Stalked!! & Do I wish I never?

Hello everyone!  Janae asked me, her mom, months ago to write a guest post about a couple of the lessons I have learned in my life.   I am finally getting around to it!  When I think of my life’s lessons I think of how grateful I am for them AFTER I go through them. So here are a couple of my lessons (ones I can disclose anyway) and what I learned from them.  Please let me know what trials/experiences you have been through and what you learned from them.  

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I grew up in Southern California with my teen years in the late 60’s.  My first wake up call came when I was stalked at the age of 18.  The stalker called my phone every morning at 6 AM during the week (I guess he took the weekends off, ha!) and threatened me for around 18 months. He would tell me what I had worn and where I had been the day before. The police could not seem to catch this person, phone traces weren’t what they are now, so they needed me to answer the phone to try to get  more information.  (I did eventually change phone numbers too but he still got to me.)  We all knew what he sounded like but not what he looked like. Thanks to his bomb threat, he also ruined our wedding reception because the police had to be there, opening all the presents and checking out people, which delayed our reception until most people left. 

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Eventually he was caught. He was a mentally unstable person who had gone through my cashier’s line at work and fixated on me. I had no idea what he looked like or that he had seen me at work.  I didn’t see this but was told there was a wall in his house that had hundreds of pictures of me. I never saw anyone around me with a camera either. Creepy! 

Do I wish I didn’t have to go through this trial? Not really. Early on in this trial I had to make a decision.  I could stay home and hide under my bed or I could go to school (college), work at my job and date my boyfriend (now my husband).  It took a little while to build up the courage necessary knowing some guy was after me but I decided to live my life. I learned to keep moving forward under difficult circumstances.  I learned about mind control so I could focus on my day and not on fear.  (Although now you know why I ALWAYS have a dog ((hypoallergenic, see next trial)) trained to let me know what is going on in my house! Ha! Maybe not so brave afterall!)

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For the first time in my life I had to be observant of everything that was going on around me. Maybe I learned the kind of courage that you guys show when you train and run 26.2 or 50 miles!!   That is so scary to me!  This experience also helped me understand people that are fearful.  I know what they are feeling and really try to help them.  

Health trials can really be “helpful” as far as teaching us life skills.  Here are some of the highlights of my last 13 years (all started in my fifties), not because of poor me (everyone has trials), but because then I can talk about the lessons I learned.  (Thanks to the resting requirement, last year I started a new hobby, hand wood carving!)

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*Mega flu shot reaction 13 years ago that caused horrible neuropathy pain in my feet for years (so glad Crocs were invented, even convinced myself they were cute), wrecked my immune system (still a problem),  gave me asthma, allergies to everything outside, medicines etc., 5 years of shots to help immune system and still required. (But I’ve sure gotten out of a lot of yard work!)

*Heart rhythm problems resulting in a heart ablation to correct one easy electrical problem and one hard 2nd pacemaker problem (70% corrected and growing back again). Rhythm problems cause me to have to rest a lot and not get overly tired or problems start.  

*Due to a retinal artery occlusion the doctors found a hole in my heart which is not operable.  Good, because no way was I signing that permission form anyway.  Yikes! 

*What little hearing I had tanked to almost none.  Not painful, just annoying and produces a feeling of seclusion and frustration.   Lesson learned- always have someone with you at the airport!  Trying to lip read moustached agent+concealed gun questions+wrong answers=tense moments you never want to experience!  Ha!

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Do I wish I never had the flu shot etc.?  Depends on the day you ask, but I sure wouldn’t trade all that I have learned.  I have a huge understanding and empathy for people living in chronic pain.  It is so hard to get away from it and be part of life.  I am sooooo grateful for pain free days that I used to take for granted.  I live with a couple problems that can turn life threatening really quickly.  Thanks to other trials I have the ability to use mind control to not focus on the problems and enjoy the here and now.  After having to live indoors (my bedroom to be exact) with 3 air cleaners running 24/7 for several springs and summers, I can’t even describe the joy of taking a walk outside in all of nature’s beauty now.  During that “bubble” time I entered over 83,000 US census names and info (indexing) into the volunteer digitizing program so I did accomplish something.  I cherish going to my kids events and grandchildren’s outdoor activities.  I dreamed of the day I could do that again and boy I have appreciated it!  I can really sympathize, even though my health trials aren’t that bad, with people that have really, heavy duty health problems. I am grateful for that empathy. I try to focus on the important things in life like my family. 

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PS Janae here for a second… I put Brooke in the dress I was wearing above:

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I guess what I have learned in my life is that if we are able to learn from our hard trials, we will gain the emotional strength to live this life as a much stronger person who can then help others who are going through hard trials too. That’s really the key. 

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Runners are amazingly supportive!  I love it!  Thanks for reading!  

Please let me know what trials/experiences you have been through and what you learned from them.  

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71 comments

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I’ve been going through some really intense health trials – metastatic breast cancer, diagnosed at age 32, when my son was 2 years old. It’s been almost 2 years since my diagnosis, and though my disease is incurable (and, unwofrunately, likely terminal) I am still here. Health challenges – no matter what they are, are so consuming and difficult. Often, people tell me that they can’t compare their struggles to mine, but truthfully, some days I find a stiff/painful joint (side effect of my medication) or a cold sore (also a side effect for me) more painful and frustrating than the actual cancer. We all have our own issues and challenges, and we can choose to use them to be more empathetic and inclusive, or to play the “who has it harder” game – and I try to play the former. Sending you and all of your sweet family lots of love as you navigate the tougher parts of life! <3

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Hi Emily,
HRG Mom here. I am so sorry for the super intensive health trial that you are going through. Such a fight everyday, I can’t even imagine. You sound very brave though. You also have a great perspective on how to mentally handle everyday. I will pray for you and hope that you win this battle\ with cancer. Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. You make us stronger too.

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Thank you for sharing! Your story inspires me to take every thought captive. Praying today is pain-free for you.

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Hi Ali,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for your comment. Today seems to be a great day! Thank you for reading!

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Wow! What an awesome perspective on life you have! Thank you for sharing and reminding us to be grateful and strong!

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Hi Terri,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for your comment. I love all of you guys and your incredible strength to set such amazing goals and work so hard to achieve them. Thank you for reading!

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Wow! What an awesome perspective on life you have! Thank you for reminding us to be grateful and strong!

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Wow, this is an incredible post. What a horrible and bizarre experience that was with the stalker! Thanks for sharing your perspective. No wonder Janae and her siblings are such incredible people- now it all makes sense. (BTW- maybe I missed it, but at the beginning of the post I was not sure who was writing this. I figured it out as you went along, but maybe some clarification would be good for people who may not be as familiar with this blog.) Have a great day!

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Hi Jenny,
HRG Mom here. Thanks for the tip! I added in that it was me. Thanks for reading! I hope you have a great day too!

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It’s like you knew I needed to read this today! My two week old son was just diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and it’s been crushing. This post reminds me he and I will fight for his health. Thank you, your stories are inspiring!

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Hi Lauren,
HRG Mom here. I am so sorry about your two week old son’s Cystic Fibrosis diagnosis. I can’t imagine how you feel. Your attitude that you will both fight this battle is exactly what you need for such a hard trial. I hope you can feel some peace and calm too during this rough time. Please leave updates on Janae’s comments about your progress. Thank you for sharing. I know others have similar trials and it does help to hear from someone else who is trying to handle hard trials too. That is why I wrote this post. Thank you.

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What a strong post HRG mom! No wonder you are wise and practical. Thank you for sharing your stories.

I went through a very scary separation and divorce after almost 15 years of a tumultuous marriage (I’m still recovering from all those traumatic years!) But, I really felt myself coming back as soon as we separated. Even though it was still scary and I was on edge, I became more and more like my true self. It’s like my soul had been reborn. I notice that I’m even more empathetic and non-judgmental than before, and I have a greater understanding for those in emotional or physical crisis.

Thank you again for sharing. Sending you some high fives for your outlook and enjoying the outdoors again!

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Hi Kelly,
HRG mom here. I am so sorry that you went through such a horrible marriage/divorce experience. That is so hard. I am glad that you are out of it and back on track with living your life. Sounds like you learned some great life skills along the way! I hope you have a wonderful day.

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Thank you so much for sharing. Your positive attitude is amazing and inspiring.

My husband suffered a heat stroke in 2009 while training with his National Guard unit and was hospitalized for three days with complications. Over the next three years these complications slowly lead to his not being able to walk more than a few feet or stand for more than a few minutes. He was in constant, terrible pain and could no longer work.

As much as I wish he didn’t have to go through this ordeal, it has made me love him that much more. Watching him deal with constant pain without ever complaining and dealing with the constant frustration of medical testing and VA claim denials without a shred of bitterness has been truly awe inspiring. I don’t know how anyone could go through all of this and not be bitter or angry. I felt that same awe when reading your story.

Because he is unable to work, he became the stay-at-home parent when we had our son and he says he feels like he has found his purpose. Slowly, over the last year he has been able to do more and more. Sometimes we don’t always understand why things happen, but we can look back and see how much we’ve learned.

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Hi Megan,
HRG Mom here. What a horrific health trial your husband has suffered. I am so sorry for what he has been through. It sounds like he is a hero for the champion way he handled everything though. I am so glad he is slowly improving. Your last sentence is so true. We look back and see what we’ve learned. Thank you for sharing. I hope you and your husband have a great day.

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❤️❤️❤️

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Thank you for you post! I appreciate the time you took to share your trials.

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Hi Amanda,
HRG mom here. Thank you for your comment and thank you for reading!

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Given the strong women you raised, I had assumed that you yourself must be an amazingly strong woman, but reading this has given me a new appreciation for just how strong. No wonder your girls are so amazing!! Their mother is practically a super hero. Thank you for sharing those private details. I live with chronic pain and it is really helpful to know that you are still able to live a beautiful and rich life. It gives me hope for my future.

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Hi Stephanie,
HRG mom here. Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you live in chronic pain. That is so hard to deal with. I do know that you can still have a good life, it just takes a lot of mental strength and work to get there. I hope your pain gets better and you can enjoy each and every day. Thanks for reading.

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What a truly inspiring woman you are! Thank you for sharing your trials and the lessons learned from them. It’s no wonder you have such great kids and grandkids 😊

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Hi Wendy,
HRG mom here. Thank you for your comment. I have already this morning been inspired by such strong women who have commented. It’s so great when we learn from each other’s experiences in life. Thanks!

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I am so sorry you have had to learn those things the hard way. Trials can make us softer and stronger or harder and bitter. I think we choose (maybe with some help from God) which path we are going to take.
My husband struggles with depression and I know that is his trial but it affects our whole family. I’ve learned to set healthy boundaries and take care of myself. If I let his depression get me down, it’s SO MUCH WORSE for everyone and he’s so grateful that he doesn’t have to feel guilty for hurting me because I don’t let it. I just give him his space and I’m there when he needs me. This took a lot of years to learn. This doesn’t sound all that horrible and it is very simplified but it’s been a struggle for us and our marriage for 11 years and mental health is a very real issue.

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Hi Katie,
HRG Mom here. I am so sorry about your husband’s depression. That is very hard to handle. Emotional drama is so draining and does affect the entire family. It sounds like over the years you have figured out a good way to handle it though. I am so impressed by your ability to keep your family together under such trying circumstances. You must be a very strong person. Thank you for sharing so we learn from your strenth!.

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Wow, I really needed this today! I was down in the dumps a bit about my hamstring and I needed something like this to put things in perspective.

HRG Mom – you are a true Super-Hero! Thanks you so much for posting this. I am going to use my down time from running to try something new like riding my bike and jumping rope (which I have already tried twice the past week and failed miserably, lol) – and smile the whole time :)

The only real health trial I can share is being a bit shaken up to learn I had Hashimoto’s several years ago. I was more scared about what could happen – but nothing ever did. I took the meds and have really not suffered any side effects so I feel pretty lucky. Lesson learned – don’t worry about what COULD happen and live life in the moment.

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Hi John,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for sharing. Sorry about the hamstring but using the running time to do something else sounds perfect. I laughed about jumping rope. Kids do it with ease but adults not so much without practice. I’m gad the Hashimoto’s didn’t turn into a huge ordeal. You are right, living life in the moment is the way to go! Thank you for reading.

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Hah, I thought I would pick up jumping rope in a few tries. Little did I know it would make a fool out of me, lol. I have never felt so uncoordinated! I am determined to get it. I’ll just hide in the garage until I get it down, which might be a while…..

Reading through all these comments… I am impressed at the toughness of the entire HRG community and the trials some of them have endured. You must be so proud that your daughter’s blog (as well as your posts) helps out so many of us!

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Hi John,
HRG Mom here. Good luck with the jump rope skill! It is so amazing to me the strength that runners have in all areas of their lives. This is an amazing group of people. Yes, I am proud of Janae. Because of her own experiences she has been able to help so many people with similar problems. Thank you so much for you comments!

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Wait wait wait, you have only been carving wood for a year? Are you kidding me?! Your three examples are beyond impressive. I do simple wood carvings and engravings (for more than a year now) and I am nowhere near that skill level. Unless someone carved, to scale, the Taj Mahal or something, your second place carving should have won any contest.
But anyway, on a more serious note thank you for taking the time to share your story and put yourself out there. A tough thing to do on the internet nowadays. So truly, thank you for your story.
And keep that carving going.

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Hi Jay,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for the wood carving compliments. I really enjoy doing it. I can only do hand carving as power carving produces wood dust which I can’t take. But it is like with each hand tool stroke the wood absorbs my stress. I don’t know how else to describe it. I love how calming it is. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!

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Agree 100%. I do all my woodwork with hand tools (just therapeutic). It really is calming, I get it.

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HRG Mom, you are amazing. Now we see where Janae gets that strong, sweet spirit =)

Thank you for sharing your stories. Those both sound incredibly painful and challenging, but I love your emphasis on focusing on the silver linings and gratitude.

Both of my biggest challenges in life turned out to be two of my greatest joys: I had terrible post-partum anxiety after my firstborn. It was such a painful time in life, but I am so thankful to be on the other side of it, and now enjoy life so much with my son. It gave me a tremendous amount of empathy for any new mom – or anyone! – struggling now. My second son was born with a congenital anomaly. His first year of life was filled with surgeries and uncertainties. He is now thriving. But I will never forget the way those early days felt, and I advocate for and work with new moms facing similar circumstances. And at the end of the day, I will just be eternally grateful for the gift of this little child.

HRG Mom – thank you for sharing!

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Hi Kristi,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for sharing your trials. I am so sorry you went through so much, different types of trials, with both of your children. Anxiety/depression is a very hard trial and not something you can just “brush off and move on”. I am so impressed that you took all of what you learned from having a critically ill baby and are now helping others. That is great! Thank you for your story as it helps us do better in life!

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THANK YOU for sharing all of this with us. I’ve been going through some health/injury “things” all summer, and it really helps to know that one isn’t alone when going through something like this. Your positive attitude is really admirable—no wonder you have such amazing kiddos and such a great family!
And, I LOVE and ADMIRE your woodcarving skills!!!!!!!!!!!! Your pieces are just gorgeous!

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Hi Jen,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for your comment. A positive attitude in life is so helpful! I love woodcarving! So fun. Thanks for reading!

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Hello HRG and HRG Mom: I just want to say I have been reading this blog for years.. at least 5-6 years so not as long as your oldest readers I guess! I think its fair to say that sometimes I am a little suspicious of positivity — it just feels to fake or put on or over the top.. or something in me cringes when I encounter it. Even though I read the blog I was hugely suspicious of its feel good and positive vibe for a long time — but HRG you definitely proved me wrong or rather won me over. I mean I was won over long before this post.. but I just want to say super impressed by your commitment to stay positive no matter what you encounter.. very impressive and worthy of emulation!

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Hi Minu,
HRG Mom here. Hahahaha! I know just what you mean but as her mom I can testify that she really is and always has been very positive and super nice to everyone. Also she is and always has been known as the energizer bunny. She never stops. As a child she didn’t sit around watching tv or playing video games either (except Full House and something else I can’t remember the name of). She is/was always moving. Hahaha, so that is not fake either. Thank you for reading! I hope you have a great day.

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Thanks for the post HRG-mom.
Lesson learned:. anxiety and or depression is NOT a matter of will power. Makes me realize those retraining their brain, finding coping strategies, etc. are do some hard hard work those who have never struggled might not truly understand.

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Hi Erica,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for sharing your lesson learned. I completely agree. Depression and anxiety is real and must be addressed by professionals who understand these problems. Those who are going through depression or anxiety are fighting a hard battle. They need the same help and compassion that all physical trials require. Thank you for your comment. I hope you have a great day.

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Such a great lesson on gratitude. Thank you for sharing.

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Hi Lauren,
HRG Mom here.
Thank you for your comment and thank you for reading! Have a great day!

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thanks for the post! your attitude is incredible!

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Hi Erika,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for your comment! I hope you have a great day!

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I could not love this more. What an inspiration you and Janae are! You have no idea who I am, but I am a daily reader and I have benefited so much from this blog post. Thank you!

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Hi Toni,
HRG Mom here. Thank you so much for your kind comment. It means a lot to me. There are so many people out there who are struggling with hard trials. I hoped this would help someone. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day!

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Thank you for sharing! I also really embrace the idea that difficult circumstances are presented to us so that we can learn valuable lessons (to help us get through the next crisis sometimes, unfortunately).

Three and a half years ago my husband nearly died in a backcountry avalanche. His rescue (we didn’t know if rescuers would be able to get him out before he bled to death), hospitalization and recovery were the most difficult thing I have ever gone through by far. In the following months, I was diagnosed with “acute stress disorder” which is similar to PTSD (panic attacks, nightmares, a feeling of floating outside my body… our brains are so powerful!).

I learned so many lessons but these are the top two:
1) Have patience, compassion and grace with everyone you encounter, because you do not know what they are going through or where they have come from
2) Self-reliance. I needed to “rescue” myself from the mental health issues by recognizing them and reaching out for help. My husband was very supportive, but I had to put in the work myself.

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Hi Sarah,
HRG Mom here. What a horrific accident! I can see why you would end up with acute stress disorder. I hope your husband is doing well now. I absolutely love your number 1 lesson learned. I agree that we need to be careful with everyone we are around because we don’t know what they have been through. I also agree that we have to help ourselves and get the help we need and do the work necessary to stabilize us for whatever the future brings. Thank you so much for your comment! Perfect. I hope you have a great day!

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Hi HRG Mom! I love this post! Janae is so lucky to have you!

I am going through a hard time right now actually, dealing with an injury that I don’t think I got running, but really bothers me when I do run. This is horrible timing, because I have two races coming up that I really need to train for. My parents are very into natural healing and refuse to take me to a doctor (since I’m 17, I still live at home), but none of their methods are working. I am just so ready for this problem to be done, and I feel torn between listening to my body and powering through. I am grateful I still have several years before my peak as a runner, but I still wish this hadn’t happened. Looking at some other comments, I realize how selfish this sounds. It really helps me to put my struggles into perspective knowing other are dealing with cancer and chronic pain. I believe God’s got the world in his hands, I just really need to learn to trust Him right now!

I love your wood carvings! They are amazing! My sister and brother are both into woodwork, but I’ve never been able to get into it. I lack patience in many areas, by I do enjoy the art of writing – stories, songs, anything! Maybe I should start my own blog?

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Hi Laura,
HRG Mom here. I am so sorry that you are dealing with an injury. That is so hard especially when you want to run and have races coming up. Patience is also hard because you want it to heal quickly. I hope you start to feel better soon though. If you enjoy writing there are so many careers out there for you and a blog is one of them! Thank you for your comment! Have a great day.

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Just wanted to comment on how hilarious and positive you are!! It’s very obvious to see where janae gets her good attitude and humor from! Thank you for sharing! You sure have been through a lot! I hope your health always continues to improve and that you can enjoy life to the absolute fullest!!

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Hi Emily,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for such nice comments. I sure try to enjoy life! Thanks for reading. I hope you have a great day!

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Wow you have certainly overcome a lot!

I have had my ups and downs, my Dad died when I was 12 and I will have to say my Mom had to go through a lot to keep us afloat but she did it. My husband and I battled infertility and numerous miscarriages to get our awesome kids. My youngest has selective mutism ( severe anxiety disorder) and I have learned so much about anxiety that I am 100% a far better parent. We are not teaching our kids to live in fear of things but to conquer them and to battle anxiety. It’s so important in life. She is doing awesome and I know she is learning how to deal with her anxiety better then most adults! She is going to one brave kid!!

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Hi Carrie,
HRG Mom here. Wow, you sure have had a lot of ups and downs. Losing a parent at such a young age is so hard for the whole family. I’m glad you were able to conquer infertility. That is also a very tough trial. Sounds like you are doing an awesome job teaching you children how to deal with anxiety. That is a skill that is so vital but lots of times we as adults don’t even know how. You sound like a wonderful mom. Thank you for sharing! Have a great day.

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Your family is so lucky to have you and I do appreciate your perspective!

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Hi MD,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for your very kind comment. I really appreciate all of you that are so supportive! Thanks for reading!

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HRG Mom – you are just the best. Love your posts. Love your would carvings too !! Those are amazing.
I’ve have had a few trials myself – I had 2 attempted abductions. First when I was in grade school walking home. Second when I was in high school walking home from a football game with a friend. I outran the attacker in both situations, but only ‘barely’ escaping the one in high school by busting through some strangers front door. No breaking and entering charge either, thankfully. This is the main reason I practice running today at age 45. You just never know when you need those 2 feet. I eventually built confidence back up, but will forever be looking over my shoulder. I also had a stalker in high school but not to the severity as yours. He just made it known he was always there, and he was the gift buyer, flower sender, tried to give me a car, always had hundreds of dollars on accounts like my hair salon… an over indulger in the “nice stalker” way in hopes of winning me over in the creepiest way possible. Glad he was eventually caught. Thanks for sharing your trails with us.

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Hi Michele,
HRG Mom here. Wow! You have really had trouble with people targeting you. That is so scary. I’m glad you are so speedy that you could get away. My stalker only offered to blow up my wedding, no presents offered. Hahaha! I’m glad we made it through these hard times. Thank you for sharing. Have a great evening!

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Thank you for sharing your story!!! I needed to hear this today! Went through difficult pregnancy with 28 week premature babies followed by OA in both knee diagnosis. I commend you for your strong will and beautiful perspective on life. We look forward to reading more posts from you!

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Hi Jessica,
HRG Mom here. I’m so sorry about your premature babies. I hope everything turned out ok. Knee problems are so hard especially for runners I would imagine. Thank you for sharing your trials. Thank you too for your kind comments. I hope things get better for you soon.

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You are one tough cookie, HRG Mom! Did he serve jail time? I hope.

Thanks for the inspiring post!

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Hi Ashley,
HRG Mom here. Thanks for your comment. No, he did not do jail time that I know of. There were no stalker laws until a few years later so the authorities decided to deport him. He was here illegally from Eastern Europe. Otherwise he would not get much jail time because he hadn’t actually physically hurt me. I was happy that it was over. Thanks for reading!

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Wow, yeah, really scary! Were you ever concerned about Janae sharing so much personal information on her blog because of your own experiences?

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Hi Becca,
HRG Mom here. Good question. We don’t worry too much. Actually because of my experiences Janae has amazing security that readers etc. know nothing about. Same with me. When you go through something like I did you really learn all about security measures and use professionals who make sure you are as safe as possible. Thank you for your comment!

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Wow that stalker story is so scary! What a crazy thing to go through. I love your wood carvings, that is a true talent! I’ve been through a lot of tough things in life, but I know they happen for a reason and strengthen me. I’m just trying to remember that AS I’m going through it. I hope you have a great day, it was so nice to read your post.

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Hi Sarah,
HRG Mom here. Thank you for your comment. It is so hard in the intense part of a trial to remember that we will grow and benefit from the hard times. Eventually we can see the wisdom and are glad for our growth. Sounds like you have this all figured out! That is great! Thank you for your kind comments!

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Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us all <3 Such an inspiration you are!! Sometimes the hard things we have to go through really do put into perspective everything else, allowing us to not focus on the little things and to enjoy life a bit more.

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Hi Nikki,
HRG Mom here. I completely agree with you. Perspective is important in how we react to our tough situations. Thank you for your comment and kind remarks. Have a wonderful day tomorrow!

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You’re just really awesome. :)

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You both are such incredible ladies!! Xo Thanks for sharing such powerful words! <3

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Thanks for sharing your story. I have been experience hearing loss due to illness and it will likely continue to get much worse. I agree it’s extremely isolating and frustrating. I was wondering if you have found strategies to cope/compensate and how you learned to lip read.

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Hey Melissa! I am really sorry about what you are going through! My mom is going to send you an email now!

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