When Life Gets in the Way + Always There!

This was such a great post, Janae! I don’t think you hear very much in the running world about how much life stress can affect running performance and motivation, and your tips for dealing with it are so great. I had plans to run my second marathon this year (that race is literally this coming weekend), but between lots of crazy winter weather, lots of work stress, and dealing with depression in the first few months of 2019, I just didn’t have it in me and I dropped back to the half marathon – and for awhile I wasn’t even sure if that was going to happen. I threw any training plans out the window, focused on just getting out for a run when I could, and spent time on other hobbies that relieved stress and brought me joy. Eventually once the weather improved and work stress eased a bit, my running mojo started to come back (slowly but surely!).

Running has been an outlet for me at other stressful times in my life, but early this year I think I just needed a little break from heavy training. I’m running that half marathon this weekend (it will be my 10th half too!), and I have zero regrets that I’m not doing the full, because I know backing off of training was the right call. I’m just grateful that I’m finally excited about more fun running times ahead! I don’t have any other races scheduled other than this weekend – my desire to run that second marathon is still haunting me, but this might be my year to just enjoy running some shorter distances and have fun.

Oh goodness, she is not alone. A few years ago something came up in my life that I hadn’t seen coming at all. Maybe in hindsight, but at the time I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. There had been a Runner’s world running streak that went from Memorial Day to Fourth of July and I was a few weeks into it. So when I got this news and didn’t know what to do, I remembered I hadn’t run yet and went for a run. I spent every day after that starting my morning by strapping my son into the stroller with his breakfast and running for an hour or so. I started to go to al-anon meetings after that and one of the things they say is, “do the next right thing.” Like when you are so overwhelmed and everything feels like it needs addressed, you can’t solve all of the problems on your mind so just do the one thing in front of you like make the bed or get your kid his breakfast- or go for a run. I had so much anxiety, fear, sadness, that if I didn’t start the day by physically tiring myself out, I was almost paralyzed by my thoughts. I didn’t have any goals, kept running for almost a year on that streak and I’m 100% certain that it helped me get through that time. Conversely, after I had my daughter the same problem emerged and that time running felt so overwhelming that I was dreading it. Dreading it. And I couldn’t understand because it had always helped me in the past to feel more like myself. But I just hated it all of a sudden so I stopped. I knew getting some movement was important so I would force myself to do something most days, but not running. I started again a few months later and worked back into it.

I think every person and situation is different and there’s a balance to be found between doing what we know is good for us during the hard times, like getting fresh air and exercise, and forcing ourselves to be even more miserable by doing something we used to love that now brings us no joy. Why associate something you love with a horrible time in your life? I agree with what you said that running will always be there for us when we are ready to come back to it. Those hard seasons are overwhelming but telling yourself that it won’t last forever (because it won’t) and just getting through it one day at a time however you need to is the right thing. It always feels so lonely when things are hard. But there are always lots of people all over that are in the middle of their own struggle AND there are just as many (more!) that are on the other side. I sure hope she finds someone to talk with. The loneliness with life stress was always the worst for me. Good luck to you if you see this!! I hope you feel some peace soon :)

I So needed this post. It’s like you read my mind! Marital and financial issues have made a huge impact in my running workouts. I’ve decided to use my first marathon in September as a way to prove to myself that I can do hard things! I have to tell myself that every time I walk out the door to run. My sister and I are training together and that has been a huge motivator to keep with it. Thank you for your daily blog and tips/tricks. You’re an amazing mama and human.

What a fantastic post, Janae! Thank you!! None of us are alone in this, though it can certainly feel that way.

I have had life stressors (parent health issues) that have affected my training to the extent I down-graded and ultimately DNS a couple of big races. On the other hand, when an unexpected breakup happened, running is what got me through. I did two a day runs (never had before) and ran some of my fastest times, even winning my age group twice. That same period inspired me to train for and run my first marathon (2nd in my age group for that one) and it was probably the best thing I could have done for myself then (I’m not sure I recognized it at the time, though).

You are absolutely right that running will be there, in the way that you need it to be, when you need it to be! Thanks again for the tips as multiple life stressors have knocked me off course (pun intended) with my training and I’m working to get it back. Cheers!

This is super great advice! When your body is slowing down or whatever, it is often its way of telling you to be easy on yourself!

Injury has plagued me this year :( I had a stress fracture in July, torn tendons in Feb, and now I’m dealing with more torn tendons and possible chronic instability. However, I have to look at it like now is the perfect time to work on strength training and cycling.

The picture of Skye playing fetch with Beretta is adorable!

As one of your older readers, I can tell you that peri-menopause has been the worst thing to happen to my running! Hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and roller coaster emotions have all added up to a ton of stress and awful running. There have been days when I felt like I was running through quick sand. It’s been several years since I’ve done any races because I can’t seem to get a long enough string of quality training in. But I won’t give up completely. I had my annual physical this month and my health is great. My primary care doctor retired and his son took over. It was pretty awesome when he reviewed my bone density scan from last year and he said, “You have the bones of a teenager!” Thank you, running, for that! Slow motion is still motion. I’ve also added cycling and yoga to the mix and I think that has helped a lot. Cycling fills my need for speed and yoga just feels good!

I usually take at least one day a week off from training – typically Monday. On days when running feels awful I just downgrade to a walk and consider it active recovery.

Great advice on the life stress and running! I have “suffered” from that at various times and it can be so hard. But, I want to run forever, so I try and keep that perspective. I am a full time working (single parent) mom so running, is obviously not my full time job (even though it sometimes has that appeal, ha!). I hope your reader will be able to heed your advice, take a step back, breath, and give themself the TLC the mind and body needs!

Those berries look amazing! One way I’m getting my berry fix is by mixing them up with chia seeds to make a jam and adding it to oatmeal…. sooooo good!!!!
Stress hasn’t stopped me from running but pregnancy has so it was pretty easy to listen to Dr’s orders for the health and safety of the babe.
I am experiencing some lack of joy in the thought of racing right now so I’m just not racing. It is hard when my friends ask me to join them in a race, but in then end I have to do what’s best for me and right now that is cheering them on from the sidelines either in person or via social media or joining them on a training run. I’m finding more pleasure running for fun and creating my workouts week by week and sometimes day by day. I feel like I need the endorphins, to remain stress free/help me handle stress so I make sure to set aside time at least 5x/week for me to get my fix.
I don’t work 12 hrs shifts but I do work out of the home so I get my workout in before work so I can focus on the kiddos when I get home. It was hard at first but laying out clothes, nutrition etc the night before and not hitting snooze help me stay on track.
Lately I’ve been taking complete rest days 1-2 days/week on the weekend when everyone is home. Any more than that I get stiff and achy and any less than that I get worn down.
Have a great day!

When I was working shifts I would make sure to get in my workouts before work, otherwise I would be too tired when I was done work for the day.

I love your tips for running while going through tough stuff. So much of it can also apply to other workouts too. Sometimes workouts were just another thing on my to do list that were stressing me out, and other times I was so grateful for having a way to deal with stress. I think it really depends on the person and the situation.

Thanks for this post. My husband passed away suddenly last Fall at 38 years old. We have 2 young sons, 7 and 10 years old. This year has been terrible. I am still running but nothing like I used to. I only run about 3 days a week and slow but it still feels good to get out there. But, I do miss racing, running with friends etc. I hope that one day I will have the flexibility and desire to run like I used to. But, either way, this post was timely and needed today.
Congrats on all of your great races this Spring!

I can totally relate to the life-stress + running = rough. When I had my son and couldn’t run for months, getting back to running was one of my biggest desires…but between total lack of sleep and lingering back problems it was rough. You are totally right though, running waited for me and was there when I was ready and able to get back to it. Sometimes I deliberately don’t pick a race to train for and just focus on running whatever feels good and try to focus on that as my “me” time.

I needed this post today! I was berating myself to my husband this morning saying “I guess I just don’t work out anymore” because it’s been about a week since my last run. I suffered my second miscarriage on April 18th (my first loss was in January), and I think all of the stress of trying so hard to start our family caught up to me. I’m cleared to exercise and I know it would be good for me, but as you mentioned the idea of running right now makes me more tired than an actual workout used to! Running used to be the way I handled stress but I think this is a new level of hard for me right now. I know I’ll get back out there (maybe tomorrow!) but I needed this post today to understand it’s okay to just take it easy. Running will be there when I’m ready.

Also, my friend gave me a card that said, You can do hard things and that’s been my running motto thanks to you for so long, and I just felt it was such a great sign from God that all will be well. Thanks again!

I am an RN and work 12 hour shifts. On days that I work, I find it very challenging when I am training for a specific race/distance to balance training with work and family. When you’re already gone for 14 hours, you don’t really want to be away from your family any longer! Plus, you have to fit in eating, sleeping, and showering between shifts. You really need to have an understanding family who supports your goals, because it is truly a sacrifice that the entire family makes. When I’m not training for anything in particular, I simply don’t run on days that I work because it’s just too hard to fit in. During training, I find that the only thing I am able to consistently fit in on work days is a quick 30-minute workout. I do either a short, easy recovery run; or a quick tempo run; or a strength session. When I work AM shift (7a-7:30p) I get up and work out BEFORE my shift — yes, this is very early but that way I work out while my family sleeps rather than missing their last awake hour before bedtime when I get off. When I work PM shift (7p-7:30a) I work out AFTER my shift, before showering and going to bed. The family is already gone to work and school when I get home in the mornings, and I get to see them in the evening before I leave for work. Good luck to Andrew and congrats on the new job! When I was a new RN someone told me it would take me an entire year before I felt like I actually knew what I was doing, and I found that to be true — tell him to take it easy on himself, he has a lifetime of learning ahead of him and a few errors in judgement are inevitable.

I just left working 5p-5a (but not as a nurse). I usually tried to get in a short run before work and then on my off days I would run longer. It was a struggle for me because I live(d) in Florida so Im running in the heat and I prefer running at the end of the day (but I hate running in the dark). But in the winter, the runs before work were awesome!
But if Andrew only works 3/ week, he could use work days as weight training days and four days for running.