Please note this was written on our late flight back last night and there are probably more grammatical errors than normal;)
Okay, let’s get started. I want to be as real as possible because I’m sure this is something a lot of us go through. I felt a million different things yesterday! I was sad in the first mile when I was feeling dizzy but tried to stay as positive as possible and told myself it would change… I was sad when I finished far from my goal… But then I was incredibly grateful for the experience I had the last few months and the growth that occurred… And then I was so happy to see so many people there I love a whole lot… And then I was embarrassed that I said I was going to accomplish this huge goal, people have done so much to get me there and I didn’t have an answer for why I didn’t do it… But then I was really proud that I’m not afraid of big goals, working my buns off and not giving up… And then I wondered what I could have done differently… Followed by clapping for myself for not getting on the bus going by at mile 7 like I wanted… And then 2 seconds later I remember I dreamed for YEARS to see a 2 at the start of my time and I did that yesterday while feeling my absolute worst and feeling really thankful for that.
Long story short with that, my feelings were everywhere yesterday and conflicting feelings are normal too ie—> WOW, I just dreamed up this goal not that long ago and look how far I’ve come vs. I just really thought we were going to get it and I want to cry on the couch for a few hours. I just want you to know that we all experience ALL OF THE FEELINGS. Yes, there are WAY worse things going on in the world today but when we work so hard for something and don’t hit it… we are humans and feelings are real.
Here’s how things went:
I fell asleep at 9 and woke up for good at 2:30 but I was actually really happy with the solid 5.5 hour chunk that I got because that is more than I usually get the night before the marathon. I was in a super good mood, everything was going smoothly, we were all laughing, excited and left the house at 6. I ate two bagels with jam at around 4:45 (the norm for me before a marathon), my normal UCAN on the way to the race and a gel right before I started. I was well hydrated and fueled so I know that wasn’t the problem!
We stayed at a friend’s house right near the starting line of the race so it could not have been more convenient. There was no rain predicted anymore and the cloud cover looked amazing. Emilee and I did a .5 mile warm-up after our husbands dropped us off with some quick strides and then we got into the coral.
In the corral, you should have heard how cocky I was being in my head ha. I was picturing the most wonderful finish line story, so confident in our training/being at sea level/having an incredibly strong group of women to work with and knowing we put our everything into this training.
And then the gun went off right at 7 and we were in the perfect placement. Seriously, EVERYTHING was going perfect. But when the first mile was going downhill (my specialty!!!) and my ‘conservative’ pace felt like a full on sprint, I got really afraid. Things have gone south in plenty of marathons at mile 18 or 20 and even 16 but I’ve never felt in mile 1 that something was wrong like I did yesterday. I’m not sure what it was but I did feel a little dizzy (like I did during my 10k this last summer that was really humid) and maybe I wouldn’t even have noticed the humidity if it was a good day but maybe my body just being off noticed those little things so much easier?
From the beginning I felt a little similar to the carb depleted mile that we did last week even though my body was full of carbs… it was a strange feeling.
Our husbands were the absolute best. They were at miles 6, 10, 16, 21, 26 and the finish! How we saw them so many times, I do not know. They were so encouraging, running up next to us and so supportive. I am so grateful for Andrew.
They were happy that we wore the jerseys that we did because it made us a lot easier than normal to spot!
At about this point we realized things weren’t changing. Something was not there. We had hit these paces or faster on tired legs in training over and over again and the effort was so forced yesterday. Emilee finally said something to me about how she had been feeling (we were both worried about ruining the other’s race by saying anything negative) and we made the goal to just make it to our husbands again and then we would figure out what to do.
My watch was off by a little bit because it wasn’t working in the beginning for some strange reason so I had to restart it. I didn’t know where we were exactly until the half-way mark and it was 1:25:01… Meaning that we needed a 1:19:59 for it to happen and spoiler… that definitely did not happen:) At about mile 15 Emilee started to feel a bit better and I fell back from her and was really craving some music ha.
I was taking in a gel and 4 ounces of water every 4-5 miles and finally some caffeine at mile 13.
I just have to shout out to this guy in this picture with the red shorts. When I saw Andrew at this point I started crying and he saw that. A minute later he went next to me and offered all sorts of encouraging comments, told me to stay with him and that he was rooting for me. People are the best. I felt that way the entire way. People out there cheering, helping each other and working hard towards goals.
I started seeing people peeling off and I wanted so badly to join them. There was a bus picking up people to take them to the finish and it took everything in me to not jump on. I was super positive with myself and cheering for each step so that’s a huge success! The entire time my thinking was there… I could do math, recite a poem if I needed haha, talk and my breathing never felt labored, my body was just gone.
The miles slowed down more and more but it was so rewarding to see that beautiful finish line.
137 comments
Mariah
Janae, you are so inspiring! You still pushed through even when it was hard and managed to see the good after a tough race! Love what your mom said too, she is so wise. Going for an amazing goal and not getting it is sad, but it would have been more sad to not try at all. So be proud!!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Thank you SO much Mariah. It’s so true… the sad thing would be not trying! I hope your day is a wonderful one and thanks for taking the time to write this comment to me!
Dwayne Steele
HRG- This is very similar to what I experienced in the spring of 2016. I did the ORRRC Marathon (Xenia, OH) just as a practice run. Ended up with a PR of 2:57. I was just cruising at 6:50-6:55’s for the first 20 miles and went about 6:25 pace for the last 10k. Three weeks later was my target race, The Flying Pig in Cincinnati. I was rested, tapered, everything seemed perfect for my sub-2:55 goal. But something felt wrong as soon as the race started. I ended up heaving at mile 11 and knew I was in for a disappointing outcome. I did still manage to make it to the 24-mile mark in 2:44:xx, but was no longer able to run at all. It took me 37 minutes to walk those last 2.2 miles, finishing in 3:21.
Excellent job of sticking with it, you kept moving and still pulled off a very solid time. Congratulations!
Christine
You must have been so disappointed. It’s hard not to make our goals and even more so when it’s all out there in the public. But you’ve shown so much strength and grit this year in your training! None of that was easy… and I would guess that getting a sub 3 really wasn’t easy Sunday either. You’ve learned a lot and grown stronger. This ain’t over yet!!! And I think you’re so brave for sharing it all with us. We’re all rooting for you.
Danielle Royo
I was following your race yesterday and was sad with you. Hugs!!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Runners just get it! Thank you so much Danielle!
Isla
Hi Janae,
I’m so sorry you didn’t reach your goal, and I really admire your positive attitude about it! I know you’ll get there someday.
I had a similar race experience at a humid marathon last spring. I went out at what should have been an incredibly conservative pace, and felt like I was dying by mile 2. From there, it just got harder and harder despite my pace slowing. Looking back, that race felt way harder than the next marathon I ran (which was almost 25 minutes faster!). Humidity can be brutal, especially if you aren’t used to it.
<3
Lindsay
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? You put yourself out there and stuck it out for yet another sub-3 – so impressive. Now you can relax, enjoy the holidays, and run (or not run) whatever you feel like.
Sara
I’m so sorry you didn’t meet your goal. I have to say though, maybe there’s something to not reaching all of your goals back to back? Like it makes sure that your perseverance doesn’t waiver? You worked for 8 years for the last goal, that perseverance is definitely something so deeply ingrained in you. If you’d hit this next goal so soon after, what would be left to push for? (I know none of this makes you feel any better, but it was on my mind as I read this). Regardless, you’re amazing and are going to continue doing amazing things!
Helen
If you always achieve your goals then maybe your goals aren’t high enough – and if you are aiming high enough then sometimes you might fall a little short. Where’s the fun if you don’t take a little risk? But sub-3 on a bad day is AMAZING! And what a year you’ve had!
I had a 10k race yesterday and was hoping to get sub-50 but missed out by 10 lousy seconds! One second per km, gah! But mostly II’m happy I came that close because at 7km, when I was running into a strong headwind, I just wanted to walk and I didn’t.
Angela
You are amazing! So grateful for you being so real. I’m so proud of you! So glad you are practicing positivity even after the race, and I know that there def will be times you’ll need to do that crying on the couch thing, which is good, gotta get it out, but yes, you did amazing amazing amazing, still sub 3-ing it when you felt so terrible. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I’ll continue rooting for you, and pray that you can rest and enjoy recovery!
I had a pretty good weekend, my little guy (8 months old) has a pretty bad cold and teething, so definitely hard moments, but it was the best, being together as a family on weekends… I am treasuring every moment with him, as my maternity leave will be up soon. My husband took is for a fun drive in the snow yesterday (I’m in Ontario Canada), and it was a gorgeous time.
At the moment, I’m not running as since having my son, my knees have really bothered me, but I have an appt in Jan with an Osteo to try to help me so that’ll be good!
Again, all the best to you!! You did amazing!!
Ps. I was tearing up when you talked about how Andrew was there for you… I feel the same about my hubby.. he’s always been so supportive of goals I’ve set! We’re so blessed to have them in our lives!
Elizabeth
What an effort! You should be very proud of your sub 3 accomplishment. It’s difficult to reach a goal and sometimes we don’t get it on the first try. This experience will just help you get it more easily the next time. Enjoy the down time and please, be proud of yourself!
Mollie
So proud of you for making the best out of a bad day. I love what your mom said. It’s so true, and I feel like it’s magnified when you have kids and work AND marathon training. You don’t get the chance to have that big day often and you sacrifice so much to get there. It is heartbreaking when it doesn’t go your way. But it’s going to happen.
Don’t second guess yourself this week–you did the best you could out there and all you can do now is go for a BIG PR and OTQ for next time! (And who knows, give me a couple of years and maybe I’ll be chasing down that dream with you. ;-))
Lots of love to you and a high five to Andrew for being major #runnerhusbandgoals. :)
Now enjoy a couple weeks off with lots of hot chocolate and netflix and Christmas treats! <3
Becky Przy
Oh my word Janae, you did fabulous yesterday and should be so. proud. of. yourself!!! I was cheering you on from afar. You finished sub 3 for the 3rd time!!! Also, running in humidity is no joke!
Also, none of my races go according to plan, haha. I have learned that I my love of running runs deeper than any race time/PR….plus, I don’t have the competitive gene;-)
Mollie
For sure, you had to go for this, and it would have been amazing if you got an OTQ. BUT. You just got an almost 10 MINUTE PR off of your sub-3 TWO MONTHS AGO. One year ago, you thought sub-3 was the ultimate for you, and look at you now. Freaking incredible. With the timing of the trials, it’s more like hey, why not take a shot at an OTQ and give it your all. Of course it’s disappointing when it doesn’t happen, but I really hope you don’t let this take away from how much you’ve achieved this year, because you deserve to be really proud of that. Looking forward to following your training when you shoot for this goal again in the future!
Zoe
I was sad on Sunday when I saw your post but after reading this, I’m blown away. Your mental game and what DID go well inspires me to try harder. We love you Janae!!
Kristin
Sending you lots of love–you trained SO hard and I know how disappointing it is to not reach a big goal. But this was your first attempt, and I absolutely agree with what your mom said. Your people are still so proud of you and supporting you, and I don’t think not hitting that time is going to make anyone question your training. You put in the time, the effort, the commitment . . . and raced 3 sub-threes AND an ultra in the last 14 months! (I think I got that right.) That’s pretty incredible, and you are SO inspiring.
As for what’s next–sometimes I think it’s nice to give our brains a break on planning. It lets you recharge mentally and can let some other ideas float to the surface. It’s okay not to have a plan!
Joanna
I was so sad to see you miss your goal. You are such a great runner, a strong mama and an amazing person. Sending you so much love and support. You are amazing!
Joy
Janae,
You are an amazing runner and I want to repeat what your mother said! If a sub-3:00 is what you get on a bad day, that is amazing. You are an incredible runner and person and I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself. You didn’t let anyone down! Instead, you showed what you’re made of and that you go for your goals and dreams.
Carol
Your mother’s words…amazing. You’re amazing and you did great! A sub-3 when you’re not feeling well…incredible! Thank you for sharing this journey and for your honest recap. Now, go rest :-)
LizW
I *know* you’re super disappointed. But you’re worst day was a sub-3?!?! You are INCREDIBLE!!!
I ran Tucson Saturday and had a very, very similar experience. I have no idea what went wrong, but I knew right away (on my downhill start!) that it was not my day. But I’m a “regular” runner, so my bad day ended with a 5:31 – HA! My body wasn’t having it at all. Thanks for sharing your hard story – it helped me process my own bad race. We’ll get the next one ;)
MILFRunner
You are such a rockstar. Definitely have had races (rowing though) that just felt “off” from the get-go…one was the “biggest” race of my career. Hunkering down, getting it done to the best of your in-the-moment ability regardless, and learning the powerful lesson(s) in the experience all are marks of true elite mindset. Way to go, Janae. So much love and excitement for you! ❤️
Corey
Wow! We often want to revel in the glory of achieving our goals, even though we know there is so much more power in learning the hard lessons along the way when we fall short. Still…to conquer the original “lifetime” goal of sub-3 on a very off day says amazing things about what you’ll accomplish soon! Feel all those legit feelings, as they will fuel your future efforts & I can’t wait to see how those turn out! :)
In pursuit of a sub-4 marathon over many years, everything aligned perfectly for me to knock it out on Thanksgiving weekend 2011. I bonked and finished around the time of most of my other attempts: 4:20ish. I asked my friend if it was totally crazy to consider that a training run and sign up for another one 2 weeks later–she said, “I’ll drive,” and we took off to make it happen. Although my 4:04 finish was a little shy of my goal, it restored my faith in my ability to achieve it, and the next year I BQ’d with a 3:54. It was also the start of my girls’ getaway/running weekend that’s now 9 years strong! The weekend is now about reconnecting with one another while using our fitness :)
Sanne
Janae, you are still amazing! You worked so hard, it’s totally normal to feel disappointed. Allow yourself to feel that way. Give yourself some rest, spend time with your lovely family and after that, who knows what you’re capable of! Probably anything!
The Hungry Runner Girl
FRIEND! Thank you so much and I totally agree.. time for all of the rest for my body. I hope you are having the best day so far!
Caitlin
Your moms text is so amazing. I love the supportive family you have! You should be so proud of your accomplishments and you are such a motivator to so many. Best wishes and happy holidays now to enjoy all the fun things with your kiddos and Andrew!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The Hungry Runner Girl
Thank you SO much! I feel very lucky to have these people and YOU GUYS. I hope your holiday season is amazing too!
Jenn
I’m so sorry you had a bad day I know how frustrating that is!! Happens to the best of us and will only make you even stronger!! I’m glad you feel proud still because you absolutely should!! This was your year for running and it’s been exciting to watch it unfold! You even inspired me to sign up for a 10 miler! I used to run but have taken a hiatus after kids but I NEED it in my life at the moment. My 2 year old is having surgery 2 days after Christmas so I need all the endorphins! I just know running will help through this stressful time!
Nicci
It’s never about how many times we fall down but how many times we get up, and it sounds like you got up 26.2 times yesterday. No matter what the time on the clock says, you are just great. I love hearing about your training and races, you have inspired me a zillion times to try. Growth over comfort has been my new go to lately, and I heard it here first. Congrats on an amazing race experience, I can’t wait to see what you accomplish next!
Rhiannon
Oh Janae, I am so sorry! On the bright side, the feeling of this failure (which honestly… not really a failure IMO) is going to make your eventual success SO MUCH BETTER! I think everyone who’s ever done races knows exactly how you felt. One of my half marathons was about 15 degrees warmer than anticipated (so it was hovering around 80 degrees), high humidity, SUPER sunny, and SUPER DUPER hilly. Needless to say… that did not go as I had expected either. But, it just made me that much hungrier to do better the next time! I am so sorry it didn’t work out like you planned, but you’ll get there! :)
Melissa T
I have been reading your blog for a couple of years but I’ve never commented until today. I wanted to thank you for your honesty in this post and to let you know that I am really impressed that you finished the race. You are a very strong person who works really hard to reach your goals and I truly admire that! That will pay off in a future race, and in life.
Jessica
I love your attitude about this. You sub-3ed (on a bad day!!) and that was your goal for eight years!
I’m also so impressed that you put your real goal out there. That takes a lot of courage. I hope you don’t beat yourself up about that and continue to share your goals because we are all rooting for you!
Congrats on an amazing race!
Jennifer
Sub-3 is still HUGE, Janae! Congratulations!! You’ve made insane progress this year and you are such an inspiration to so many people. Give Emilee massive CONGRATULATIONS from all of us, too!
I also “raced” yesterday. But by that, I mean I blew a 10K. I couldn’t get into a rhythm and ended up walking a lot. I finished (last) and went home feeling like I could still run later in the day. Well, I got home, took a nap, and woke up feeling WAY too ache-y for only running 6m. I think I’m still feeling the effects of being sick last week. I also made a hard decision to alter my plans for my first marathon which was to be in Feb. I’m going to run the half instead and work on strength training and increasing my base mileage without the pressure of “marathon training”. My body is giving me plenty of indicators that I’m not ready, but I’m still fighting my internal “push through it” dialogue.
Give your body some well-deserved rest, enjoy the holidays with your family and loved ones, and start fresh when your ready.
Baili
Janae, thank you for such a raw honest post. I raced in central time so was anxiously awaiting your results. You’ve got the fitness – it’s just finding the day. My new running (and life) mantra is Kipchogee’s – I don’t know where the limit is, but I want to go there!
I ran my sub three yesterday in College Station, Texas at our local race. 2:59:41 – a 12 minute PR (previous was in Boston this year). Our race benefits this amazing charity, the Mercy Project which rescues children from slavery in Africa, and either helps them receive an education and either return to their families or receive care in a community setting. Anyway, the pics of the reduced children line the final .2 and it is amazing!!!
All that to be said, I shared some of your issues – my pacing was off. I spent the first 25.5 as the first female, with a lead vehicle and everything and then got passed in the final stretch – with no gas in the tank to give chase. It was a little bittersweet. I’m on cloud 9 with a huge PR, but also a little bummed that I died in the second half. All in all, it was amazing. But man I understand a lot of your feels from CIM.
The Hungry Runner Girl
BAILI!! AHHHH I am SO THRILLED FOR YOU. 12 minute pr, you are incredible! Huge congrats. That quote is everything and that race sounds absolutely amazing. Second overall… you are incredible.
Keri
Absolutely amazing to get sub three on a bad day, and I just have to ask – any chance you are pregnant??! ;)
Way to go, so proud of you, and hope you have a relaxing and cozy next couple of weeks!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Hahaha did you hear me and Andrew’s conversation on the plane yesterday? There is a chance but I don’t think so (#familyplanningmethod;) but I should be starting my period tomorrow so I’ll know soon I guess haha. Thanks so much Keri! Hope you are having the best day so far!
Stephani
I truly believe that no pain or suffering or disappointment is ever wasted. I checked your times yesterday and knew you were probably disappointed, but I also knew that you would be ok… that you would allow yourself to feel what you honestly felt and then choose to see all the good…and then share it with all of us. What perfect timing though to start your recovery! Praying that you have a lovely week reflecting on all of the beauty that God is going to bring from this.
Angie
Sorry the race didn’t turn out how you wanted but you did have another sub 3 and that’s amazing! Look at all the progress that you’ve made and you should be proud of yourself!
Linda
I was so sad for you when I saw you didn’t reach your goal, but I thought to myself how proud I am that you went for it. Granted, I don’t know you, but know that internet strangers/friends feel for you and think you have done amazing things this year. I know that if this is something that you really want, you are going to get it.
I had a terrible race in October. I planned to PR my half, but it was almost 75 degrees with a ridiculous amount of humidity at 3:00 AM as we walked to the start line. I tried for the first 2 or 3 miles, but about that time, I know it wasn’t going to happen. I switched to my B goal, but knew at about 6 miles that wasn’t going to happen either. I couldn’t even take in my Humas, which have NEVER bothered by stomach. Ever. I got to the point where it was just about finishing. I did and it was almost a personal worst, I think only beaten by my first half, which I did not do nearly enough training for.
Sara Regenauer
Janae – I’m so sorry that you did not meet your goal as I know that must hurt and is hard. I want you to know that it is ok to be sad or to feel upset.. It’s ok to just be down for a bit. You know you will get back up when you are ready. You reached for the stars and landed on the moon with a sub 3! You should feel so good about that. You have nothing to prove to anyone and we are all so so so proud of you and rooting for you in all things! Smile, you have so much more to smile about!
Monica
I felt teary eyed through your whole recap but not because it was sad, because you are SO INSPIRING! I feel like our world right now (especially in the social media space) is full of “cheap inspiration” to do hard things, take risks or dream big- handlettered quotes against a mountain backdrop and things like that. But you, YOU shared a part of your real life, real dreams, real striving and real failures with us. You freaking did the things so many people talk about. You set a goal and gave it your all, despite the sacrifices and risks it asked of you. And seeing someone who doesn’t regret dreaming big even after it didn’t go as planned is more encouraging to me than watching everything go perfectly (not that I haven’t loved seeing your PRs this year, those were so exciting!). All that to say, you’ve made me excited to go take some scary/exciting steps in many more areas of my life than just running. Thank you for taking the risk and I can’t wait to see what’s next!
John
Janae – you are so inspirational! Thank you for being you.
Jace and I raced Saturday night in the Electric Cookie Run at Greenlake. A light up medal, hot cocoa, and cookies afterwards! We ran a comfortable 7:36 pace for 2.8 miles and my hamstring felt great!
I tried to PR a 5K last summer and missed it by 5 seconds. If I had read “How Bad Do You Want It” prior to that race I think I could have easily PR’d!
Tonya J. Hancock
Janae –
I know joe hard it is not to hit your goal when you have worked so hard. Remember when sub 3:00 seemed like the ultimate and it took forever to get there? And now it feels like something less than but you achieved it even having a bad day?!?! I am so proud of you for not quitting and still maintaining a rockstar pace despite the feel not so goods.
You really inspire me. My PR is 4:14, but maybe I *CAN* BQ if I can train as diligently as you! Thank you for always being an inspiration, even if you felt less than stellar.
It is a great lesson to teach our kids that none of us are perfect, but the important thing is to never give up.
You are a rock star!!!!
Jen
I am so inspired by you! You put your goal out there for all of us to see and you went for it!! That is huge. I am just getting back into running and I think about how hard you work every time I get out there. I am sorry yesterday was not your day but I have learned so much from you and am grateful for your openness and I can’t wait to see what you do next!
Jessica
You are allowed to feel WHATEVER you are feeling no matter what anyone else thinks. <3
I definitely don't need to tell you that God has a perfect plan for you and your life and all the events in it.
The question about conflicting feelings made me tear up because I made an intensely difficult decision last week. The decision was shared by my amazing husband and is in line with protecting our kids and our home and our safety/security, but it meant setting up boundaries with my mom and sister, whom I am deeply worried about. I have been praying non-stop and its just been heavy and hard. Gosh, sorry to get so personal in a comment, but it just struck a chord.
You are an amazing human, period. You deserve all the love and help and support you receive. All families should strive for that. <3 XOXOXOX
The Hungry Runner Girl
Jessica, thank you for sharing with me about what you are going for. I am so happy that you made the choice that you did and did the hard thing. We have to keep choosing the harder right rather than the easier wrong. You are amazing and thank you for your words!
Jessica
(Sorry if this posts twice!!)
You are allowed to feel WHATEVER you are feeling no matter what anyone else thinks. <3
I definitely don't need to tell you that God has a perfect plan for you and your life and all the events in it.
The question about conflicting feelings made me tear up because I made an intensely difficult decision last week. The decision was shared by my amazing husband and is in line with protecting our kids and our home and our safety/security, but it meant setting up boundaries with my mom and sister, whom I am deeply worried about. I have been praying non-stop and its just been heavy and hard. Gosh, sorry to get so personal in a comment, but it just struck a chord.
You are an amazing human, period. You deserve all the love and help and support you receive. All families should strive for that. <3 XOXOXOX
MaryM
Sorry things didn’t go as you had hoped yesterday but look at how amazing your body has been this training cycle. When was the last time you did a marathon back to back and they were all under 3 hours? Amazing! My husband does national triathlons around the United States and it helps to go several days ahead of time so the body adjusts to that area. It is tough with kids but maybe renting a house or getting a small suite? One thing I noticed in your pictures, was the amount of people that were wearing carbon shoes. They give an advantage especially when someone is tired at the end of the race. It also helps when you have done the course before and know the course. Experience is a good teacher.
Wendy
I love this recap so much!
I know it was not the day you had planned and hoped for, but you still did amazing while feeling not great! Your positivity is inspiring and will help you in your recovery over the next couple of weeks.
And like you’ve said, we grow from our failures and rough patches. You have had such an incredible year of running! You will hit your goal!
Now, enjoy the holidays with your family ❤️
Thank you for taking us all on this journey. I think we are all proud of you no matter what the clock said at the finish line, I know I am!
Kate Wicker
Your post made me cry (in a good way), and your mom’s wisdom is spot-on and something I needed to hear! I went into CIM just thinking of it as a comeback race with no real goals in mind, but then I was feeling so good and really thought a Boston qualifying time was possible. Then I started to feel dizzy (what up with that? Another runner told me she felt dizzy, too!) and had tummy issues. I think the humidity affected a lot of runners more than it seemed it should since the weather was still cooler. My pace grew slower and slower. So much for negative splits! Like you, I experienced a wide range of emotions – from just being so grateful to be running consistently again to beating myself up for not pushing myself harder. But this whole marathon thing isn’t about the outcome on race day. That’s not what defines us or our success. I know it’s cliche, but it’s really about the process and journey. And your sharing your ups and downs and your many running journeys is what inspires so many – far more than your actual race times (although you are an uber-talented running with holy moly marathon times!). Keep daring to dream and setting those big goals. I’ll be cheering you on, but also know that setting goals isn’t ultimately about achieving them (even though I know you will!). I’m preaching to myself here because I need to work on internalizing all of this! Ha. It’s about starting down a path that will lead to personal growth and give you the opportunity to meet amazing people (like Emilee!) and to live a meaningful life! You are the best, and so many people love you for YOU!
Martina
Janae, I’m so sorry your race went this way. I’m obviously sorry you didn’t reach your goal but, more than anything, I’m sorry you couldn’t even fight for that goal. I know exactly what you went thorough because I had an identical experience two weeks ago in Philadelphia: after a strong training season and a few prs along the way, I finished 10min over my goal (and 7min over my pr) and my body failed me from the very first mile. Just like in your case, a pace slower than marathon pace felt like an all-out sprint from the very beginning. And just like you, I barely felt sore afterwards, which means I didn’t push enough… but it’s not our fault, our bodies just didn’t let us! Two weeks have passed and I still have no idea about what happened or what I could have done differently. I guess bad days just happen and, unfortunately, yours happened yesterday. I applaud you for still finishing. One thing is fighting when things get rough in the second half… another is to fight for 26.2 miles straight and not dropping out when you know your goals are out of the window. And remember: one bad race does not define you… months of hard training do. Enjoy some well deserved rest now! Wishing you and your family a very happy holiday season.
~ R
Your mom rocks and her advice is spot on. I’m sorry you didn’t hit your goal but as one of those runners who is lucky to go sub-4, you are still a total bad@$$ rockstar in my opinion…two sub-3s now!!! Always enough.
elizabeth l
Wow! I have tears in my eyes reading this. I’d say you had a pretty good bad day. Every race is an achievement and an opportunity for growth.
I have another friend that was going for OTQ at CIM but she got a cold last week and wasn’t feeling 100%. I was so sad when she had to drop out at mile 17. It was a very emotional day tracking all the races yesterday :)
Thank you for sharing your dreams and goals and being so inspiring! Have a great week!
salma
Congrats Janae! You did awesome.. You are awesome, and so is your whole family and your husband for supporting you out there. I’m sorry you had a bit of a rough one… But, WOW. Thank you for always sharing.. and so fully, and promptly! I mean, you just flew there, ran a marathon, flew home and wrote all that to share with us!! Your posts are always so full, and I feel like you never skimp on a blog post.. when maybe you could, if you know what I mean. Write less, save some for another day, maybe make things easier for you. So, thank you for that! I’m not even a runner, but I love to read your blog and I’ve learned a lot about the sport from you and these daily blogs!
Also, love that text from your mom.. <3 Mommies are just the best, aren't they!?!
The highlight of my weekend was watching (and helping a bit) my almost two-and-a-half year old set up a little tea party with a ceramic tea set that used to be mine as a kid. So cute.. and so sweet. She set it up for her baby doll, "baby Leida" we call her (after my Oma, her great-grandmother) and her baby bear (that she just calls "Baby".. it's a little Winnie-the-Pooh bear, England style..) and the new little "Baby Bunny" from the Guess How Much I Love You book that my husband just bought for her because she was having a rough week with a little struggle on the potty, poor thing! It's so hard when they get a bit scared to use the loo… for number 2. Sorry, if that's TMI, but I've been googling and it seems that at this age, between like 2 and 3, it's common for little ones to have a bit of anxiety if they've had one poo that hurt a bit… and to want or feel the need to hold it in. But, we've been feeding her all the good stuff – veggies and fruits, and soups, and soft stuff, and staying away from foods like bread and pasta.. just for a bit until it's all easy for her again! And it has been… it's getting better and better. Yay for that! [I did have some conflicting emotions about all this — should I take her to a doctor? Should I push her to go? How can I help her more? I was sad for her, anxious over what to do, a bit scared, trying to be calm about it, elated (when she did go!)] Sorry Janae.. and everyone reading. This is supposed to be about your marathon!! But maybe this might help you if Skye gets to this phase, but you probably wouldn't need to google, since you've got kids already and so many nieces and nephews and people to ask! And for anyone reading, I hope that if they go through this, they are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel… and lots of love to all the lil ones! <3
Anyhoo Janae dear, I'm a daily reader, but an infrequent commenter.. And sorry, it seems that when I do comment, they are always just a tad too long! ha..
Take care Janae, and have a great week! Hope you enjoy all the rest.. and whatever runs or activities you take part in these next few days.. <3
Oh, and two questions for you – what did you mean about your fitness in relation to how you were running up the stairs at your friend's place? (I didn't get it.) And where did Brookie stay this weekend?! I love that pic she made for your race and you & Emilee, and the others.
The Hungry Runner Girl
SALMA IT IS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU! You are just the best. You guys are my friends so I wanted to talk to you about it asap hahaa. Thank you for sharing this with me and what happened this weekend. Brooke ended up staying with Megan too and I just meant that I want to feel sore after a marathon… I woke up today and don’t feel sore at all so I know my body was ready for faster but something just happened to the rest of my body.
Nina
I know it’s not the goal you were hoping and training for but a sub 3 is amazing.
I was really well trained for a half marathon that was fairly flat and in one of my favorite towns. I felt horrible halfway through and really thought about dropping. I pushed and walked a chunk of it. I ran the end of it and finished but it was a miserable feeling. In retrospect I am proud I finished, even if it wasn’t what I hoped for.
Ingrid
Congratulations Janae, you are incredible.
Ok, you didn’t finish it in 2,44. But you finished it, and you can be proud of what you achieve.
The Hungry Runner Girl
Thank you Ingrid, that means a lot to me. Hope you have a beautiful day!
Kate
Oh Janae, thank you for being so humble and honest in your post. You know I’ve been reading HRG since you and I were both injured before Boston so a long time.
We all have races that don’t pan out as we wished, but we learn and grow from them and come back better and stronger.
Recently finished an Ironman-not my first and it was a great day although things didn’t go exactly as planned.
I learned to go with the “two arrows” rule-this is a story that Buddha is telling to his students. They will get bit by two arrows and the first will hurt. Will the second one hurt? They ask..,only if you let it, he says.
Your amazing positive attitude will get you where you want to go, and yes, it’s hard when the chances are so few and far between, but I can’t wait to virtually cheer you across the next finish line to get your goals.
Take care, and happy holidays.
The Hungry Runner Girl
Okay, the two arrows rule is exactly what I needed. Thank you thank you. CONGRATS ON YOUR IRONMAN. I cannot even imagine. You are seriously the best ever! Thanks for being my friend for years and years now and going through the highs and lows together. Have the best day!
Victoria
Oh please don’t be embarrassed! You set a hard goal and worked so much for it, and it didn’t come together on race day this time. It’s disappointing and I can’t even imagine all the emotions you are processing after going for something that big and not having the day you worked for, but nobody should judge you for that (except to judge you to be awesome, which I do).
Your description of how you felt kind of matches how I feel when I race or try hard efforts the days leading up to my period sometimes (TMI) so maybe your cycle/hormones played a role?
Rest up and eat lots of Christmas cookies this month!
The Hungry Runner Girl
Interesting… I am supposed to start my period tomorrow!! Thanks friend. You are the best!
Kerry
YOU. ARE. AMAZING! You did something that 99% of humans could not/would not do in a lifetime. You have some SO FAR and I have so enjoyed being on this journey with you. KEEP GOING! Also, that story about the guy in the red short totally made me tear up. Fellow runners are the best. :)
The Hungry Runner Girl
Thank you Kerry, that sure means a lot! I agree… runners are the best group ever! Hope you have the best day!
Megan Wohlwend
So many great lessons for all of us, Janae!!! Congrats on a terrific finish…..onward and upward :)
And, I agree with Andrew- the CIM online marathon tracking was awesome! So much fun to watch you every step of the way!
-Megan W
Amanda
This seems so silly because I don’t actually “know” you but I’ve been reading your blog since before Brooke was born and I’m just so stinking proud of you!! You dream big and then you go get it!! You don’t give up and you are okay with failing because you know that you don’t fail, you learn and grow and take that with you the next time you try. You’re a rockstar!
On a different note, the first time I went on a vacation with my friends (and no parents) I got food poisoning during a layover on my flight. Threw up three times on the plane and all night the first night of our vacation. When I got home I finally told my mom (because I didn’t want her to worry about me while I was gone) and turns out she had got some random illness the same night and was throwing up too! Pretty sure moms feel when their kids are sick and go through it with them. So I think part of it was you helping Skye get through what she was going through :)
Audrey Calkins
Long-time reader here…it sounds like humidity really affects you and makes your body slow down. For that reason, I would counsel against Houston as a goal race for you…I lived there for 18 months, and go back regularly, and even in January, you can end up with a 75 degree, super humid race day (which is what happened to me).
The Hungry Runner Girl
Did you just read me and my mom’s texts haha. I have Houston in the back of my mind but you are so right. I cannot even imagine racing in that because humidity sucks the life out of me. Thanks Audrey!
Brittany
This was so encouraging, Janae! You are so positive and it’s a great reminder, especially on a Monday morning! It’s also so refreshing to see that we aren’t alone in experiencing our wide range of emotions :) You’ve inspired me to set some new running goals for myself, including doing my first Ultra, a 50k in July 2020! Thanks for sharing all of the ups and downs, can’t wait to see you hit this goal one day!
Jaclyn
Congrats on the finish! Although not your goal, you did an awesome job! I was at the race, too and did not make my goal time, I cried like a baby at mile 22 when I knew I wasn’t where I should be. I think the crazy rolling hills and the wet ground from the rain really made it a tougher race yesterday, BUT YOU FINISHED!
Congrats on finishing and thank you for always having such a positive outlook on running and life! Like you, I will not give up!
The Hungry Runner Girl
CONGRATS TO YOU JACLYN! You are incredible and you didn’t quit. Wish you and I could have cried together and I could give you a big hug. This experience will just make the next one even more amazing! Recover well!
Allison
I’ve followed you for a while, but this is my first time commenting! I’m so proud and inspired by your attitude — the honesty you are expressing is so helpful. You’re being honest with the negative emotions you’re feeling but also keeping such a healthy positive perspective. Thanks for that! I actually withdrew from CIM couple months ago because of some emotional stuff going on in my life and I had to just admit to myself that it was too much for me mentally right now. It’s really inspiring to read your recap and see how you’re processing something that was tough for you. So thank you for inspiring me and also GOOD JOB, HOLY MOLY! You are so speedy!!
Kathryn
Unfortunately, as a fellow marathon runner (albeit much slower) I’ve been there-feeling great at the start line and then it just falls apart. For me it was MCM 2015, I was having tummy trouble from mile 2 and ended up stopping for potty breaks a total of 15 times. I know how it feels to just see your goal just crumble away. But, it’s definitely these times I feel we learn.
You still did amazing and I was cheering for you the whole way as I tracked you. Congratulations on another sub 3. You are a bad a**.
Kelly
Janae-you did amazing. You said it took 8 years to get a sub 3. And now you’ve done that 3 times in what, 14 months? Two were back to back. And, you made it to the start line which alone is life changing. You own those conflicting feelings and that’s okay. I’m also super impressed by your confidence, motivation, and dedication. All of that got you to starting lines, to finish lines, to fast times, to new friendships, to strong muscles, and to new goals and accomplishments. So many runners self sabotage but YOU remained positive and practical! You trusted yourself and your training. If anything, you most likely have encouraged 100’s of others to chase dreams.
Speaking of impressive, Andrew at all those spots! With how fast you were did he rent a magic carpet to get around?!?!
So you don’t have to move on, you were disappointed at something. But you will progress forward.
Enjoy your rest. Relish in your year.
Kelly (aka @misswitt)
Tess
I love your attitude!! My first marathon was incredibly humid and I was battling an awful sinus infection- like you I forced myself to run past the bus pickups and finish. I knew I was so much stronger than my performance that day and it took me a really long time to believe in myself again and try again. Your belief in yourself is so inspiring!! You are going to rock whatever plan you have next.
Kathy
I’m so sorry that your OTQ is delayed. You’ll get it for sure. I’m in awe and inspired by the effort you put into going for it, especially so soon after a major breakthrough marathon!
I’ve had a few disappointing marathons (uncontrolled vomiting at 16, 94 degree days 2x, and also just sluggish legs). I love your perspective that your disappointing time was a dream time a couple of years ago. I have been using a different perspective- my worst marathon is the time is some else’s dream. It helps me respect the race and whine less (unlike you, I’m an excellent whiner).
I hope you have a wonderful week of Christmas traditions and lots of cookies and snuggles. You’ve earned it!
Kelli
You’re amazing, Janae. Thank you for being so honest on your blog. It truly is a testament to the fitness you’ve gained that on such a hard day, you still ran under 3 hours. I love following your journey and appreciate how you always “keep it real.” Enjoy some much deserved rest and recovery. You inspire me daily to set new goals for my own running.
JP
Congratulations on another sub-3! You are amazing! I had a very similar experience in my fall marathon. I was going for a PR and felt dizzy and off from the first step. I ended up missing my goal by a ton. It was also super humid that day.. humidity is no joke. I can understand all the emotions post-bad-race! Your eventual OTQ will feel amazing when it does happen!
Mary Ann
Pure determination Janae. What an inspiration you are to me. Congratulations.
Erin
You are such an inspiration! Not only for chasing your goals and dreams but also for how you handle and respond when things don’t go according to plan. I am so sorry it didn’t work out as you hoped this time. You are truly a rockstar and I wish you nothing but the best. :)
Shelby
I checked your Instagram obsessively yesterday because I have no idea of the time difference (I live in South Africa). Your recap made me tear up so many times BUT you will get your dream one day. You have inspired so many people, including myself, and I am so grateful for YOU! Have a lovely week Janae x
Sloan
Thank you for your reminder that it’s okay to have conflicting feelings about running results. Running can be training but like you said, it’s always there when we need it.
My brother and I ran the St Jude half marathon in Memphis this weekend. It was his first and my 5th. He had some aches and pains along the way but it was so fun to experience this with him! I felt great since the race but Saturday night my foot started hurting and it got worse and worse throughout the weekend. I’m putting myself in a boot and today I’ve had some negative thoughts. I was really excited about running and am considering a 50k this spring. I know that if this is a serious injury I’ll have to put off running for a while and that breaks my heart. I’ll just have to find other ways to exercise to stay strong so when I can get back into running I have some sort of base!
Amy
Dear Janae,
I was running at the same time as you on Sunday! My race started an hour after yours and I was aiming for a sub 2 so as I was finishing I wondered how you were doing and pretended you were cheering me on (hope that is ok with you). My A goal was to sub 2, my B goal was to PR, and my C goal was to leave it all on the course. I did goals B and C so I am happy with that!
Thank you for being an inspiration and mental coach to me!
Amy
Paige Cassandra Flamm
You are such an incredible inspiration for so many in the running community! I have no doubts that you’ll get that OTQ standard at some point in your life. You are an amazing athlete, no matter what the outcomes were yesterday. Can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for you!
Paige
http://thehappyflammily.com
Stacey
I’m sad for you that you didn’t reach your goal, but honestly, you ran a really solid marathon nonetheless! Distance running is funny in that we can only give really hard efforts a couple times a year without our bodies breaking down. It could be that with the two sub-3s and ultra before this race, your body reached its quota and decided to tell you that.
I hope you take some time to grieve and rest, and then get excited for what lies ahead — whatever that may be.
I also hope poor Skye is feeling better!
Stephanie
This recap brought tears to my eyes a couple times, happy and sad! I think what makes PB’s and the achievement of big goals such a big deal is how rare they come around. You had such an awesome year filled with new records and I am so sure you will get this big goal of 2:44 whenever its meant to happen. When the starts simply don’t align on race day it is so awful, but that is something we can’t control. You put in the work. You did everything right and you still saw 2: xx:xx at the finish which is so incredibly awesome. Your mom is so right!
Angela
I was so hoping your race had gone perfect. My marathon this weekend didn’t go as planned either, so I greatly appreciated reading your post. Your perspective is helping mine! The marathon is such a beast and all the stars have to align on that given day. I think it’s a wonder when we get to the starting line with all the things that can go wrong in training. I’m 57, not fast, but we all set goals for ourselves, even if it’s just to finish. My race was going great until about mile 20 when I started feeling off, kind of short of breath, and like the effort was way off. My heart rate was WAY up and not dropping to normal if I walked. I was checking my pulse and could feel I was skipping beats. Not wanting to be a story on the 10 o’clock news, I did A LOT of walking the last two miles. It was infuriating because my legs could have kept going. Then to top it off, my running buddy finished 4th in her age group and I feel like I cost her 3rd! I guess all I can say is “oh well, we finished and no one died!”
Torrie
You are so amazing, Janae! Congratulations on another sub 3 and a fantastic race! I don’t know how you gut through times like this! This reminds me so much of my first and only full marathon. I had trained so well and all my long runs went great. I felt awesome standing at that starting line but by mile 5 I knew something was just so wrong. I ended up walking almost half of the race and I don’t even know what happened or why it happened. It just wasn’t my day! Your moms text made me tear up and I love her words so much! You are incredibly blessed with an outstanding support system and you are extraordinary and you have accomplished amazing things this year! Enjoy recovering and resting and I can’t wait to see what’s next for you!
Annie
Your feelings about this race are all so relatable, and I appreciate the honesty. I know it must be tough to be vocal about a big goal and not achieve it, but I’m glad you didn’t hold back in sharing your goals publicly because you’ve inspired a lot of your readers by doing so. Definitely true for me. This experience will just make it that much sweeter when you do achieve your OTQ. Congrats on gutting it out on a bad day—not easy to do.
Emily
You should be so proud of yourself! Oh and stop saying you failed :) Running 3 sub-3 marathons in the course of one year is far from failing :)
I didn’t race this weekend, but my son did (he’s a high school sprinter). He PR’d in his 60M (7.43) and his 200M (23.63). Those were nice early birthday gifts (he turned 17 today!)
Ashley
There is SO much that influences athletic performance, because we are human! It could have been the humidity, it could have been hormones, it could have been something else. You’ll probably never have a definitive answer. But you mentally pushed through and still accomplished something amazing, and I am so proud of you!!! That is AMAZING. And good for you for believing in yourself and dreaming big. I love Brene Brown’s “Daring Greatly” and you did just that! ;) way to go!!!!
Corrinne
My husband pointed out last night that his Shamrock Shuffle teammate was in one of your marathon pictures….. Its the guy in the red shorts! His name is Patrick. Not making our goals sucks but you still had an amazing marathon and I love your attitude! You totally deserve all of the donuts!
Lisa @ TechChick Adventures
So sorry you didn’t get your goal, but yes, you are still a strong, positive runner, so keep on reaching for those goals!! Each race, no matter if it’s good or bad, will get you closer to that goal. I trained hard, hoping to BQ this summer, but came in 15 mins slower than goal time. Ooof. I know the feeling :) We all do! When I crossed the finish line, I just thought “what the heck just happened??” Congrats on a great race time despite the tough day you were having!
Kristen
Congrats on completing ANOTHER sub-3 marathon! That is incredible!!! I can totally relate with the whole “strong mental game and breathing game, but my body just wasn’t having it” thing. That is exactly what happened to me at my goal race in September! So frustrating! But, you should be so proud of yourself for not giving up even though you knew you weren’t going to make your goal. I can’t even tell you how many times I considered giving up during my race, but once I crossed that finish line, I knew I did the right thing. I was a huge lesson for me and a great lesson for my kids as well.
Enjoy your recovery!!
Kaytlin Gilbert
I have missed so many goals and plan to miss goals in the future. If I don’t, means I am not dreaming big enough.
This quote helps me a lot when I think about goals in general: “A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”-Cool Runnings
Thanks for sharing!
Amy @ FitnessMeetsFrosting
This post made me tear up so much haha! So many emotions (especially your mom’s text). Your mom could not have said it better! You are AMAZING and even more so for posting this. Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your journey <3 You still CRUSHED it!
Lee
Pregnant? Skye bug? What’s going on inside the torso (vs. the head)? Thanks for this recap!
Well, if you can call this a failure, we learn more from failure/ falling short of our vision than winning/ meeting or beating our vision.
Emily
Janae, I am SO impressed by your time after reading this. I know the exact feeling you’re describing, where your body is just like, “NOPE.” It’s really incredible that even when you were feeling like garbage, you not only finished the race, but did so in under three hours!! It’s always hard to miss a goal and I feel for you in that regard, but I mostly feel extremely inspired by you. Cry it out and feel your feelings, but try to also be proud of yourself- you deserve it.
Kathy McElhaney
Janae, I’m so sad with you that your race didn’t go as planned, but also SO super proud of the year you have had! You’re an amazing runner, super mom and inspiration to many.
The highlight of my weekend was the Honolulu marathon. I found the perfect spot to cheer – just past mile 7 I watched thousands of runners still going out as the winners came in. I brought my own clapping hands and cheered for over an hour. I didn’t know a single person on the course, but every runner deserves to be cheered.
Titus Ekiru set a new course record of 2:07:59. I had a great view and would tell the runners to start cheering for the champs! It was a blast. The top two females (Margaret Muriuki and Betsy Saina) came in side by side with less than a mile to go. The final turn was just as the passed me and Besty cut Margaret off (don’t know if it was intentional.) Margaret, fueled by adrenaline, blew passed Betsy and ended up winning by 41 seconds! It was epic!
Kelley
You are ALWAYS such an inspiration Janae! I’m sorry it didn’t work out for your huge goal this time but it will!!!! You and Emily are amazing!
Eva
Janae I’m so proud of your accomplishment. Sub 3 while your body wasn’t its best is amazing! This experience goes into your bank account too, I’m convinced you’ll reach your goal one day. Your body will remenber the fast paces you have ran in training. But first recover and relax!
kristi O'Donnell
you did amazing! You didn’t give up and that’s what people need to see.
AND OMG YOU WERE GOING TO GO TO HOUSTON? Next time, say yes. I live in Houston and I’m right now planning to do the marathon. I will probably drop to the half since my training has been awful. But I love this course. It’ s just you never know what weather you will get. It could be 20s and raining, hot/humid, or super cold with snow / ice on the ground in parts. Who knows. But it’s really a fast course. I hope next year that you consider it and I can show you around. I live very close to the start, which is handy for my husband. He drops me off and then picks me up…five minutes from the house.
Christine
I love this so much! Every word. I had a bad running day in Boston a few years ago. My whole family flew out to watch me and I had so many people watching from home (including my 130 students). There was no reason for me to have a bad day, but I knew when I got a cramp in mile 1 just like you knew in mile 1. It’s disappointing, but at the end of the day they didn’t care! So many people dream they can even run races, let alone a marathon, that they are proud no matter what! Plus, I wish I could run 2:58 on a GOOD day! You are truly a class act and an awesome representative of the sport :)
Kristi
You are amazing and inspiring!! I PR’d in my 10 miler yesterday (1:17:33). I have been a runner for close to 20 years and have a 3 year old and 20 month old. I knew you were out there kicking butt yesterday- I kept that in my mind and it that helped push me through! You go girl!!!
Keri evans
You are so inspiring! I love your never give up attitude and real life thoughts that you shared because we’ve all had those same feelings! I would DIE to get a sub 3 so to get it on a bad day is pretty incredible! Question…just wondering how you and Emily thought the course was compared to SG? I know it can’t be an apples to apples comparison because you had an amazing day at SG and you did back to back marathons, but just curious as to how you felt running a flatter course vs a hilly/downhill at the end course? Easier? Harder? Having gravity at the end like SG…do you feel like that helps? Or is the flatter easier on your legs? All the things. Anyway, just curious! And congrats on an amazing day!
Nathaly
I also had a bad day racing day in my half marathon yesterday. I know a few little things went wrong causing me to struggle for the last 4 miles. Even though I ran this race 15 minutes faster than last year, I was still so so sad that I didn’t hit my half marathon time goal.
Sara
Janae,
I have been following you for a very long time and I must say, today’s post has been my all time favorite. You have grown SO much over the years and your mental and physical strength has never been more apparent than now.
I recently had a goal race that ended in my first ever DNF. If it weren’t for solid mind work prior to the race, I know my end result would have been much different. I’m in physical therapy now and know with confidence I will run (even stronger) on a different day.
Super proud of you for dreaming big and giving it your all. Can’t wait to follow along for many more years!
xoxo,
Sara
Bonnie
“Training was a rite of purification; from it came speed, strength. Racing was a rite of death; from it came knowledge.”
― John L. Parker Jr., Once a Runner
Learn and move on. Believe in yourself and keep trying.
Caroline Smith
Janae!!!! Congrats on finishing this race so strong. The mental toughness that running teaches us really came through — and even though you didn’t reach your goal (YET)…physically you gave it everything and that IS ENOUGH!
I had to DNF at one of my BMs…so I know that ‘do I hop on the bus?’ dilemma. I felt all the feels like you did after that one…but I tried to focus on what I was proud of: getting to the start, running what I could despite the lack of training, and also for knowing that it was smarter to DNF than to finish in the med tent (or hospital!). It only made me hungrier for more…my next marathon I qualified again and finishing the following years BM was total redemption!
Rest and enjoy your amazing accomplishment! Cannot wait to follow your next adventure!
Marissa Mooney
And now I’m crying!! I love your mom’s text and it’s SOO true! And the fact that you still hit sub 3 even feeling crummy is amazing!!
I ran a 20k trail race this weekend and while it was a relatively small field, I came in as the first woman. That has never happened before!! My quads are now on fire. Ha!
I’ve had a handful of bad races. My last one was just last month. I was late to the start line and did too much of a warmup, and it just completely messed with me. Around mile 6 or 7, I said “screw it, I’m here to have fun.” I slowed down a bit and forced myself to smile. We all have bad running days, it just stinks when it happens to be at a race.
Emily H.
Janae, you had an absolutely amazing race! It is incredibly frustrating not to meet our goals, especially those that we have worked tirelessly for day in and day out. I have not even a sliver of doubt that you will get your OTQ! You are one of the most dedicated, strong, and passionate people that I have gotten a chance to meet, and you continuously inspire me. Thank you for being so real, raw, and honest in your posts. I hope that you are able to get some much deserved R&R during this holiday season and enjoy time with your family! We all have a lot we can learn from you! :) Cheering you on from NH!!!
Yoriko
Hello Janae!
I am so happy for you that you never gave up and finished the race. You are such an inspiring and wonderful person.
I cried whey I read about the guy with the red shorts who encouraged you when you were feeling down. Runners are the best!
Hope you rest well and have a great day.
I will continue to look forward to reading your blog in Japan :-)
Adam R.
First and foremost, CONGRATS! I know I don’t want a congrats when I don’t PR but like your mom said, you did another marathon sub-3:00 for God’s sake. Lol. I think it’s awesome you finished the race despite things not going your way. I follow a few other runners and I’ve seen several times where they’ll drop out of a race if they’re not on pace to hit their goal time and then cite an injury. I’m sure that’s true sometimes but I appreciate your honesty and not coming up with an excuse.
You’re a great running role model!
Brittany
I recently started following your blog (a few months ago) and was so excited when I saw you were running CIM! I ran it yesterday as well and I feel like I took a beating. I dealt with some injuries this season and took it way slow, but felt defeated by the temp and humidity. It wasn’t hot but it was unexpectedly warm and humid (Last year was a wonderful 31 at the start). I chafed in places I’ve never chafed before!!! By 15 miles in i knew it would be my slowest race so just rolled with it, took it easy and had a great time. It’s such a well executed race it was great to just take a deep breath, acknowledge most people don’t even attempt a marathon and just cruise in To the finish. Thanks for sharing your experience as my friends and i all crashed and burned yesterday and it was nice to hear someone fast (accomplished & well trained) struggled As well. It’s a good reminder we all have our off days. On to the next one!
Kari
I dare any runner to read this recap and NOT tear up! Geez I’m a wreck over here! I am soooo proud of you guys. Thank you for being honest with ALL the feelings because honestly when I was tracking you I thought “Oh she must just be so devastated this day is not going her way!” But then right away I thought “She was probably sad but then reminded herself that such a quick turnaround and big goal was worth going for but still a really hard thing to do and she has now sub-3’d 3 times in like 14 months!” Lol because I feel like that’s what you do-your mental game is so strong! I right away thought, JUST based on following your races, that maybe your body doesn’t do well in humidity and also flying in day before was probably less than ideal. Also I LOVE your mom she is brilliant and says just the right thing! Sorry my comment is practically longer than your recap. You’re amazing. Enjoy your hard-earned REST and the holiday season!!
Jarrelle
JANAE!!!! The blog we have all been waiting for! We all have watched you train hard through this season and look what you did. . . You FINISHED! You fought hard, pushed through, stayed positive, even when it would have been easier to give up, and look what you accomplished, a FINISH! Way to go! You had so much support! Thank you for sharing your day with us! Now rest and enjoy Christmas!!
XO
Katherine
Congrats on another sub 3! You are amazing for chasing your goals-you inspire me so much and reading about your training inspired me to run my first half in November! I know there will be more amazing things from you in the future!
Annemarie
It’s so crazy reading your recap b/c I also ran CIM yesterday and my race experience was also very bizarre. Going out I felt amazing. I was hitting the right paces, the hills felt easy and I had a ton of energy, my fueling was perfect. But for some reason, my paces started to fall off for thr last few miles and I couldn’t explain it. I had more in me, I could feel it. But my legs weren’t having it. I was going for a sub 3:30 and I crossed in 3:32:56. It was a PR by 22 seconds so I am happy about that. BUT my legs are not that sore today and I still had energy after the race. I KNOW I had a fun 3:30 in me. But my legs weren’t on board. I have never experienced this before. The only thing I can think of is that I need to up my strength game. And that’s what I’ll work on between now and Berlin.
I know it probably doesn’t feel this way right now, but you rocked that race. Having JUST done a marathon in Oct, your time is amazing. So congrats to you! Celebrate your strength and persistence- you deserve it!
Melvie
I haven’t gotten through reading all the comments, so this is probably already been said, but you are such an inspiration to me. You are half my age, have a super busy life with your little family and you are so REAL in everything you do and say. I use your positive attitude and perseverance as a beacon to me when I do my own little version of “running”. Thank you for not giving up, that is the amazingness of you!
Laura S.
Here’s my tale of woe: About three weeks ago I went to Vegas to do the Rock N Roll Half on the Strip at night. I was so excited! I’m super slow with a goal time of 3:15, but I knew I had this thing in the bag. On my 11 mile run two weeks before, I hit my goal pace and ran my last mile a min/mi faster than that because I still felt fresh. I just knew it would be easier in Vegas because I’m used to heat and the absolute worst humidity (southern coastal Georgia).
So, the first 6 miles felt amazing. I was getting a few seconds faster every mile, no problem, and enjoying the cooler air. I did notice that I had sweat dripping off my elbows, which should have been a warning sign, but I didn’t really process what that meant. I got to about 7.5 miles and suddenly started feeling queasy. I had more of my gel, I drank more water, I took some Gatorade. Nothing. Helped. I had to run/walk the entire last 5 miles because if I ran more than about 30 consecutive feet I started feeling like I would puke, but I was very sure that nothing I’d taken had upset my stomach, so puking wouldn’t help. I finished 19 minutes later than my goal. After I sat down on a curb, I realized I was absolutely crusted with salt, worse than I’ve ever been in 80 degree heat and 80% humidity. I felt like crap because I’d sweated out so much of my electrolytes, which finally dawned on me right about the time I passed out on the curb in front of the Bellagio. Got myself a bruise on my elbow, but I made it back to my hotel okay. Didn’t puke either. On reflection I probably should’ve partaken of the baked potatoes being handed out at one of the aid stations…but hindsight’s 20/20.
Still, I’m simultaneously proud of myself for finishing and really sad and disappointed I missed my goal by so much, so I’m right there with you. I suspect one of the lessons we both can learn from this is that humidity (or lack thereof) matters. ;)
Also I think on Runner’s World? I saw a suggestion that for each race we set ourselves a gold, silver, and bronze goal. My gold was 3:15, silver 3:22, and bronze sub-3:30. Obviously my body wasn’t going to let me have any of those, but while I was running, it was definitely in my mind that even if I didn’t get my gold, I could maybe get my silver or bronze, and it helped me keep going.
Andrea Gayhart
Your moms text brought tears to me. She is so right, the things you have accomplished this year is just amazing. I’m sorry your bad day was a race day.
Damarys
Congratulations! This is still such a huge accomplishment for you and you should feel so proud of yourself!
I completed the Corning, NY marathon–and after mile 17, it was pretty much mental from there. Like you, I wanted to give up so bad so I’m glad you tackled those feelings and pushed through!
Nicole
Your mom! ❤️ It made me tear-up reading her wide words.
Nicole
*wise (not wide!) ha!
Grace
Janae, I think it’s truly inspiring how open you are about your goals! So many of us, myself included, are afraid to even talk about our dreams for fear of failure or embarrassment (I suspect women struggle with this more than men.). But honestly, if we meet every goal in the time we originally plan, it probably means we aren’t being ambitious enough. Thank you for dreaming big and not being afraid to talk about it!
Mary
It’s nice to see Bangs friend! It would be nice to get her baklava recipe and hear about her life.
kelly
ps-did red shorts guy finish with you?
Kristin Parker
Love this post! Thanks for sharing! Sorry it wasnt your day but setting big goals is awesome!
Kimberly Thurston
Janae,
First, I think you are awesome and inspiring no matter what your time! You didn’t quit and that’s so important. Your very worst running day will be more than I can ever dream of accomplishing! ? ? I know it can be disappointing when we don’t reach our goals especially when we put in so much time hard work and heart.(Like you did!) But sometimes it’s just as important and rewarding to not reach that goal right away. It teaches us so much. One of my favorites quotes , “I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 Times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan. (And I don’t mean that you failed, just that your goal wasn’t met this time.) :)
You will get that goal in the future, I know it! And how blessed are your kids that you can teach them these life lessons.
Second, Andrew and your mom and just awesome! Her text had me in tears. Love and support means so much!
And lastly, I hope you take it easy and enjoy the beautiful Christmas season with your family. Xo from Florida
Jenny Faasavalu
Janae, I had to send screenshots of your post to my missionary, Sister Beks, because your post is so applicable to all of life. Thank you for sharing, thank you for being awesome. I don’t run, but I love love love you and your family. I read everyday and I’m uplifted EVERYDAY. Please don’t ever stop ! (Running or blogging— ha ha.)
Chiara
I’m sorry it wasn’t your day – lots of folks didn’t do well with the humidity and I have to say the wind in 14-16 was rough. I was starting to get concerned it was going to derail my race. I was relieved to not be as fast as you because there are just fewer people to block the wind when you’re in that faster end of the crowd (and I was looking for every big dude to get behind in that windy stretch).
IDK, racing two road marathons in a quarter is extremely challenging and something I have never done well with. That’s why I took NYCM slow. I suspect the fact that you don’t hurt at all post marathon is that probably something else in the lead up was the issue. Maybe not enough recovery, over trained?, maybe even carb depletion may not be something that works for you, IDK.
But “hanging on” for a sub 3 on a bad day is just crazy to me – you are badass :)
Krystina
First of all, HUGE CONGRATS on a strong-fought-for sub-3 finish. When you’re not feeling it from basically the start, it’s quite an achievement to keep grinding away and work towards that finish line. The days when things aren’t clicking like they should be are so darn tough – and you still finished under 3. I know that sub-2:45 is there for you, you will get there and then Brooke will cry happy tears that you “made the Olympics team.” :-) It has been so awesome to follow your journey and you have me inspired to go after sub-3 too. Why not? I’m older than you but there’s nothing saying I can’t have – and achieve – big goals. Thank you for inspiring all of us and enjoy the recovery – especially as you hit the slopes! If you find yourself in PC, please msg me on IG (run2thrive)!!
Emily
Just chiming in to say how inspiring you are to me – as a runner and as a person. It’s such a pleasure to follow your amazing running career! Way to gut it out on a tough day.
Rhoda
I balled reading this entire post. I still say, a huge Congratulations to you!! You wanted a sub 3 for so many years and now you have 3 under your belt in the last year! That is amazing! I love that your husband is so supportive. I feel all your emotions! You are one strong woman!! Thank you for sharing your incredibly inspiring journey!
Colleen
Soo much respect! Great job out there. You are an inspiration to all of us runners not to quit when things get tough. That is really hard during a marathon! Also, this is an amazing example of real life for your kids. You will get it. We all know you will. Big goals in running take time. Thank you for being real and for sharing. I’m “borrowing” some of the mantras you wrote down. Enjoy your recovery and the holiday!
adrianna
i know its been said time and time again above, but you should be SO PROUD of yourself! we as readers/ virtual friends! absolutely are. you did an incredible job, not just in the race but with all your training. you are a true inspiration and your attitude, feelings, perspective…thank you for sharing and thank you for being YOU! truthful and human and just amazing! and to all those commenters above who raced, you rocked it, too! y’all motivate and inspire me so much :)