Never going to complain about… + a new goal!

I actually had the motivation to get in a tempo run when I woke up but as soon as I got out there in the snow and wind, I decided against my tempo idea (bc my motivation melted away as fast as the snow was falling ha).

8 miles @ 8:08 average.  Luckily, next week the temperatures are looking amazing because we need sunlight and time outside.  Maybe we’ll attempt homeschool outside next week on our picnic table:)

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We picked up Knox and after a bit of school we celebrated with cookies (I made Knox’s favorite pb no-bake cookies)!

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As much as Skye loves having the big kids home all day, I think she has missed our alone time too so I’m going to make sure to fit some of that in each day too.

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HER FIRST DAY OF ZERO ACCIDENTS!  She wore a pull-up for nap time and at night and that’s it.  That one chocolate chip each time she goes is quite motivating for her.

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We saw my sister for the first time in a very long time (and kept our distance the entire time).  She showed us how her latest goal during this quarantine has been to learn how to break dance… she’s getting pretty good at it too.

PS the snow melted very quickly!

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Simple meals for the win yesterday!

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And then we took a drive to pick-up Andrew’s mountain bike that needed to be fixed.  He was very happy to be reunited with his bike again… it was a long 48 hours;)

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Welcome to my new goal.  I’m going to start gardening (below spot for cold weather planting because it is shaded but we have another box with more sunshine and a greenhouse too)… time to figure this out and it turns out we have the time to now ha:)

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Just in case you are homeschooling and finding your kids wanting to snack every minute of the day, just add a lock to your fridge like my sis-in-law;)

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The last 1.5 weeks of staying at home has taught me that I’m never going to complain again about….

*Going to the grocery store… I miss running into neighbors there and being around a lot of people!  I’m an extrovert for sure and I’m craving time in big groups!

*Having a messy house after a bunch of our kid’s friends have been over for the day… I miss crumbs everywhere from a bunch of kids being over and all of the giggling that always wakes Skye up from her nap:)

*Waiting in a long line at a restaurant to be seated or get my food (well, if I’m really hungry then I might still complain a little;) but I miss seeing my favorite local businesses thriving (my neighbors own 6 restaurants and this has been extremely hard on them)!

*Watching a baseball game on tv (I love going to sports games but have a hard time watching them on tv)… I miss how happy a good baseball game makes Andrew4!

*The price of a race… I miss having a race on the calendar to motivate me to train hard and to look forward to the entire experience.  I’ll pay whatever it takes now:)

I miss those starting lines and dreaming about the near future starting lines!

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Anything that you’ve lived without over the last few weeks that you really miss now but used to complain about it?  What are some things you’ve really missed lately?

Are you more of an introvert, extrovert or somewhere in the middle?

Who gardens?  Tell me your favorite things to plant!

John is struggling with a problem called Hallux Limitus and was wondering if anyone reading has had experience with this and could help him out with their stories!  If you have, leave him a comment!

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64 comments

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We traveled with my husband’s job for 3 years, and this will be the first year in a while I’ll get to have my garden. I love to grow cucumbers and make pickles. Zucchini and squash are also a favorite…so easy to grow. Hope yours does well!! I’m definitely an introvert, but I will never again complain about going to work!

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Wow, Claire… this must feel so strange to you guys that you won’t be traveling for his job! But I am so happy that you will get to garden! Thank you so much and I hope that you are back to work again before you know it. Thanks Claire!

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Love this idea! I will not complain about:
-Having to drive downtown to school or the library all the time- I miss my school friends and studying in person! Online is not quite the same, especially after working from home all day.

-Waiting in lines for food! I used to complain when I would go out for lunch and there would be a lot of people. But now I feel bad for all the restaurants :(

-Being so busy. I would complain that I was never home, but now I’m home too much…

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I totally agree… as lucky as we are to be able to do so much online, it just isn’t quite like being next to someone working together. Good luck and I can’t wait for your first drive downtown to go to school!
I am with you too, I feel terrible for the restaurants and we sure just need to find a happy medium with being gone too much and too little. Thanks for these Mariah, we sure can all relate. I hope your Thursday is a great one!

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Hi Janae !
After two days of silence, i’m coming back. I didn’t want to bring my bad mood here after being called by my work and being asked to come back working from next monday (only afternoons) because they don’t want to hear about telework (I’m working in an office).
And after that my race (21 may) has been cancelled.
But, but, but, i don’t want to bring negative waves here ! Haha :)

I’m not surprised you have snow, because we had snow two yesterday (and we are very low : 300/400 metres).
To give you an idea, that was the first time during this winter.

Congrats to Skye !!

I will never complain anymore about going to the grocery. No no no ! Haha
It was so hard again this week to find stocks in our Drive, and then to have a time slot.
I miss going to the market, and choosing my vegetables and fruits ! :)

Have a great day !

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Ingrid, we want to hear from you no matter what your mood is because we are all in this together. I am REALLY sorry about what you are going through right now. It’s so so hard and I want to give you a big hug. YOU HAD SNOW TOO?! What is going on.
It will be such a joyful day when we are all back to the stores again. Thank you Ingrid and I hope your Thursday has been so much better than the last two days!

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Your sister should have a blog. It would be daily craziness of “oh, I redid my kitchen twice WITH MY OWN HANDS and now I shall break dance” and I would be here for it.

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I tell her this same thing EVERY DAY! She really needs to and I wish you could all get to know her better because she is hilarious. Have a beautiful day Elizabeth!

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I’m so excited for you to garden! I’m not very good at it but I still love it. And growing my own food to go to the store less, save money, and help the food
supply really does make a lot of sense right now. Right now I’m starting thyme and tomatoes inside until it’s warm enough to transplant and it makes me so happy every time a seed sprouts. Probably more than it should.
I will never complain about a hard day at work again. I can’t work right now because my employer is closed so I am missing the structure, the people, the feeling of being useful big time.

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Ali, thank you for motivating me! This whole experience has made me realize that I do not want to fully rely on others for our food! YAY for the seed sprouts and I’m sure I’ll be just like you and it will make me extremely happy to see. I hope you are back to work soon and this really has us all much more appreciative of work. Thanks for sharing and I hope your Thursday is a beautiful one!

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I definitely miss racing and post-race brunch! We also take the kids to dinner once a week usually so we miss that. And I’m so sad to miss my son getting to play coach pitch this year! The games were so cute and funny last year for tee ball.

So my training partner and I are going to still run our cancelled marathon in May alone together! I am just going to go slow and not for time because I lost motivation for my time goal awhile ago. I’m excited to have all the endurance going into summer where I will transition to shorter speed training

Congrats on the potty training! Still working Over here but I’d say we’re like 85% there haha

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Oh those games are the BEST… so sad you guys are missing that too! I am cheering big time for you in May Sara! How cool that you guys are still going out, showing up and doing the work. I think you have the perfect plan for your running and I want to hear all about it. 85% wahoo (as of today we are there now too… back to a few accidents;). Hopefully we are both 100% asap! Thanks Sara!

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Mmm…no-bake cookies! I really want to try those peanut butter ones. My neighbor and I used to make a chocolate version when we were kids & I can almost taste them whenever I think about it. So good!
I consider myself an introvert. Being on my own doesn’t bother me, and I sometimes need to “retreat” to get myself recharged. The slower pace of life these days is OK with me, at least in the present and near future–staying out of stores, restaurants, and my office building, for example.
I’m grateful that my work has been flexible and that we haven’t gone without any necessities so far.
I hadn’t thought about how different things must be for Skye these days–she should write “a day in the life of Skye” post sometime :)

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I love when we have strong and fun memories associated to food. It’s just the best. I’m so glad that you can use this time to recharge and that you are doing well. Thank goodness your work has been so good to work with you.

I LOVE THAT IDEA. Expect it very soon! Thanks Corey and I hope the rest of your day is a great one!

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Hi Janae!
I am an introvert, so staying home is more comfortable for me. Gardening is something I LOVE! If you are planting a shade garden, mop head hydrangeas are a wonderful option and they will come back each year. Not knowing what zone you are in, I’m not sure the varieties that are best suited in your region. Some of my favorites are the endless summer and l.a.dreamin. Really colorful, and depending on the ph in your soil, the endless summer is more pink or more blueish purple.
Good luck with your gardening! Can’t wait for your pictures!?

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THANK YOU so much for the help! This is a whole new world and you might be hearing from me if I have questions:) Thank you and have the best day Kathryn!

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Your sister is crazy in the best possible way. Can she please do a break dancing guest post?! I LOVE IT.
Congrats to Skye! We finally have both kids potty trained (nights too) and I am SOOoooo HAPPYYYYYYYY! I’m an introvert but man do I miss my group runs. :(

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Hahaha She really needs to! Her main motivation now is that her son said that if she gets good enough she can come do a dance off with him at his next dance;). YAY for both kids being potty trained for day and night. I miss those group runs so much too! I hope we are back to those group runs soon. Thanks so much Mollie and I hope the rest of your Thursday is a beautiful one!

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It’s not something I ever complained about but I miss hugging people!!!

M-F I’m an introvert but the weekends are a different story :). So far this has been pretty easy for me but I’m making a conscious effort to be sensitive to my friends/family that are naturally extroverted, some people are really having a hard time!

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I miss hugging people too! It felt so weird to see my sister yesterday and not give her a big hug. It feels so weird and I hope this weekend you are able to really fill it with some fun things! I do worry about everyone’s mental health right… this is tough stuff. I’m here if you need to talk this weekend! Thanks Jocelyn and have a great rest of your day!

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I am an introvert, so the last few weeks have been quite easy for my family. Well, easier than for most that is. I think what I miss most is heading to the grocery store, post office, library, etc whenever I want. I’m limiting those things drastically of course. I’m grateful that we are finding the good in things we took for granted before though. But the thing I miss the most is heading to the other side of town and hugging my 2 grandbabies. They are so little, we are really strict with the distancing rules and they just don’t understand.
I’m excited to follow along with your gardening journey. I have always wanted to do that !! I tried one tomato plant last year, in a pot, and it did great… until it didn’t and died within days. Turns out, you should NOT water it with miracle grow every single time you water. You should only do that once every few weeks if you choose to at all. Whoops !!!

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Michele, I am so so glad that you guys re doing well for the situation and finding the best in this situation. I bet you are missing those little ones so much and I hope you are able to be reunited with them again soon. Hopefully you are getting a lot of pictures from them:). GOOD to know about the miracle grow, I’m sure I would have made the same mistake. Thanks Michele and have a great day!

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Yay for spring and gardening! Johnny’s Selected Seeds has the best quality seeds – I worked on their research farm for five years breeding new varieties and selecting varieties for the catalog. More expensive but way more likely to germinate than seed from the local big box store. My unsolicited advice: start by adding good compost; start small – one summer squash plant can often be more than enough; buy plants for things that are hard to start from your local greenhouse (tomatoes, peppers, onions, perennial herbs); baby leaf lettuce is way easier to grow than head lettuce; do multiple small plantings of lettuce and herbs like cilantro; overwatering probably isn’t an issue in Utah but so many people kill their plants with too much water. Shoot me an email if you want some variety recs!

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GOOD TO KNOW! Thank you so much Lindsay and you are amazing. Thank you so much for the help and I just saved your email for all of my questions. I really appreciate you and I just think it is so cool you worked on the Johnny’s Selected Seeds research farm! Hope your day is going well:)

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I’m pretty much an introvert – i won’t go out of my way to be social – but I don’t shy away from conversations either.

I have only been working at home for 2 days now – but I really miss all the banter and friends at work already! How to people do this?

Like Andrew, I really, really miss sports. Especially March Madness since my Jayhawks were ranked #1 going into the tourney. I told my wife I am going to have the Hallmark Channel blocked just to even things up!

Thanks for asking about my issue. I found 2 web pages that explain my condition pretty well if you are interested.
https://barefootstrongblog.com/2014/12/02/big-toe-biomechanics/
https://ericcressey.com/big-toe-big-problems
I find it interesting that the articles mention both the anterior tibialis and peroneus longus muscles, both of which I strained last year. And it mentions that Hallux Limitus can inhibit glute activation, would could explain my hamstring strain.

What I am also disappointed about is that I have seen 3 different orthopedic sports doctors – but each doctor only addresses one issue (foot/knee/hamstring) and does not look for any sort of connection between the different injuries.

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I am so sorry that you are missing sports right now and all of the friends at work, this is rough! I’m so glad you are figuring out more about what is going on and I hope you are back to normal asap! I wish you could see Dr. Bennett, he is the best at connecting things and figuring out what the source is. Good luck today John and I hope you are having a great day!

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Hey, John. I too have the HL issue and now bone spurs as result. Saw podiatrist few months ago, confirmed diagnosis. Custom orthotics prescribed to try to delay surgery, not a fan – no improvement. I’ve now stretched most of my non-running shoes to alleviate pressure on the now bigger joint. Run in Hoka Arahi for rocker btm and try to wear my Birkenstock’s or haflinger shoes when not at work or running. I try to ice it now proactively after runs. All this has me mostly pain free and not progressing further with the joint damage but I’m becoming accepting that I’ll likely have to have the bone spurs removed, still on fence about whether to have joint and toe surgically worked. I’m looking fwd to reading your articles and knowing any more on your story!

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Brenda,
That does not sound like fun – sorry you have to go through all that. I don’t have any actual pain in the joint – but i do know it is arthritic and from filming my running gait and other clues I DO know it is causing my to turn my foot outward and put all the pressure on my outer toes and mess up the rest of my kinetic chain. I am currently trying some Hoka Bondis and New Balance 1080v10’s. I will try some other stuff and post my progress. I might try to see a different doctor as well. Thanks for your reply!

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I would say I’m more of an introvert, and I do enjoy time at home, and I’ve honestly just enjoyed this unexpected extra time with my family… it does help that we are a big family and with the college kiddos home early six of us in the house means their are plenty of people to hang out with. I do however miss my kiddos at work (I work in a special education classroom as a para), I really hope they are all doing well and I miss their sweet smiles and hugs.
I do miss going out to eat in restaurants. Whether it is family dinners or brunch dates with my hubby I do miss sitting on a patio just enjoying time out together.
The sunshine helps and I am great full to be able to get outside for walks and runs!

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I really am so happy that your college kids are all home with you now, it must be a party with everyone there. I bet those kids miss you SO much and being reunited with them will be the best. I’m with you, those meals at restaurants with your people are just the best. I hope you have a beautiful walk and run today Louisa!

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I won’t complain about taking kids to and fro to school and extra activities. I miss seeing them do sports and activities they love.

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ME NEITHER!! Now I realize how good it is for all of us. I hope we are back to that again Mary! Hope your day is one filled with sunshine!

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I miss going to the movies! I used to complain about the super expensive snacks and going out in the freezing cold/snow to get to the theatre when we could just as easily watch a movie on the couch??! But now I’m running out of stuff to watch on Netflix and popcorn at home just isn’t the same :( even with peanut m&ms mixed in. I’ve convinced myself that I’m an introvert (and I definitely need my private time to recharge!) but I’m an extrovert at heart and feel most energized around people. Otherwise I can definitely get stuck in my head and my tendency to overthink EVERYTHING destroys me. Journalling and calling at least one friend each day has been helping, but I will be so so happy when we can all just be together again!! Sigh. But I am really grateful that I do have this time to learn about myself and try some new things. Good luck with the gardening! I have no advice, other than when I lived in Utah I managed to grow some massive and delicious zucchinis (and I literally kill all plants no matter how hard I try) so I bet yours would be amazing!
Have a great day!

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Right?! I’ll pay anything now to go to a movie and have their popcorn and soda:) PS have you seen the Tiger King? We just started it and it is very interesting just in case you need something on Netflix. I am so glad you are journaling and calling people, that really does make a big difference. I can’t wait to be all together again either. Good to know I’ll probably at least for sure get some zucchinis. Thanks so much friend!

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Grocery shopping is a big one for me! It’s never been something I’ve enjoyed, but I was just telling someone that I miss being able to wander around the grocery store and look at stuff, instead of this “get in get out don’t touch anything unless absolutely necessary!” mentality.

I’m more of an introvert, but I get really down if I’m not around people. I need to recharge alone, but then I’m good to go! I REALLY miss seeing my friends right now. Very thankful for texting, phone calls, and skype right now.

Skye is looking so grown up!

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I’m with you… I miss feeling like I could really search the store for things. I hope you are doing okay and that we are able to be around people soon. We’ve got this. I agree, when did she just turn into a 5 year old?! Thanks Kristin and happy Thursday!

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I miss getting to take my son to the zoo or YMCA when he is off. I miss dropping him off at school and then going for my run. My hubby gets up at 4 to drive 100 miles to work (Tennessee National Guard, and now he is working logistics for COVID-19 testing), and I cannot seem to wake up earlier to run in the pitch black middle of the night…I did manage to do a treadmill run day before yesterday and with today 80 degrees am hoping to take Baxton to the park to bike while I run. That’ll help my speed!

I am an introvert by preference, but an extrovert in all my careers (YMCA, Sales, Foreign Service Officer, City Council).

I love to garden! My favorite thing to plant is perennials to keep building the flower up year after year. Least favorite is to start with seeds. I love that you have a greenhouse!!! Tomatoes year round!

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100 mile COMMUTE… wow! Way to go getting on the treadmill this week and enjoy your run with Baxton while he rides his bike. Enjoy that sunshine for us! I would have guessed you were an extrovert with what you do for work and running for office. Super cool to learn more about you. Thanks Tonya and I hope you are having the best day so far!

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Hi Janae! I just ordered some seeds for my garden too! I got arugula and kale since I love eating those and I thought it might be worth trying to grow organic! And I have some berry bushes. What are you planning to grow?

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Oh I am so excited about your garden! Keep me updated with everything. We just ordered a book so we are going to do a bit of researching before deciding but I’ll let you know asap. I’m so so excited!

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I am missing my stores like Home Goods, Hobby Lobby, TJ Maxx, etc. haha :)
I have an introverted personality but I don’t run and hide in big groups. When I need to unwind though, I need some major anti-social time. This staying at home has been good for me to slow down and focus on important things. The amount of Bible study and reading I am doing is so good for the soul.

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Yay for gardening! Two bits of gardening advice. I love having an herb bed. It is so nice to be able to go outside and grab all sorts of fresh flavorings to add to meals like basil, thyme, oregano, mint, rosemary, etc. They are very hardy as well. The second is kale. I have found this has a longer yearly lifespan than other types of lettuce, grows back, and again is very hardy. It’s great to have on hand for making Shalane’s quinoa recovery salad! Haha

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THANK YOU THANK YOU APRIL. I didn’t even think about an herb bed and those are things we use so often. Thank you so much and the kale will be perfect for my favorite salad. Have the best day!

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Oh I miss my stores too Sloan! I am so glad that this slow time has been so good for you and I’ve been studying spiritual matters much more lately too. I hope you are having a great day and thanks Sloan!

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I’m an introvert so the whole staying home thing isn’t as hard for me as it is for others. I’m really missing my boyfriend right now though – we don’t live together so it’s been nearly 2 weeks since I’ve seen him.

I’m a gardener and I think my favorite thing to grow are tomatoes! Being able to pick them straight from the garden the day after rain is the best! They don’t even compare to the ones at the grocery store.

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TWO WEEKS since you’ve seen your boyfriend, that is really hard Fiona! I’m sorry and I hope you get to be reunited again soon. You just made me so excited for tomatoes… they seriously don’t even taste like the same thing compared to grocery store tomatoes! Hope you are having a great day!

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Haha, that lock on the fridge is genius!

I miss getting the kids out the door in the morning so they don’t miss the bus! I would always complain because someone couldn’t figure out what shoes that want to wear, couldn’t find matching mittens, forget their backpack so I would have to run back to get it, etc. They miss school and their friends and I miss our morning talks while we wait for the bus.

I miss work (subbing). I miss going grocery shopping and wandering around Costco and Target.

I am an extrovert through the hours of 6:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., after that, I prefer to be in my house.

My husband gardens. My favorite things for him to plant are pea pods, pole beans, corn, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, carrots and potatoes (the kids love pulling those up). It’s also fun to have raspberry, strawberry and grape vines/plants!

Brilliant idea to homeschool outside! I hope it warms up enough for you to do that. Have a fabulous Thursday!

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Missing seeing family and friends, and my kids are really missing grandparents. I’ve been so thankful for google hangouts and zoom calls though!
My husband and I are signing up for a social distancing (aka virtual) race to stay motivated!

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I’m so thankful for those too! They help so much and I am SO excited for your virtual race. Keep me updated with the training and how it goes. Thanks Amanda!

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Oh Becky, I’m so sorry that your kids are missing their normal lives and you are missing subbing. Oh wandering Target… I miss that so much! So cool that your husband gardens and reading your supply sure made me excited. Thank you friend and YOU TOO!

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I miss my people! We have two church “families” that mean so much to us (one in California, one in Hawaii.) I miss all the hugs and love, I miss all the little ones that hug on me, and the little girls who show me their new shoes. I will never miss LA traffic ;)

I’m definitely in the middle. I love being with people, but I also need time to myself. Being a solo runner has always worked well for me.

I had one gardening attempt when I was about 12. I planted tomatoes, bell peppers and watermelons. They were growing beautifully and I was so proud, until…. our pet desert tortoise ate EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! He plowed through them like a boss!! (We got the tortoise from a school teacher who was retiring and we had him for years.)

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Oh I bet your church families are missing you a lot! Hopefully you are all back together. It’s crazy to me to see pics and videos from areas like LA or NYC that are looking so empty right now. YOUR PET ATE THEM ALL? He was hungry!

Have a beautiful day friend!

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So excited to see your garden!! Also, before putting the new soil, put down newspapers and put wholes in them where you plant your seeds or plants…helps with all the weed pulling! :)

Also, where would you take someone who finished a major goal on a relaxing longer weekend?

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THANK YOU for the tip, we need that! Hmmm good question. What’s the budget? What type of stuff do they like? Where are you coming from? I mean, I vote Utah but with more info I can give more ideas. Hope your Thursday has been great so far Amber!

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I’m a first grade teacher and I’m really missing my students. I’ve never really appreciated how their smiles and energy give me energy. I’ve always thought of myself as an extrovert, but I realized after reading an article recently that I’m a “social introvert “. I love gardening- flowers and veggies . Tomatoes and cucumbers always make me feel great and proud (and yum!)
Skye’s face in the picture with you is priceless ?

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I bet your students are missing you a lot Patti! I can’t wait for you guys to be reunited. Thank you for all that you do for these students. Oh I need to learn more about ‘social introvert’.. that is really interesting. I can’t wait to be proud of what we grow. Thanks so much Patti and have a great day!

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Omg! I miss people! Interaction, hugs, laughing loudly, my kids and grandkids! I miss grocery shopping, going anywhere, making plans! I’m thankful you post your blog on Instagram, took FB off my phone and iPad, so I get to “see” you here! Thankful for virtual workouts, video chatting and grocery delivery! I’ll stop now, not a Gardener at all!

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Martha, I really hope you get to be with your people again soon and yes… making PLANS! I miss that. I’m so glad we still get to chat and I hope you get in a great virtual workout and a video chat with your favorite people. Thanks Martha!

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L-O-V-E bringing break dancing into one’s life! Brilliant!!

We are amazing beings, capable of so much. Times like this show it to us, if we accept the challenge(s), step up and execute. Roar, no fear, etc. We adapt and we can rise and grow/ develop. It’s positively empowering (and requires we do the work). Even though turbulence is uncomfortable, it ends. Ask any pilot ; )

I’m never going to complain about the goal of getting the country back 4.12.20 – Easter!

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You are so right… it does end!! I’m never going to complain about that goal either! Thanks Lee!

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I miss my coworkers’ annoying jokes that have (or rather had, bring them ON now! ha) become quite stale after 16 years :)

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I miss my friends. I miss going out and sitting on the restaurant patio and having a drink and deep fried pickles.

I miss the sense of security I had before this sand everything I took for granted. I miss wandering into my local coffee shop.

Have a great day Janae!

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My husband built a raised garden bed and we started our garden a couple months ago! We are enjoying home grown butter lettuce, spinach, cilantro, and hopefully some tomatoes soon. We’re just keeping our fingers crossed the garden lasts through the hot Arizona summer, we will see.

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Hello! Currently out of work massage therapist here! I miss treating patients and couldn’t resist commenting on John’s HL issue. I’ve successfully helped folks with this issue when it’s been caused by muscle imbalances causing tendinitis and trigger points. Seeing a sports massage therapist isn’t recommended at this time of social distancing but YouTube is an endless resource for all things self massaging. Paying particular attention to deep muscle groups can have a profound effect; make sure you’re getting into shin, calf and foot. https://youtu.be/7VjJfbtWxCU. I like this video for her attention to details but find tennis balls, golf balls or even softballs to be just as painful, I mean, effective. I would also recommend elevating your foot, especially at night. For inflammation purposes yes, but also to make sure there isn’t a habitual sleeping pattern jamming your toe in a funny position. You’d be surprised what damage we can do to ourselves just by sleeping! Best of luck! I know chronic pain is exhausting and disheartening.

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