What to do when your race doesn’t go according to plan + Andrew’s New Job

Andrew had work and I somehow managed to be five minutes early to church with all three kids.  This was a first.

Church went really well too… Skye sat on Knox’s lap for a while and then colored.  I actually heard what the speakers were saying for the first time in a while;)

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We decorated gingerbread houses.

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And then our families came over to celebrate Skye’s birthday!

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Chicken Cream Cheese Chili, Sweet Kale Salad (from Costco), grapes and Rhodes rolls for dinner.

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And more cake.

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My dad going through my nephew’s texts to the the girl he likes hahaha:

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And Skye loves looking at ducks with my mom on her phone.

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Some fun news:  Andrew just got hired for a new job!  His last position completely understands him moving to a different area because it will help him to continue his path towards going to NP school.  He will now be working in the Cardiovascular ICU and he is really excited about it!

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I’m not an expert about a lot of things in life but I think I can say that I officially am an expert (and I know a lot of you reading are also because that’s just how running goes;) on having a bad race ha.   I’m very proud of my time for CIM of course but I knew from the beginning it was one of those off days and it was going to be a fight from the beginning… not just the last 8 miles.  I wanted to share some of the things that helped me to keep moving forward.  With this post I’m not talking about races where you are injured or if finishing the race is going to effect your health negatively… I’m just talking about when things go terrible in a race and your goal goes from a specific time to just making it to the finish line alive.

I had a mini breakdown at this point in the race because I just felt so bad when I saw Andrew that he had sacrificed so much for me to get to this race and I knew how off I felt and that it wasn’t happening.  BUT of course he does all of that because he loves me, not for a specific time on the clock:)

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*I remember thinking this below at CIM when I kept seeing perfect opportunities for me to step off of the course and sit on the curb and cry.  I thought about the fact that I had trained hard to see the finish line, I had traveled and left my kids to be there, I had put my heart into this race and so I wasn’t going to come THIS far to only come THIS far.  I was going to come this far to get to the finish line.

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*I think this applies to every race BUT especially to when you are hurting.  Make the tiniest goals on the planet.  During CIM I remember just thinking about how all I had to do was make it to Andrew, or make it until my watch beeped again or to even just make it the next quarter mile (hence why I lapped my watch at the end with a quarter of a mile because that was all I could take at a time)!

*READJUST.  Switch your thinking from hitting exact paces to just doing what you need to do to stay in the game.  Leading up to CIM I am pretty sure I almost wrote 6:16 in permanent marker on my forehead because I was so consumed by that number but after I got to the half and realized that how I felt was NOT changing and that it was just a really bad day, I readjusted.  I settled into different paces and adapted to the new plan of finishing.

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*Ask yourself honestly, ‘Am I doing the best I can in the moment?”  Every single time I asked myself that during CIM I could answer yes.  I was feeling really dizzy and just knew that what I was doing was my absolute best.  We don’t go to races to prove something to the world with our times, we go there to give our absolute best that day.  I was doing that and if you can do that during a race that is going bad for you, then you are absolutely succeeding.

*I reminded myself there is always another race.  Now CIM was kind of dramatic… AHHH I HAVE ONE CHANCE TO OTQ before they probably lower the qualification time… BUT I’ve already found some new goals/ideas that really excite me.  Goals that make my heart beat fast and my palms sweaty.  Sure CIM was a huge race for me but there is more and more out there that I can do and work towards!  It’s never the end of the road for us!

*Remember that you aren’t alone in this and we are all here cheering for you.  For a minute after CIM I felt like I must surely be the only person to have made a big goal and fallen short of it by a lot but after posting about it on social media I was quickly reminded by so many of you that YOU GET IT.  We all get it.

*Try to absorb any energy you can from around you.  I remember seeing Jen at around mile 20.5 and thinking about how I was going to absorb the energy she was sending me and use that to finish the dang race.

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*Think about it this way… it’s pretty much guaranteed that you are going to have some bad races leading up to your breakthrough race and so you are just getting that out of the way for you to really have an incredible race soon!

*I kept telling myself over and over again that quitting wasn’t an option (remember, no injury or major health concerns) and so I just needed to come up with other options because jumping on that bus wasn’t going to be how my CIM story ended that day.  Become the world’s best problem solver.

*It was so easy to just drown myself in sadness during CIM and that is completely normal to feel sad when you work so hard towards a goal and it doesn’t happen.  Sadness wasn’t going to get me to the finish line so I kept choosing gratitude instead.  I chose to be grateful for the fact that I was there and healthy.  I chose to be grateful for the fact my shoulders weren’t hurting (because pretty much everything else was) etc. etc.

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I’d love to hear from you about different ways that you have powered through a bad race in the past?!

Which race has been the absolute hardest for you?

Anyone start a new job recently?

What’s your run today?

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51 comments

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What you said about all the bad races before a breakthrough is so true. I had a coach tell
me, after a string of bad half marathons where I could not break from a particular time, that it was going to be so fun to watch when running faster clicked for me. It took FOUR races run at the exact same pace and one a tiny bit faster before I had a big breakthrough and a huge PR. I’m so glad I stuck it out because I’m finally hitting the goals I knew I could hit! If I had given up after that 3rd failure I would have missed out on so much. Thank you for all of the inspiration! We all get it, and we’re all in this together! <3

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Oh yes Mollie, I am so glad you shared this with us because I totally agree! You are amazing to keep going with it and to keep working hard without the instant gratification! That breakthrough race probably felt so incredible because you had overcome so much! I can’t wait to see where you go next with your running. You are on fire! Have a beautiful day!

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You shouldn’t even call it a “BAD” race. It was an amazing race, sub 3 hour marathon. I know you are disappointed that you did not meet your goal, but look at the awesome things your body can do. That is still a very amazing pace and better than most people can ever run in their lifetime. I have run 2 marathons at around 4.5 hours, I would love to even get under 4 hours. Try to keep things in perspective and try to be positive. I’m sure you will meet your goal eventually, but be proud of your current accomplishments. You are an awesome runner just the way you are. I am impressed-stay positive!

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Hey Sara! I totally agree with you but also see it a lot different too HahHa (it that makes sense)! I am so proud of my time… for sure! But, I felt bad from the first step and I’ve never felt that way in a marathon before. It was bad in the way that I felt so off and that marathon pace felt like a sprint even on the downhills! Just like when any of us go for a run and can tell it’s a good running day or a bad running day… just part of the sport. I’m cheering for you and I hope you keep me updated on how your running is going!!!

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Happy birthday Skye and congrats to Andrew! My boys are 2.5 and I am always amazed when they are calm enough in church that I can pay attention lol :)

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I seriously can’t even imagine two Skye’s right now! You are amazing and I bet they have such a blast together! Hahah that’s how I felt yesterday… I was seriously shocked! I hope you are having the best morning so far!

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When the stars are aligning in our life (or our running life) I think the first dose of reality is always the hardest disappointment. Not only does it break the streak of breakthroughs, but it also breaks the good feels that we have been riding for so long. I am now officially old enough to know the next period of aligning will come it may not come instantly.

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Yes yes yes I totally agree and that is exactly what happened to me and maybe that is why it felt like it stung a bit more ha! I’m with you now though, it might be a little while again before it all aligns again! You always understand just how I feel and I’m so thankful for our friendship. Have the best day Erica!

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Congratulations Andrew! I’ve been an ICU nurse for 8 years now and love it! You will definitely get the experience you need to become a NP!

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CIM was tough! I hit survival mode early too, which s’cked. I wanted a new PR. I barely avoided a personal worst.
Everyone said it’s an easy course but the hills in the first half were no joke.
Did you see the guy with the sign that said, “Can I Call You An UBER?” It was tempting.
Hopefully 2020 has better races for both of us!

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OH NO! I am so sorry that you had a bad day too but congrats on FINISHING! You are amazing and 2020 will be amazing. Also, that sign… I LOVE IT and I wish I would have seen it!

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Great news for Andrew!! That’s amazing! I’ve been searching/interviewing for new jobs for about two months now (I’m a CPA at a big public accounting firm and am just so burnt out from long hours). Nothing has been working out or even really calling to me for the matter. Until I found my DREAM JOB. Which is crazy to me because I’ve struggled to figure out what I really want to do for a while now. Everything was going so well and my in person interviews went amazing. I was on cloud 9 and ready to put in my notice (a day I’ve been dreaming of for over a year now). I received a call from the recruiter on Friday and was told I was the #1 pick for the job but due to some end of year budgeting concerns they are no longer hiring. I felt heartbroken. I still do. I read your blog everyday and I knew I could come here for a positive message and support. Thank you x9382495718 for being positive even in negative situations and especially for sharing that with your audience. The world needs more of that. I’m definitely trying to feel grateful for the opportunities I do have and not focus on feeling so defeated.

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Haley, I don’t know you at all but just wanted to say I feel for you!! I’m in a similar position, without the promise of a dream job yet but still in the searching period and anxiously awaiting putting that notice in whenever it may be. It’s easy to say don’t worry, something even better will come along, and while I 100% believe that for you I also know how disappointed you might feel. Just wanted to share some encouragement and I hope you have a beautiful holiday season. Fingers crossed for new opportunities in 2020 :)

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Emailing you right now!

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Congratulations to Andrew! I am actually starting a new job today – one that I hope will stick for awhile! :)

Hardest race for me thus far was Marine Corps Marathon in 2016. Not that the course was really that bad but it was my third marathon block in a row (fall 2015 – spring 2016 – fall 2016) and it was after this race that I realized that my body does not really enjoy so many marathon blocks in a row.

No run today – spinning class instead. Have a great Monday!

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It’s amazing what a difference your attitude can make in a race. During my first marathon I dreamed about going under 4 hours. My training went really well and I felt like I was ready. But on the day of the race everything seemed to go wrong. I reached the half way mark at about 2 hours, and I couldn’t imagine being able to keep the pace for another half marathon. Mentally I checked out and ended up doing a lot of walking. It was my first marathon, I should have been focused on just finishing and not worrying about the pace. Eventually I started jogging again, and finished in about 4:30. I was so disappointed, I wasn’t disappointed with my time, I was disappointed that I let myself give up after all that hard work that I had put into it. That race haunted me for two years, until I had a chance to come back to repeat it. The second time my training went even better, and I knew I could do it. However, things never quite go as planned, and 3 weeks before the marathon I found out that I was pregnant (I would be 8 weeks along on race day). I wasn’t sure if I could even run it, and not at all worried about my finish time. The taper was a huge roller coaster. There were days when I couldn’t run an easy 5km without taking a walk break, and other days when I could go out and run my normal pace no problem. I was mentally all over the place. I decided I probably shouldn’t even go for it. Then my husband said, why don’t you just start the race? You can always stop if you don’t feel up for it, but you will always wonder what would have happened if you don’t at least try. So that was my attitude going in. I will just see how far I can get. Turned out that I had a great day. I started out conservatively, because I knew that my body needed more time to warm up than usual and I also just wanted to be careful. But with each km I somehow felt stronger and better. I finished the first half in just under 2 hours and instead of thinking, there is no way I can do that again, I just thought, even if I quit now, that would be an awesome run, let’s see how far I can get. I ended up finishing in 3:59. No idea how I managed it, but without my positive attitude that day, I would not have had a chance. Reading your blog has inspired me to go for even faster times in the future :-) Great job keeping a positive attitude! And under 3 hours is an amazing time regardless!!!

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Congrats to Andrew! My kids were awful at church on Saturday evening and I was so embarrassed–I was sweating by the time we left! At their age, they know how to behave in church. We had a big talk afterwards.

I started a new job–sub teaching;-) I love it and it is the perfect fit for our family (and me) right now.

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I love mind games in races. When I do ultras, I try to “start over” at a couple points along the course. So, maybe at XX miles, I will turn on my podcasts. Then, XX miles later, I’ll turn on music. I’ll sit down at one point. Maybe I try a different food. Anything that helps me refresh/recharge works well.
Congratulations to Andrew! One thing I love about nursing is the variety of jobs we can hold, while still in the same career. As an RN, I worked in the ED and NICU, and now as an NP, I’m in Sleep Medicine, and per diem at a drug/alcohol detox center. They’re all vastly different, but all within my scope of practice.

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Worst = Jordan River Marathon just one month after my all-time PR. JRM was nearly 1.5 hours SLOWER!! And I’d done marathons before at one week apart and did well. JRM was humbling, but my husband walked with me the last two miles, and I now call it my PR at the other end. :)

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I wonder if part of the reason you felt so off was because you were coming down with something since you got sick just 2ish days later. I got the flu on the day of a marathon a few years ago and it was the worst feeling ever since I had had such a great training season. You’ll get sub 2:45 if you want to- and if you don’t, you are still a rock star runner!

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That’s what I’ve been thinking too Robyn! I guess I just needed to learn something through that experience:) Thanks for your kind words and for sharing your experience too… you are the best!

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Thanks for sharing moving on from CIM–it can be so hard to come off that disappointment after training so hard. I keep your moms text from last week in the back of my mind for bad days (haha thanks HRG mom) where she said racing is hard because we only get one shot and one day to show off all our training! So smart to not jump back into another race as some people do to “save” their training season after a bad race (and then end up injured!).

I had a huge PR on my 10k this wknd, but honestly felt awful from mile 1. I got out the car and my legs felt so so fatigued and I felt like dropping from the start. I knew it was going to be a hard day and I was so so glad it was only a 10k, haha. I ended up with perfect positive splits;) But during the race I kept setting mini goals like you mentioned. My goal originally was to start the first two miles at 7:45 and then progress faster andddd I never got faster, hah so I just kept my goal to keep every mile under 8 when really I just wanted to walk or catch a ride to the start. I came over the finish line SO upset because of how bad I felt and my husband was like WHAT?! you have a 7+ min PR! So I had to readjust my thinking but its super hard when you really feel awful for the whole race and know if you felt better you would have so much more to give:)

Thanks for sharing all your thoughts! It’s so nice to not feel alone:)

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I think this is such great advice Janae and we have all been there with races that don’t go as we would have liked. That’s basically been me the last year and a half. Although I’ve been running less and focusing on different components of my life. I appreciated the you didn’t come this far to only come this far. I’m going to think of that next time.

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“Run the mile you’re in” and when even that seems too hard, “Put one foot in front of the other.” I remind myself of that as often as I need to in a bad race. I can put my foot down one more time, and one more time, until I can think about something else. I actually thought that during my run yesterday–I felt like I was struggling, but at the end realized I’d run faster than I usually do and had gone much farther! That was kind of cool!

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Good luck to Andrew in his new gig. My uncle worked in Cardiac ICU before going to anesthesia school. He liked it a lot. I might or might not run today. I couldn’t get myself out of bed this morning but still have a window this afternoon to get it done. But I also have a workout with 84 box jumps at noon so who knows what my legs will feel like…

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Oh really! That’s good to hear about your uncle. Some days we just need to stay in bed and I’m glad you did! 84 box jumps… that made my legs hurt just reading about it. You are amazing. Have the most wonderful day Jackie!

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Congratulations Andrew! How exciting. Good luck in your journey

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He told me to tell you thank you!! I hope you have a wonderful day Karia!

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The last 3 miles of the St. George marathon were the absolute hardest of any race I have ever done!! I actually saw your coach during one of those miles (who I recognized from your pics) and he told me to keep going and that I was almost done :) Eventually I made it to the finish but I was completely destroyed at that point…

Anyone start a new job recently? Same company but I got a promotion recently so different responsibilities :)

What’s your run today? No run but I’m going to a barre class.

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You did great and will get the time you want, I have no doubt! On a funny note, I initially glanced at the headline and thought it read “Andrew’s Nose Job.” I was like….what? LOL

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I ran Lochness in Scotland and although I didn’t really have a time goal since I was really looking forward to the scenery and enjoying myself, but the weather started out horrible. WET RAIN WIND COLD Anyhow, I unfortunately cramped up and but made the best of it and finished with a smile on my face,. I finished way behind what I was capable of running and at first it was disappointing but then I realized…I just finished a very hard and hilly marathon in Scotland. And like you, my husband gave me a great big hug and kiss and said he was so proud of me. THANKS for keeping it real for us! You’re amazing!

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Hi Janae! I forgot which pro I stole this idea from but I make an A goal, B goal, and C goal. For example for my last race my A goal was to sub 2, B goal was to PR, and C goal was to finish the race feeling like I gave it my all. It really helped me to be able to adjust my expectations based on how I felt.

Thanks for this post I’ve gotten many good ideas from everyone!

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I just wanted to chime in and say that I really LOVE how close you are with your family, and how much time you all make for each other. It’s really beautiful. <3

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My second marathon was the Santa Barbara Marathon 2012. I knew I was going in undertrained. My dad was hospitalized that Fall – he was in San Francisco and I was in Simi Valley, so I spent my weekends making long drives (450 miles) instead of doing long runs. I didn’t have a time goal, just wanted to finish. I ended up running the second half with a first time marathoner who was ready to give up. We talked, ran, walked, laughed and pushed our way to the finish line. I could have dropped out or dropped to the half marathon, but I’m glad I stuck with it and was able to help someone else. Lesson learned: there’s always someone else struggling and you can help them even when you’re struggling. And I don’t regret a single minute I spent with my Dad, that’s time I’ll never get again.

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Oh Kathy, that lesson is the best lesson on the planet. Your comment left me with goosebumps. You are an amazing person and I look up to you a lot.

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Oh this post is so timely as I had a terrible race this past Saturday. I had been training for a 1:50PR and actually had my worst race ever, from mile 3 I knew I felt awful and could not catch my breathe and control my breathing. I have no idea why but it happened and yes I thought about giving up many times, but just like you said I set mini goals, I knew it had to end at some point and the more I kept going the faster it would be over. I thought about you many times and saying I can do hard things and how you just ran 2 amazing fulls!! Through some curse words, prayer and laughter I still finished right under 2 hours and was just happy to finish. There will be more races and more goals-despite the fact that during the race I said I was never running again :) Thanks for your blog, I always look to it for inspiration and your adorable family!! Merry CHristmas to you all/

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STACY. I am so so sorry about what happened on Saturday and I get it. Curse words, prayer and laughter… WE ALL RELATE HA! And huge congrats for finishing under 2 when you felt so awful. You are amazing and I want to keep hearing about all of your races. Merry Christmas to you too Stacy and thank you for sharing!

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Congrats Andrew! I still think flight nursingvshould be the end game but NP is cool. Most of the nurses that got their NP’s still work as a flight nurse! Haha. So excited for him!

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You really do have the coolest job. Whenever we see a life flight going over us we say… I wonder if that is Kathee:) . Who knows… he might still go that direction, it really is so exciting to him. Have the best day friend!

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Congrats Andrew on the new job!!

It may sound silly, but when I’m really not happy in a race, I try and remind myself to smile. I swear it helps and I totally agree with asking yourself if you’re doing the best you can for that moment and if you are, then live in that space.

I had a race recently that I was just in a bad mind space and I finally asked myself why I was out there. It wasn’t to PR. It was supposed to be part of my training for a bigger goal, so I slowed down, changed my music, and tried to smile. And I also reminded myself after it was done, that I was still 13 minutes faster than my first 1/2 marathon :)

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You are SO right about smiling and I probably should have done more of that last week! Thank you for sharing that about your recent half marathon. It really is just incredible that we complete these huge races and faster than we started. SUCH a great reminder and I hope you are having a great day!

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Yay Andrew! I work in the cardiac ICU too… it’s my favorite area!
Janae. I really think you should congratulate yourself on becoming a solid sub 3 marathon runner!

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Thank you so much Melly from both me and Andrew. SO cool that you work in the same area… you guys will have to talk! Have the most wonderful day!

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I admire you Janae! You had every reason to quit But you didn’t. I love your attitude. I can’t wait to see how you progress. This is just the beginning!

My worst race ever was yesterday’s Dallas Marathon. My training season was near perfect but I showed up on race day just feeling off. I could feel my heart rate soar and my legs were burning at mile 3?? I had the side stitch from miles 1-20. Now I know I was fighting something off, and you probably were too.

I learned that even in a bad race, there are some good patches so just hang on and wait for the next one. I also learned to find energy to encourage others around me, because those that encouraged me yesterday were the reasons I didn’t quit.

Congratulations Andrew!

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Oh Amber. I AM SO SO SORRY. I want to give you a hug right now because I know that feeling. Congrats to you for finishing and that is the best lesson of all to encourage others around you, thanks for sharing that with me. Have a beautiful day, recover well and I hope that bug of yours is gone asap!

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Congratulations Andrew! You’re an inspiration, achieving your goals with four small kids at home.
I’m starting my education to become a nurse in september and I’m very excited. It’s always nice to read about your experiences.

Janae, you are strong! Reading about the way you deal with difficult situations or dissapointments can help a lot of people.

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Congrats to Andrew on the new job! That sounds super scary to me , when I worked in the hospital that unit was a no thank you place! But, what a great stepping stone to NP school!!!

For bad races/days it’s perspective to me. If I go by times, I’ve had *a lot* of bad races. If I go by finishes, I have gobs of terrific ones. If I go by feel? Well, that’s a mixed bag because I’ve felt great, didn’t meet the time, but finished just like I’ve felt terrible, blah time, but finished, and the ever popular felt terrible, went fast, finished. Anyway, my worst feeling race was IMCDA and it was 100F with a bazillion % humidity. I PR’d in the bike but added a good 45 minutes+ to the marathon, but ended with a 15min PR finish time. So I felt like a melted ice cream sundae that was slowly getting dry and sticky (like seriously, felt terrible) but finished that race. And lately, I felt great cardio-wise at NYC marathon but halfway through my hamstrings were like, “nope, we’re tighter than Mick Jaggers pants so have fun with us……” and I just decided to enjoy being there and not even worry about my time. It was just so much fun despite being quite uncomfortable. I also tell myself that there’s always people faster than me and slower than me, more comfortable than me, more hurty than me. Anyway, that was a lot of verbage for saying it really stings sometimes to be “off” especially when all you want is THAT DAY to be on. You have a great attitude and I think you always do great whether it’s nailing your nutrition, paces, or gumption.

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Wow literally everyone wearing the vaporfly in that photo. It’s just nuts. All qualifying races will be so inflated.

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I started a new job in October. It has been crazy but things are finally starting to calm down a little before the holidays…but then it will probably be crazy again but I love it.

I think that your Dad going through your nephews text is a good check. I have two really young nieces (toddler agish) and I wonder what the dating world will be for them and it’s freaky because they will have so much access to technology and things that were never an issue for me growing up will be for them.

No run today – but we biked to the market yesterday and I walked 4km home from a Christmas concert Saturday night (in high heel boots!_ because the buses didn’t come. Hahah.

Have a great day Janae!

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To Andrew,
Some sage advice from a 20+ year CV and Cardiac Cath Lab RN. I have trained many new ICU RN’s and enjoy seeing the enthusiam to learn. First congratulations, I hope you love this journey, it is a great place to be.
1. Be meticulous in everything you do. This is critical in this specialty. (A different mind set than ED)
2. Ask many questions and take notes. Both from the Runs and Providers.
3. Volunteer to be present in all procedures, activities and new things you have never seen, even when it is not your patient. There is much to learn and your preceptor will appreciate this. (This said, your patients do come first].
4. Label your lines and keep them untangled.
5. Nurse the families of your patients too. They are in a vulnerable State.
6. You will be great!!!!
I have many more things, but these awesome things that come to mind right now.
You can always reply to this post with more questions. Always happy to help.
From a nurse who loves her job.

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I was thinking your Dad must have good advice for your nephew, afterall he woo’ed the beautiful HRG Mom!

And that look of anguish on your face says so much, I think we’ve all been there. But you pulled out a smile and kept going, that’s an amazing experience to have in the bank!

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