What We’ve Learned in 3 Years of Marriage

After 19 months of it, Skye is officially over our Sunday Selfie.

This is what Skye learned at church yesterday…

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But I’m guessing she wasn’t really paying attention.

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The best thing we ate yesterday were these French toast.

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PS this is the bread we love for French toast and it is from Costco.  The slices are so thick and delicious.

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The rest of our day was incredibly lazy.

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I have four random things to tell you before we talk about the things we’ve learned over the last 3 years.

*My brother prefers cooking his marshmallows for s’mores in the oven rather than over the fire and now I see why.  He sets the oven to broil and places the mallows on some parchment paper.  He watches them closely and rotates them and puts them back in so that every side gets cooked perfectly.

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*Andrew got Skye dressed on the 4th of July and at lunch I found that he still had the little bottoms that cover her diaper attached to the dress (it was new).  He just thought it was some weird detail to the dress he didn’t understand:).

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*Andrew and I tried out Blue Poblano last week because we were driving by it and wondered what it was ha.  If you live in the area, you have to try their tacos.

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*This is how we choose our watermelons= The more marks on the outside like the one below (bee stings scars), the better the watermelon.  This one was money.

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Today marks 3 years of marriage to Andrew (which means we have now known each other for basically 3 years and a week… a little bit of an exaggeration but not much;).   It has been an incredible three years filled with so many adventures and so much growth.  We jumped in head first into blending a family and starting our life together and I am so grateful that I get to do this with him.

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I thought it would be fun today to share some of the things that we have learned over the years.

*We have two VERY different definitions of a short run and that my definition changes during the run… Short run to Andrew means 3 miles and short run to me means 4-5 miles but then when we are running the short run I convinced him to do with me, it changes to 6-8 miles;)

*I had NO idea how expensive mountain bikes were until I married Andrew;)

*Something Andrew learned haha:

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*Andrew learned a lot about the blogging/instagram world over the last three years #proInstagramDad. He has become a pro at taking selfies and coming up with blog topics to write about.

*I’ve learned to not cry every time our kids get hurt and Andrew has learned how to deal with all three kids and me crying at the same time.

*We’ve definitely learned that when a problem comes along in our life, it’s US against the problem not us against each other to figure it out.   It’s crazy how much easier the disagreement/problem/argument feels once I switch my perspective over to Me + Andrew against the situation.  Remembering we are on the same team at all times no matter what makes any problems in our life so much easier.

*Andrew learned that whenever a wrestling/tickling match begins, it is him against all of us (even Beretta).

*We both had to learn how to be vulnerable again.  Being vulnerable is hard in the first place and then add to that both of us going through divorces and it has been hard.  Learning to truly be vulnerable and open was something that we definitely needed (and got) help with.  We will both admit that is still hard to be vulnerable at times because of our past lives and the fear of that pain but we are working on it.

*I learned that leaving any lights on in the house or not updating any of my electronics drive Andrew absolutely bonkers.

*Andrew learned that leaving a spoon with peanut butter all over it in the sink or losing at air hockey drives me absolutely bonkers.

*We’ve both learned that Andrew shouldn’t go to Costco alone #lifesavings.

*Andrew has learned, studied, experimented how to be the world’s best race course supporter.  He pretty much creates an excel spreadsheet with all of the details and plans for race morning:)

*We have learned that our roles are constantly changing and it has given us a lot of perspective of what it is like for the other person.  IE understanding how crazy stressful work/providing can be and understanding how crazy stressful staying at home with the kids can be.

*I learned that blending a family is not something that you just figure out one day or year.  It requires CONSTANT work, patience and love as the kids change and situations in our lives change.

*I have learned to be a bit less queasy hearing about blood/medical situations but I am still a work in progress.

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Last week’s most viewed posts:

*What I’ve Been Eating & How Things Have Changed

*A Race and All of the Traditions

*If something with running is not your thing… that is okay!

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What have you learned lately in any of your relationships?

A friend of mine is looking for the best popcorn maker… can anyone share their recommendations on these please?!

Anniversaries—> What’s your ideal way to celebrate them?

Last place that you went out to eat?  What did you think of it?

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47 comments

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Three years already?! Oh my goodness, time flies! Happy Anniversary! :)
My life has been full of my friends getting married and having babies lately – while I’m not in that same place right now, I am SO grateful that they let me celebrate with them! So I would say my learning about my relationships is just reminding myself how great my friends are. I truly am surrounded by the best people! I also have realized I need to start crocheting baby blankets faster at the rate my friends are going…. lol!

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Happy Anniversary!!! Hope you both have a wonderful day! :)

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Hey Janae
Happy anniversary to you and Andrew!
I’ve been reading your blog since “I can’t even remember when I started” and I think I never left a comment here… So here it is: 😊
I’m honestly looking forward to reading your posts everyday! They always make me laugh and also think about the topics you write about. Thank you! You all are just adorable!
I’m on vacation right now and started to read the book you mentioned “the happy runner” and I’m loving it so far! So thanks for the recommendation.😊
Greets from the other side of the Atlantic ocean…
Karin

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Sorry, didn’t mean to post it as a reply.

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Happy anniversary! LOVE this advice – “it’s US against the problem not us against each other to figure it out!” I think my best advice for a happy marriage is (1) try not to be critical, and (2) separate bathrooms.

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Great advice! I love the Us against the problem..I need to remember that!
wobderint where your dress is from in the first photo? I checked Roolee but didn’t see it there. Hah. Thanks :)

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You know me too well! It was a few pages back! I hope you have a great day:)

https://roolee.com/collections/dresses/products/riviera-detail-midi?tap_a=6753-c39683&tap_s=19596-96bbf6

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We just celebrated 25 years last weekend (who in the world is crazy enough to get married around the 4th of July?!) and kept it simple. We went to Anniversary Inn for a night, and then to the temple in Saturday. Loved it. (We’re going on a bigger trip in the winter).

Hey, here’s a recipe you should try- spread peanut butter on a slice of bread then cover with mini marshmallows. Place in the oven and broil (like your brother does) until nice and golden brown . (You have to watch closely, because it happens pretty fast). Yum!!!!! We call them marshmallow toasties at my house, and the kids LOVE them.

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Happy anniversary! We never really formally celebrate our anniversary aside from saying happy anniversary LOL … it’s on New Year’s Eve so sort of gets lost in the holiday shuffle! But anniversary gifts or celebrations are really not important to me or my husband, so it’s not a problem! I can’t imagine the complexities of blending a family, raising one together is hard enough! Yeesh!!

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Congrats on your anniversary! The kids look so young in the wedding picture :)

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I wish my husband was “US against the problem”………….it usually is him against me no matter the problem (mixed faith stress, work stress, money stress, extended family stress, his own poor health stress). Oh well I try to see the good in him everyday. We’re in the depth of a deep trench right now having a mixed faith Sunday stressful day for him yesterday. We’re planned to go camping and fishing this week for 4 days (his idea, I’m not a camper or fisher) and I’ll be the best team player ever.

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Betsy, I am truly so sorry about what you are going through. Praying for you and I’m always here if you need a cheerleader. Thinking about you and way to go getting out for that trip this week!

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Happy Anniversary! That was a fast 3 years. TIme does go fast. We just celebrated 18 years of marriage on June 23rd!
The approach of US against the problem is very very important. It is easy to blame the other person for normal life problems and normal life ups and downs. Good post.

Skye is very funny and her personality shows through the computer. She is very cute and keeps you busy! We use all the same shower items you use from Costco. I recognize them. HA! Have a nice day!

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Thanks for sharing your beautiful marriage with the world and giving all the things you’ve learned. I am getting married in October:)

One thing I’ve learned lately in my relationship is…communication is everything:) Just being open and honest about everything makes situations 10x easier. Even if it doesn’t seem natural. Like when you’re upset telling your s/o how you need support at that moment. Although people assume your s/o should just know how to support you, they aren’t mind readers so just communicating that is so simple and can save a lot of problems;)

Popcorn hack->just take a brown paper bag (like old fashioned lunch bag) and put the kernels in the bottom and fold over the top and microwave. Boom, insta popcorn.

I like to celebrate anniversaries just taking a Saturday and spending the whole day together unplugged and doing whatever we feel like. We rarely do things without a plan so just doing whatever sounds good at that moment is a good way to celebrate “you” as one:)

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Happy anniversary!!! My husband and I are also celebrating our three year anniversary next week! :) We love to celebrate by traveling! We went to Charleston about three weeks ago and did a combo celebration for our anniversaries and to celebrate our 30th (ahhh) birthdays this summer! It’s always so fun to think about everything that you have accomplished since the last anniversary.

We have this popcorn maker, and we love it! You literally just add kernels and pop it in the microwave! No oil or anything greasy to deal with (unless you want to add butter after, ha!)

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/cuisinart-reg-collapsible-microwave-popcorn-maker/1045476921?keyword=popcorn-maker

Have a great day, Janae!

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Wow, congratulations! I can’t believe it’s been 3 years. I’ve been reading your blog since you moved back to Utah and following your story has helped me deal with the rough times in my life. I’m so happy that you are all happy and healthy and I look forward to reading more about your family adventures for many years!

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Andrea, thank you so much for your sweet comment and please keep in touch! I hope you are having a wonderful Monday and thanks for being my internet friend!

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Congratulations on your anniversary!
And thank you for the watermelon tip — I had no idea what those lines were!
My husband is a pilot and is gone frequently on trips for work. We’ve learned to cherish the time we are together, and not take each other for granted. Each day this year, we have told each other one thing we love about each other, and one thing in life we are grateful for. Doing that has really grounded us and helped us realize little (and big) things we sometimes take for granted.

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I love that you guys do that, I want to try that with Andrew! My sis in law has said the same thing about time with my brother that is a pilot… you really cherish the time they are home! I hope you have a great day Stacey!

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Happy Anniversary!! I am so glad that you found each other, you seem to be the perfect match!! We usually celebrate our anniversary by going away somewhere and of course out to dinner at a great restaurant. It isn’t always on the exact date or even close to it.

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I can help solve your PB in the sink problem… let Beretta lick it! I hate washing PB off dishes and silverware so I always let our dogs lick it all off first, then give it a quick rinse before it goes in the dishwasher. Dogs are the best. Happy anniversary.

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Brilliant. This will solve all of our problems hahah. Thank you and beretta will be so happy:) Have a great day Lauren!

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Happy anniversary, Janae and Andrew! I’ve enjoyed watching your journey these past 3 years. Brooke and Knox have changed so much – you don’t really realize it until you see your wedding picture.

We got married on May 25th, so we always celebrate with at least a long weekend on Memorial day. Our favorite is getting away somewhere, just the two of us. We’ve done everything from Disneyland to two weeks in Europe! Our 30th is in 2021 and we’re seriously considering an African Safari.

I picked Les up at the end of a bike ride a couple of Saturdays ago and we went to Bandits Grill & Bar. The food is always good – got their BBQ chicken sandwich that time. I have no idea if this is anywhere near where you live, but there is one in Cottonwood Heights, UT.

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Happy Anniversary! At first I was going to say I believe that Knox has changed the most since your wedding picture, and then I realized that Brooke has grown a leg! LOL

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Happy Anniversary! My husband and I will be celebrating our 9th next week :) July is a great month to get married!
I love what you wrote about the importance of partnership in a marriage – the fact that it is you + Andrew together, working toward a solution, rather than the two of you against each other. It’s something I am still working on!
I also just wanted to mention how much I enjoy reading your posts. I’ve been so inspired by your journey as a runner, as a mom, and as a human being. I think you are awesome!

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Happy Anniversary Janae and Andrew! Cheers to 3 years!!! I think it’s awesome that you did a post about the things you two have learned along the way, the fun/funny and some of the tougher and grittier things too. Life is bumpy and it’s so great that you can share that. I love your meme about the milk in the fridge. #me Andrew, take comfort in knowing that there is another husband out there who often hears “WWWWHHHHHYYYYY?!?!?!” :) But what I really love when you mentioned that “it’s US against the problem.” So true. And I’ve been married for a really long time and that is a lesson we still work on all the time ourselves. ;) I hope you have a great anniversary and really enjoy the day together. You definitely deserve it!

As far as today’s questions, I’ll just jump in with the restaurant one. We just got back from a trip from Atlanta to visit family. We hit up The Flying Biscuit for the first time ever (even though we’re from Atlanta and have gone back lots of times since moving away). GIRL! I seriously almost cried when I ate my first bite of food. I am not lying. Having had to go GF this past year has been lame, but then going back to the south was straight up miserable. I pretty much ate coleslaw and baked beans at every restaurant for the first three days of the trip. I finally told my husband I just couldn’t do it anymore. Not only did The Flying Biscuit have half a menu of AMAZING GF options, but the stuff my family got that wasn’t GF, they said was incredible too. It was so good, we went back the next day! So, yeah, a MUST DO restaurant! Also, a while back you asked for race suggestions. I totally forgot to pipe up, but every July 4th, Atlanta has the Peachtree Roadrace. It’s (I think) the largest 10k race in the nation. I’ve never done it but it’s a big deal and people love it. Plus Atlanta has the brand new Suntrust Stadium for the Braves, which was really cool, so bucket list for Andrew too. So, there is my vote for you two for a future trip/race/restaurant. :)

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Happy, happy Anniversary Janae and Andrew!
The biggest lesson(s) I have learned is that if I need something, I need to ask. It may seem obvious, but it isn’t to him. Also, just because he doesn’t remember doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It is in one ear and out the other. If it is really important, I need to write it down for him or remind him 10x’s a day;-).

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Happy anniversary to both of you! It’s so nice to read about you two, you seem like such a good team :)

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Happy Anniversary!! We had a pretty short dating/engagement too…when you know you know!! Recently I’ve learned and am still learning to not sweat the small stuff, look for the good, be grateful, and communicate! I’m hoping to go somewhere big for our ten year anniversary, but until then we just do a special dinner.

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I’m laughing because I bought that same dress for my daughter from Target and dressed her in it without even realizing it had those little pants attached. I had even washed it and everything and never noticed them lol. Happy anniversary!

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My husband and I got married on 7/7/2016! And we also only dated for like 3 months haha. Happy anniversary!

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Happy anniversary yesterday! We have a very similar story, I love it!

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Happy Anniversary!!! My husband and I have been married for 6 years and I learned about mountain bike prices when we got married too! We moved to a city with incredible trails and he said he wanted to get one (we were broke!) and I was like oh sure we can spend a couple hundred on a mountain bike for you hahahaha Now I know better ;)

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Happy Anniversary Andrew and Janae. I am so very happy for you both.

I am a long time reader and felt like I experienced SO much of what you went through before you met Andrew to this point.

What an incredible love story and blending of two families. It all has made my heart so happy for ALL OF YOU. I can’t believe three years has gone by. I remember like yesterday when I read you were getting married. Here’s to many more years together with a life filled with love, joy and happiness.

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Happy Anniversary!!

I also noticed that we have the same shampoo, conditioner, and body wash lol costco for lifeeeeee!!!!!

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I love love love your wedding dress and have been meaning to ask where it was from!?

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Oh thank you so much! I actually had it made! If we are the same size you can use mine!

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1. Happy Anniversary!
2. How did I not think of toasting marshmallows in the oven until now?! Totally trying that.
3. I love your blog and have never commented, so I just wanted to say your posts are awesome and I appreciate you!! :)

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Oh my goodness thank you so so much! I hope you are having a wonderful night and keep in touch!

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The BEST popcorn maker by far is the whirly-pop. It’s one youbpuy on your stove and you spin a little knob that spins metal little poles at the bottom of the pan, thst is covered. You add coconut oil and butter at the bottom and then some salt but don’t over salt it. Then you put in the kernels and close the lid and turn it until the kernels stop popping. We then melt a small amount of butter in a small dish and pour it evenly on the popcorn with a tiny bit of salt. Tastes better than movie theater popcorn without the filmy stuff left behind.

For anniversaries we go big on big anniversaries. For our 5 year we went to Serbia where my husband served his mission. For our 10 year we went on a cruise. For our 15 I would love to go to Hawaii again or an all inclusive somewhere.

Congrats on 3 years, it is no small feat especially with what you and Andrew have been through. Being an avid reader for years I hope it’s okay for me to say Andrew is SOO much better than Billy ever was at least from an outside perspective. It seems like he really cares about your dreams and goals instead of just tolerates them. And he seems to be genuine kind and nice. I don’t know either of them personally but it’s nice to see you with someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

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Congrats and Happy Anniversary!
My guy and I have been together for 4 years and he is amazing. He teaches me not to sweat the small stuff and I have learned not to leave the laundry all over the condo haha. He is a keeper.

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Happy anniversary! Although my husband and I have been married 17 years and have 5 kids, he STILL has troubles getting the littles dressed. I’ve accepted that he’ll probably never learn! I think it’s incredibly sweet that Andrew has excel spreadsheets for your races. True love.

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Ooh do you have a post somewhere about how you two met? I would love to read that :)

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Here’s what I’ve learned: whether it’s in the oven or at a fire, the secret to the best s’mores is sticking the chocolate INSIDE the marshmallow before toasting. Result: chocolate melts with the marshmallow, no more navigating stiff chocolate with soft marshmallows. LIFE CHANGING! You’re welcome.

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Happy Anniversary!!
We celebrated #17 on 6/21. It was the BEST! We used my great grandfather’s car (1966 Buick Electra 225 = boat! :) for our wedding transportation. Someone in the family still owns the car. So we borrowed the car on our anniversary and drove to the restaurant across the street from where we had our reception. Another couple was having their reception as we were eating our dinner. So many memories! So much fun!

I’m grateful when you share when you were unprepared for a run. I go thru stages where I feel like I’m SO unprepared….uncharged phone/watch, missing hat, missing water bottle etc. I get so down on myself sometimes b/c I try to be ready for those early morning runs…but LIFE! LOL!

Smores in the oven! = this could be dangerous for the whole year rather than just summer!

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Happy anniversary! It’s hard to believe it’s been three years already.

I thought of you a couple of weeks ago when we were vacationing in Southern Utah and had frozen custard at Nielsen’s. We’re now in search of an equally delicious place to get frozen custard in Virginia, but it’s doubtful we’ll find any place as good! Do you have a Nielsen’s near where you live?

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happiest anniversary to you guys!! i just adore your family, how open and honest you and andrew are, and your entire love story :)

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