Good morning!!
We had a pretty normal Sunday over here!
The highlight for the kids was definitely the dog pancakes.
And all of the matching and ballet dancing happening. Brooke starts ballet tomorrow and she is so excited!
We worked on Valentine’s Day mailboxes (Knox is making an astronaut).
And made a Macaroni Penguin out of macaroni noodles for a report.
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Let me start this post off by saying that my situation is very different than many working moms out there. I have had a lot of questions lately about how I balance the two things so I’m just sharing from my perspective. I am able to work about 30 hours a week with very random hours (early in the morning, when Skye naps, when Andrew isn’t working ((he works 3 days a week)) and I know that isn’t the case for others so I would love if I could hear everyone’s experience in the comments! Working, full-time at home (bc being a parent is a 168 hour a week job), no kids, one kid, lots of kids etc.
Here are my random thoughts about seeking balance, checking off the things that are important to me and still sleeping as much as a newborn haha.
*I ask for help. When marathon training was crazy last year and I just couldn’t get the energy to run, mom, work and clean… I hired cleaners to come. I cut out other things (like eyelashes/lululemon ha) to afford it and it changed my life. Now that I’m not training as hard I have the energy to clean again but for a season there, I would practically cry just thinking about scrubbing bathrooms so I asked for help. This has also been something I’ve had to learn in our marriage too. My personality wants to feel like I can DO IT ALL but I can’t and I’ve had to learn how to be more vulnerable and really ask for help from Andrew. I am very lucky to have a husband that truly loves to be active in every role… He changes as many diapers as I do, he cooks more than I ever will, he picks up like you wouldn’t believe (that one took a little training;) and the list goes on and on. We are equally nurturing and equally doing the other things needed to have a family (although I really wish we could trade off being pregnant;). This is what works for us and something I was definitely looking for in those dating years.
I think Andrew actually needs to write a guest post about how he balances fatherhood and working because it’s incredible to see how he can come home from a 12 hour shift and be so involved.
*I give up the things that just aren’t fitting into the day so that the important things do fit in. I don’t do the strength training that I should, I’m very simple with our meals (unless it’s a blue apron week which makes everyone happy ha), I do pretty much all of our shopping online and most days our clothes come from the pile of clean clothes in the laundry room that never ever get put away. I’ve learned to say no to events/activities/assignments that make me feel anxious because my plate is too full. I definitely used to go to every little thing that anyone ever invited me to because I felt like I needed to but with age I am SO happy that I’ve realized that my mental health of not being a stress case because I’m so busy is more important than pleasing others.
*As far as sleep goes… This is something I’ve really become passionate about lately (and I’m not talking about if in this season of life you don’t have the chance to sleep well or you struggle with insomnia… I’m just talking about if it is something you do have the option to choose). We invest a lot of time and thought into taking care of our health with the foods that we eat and the way we move our body but I truly believe that the rest that we give our bodies is so important like those other things for our overall health. When I do sleep well, it’s so much easier for me to get the important things done that I need to do each day. I want to live as long as I can (and run as fast as I can) by eating a variety of foods, exercising and sleeping so I have put all three of those things as priorities. I definitely know that a lot of sleep is not something that can happen at all stages of life (ie I don’t know what I’ll do when my kids are teens and out late) BUT if I can make choices that help me to get more sleep (ie put my phone away, choose sleep over tv etc) then I will make those choices. Better sleep leads to better balance for me!
Brooke has started wearing a sleep mask like I do ha… A fan in my room, zero electronics, this sleep mask, a weighted blanket and this pillow help me to sleep so much better.
Skye thinks she needs an eye mask too.
*There really isn’t one right way to be a mom or to balance it with everything else on your plate. I truly believe that there are so many ways to do it and we just have to really stick to what is right for us (and not what other people think we should be doing) and our families. The balance that is working for you might not work for someone else and that’s okay, we can all do it differently.
There is no such thing as perfection and as soon as guilt sets in with motherhood (no matter what your situation is), remember that connection is what matters! Whether that be a note in their school lunch, snacks on the weekends together, bedtime stories etc… focus on those little things rather than feeling overwhelmed by whatever you think you are not doing!
*My planner has really helped me to put things in perspective. It has an area for all of your to-dos but then you list the top 3. It helps me to see that I just need to get those top things accomplished and the other things will happen eventually but if they don’t, it’s okay… the top 3 did. It also has me enter in FUN into my days and I really think that is important because it’s so easy to get caught up in being busy and forgetting to have fun.
*I don’t post times on my blog for safety reasons but I’ll give you a rough outline of what my day looks like:
-Sometimes I get in a little work in before I run and sometimes I just give up the idea of getting anything done work-wise until Skye takes a nap.
-Depending on Andrew’s work schedule I’ll either run very early in the morning, run on the treadmill at home or run after Brooke and Knox go to school.
-I’ll do a little laundry, dishes, pick-up, shower, get Skye ready for the day, eat, play with her or take her somewhere fun.
-Feed Skye lunch, put her down for a nap, make lunch and eat it at my desk while I work for a few hours.
-Pick-up kids from school, do homework with them (unless Andrew is home then he usually does that while I get some work done), make lunches for the next day and think about what we should eat for dinner 5 minutes before we eat it;)
-Kids play while we try to get the house put together quickly and set out clothes for everyone for the next morning—> school clothes, my running clothes, Andrew’s work clothes etc… this part of our routine makes the next morning so much easier.
-Kids go to sleep and we hang out for a little while and now that Andrew works early in the morning, he is ready to get in bed by 9 with me.
-If we decide to ski that day then all routines/organization go out the window and there is no balance but that’s worth it for these really bonding days.
*I really think it is important to spend time each day taking care of you in order to take care of others. I think one of the many reasons that I really enjoy being a mother is because I spend time each morning doing something for me. Running gives me that time each day to focus on my growth and my passions so that I can give the rest of the day. Without having something for me, it is way harder to give give give all day. NEVER feel selfish for taking care of yourself because I think that it is a necessary part of having healthy relationships with others. Long story short, running helps me find balance.
*One thing that Andrew and I keep finding ourselves needing to improve on is that we keep putting kids/work/life ahead of going on dates so that is something we are constantly trying to fix. I think it is tricky for us with our kids going back and forth because we feel this need to utilize every minute that they are with us which is good but what we really need is to make sure we are spending time just the two of us no matter what the back and forth schedule is for the week.
*PLEASE remember when you look around at the people in your life and on social media that nobody is doing it all. You are not the one person out there that is saying no to things or dropping the ball in different areas of your life. Some weeks I rock it at work and feel like I missed it in motherhood and some weeks I feel like a rockstar mom while I’m just waiting to hear from you guys that I’m fired. Everyone is just attempting to do their best and kids are resilient and they forget all of the times that we fall flat on our faces:)
*Don’t forget to talk to yourself about balance the way you would talk to your best friend. If your best friend came to you telling you that they are doing a terrible job at balancing life you would reassure them that they are doing the best job they can and remind them of all of the amazing things they are doing. Do the same to yourself! Focus on all of the great things you are doing, not the things you are not doing!
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Tell me about your situation and how you seek balance or what your idea of balance really means!
Do you run at the same time each day or does it vary?
-At this point in life it’s kind of all over the place for me!
What is your run today?!
Least favorite chore at home… ie dishes, laundry, cooking etc?
47 comments
Jesseybell
One of the things I’ve really struggled with as my kids get older (they are in 8th and 5th grades) is their layer bedtimes. I used to count the minutes until they were in bed (and we’ve been blessed with pretty good sleepers) but now not only do I get zero time after they go to bed, I want to go to bed before them. My husband isn’t the greatest at getting them to go to bed when they should as he doesn’t believe sleep is important as I do. But now I shut the door, turn on my fan (white noise) and go to sleep.
This past fall I started working from home full time (same job, they were just downsizing our office space). I am still trying to get a routine. I drop off 1 kid and then do have time to workout between either getting the other kid to the bus or bringing him to school. Getting the workouts in is still a work in progress.
We stretch ourselves financially to afford cleaners every other week. Otherwise it wasn’t getting done or caused huge fights. We did have several years we couldn’t afford it and it was hard. I’ve tried to get my husband to hire lawn people but I think he uses mowing the lawn as an excuse not to do inside chores.
Working from home with kids at home – I don’t know how you do it! I pray for you that Skye keeps napping – both my kids stopped when they were two and it is hard!!!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Jessey! I can totally see why you are struggling with that! Right now we put all three down at the same time, I can’t imagine layering bedtimes and them being up later and later. Thank goodness for white noise ha. I bet finding that time to workout each day is hard but you are doing an amazing job. I am also currently trying to convince Andrew to hire someone for the yard work because it is just so much time! Hahaha I totally agree.. I hope she naps for at least another 4 years;) . We’ve also decided that we will hire in someone to come over for a few hours on those days that Andrew is at work (his 4 days off at work makes it possible to work with kids at home:). Hope your day is a beautiful one and thank you so much for sharing! Cheering you on!
Amanda H
Yes to the later bedtimes! I have a 7th & 3rd grader, and my oldest thinks she should be able to stay up until midnight every night because her friends do. No…they REALLY do. I have seen the late messages her friends send, even pushing 1am on a school night! We don’t even allow her to charge her phone in her room (my husband keeps his phone in our room because he sometimes gets late-night work calls), which she tells us all the time is SO unfair. I feel like my husband & I are in the minority of “old school” parenting, but there you have it. The oldest turns 13 in May, and heaven help us, because she is so much more emotional than I ever was. We both work full-time, and our girls are active with sports/activities, which is great but it keep us feeling like we are in fast-forward most days. I know it will slow down eventually/all too soon, so I try to keep calm & carry on. Know that I’m right there with you Jessey! :)
The Hungry Runner Girl
MIDNIGHT (and even 1 a.m.)?! That is unreal and so so so not good for their growing bodies and minds. I think you guys are 100% doing the right thing and I’ll be right there with you with the old school parenting. You are amazing Amanda and thanks for supporting Jessey!
jessey
Amanda- 13 year old girls really are soul crushing. We have tried to get the phone out of her room with little success, but we have turned off her access starting at 9:30 (we have to leave the house at 7:00 am so she is supposed to be up at 6:30). Before we stopped her access and we did have her phone in our room, we were surprised how late some kids were messaging/posting to social media. Sleep is SO important for us all!
Noel
Amanda, my daughter is almost 15 and I started to take her phone and charge in the office when she was 13. It works like a charm she knows now when she goes to bed at 9 plug in your phone say goodnight and get a good nights rest. I know I am a strict mom but I am ok with that because I hate social media for children.?
Kel
This is somewhat random, but after you gave up your eyelash extensions what has your makeup routine been like? I have had them for a long time and even when they start to fall out I’ve become dependent on getting refills etc. which I don’t think is good!
Krystal
I work a 7:30 – 4, Monday – Friday office job and my husband is a medic / firefighter gone for 12-24 hours at a time. Our days are inconsistent at best and I feel like no one can keep it straight, me included haha! Some days there’s daycare drop off, some days they are home with daddy. Some days I pick up from daycare, some days daddy does! It sounds all over the place but I feel like kids with parents that work weird shifts just adjust and makes going with the flow a little easier (some days). I try and get stuff done during the week so we can maximize our weekend time. I hate feeling like I’m spending my days off doing stuff around the house. I usually do laundry once we get home and tend to spend 30 minutes after the kids go to bed doing one chore (bathrooms, dishes, quick dusting, etc). Then, I sit my butt on the couch and start watching my shows ;)
Have a great day, Janae!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Krystal, you guys are all so good at going with the flow and flexibility with those shifts. I applaud you all! I hope that your weekends are free and amazing from here on out and I think you are just doing an amazing job balancing it all! Thanks Krystal and you too!
Mollie
Haha, you are never fired.
I struggle with this a LOT. Three years ago I went from working in an office with a horrible commute to working from home (after a move) and it has helped me a ton. I had my second kid right around the time we moved and I don’t know if I could have done the commute/office 8-5 life without really losing it. Now I can do some things around the house or prep dinner while I work (and RUN AT LUNCH!!) while my kids are in daycare. It’s never easy, but it’s so important to try and find a routine that works! And I agree, every month or so we’ll have a cleaner come do a deep clean so help ease the stress. I can’t do it all and I start getting really mad/frustrated with my family when I feel like I have an overwhelming amount of housework AND work to do (and parenting). I feel like they can’t see how much I ACTUALLY do! Thank goodness for running haha. :)
The Hungry Runner Girl
Some weeks (especially during the summer ha) I really think you guys might hahaha;)
Oh I cannot even imagine adding a commute to the formula. I am so glad that you guys were able to move so you can get in a few things while the kids are in daycare. Thank goodness for amazing cleaners and running! You are doing amazing Mollie and I’m thankful I get to be a part of your crazy schedule too. Thank you and I’m cheering for you!
Mary
Least favorite chore dusting (because we have so much clutter to clear off in order to dust) and cleaning the floors. I don’t even own a mop so you can know that doesn’t get done! Haha. We recently got a dog that sheds and It’s overwhelming how much I have to vacuum now! You mentioned your favorite vacuum one time – what was that again?
Jenni
Ahhh, I relate to the commute thing. I feel bad though – I don’t have kids so my “stress” is a different ballgame than the stress of having kids/handling all of that (lol) – I have so much respect for parents!! Nevertheless, I feel like the commute is killing me, I often think about finding work that’s closer to where I am but that brings new obstacles (less options, less money). The hardest part for me sometimes is figuring out when to workout. Because I’m injured, I can’t just “pop out the door”. Getting to the gym or pool is an added commute and I often have to plan my day around when/where I can shower.
Janae, good on you for the cleaner – I did that a couple of years ago when I was working 7 days a week, 12-14 hours a day (though I can still do that hah). I felt so bad about the money – and it’s just me! – but honestly, I’m not a good cleaner and had other priorities, and this made me feel better about coming back to a clean place rather than my random “spot-cleaning”…
Chloe
Lol re the laundry!! My boys (6 and 4 this year) know they have to go to the dryer to look for clean clothes. On the days I actually fold laundry my older one goes to the dryer and he’s like MUMMY WHERE ARE THE CLOTHES???
I’ve got part-time cleaning help too! A nice lady comes once a week. My favourite “chore” is cooking. I’m ok with most other things, but we get the cleaning help because… it helps!
I try to run in the morning most days, because it’s just easier and I like it.
Balance for me is when I’m able to do what I chose to prioritise. On a normal weekday my top priorities are cooking dinner and getting my workout in if I’ve got one scheduled, and I’ll have one or two other main ones depending on the day, plus mini goals for work.
Melissa
My husband works as a CPA and sometimes works long days. Thankfully we are able to keep me home part time so I work 2 12 hour shifts a week as an RN. My mom watches our son on the weekdays I work and my husband has him on the weekends. It is such a nice balance for us. Although me being gone a lot of weekends kind of stinks, it is what is working for us now!
I usually always work out in the morning. Unless I am too tired ha and then I move it to the afternoon but that is rare. I always lose motivation as the day goes on!
Least favorite chore….. putting away laundry or putting away dishes from the dishwasher. I don’t mind the doing but the putting away kills me!
Have a great day Janae!!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Melissa, I am SO glad that you guys have been able to figure out such a wonderful schedule for you guys. When Andrew is working weekend shifts I always feel so bummed for him. You are doing so great! Do you work out before your 12 hour shifts? I’m with you on those chores and get excited for your son to be able to put away the dishes… life changing when Brooke and Knox started doing that ha. Thanks Melissa and you too!
Melissa
When I was younger I used to go for a run after my shift… now not so much lol. I figure I walk enough during those 12 hours that it counts as a workout right? And yes I am looking forward to the days when I can hand out household chores :)
Sydney ☀️
Through the years I’ve learned the best system is whatever works best for you! ? I still struggle with saying no to things. What’s maybe even worse Is I struggle when I do say yes to something I want to do. I feel unnecessary anxiety leading up to the planned date like will I be late? Will I be crabby and not want to socialize? Will I keep checking to the time to see when it’s appropriate to go home? In the end I’m usually happy I made time to “get out there” but is it really so bad to be a homebody? ? ? it’s all about balance! ☀️
And now your questions!!
1. I basically covered this ? but I will add it’s important to practice self care too. Whatever that means to you.
2. I workout ?♀️ at different times every day but much prefer the morning. It’s a nice way to start the day and there is no fear of oh my goodness I’m running out of time to workout!
3. Today is interval day woohoo! ?
4. Least favorite chore is the bathroom. ? ? When my kids were younger I think laundry was my least favorite. Not so much the act of putting things into the washer and then the dryer. It was the putting everything away part. I remember dumping laundry on the bed and feeling frustrated on how to begin finding matching kiddo socks. Haha. I also become a hot mess if my kitchen isn’t neat and tidy before ?. I sleep better knowing I will wake up with a fresh start.
So are you watching the bachelor this season? If so what are your thoughts?
Are you missing Friends on Netflix yet?
Did you know there is an older season of The Bachelor on Netflix? It’s Jason Mesnick’s season. I watched the season back when it was new and it’s worth a rewatch. He was the first single dad bachelor who pulled the first switch a roo at the end! My husband enjoyed watching this season with me too! ?
Have a wonderful day and let’s make this one of the best weeks ever! ?
The Hungry Runner Girl
Sydney, I know exactly what you are saying. Sometimes it really is hard to say yes to the things that we love too because of fear. You are not alone and I can’t tell you how many times I have told Andrew, ‘thanks for getting me out to that… I’m glad we went’ because I was stressed before. I hope you have an amazing interval workout and I’m cheering for you. The putting away part is the worst and I agree, a clean kitchen is a must! I haven’t really this season… I saw one, should I catch up? I didn’t know it was on Netflix… what?! Oh I miss friends so much! What are we going to do without it? Thanks Sydney and YOU TOO!
Jenn
It’s soooo easy to get caught up in life especially as a parent to forget date nights. This is a constant struggle for us too! I haven’t run in over a week and have already missed 2 long runs because of a nasty sinus infection. That said whenever I do get to run again should I just pick up where my schedule is or go back to where I stopped running?
The Hungry Runner Girl
Hey Jenn! Let’s work on the date night thing together mmkay? I am SO sorry about your sinus infection, those are TERRIBLE! If it were me in that situation, I would probably pick up where I left off and then try to bump it up in a few weeks to catch up with the plan. BUT if you get back to running and you are feeling good enough to resume training then I would do that. I really hope you are back soon but I think the best advice for this would probably be less is more…. better to get to the starting line a little undertrained than not at all because of injury from bumping it up too much. Keep me updated!
Becky Przy
OH goodness my husband I just had a talk/disagreement about this today! I was a SAHM for 5+ years and took care of all the cleaning, cooking, bath, bedtime, laundry, scheduling, parenting, etc. Now I work mostly FT (my schedule varies) but I am feeling so overwhelmed with “doing it all” and I feel like I am failing miserably at it all. I get frustrated with my husband because his brain is wired so differently–he does what he wants to get done and the rest will get done eventually (or I do it). I am trying to realize that spending time with my kids is the most important (my husband too, but our work hours are opposite) and the rest can wait. I get up early to run so I can have my evenings with the kids. Sleep has become a huge priority and I mostly go to bed 5 minutes after my kids;-) This is all over the place, but basically we are still trying to find balance!
kelly
Great post! Knox is very intent on the Valentine’s mailbox. I love it! so sweet! tell Brooke to enjoy Ballet!!! and I’m sure she’ll teach Skye.
I am a single mama with 4 kiddos. Don’t gasp…. nowadays three have grown and flown…… but they still message me A LOT about things (college schedule, how to call the dentist, how to make lasagna, etc) My youngest is now just shy of 15 and he keeps me on my toes and feeling either really old (tired) or really young (music). It’s totally hard, especially when all 4 were home and in activities. But I also really appreciated my circumstance of being a single parent and not having toxicity and fear in my life. So that made it “easier.” Running is me time and these days with kids being older and independent it’s a lot easier than when they were young. I used to put the littles in the jogger and the bigs on their bike.
We are in the middle of weather warnings so running or cycling outside was not going to happen. And, school was cancelled (school is NEVER cancelled so yeah!) I did yoga this morning then strength training in the afternoon. The winds are crazy high for us so it was interesting watching all the debris fly by.
I detest dishes because they occur so quickly after cooking. 2nd is general picking up. I feel like it creates another mess elsewhere and I get tired of picking up behind the kiddo so often I leave it and create a pile in the corner for him to tend to.
Oh, today I made Nikki’s Healthy Cookies (from 101 Cookbooks.) They are a great way to use up bananas.
Have a great week!!!
Kate
Thanks for sharing this, I think it helps when everyone shares this kind of information- the more we know, the less we will have “mommy wars” or whatever-all of our situations are unique, so no sense judging what others do right?
I work about 30 hours a week outside the home-but I work school hours so that is incredibly helpful. Also my kids are older than yours so I just have to get one to school, and he often rides his bike there too.
I try to have all workouts done before 7 am so I can pack lunches/make breakfast etc and out the door by 8. Usually home from work/ school pickup by 330-4 so that’s when I’ll do laundry etc. my husband also helps with all household chores too. I don’t meal prep per se but I usually have a couple days worth of meals planned and shop ahead so I *try* not to have to shop every day! I also order stuff from amazon (cleaning supplies etc) so I don’t have to think about that. I also have a rule that all week night meals are 30 min or less prep time ( am a chef so makes that easy haha)-just like you I eliminate stress wherever I can).
We are terrible about date nights and stuff too so trying to get better with that! It’s so easy to “just stay home” when you’re tired and all but I know it’s important to make the time. Still, we’ve been happily married since 1996 (I know! Old!)
Great post!
Erica
Great post.
Whenever Chris and I feel like Hope or the family unit is coming before just us, we also remember that we are the model to her about what a marriage or relationship looks like. (So still indirectly about her, that stinker) But reminds us to show the relationship as we would like her to see!
I am also still sleeping like a newborn. ;)
Jenny
Wow, if Skye isn’t turning into Brooke’s twin!
My days are filled with fight or flight … but seeing as how I have kids, I can’t really fly! Ha! I wake up @ 4 am to run or go to the gym, come home to make breakfast and lunches, help my youngest get ready for school and I go to work from 7:30-4:30. Their dad takes them to school and picks them up. I come home by 5 and their dad goes to work and I finish making dinner/clean up/play (aka wrestle my little man while my oldest does homework) then it’s showers/read/lights out repeat M-F. My only downtime is when I’m working out. I know you understand how that’s downtime! lol! Sat-Sun it’s a free for all unless the kids have swim/baseball etc.
No run today; today was strength training. I had a great impromptu run yesterday though as we needed a couple things from the store for breakfast so I made a run out of it! It was only 3 miles RT but it was fabulous!
Least favorite chore: dishes! I think I block out the major suckiness that is scrubbing toilets/mopping/etc and just power through because it has to be done, but dishes are NEVER ending!
Have a great day!
Courtney
I work from home ( approx 25-30 hours/week). In an effort to “take back” my life and not feel like I’m constantly answering work emails at all hours of the day, leading people to expect me to be available 24/7 I attempt to work while my daughter is at school. Obviously not possibly for you right now with Skye, but it helps me keep work hours and have my time to myself in the evening.
I like to Peloton during the day before I lose motivation, so I do have to overlap work time after school, but I work on my laptop upstairs on the couch while the kids play and relax after school. I found that so often after school I’d say “I just need to run down to my office for a minute” which turned into 20 minutes of my daughter sitting alone upstairs while I worked. Now I’m right beside her answering emails while she has a snack or relaxes after school.
Working from home is such a blessing to have time as a family, for flexibility on sick days and things like spring break. It’s so important for us to be there for our kids, but we need a bit of sanity too. I say that I often feel like everybody gets 75%, but nothing ever gets 100% of my focus…
Kristen
Balance is SUCH a struggle for me! I am a reading specialist and love that my calendar/schedule is the same as my kiddos’s schedule. But, being a full-time working mom is tough, especially during marathon training! Right now, my schedule looks like this: wake up at 5:00 to run with the girls at 5:30. I’m running anywhere from 4-10 miles during the week. And, on those 10-mile mornings I really have to hustle home to get ready! :) My husband is great and makes sure the kids have breakfast. And, something I HAVE to do is make our lunches the night before. Then, when we get home from school, I try to squeeze in my strength training (I’ve been doing the runner’s strength program that you recommended from Muncher Cruncher since October and I really like it!). Then, it’s hurry and make dinner and then take kids wherever they need to go (soccer, dance, church, etc.). After my kids go to bed (9:00ish), I know I should go to bed, too, but I NEED downtime after going all day. So, I’m usually going to bed around 11:00. Usually, cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping happens on the weekends or whenever I can fit it in. Ha!
Stephanie
My son is 4 months old and I work from home in project management. I keep him home with me because A) daycare is super expensive- I would only be working to pay for daycare if we sent him so I would probably quit my job and B) I dont want him going to daycare lol. So I am learning how to balance my job and making sure he gets the attention he needs. What I am finding that helps to balance everything is I am taking advantage of grocery pick up when grocery shopping used to be my favorite thing ever and also costco delivery (costco is my favorite store so it makes me sad not to go right now). I have found an at home workout program I love and squeeze in a few days a week and I rotate it with getting out in the evenings for burn bootcamp. I make sure to tell myself weekends are reserved for being lazy with my hubby and son and sundays we make NO plans except family time. I plan to keep this like that when my son is older- no friends over on sundays its for family movies, games etc;
Marissa
Such a good blog post! Balance is tough!!
I’m lucky in that I can be home when my kids are home (I teach high school as does my husband). We work really hard at working out while the kids are still sleeping (teenagers so that helps). They have recently started going to bed on their own too so that lets me go to bed about 30 min before then. Otherwise, we lay on the couch and read for about 30 min before bed.
Today’s run was a nice easy 6 with friends so we can do some speed tomorrow!
Least favorite chore at home is probably putting away laundry.
Torrie
Oh my gosh this post really speaks to me, especially right now. I have two little ones, 4 years and 18 months old, and they go to daycare full time. I work full time, mostly from home, but I do go into the office a couple times a week. My husband works a lot and travels frequently so I have kid duty the majority of the time. I do all daycare drop offs and pick ups, make dinners, do baths and bedtime routine for the younger one, etc. I also do all the laundry, cleaning and home chores as well. It is a lot. I am able to squeeze workouts in and they truly do keep me sane. I do not know how you get work done with Skye at home! You are a rock star! When my kids have to be home (because of illness or school closings, etc) I find it so hard to get work done! Sacred nap time of course but nap is only 2 hours of the day!
Regardless of anyone’s schedule out there I think all moms are amazing. We are all doing hard things and balancing so much every day!
Liz
I love hearing about other people’s routines. I also love that you throw the routine out the window for ski days. I once read a blog post online from a woman whose mother required the entire family to clean for several hours every Saturday morning. This woman said that the rigidity and the refusal to let the family do something fun on one of their only days off really affected her and reading it really stuck with me. Ever since then, I’ve made a big effort to not let chores/routine household stuff take over the available time off that I have. I’d rather squeeze a quick load of laundry in after a long day at work than spend time doing it on Sunday; even though I like routines and I like starting the new week with a “clean slate,” chores are not a hobby and my time off is too precious to waste on them! Good for you getting out there for ski days and quality time with the kids – spontaneity and fun family time is so important.
Haley
What a great post! Thanks for sharing and for offering such great advice!
Gillian
I am a stay at home mom (for the moment) to 3 kids. My two older are in school during the day but my 1.5 yr old is with me at home. I’m a single parent and going to school full time (taking a college program online) and I came to the conclusion that I can’t do it all lol. I made the decision to place my little one in daycare twice a week so I could use those days to focus on school work and house clean up and as hard as it was at first (mom guilt!) I am finding it to be my saving grace as it gives me dedicated study time and thus cuts down on my stress levels and my assignments are done before the due dates.
I also have started getting up earlier to workout before the day officially starts. So far it’s challenging but its my designated “me” time and it’s starting my day on a positive note.
Danielle Turk-Bly
I really liked this post! Balance is a huge struggle for me, especially as a mother/homeschooler runner. I don’t live near family or have someone to help out most days so my husband is someone I depend a lot on. He works 80 hours per week, but he is the first one to drop everything if I am struggling. I had the stomach bug yesterday and he worked from home this morning just to make sure I could get in some rest. I love what you said about Andrew, because I feel the same way about my husband Ryan; I couldn’t do it without him. I am always aiming for quality moments with my littles and I love your tips.
Michele at Everyday Snapshot
I am a work at home Mom very similar situation to yours. I run a blog and also do paperwork for a company at home. I have 1 kiddo, in school. My husband is a 3rd shifter, so you basically feel like a single mom as far as schedules and family time goes. I try to run/exercise in the morning, it’s just best for me. By the time supper, homework/read, baths, set out stuff for next day… I’m whooped and it usually doesn’t happen at all unless it’s in the morning. So I try real hard to get up before everyone else. I fail at being consistent with my blog because I put the other company’s paperwork first. I fail at sleep at this point in life, it’s a work in progress. Your connection saying is perfect, I love that. This morning I was limited, but I got 1 quick mile ran. I figured, it’s better than nothing at all. Makes such a huge difference. My least favorite house chore is dusting ! I really don’t mind most chores but to move things, dust and put them back or just dust in general… totally my least favorite. You’re so right in how important it is to caring for yourself and putting it first. It’s very hard to care for your family when you run on empty.
Kristine Chew
My situation is a bit different because we don’t have kiddos, but I started biking to work (between 10 – 13km depending on the route) and takes about 45 minutes to 1 hour each way (most of it on a bike path). I think this will become my time and this morning was gorgeous riding from home to work. I am a morning runner because usually it is after 6 and dark when I get home and my motivation is zilch. That and my partner is usually wanting some quality time before I uh fall asleep on him (usually by 9 pm or earlier poor guy).
And I will admit that because my partner has a much more flexible schedule he picks up a lot of the slack at home. And also, I love the clean clothes picked straight out of the laundry (I used to do that all the time and it made my partner insane haha).
I hope you have a wonderful day Janae!
Laura
We are a dual FT working parents out of the home. Until the last year we both traveled often for work until I had to switch jobs and my husband’s has been essentially 50-100% travel for the last 10 months (was weekly, now biweekly). I have a 3rd grader and PreKer. We hired a cleaner for once every 3-4 weeks after my 2nd was born (game changer). Finding time and a schedule/cadence since the travel situation with my husband has been hard. But I will either get up super early and workout while the kids are sleeping or leave them at their after school care until the last possible minute to get a run in. I also will call my neighbor high school or junior high kids to come hang out with the kids. In fact, last Friday was a snow day for us and I had a long run on the schedule. I last minute called my neighbor (and by call I mean text) who came over for 4 hours while I went to the rec center to run (I need a treadmill at home!!) and ran to the grocery store. I don’t have localized support really so It’s a struggle and juggle daily, but I figure it out. I wish I had a stronger support and run group, because most days it would be ok to run in the morning, but getting up early after single parenting or hanging out with your spouse until 10 is exhausting. I usually just roll over and say I will figure it out. Some days that is cutting work early to get my run or workout in.
Cait
Thank you for this post! It is so important that us moms recognize that we can’t do it all, and we HAVE to know when to say no, when to ask for help, and when to let things drop. I have two small kids (and #3 on the way!), and I work from home full time. Workouts are sporadic, sleep is all over the place, housework is a minimum, and family time is #1. Something that has really helped me is to recognize all the seasons to life–letting different things take priority for a season doesn’t reflect on my abilities as an employee, mom, wife, or friend! It’s just what is most important today. We all just do what we can to survive! Love to all the mommas out there!
Robyn
Where is your cute dining table/chairs from?!
The Hungry Runner Girl
RC Willey wahoo:) Have a great evening Robyn!
Makena
Janae,
Running off Sundance and London on a whim isn’t reality…Do you understand that?
Lee
Hi HRG, I think this post is well written! I super-like the content!!
Hate cleaning the toilets – there are self-cleaning ovens, why not toilets??? If there are, they are probably expensive.
CHALLENGE (What do you think?): Lay out clothes for the WEEK (excluding ski gear). Think of it like a capsule on a little rack. Then you’re doing it one night a week. Your fashion is pretty close to your nutrition, right? (One week/ mo. for something different.) As I think about this for your house, maybe just your clothes. But, others may catch on. You’re thinking about it ; ) !
Paige Cassandra Flamm
I get two hours of work in each day when my daughter is in kindergarten (so excited for full day first grade next year so both kids will be full-time haha!), and then I pick her up and we eat lunch and then I’m usually taking her to a therapy appointment before getting my son at school in the afternoon and then hoping into homework and dinner mode. Then it’s usually more work for a couple hours and then a late night treadmill run (9pm in the garage haha!) Tonight I got 4 miles outside in the daylight when my hubby got home though and being in the fresh air felt like a HUGE luxury!
Paige
http://thehappyflammily.com
Rachael
Lucky kiddos to have you two. Once you let go of “suppose to” parenting is a lot more fun. I wake up insanely early, like 3:30 some days, but go to bed with my kids around 7:30 sometimes so it works out. I quit trying to have “me time” in the evenings. It was a relief! One thing I do that I love, is to have a set menu. We have certain food on certain days. I set a schedule for leftovers, tacos, Italian, soup, burgers, and Asian. My kids love having the routine much more than I thought they would. I also always double batch and freeze the soup so I only have to cook it twice a month. We have it Wednesdays because I work later and my oldest has ski practice. Routines are the best! Pretty lame, but the best. Plus, it’s exciting when you shake it up. Love your blog, thank you for the continuous inspiration!
Alyssa
Thanks for this post. I’m not a mom yet, but I’m actively starting to work on all of these things now! (like asking for help, being my own best friend, letting go of perfection, etc) In hopes that I can be a better mom some day :) PS I’ve also had the realization that I need to eat more…..no more letting myself be hungry all the time. It’s a work in progress. Thanks for all you do! You are a good inspiration for me.
Nikki
This post is exactly what I needed, thank you! I know I’m a day or so behind reading but this came at the right time. I have a feisty 2 1/2 year old and am due with #2 in a few weeks and have been stressing about how am I going to do this motherhood thing with two?! I am in the military too so life is very crazy. I’ve learned to get my me time in everyday working out and/or running, some days that happens at 0330 before work and others (usually the weekends) requires me to turn the tv on and let him play away while I workout. It took me a long time to realize early mornings worked best during the week and that tv time was ok on the weekend. Now adding in a second though scares me and hopefully I can make that transition easier this time around b/c I crave those workouts and runs!! Thank you again for this post!