a healthy mental space!

Good. For. You! You are your babies’ Momma and you know best what they need and how to feed them! I am still currently nursing my 15 month old and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Believe me, breastfed or not you will receive unsolicited advise that you are doing it “wrong”. I’m told at least weekly that I’m spoiling my child and she’s manipulating me. You just can’t win as a Momma unless you ignore the comments and do what YOU know is best for your kids.