Hi! My name is Niki Martins and I know Janae or The Hungry Runner Girl through her older sister!  Sissy and I have been close friends since the eighth grade and well, let’s just say we are a lot older now, so we’ve been close friends for many, many, many years. ;)

I’ve actually known Janae since she was six years old ;) And I consider her to be my favorite little sister. ;)

Janaeniki

I’m grateful she has stayed in my life, and I am so proud of all that she has overcome and done in her life!

While I am not a runner, like Janae, I do like to run and stay active. I played sports in high school, mostly basketball and softball. I am 5’11”, so my height drew me to these sports.

However, I am not here to talk about exercise, the reason Janae asked me to write a guest post was, because of my experience with infertility. My husband and I have been married for fifteen years, and we have never conceived a child on our own. We found out that we were infertile about a year into our marriage and that we had less than a 1% chance of ever conceiving on our own.

The news was heart-wrenchingly devastating. I still remember the moment the doctor told us the news—I had never felt so alone or hopeless in my life.

You see, all I had ever wanted was to become a mom. I had had a job since I was sixteen, graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree, and served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While I enjoyed the friendships and the knowledge I gained through these wonderful experiences, I knew deep down, that the only job I ever really wanted was to be a mom. And quickly, too quickly, that hope, that dream, was taken from me.

It took me a few weeks to let the news set in, but once I accepted this new reality, we decided we didn’t want to wait to do something about it.

Janae may attest to this; my personality is one that isn’t afraid of a fight. I am good with conflict, and I love to challenge myself. So, when it came to infertility, I was no different.

And a fight it was.

While this doesn’t change the emotional hardship infertility takes, thankfully, so much has been changed and been advanced since we started our infertility treatments in 2004. Costs have come down a bit and you don’t have to travel far to find a fully functional infertility clinic. Also, I do know that some insurances pay for or cover some treatments now, so if you find yourself in the same situation, do some research for financial help.

Infertility is expensive.

Because of the severity of our infertility, both male and female factors, we knew early on that we would have to go straight to IVF (Invitro Fertilization). And because of the severity of the male factor, we had to travel to California to receive even more specialized treatment called ICSI or Intracytoplasmic sperm injection. This is where they literally inject the sperm into the egg to cause fertilization. They now have the ability to do this in Utah, where I live, and I know it is more common throughout the world.

In the end, we did IVF five different times. Our first two tries were negative, and these were some of my darkest days in our infertility journey. I had done everything, everything to get pregnant. Everything, but the progesterone shot and acupuncture, as we didn’t know about these resources.

I had to take a break after our second negative result. I remember crawling into a fetal position on the floor when the nurse had called to tell me, once again, I wasn’t pregnant. I cried for three days. However, after about three months, and knowing we had some viable frozen embryos, we decided to try again. This time, after my asking, we did the progesterone shot, and I also did acupuncture (and in my opinion, this was a game changer).

Then, after waiting those two incredibly long weeks, our doctor called us with the amazing news. We were pregnant! It felt surreal and amazing!

I continued acupuncture, as it is also shown to help with miscarriage, and I continued the progesterone shot for 10 more weeks. Then, May of the following year, our beautiful Hannah was born!

After Hannah turned 18 months, we tried IVF again, but our frozen embryos weren’t as viable, so we got another negative result. Once again, I was devastated, as we knew there was another little person that needed to come to our family.

I, like Janae, am a religious person. I turn to God for help every day. So, when we felt like we were stuck with what to do next, my husband and I prayed. We prayed many times, for many days for help and for council. Soon, we both felt that adoption was our next step. I felt good going into adoption, knowing that this was what we needed to do, but I was also anxious for the unknown. We ended up having two failed adoptions before we received our precious Lia.

Once Lia was two, we once again felt we needed to try IVF one more time. This time we had two healthy, viable embryos to work with and we were able to have our sweet Eva.

Since then, we adopted our amazing son, Jared, and then after a bitter and difficult failed adoption, we were blessed with our beautiful Rubi just this past year.

Getting our children here was a battle each and every time. We had to work and pray and wait patiently for each child to find us. I had many days where I thought how unfair life was, knowing there were women and girls who were pregnant, but didn’t want to be. I was hurt in knowing that children were being abused by their moms and dads, and yet, knowing I would never do such a thing, was denied the blessing of receiving my own child.

I had to overcome those feelings fast.

As, it is a quick way to darkness and hopelessness. I knew the children that were supposed to be mine would find their way to me. I also knew that if no child ever came into my arms, I would still have a beautiful family with just me and my husband.

Thankfully, we are now at the end of our infertility journey, as our family is complete. But my infertility scars are still there. I still have moments of anger or hurt, especially as I watch two of my adopted children, born with special needs, struggle each day. In the end, though, we feel extremely blessed and thankful for all of our children, no matter how they came to us or what their needs are.

Family 5

Infertility is a difficult and frightening road. There are so many raw emotions, unknowns, and heartbreaks along the way. It is also really expensive in both medical treatments and in the adoption process. Every story is different, but please know that you are not alone. You have a sisterhood of women who have traveled this devastating path before you. There are many of us who know your broken heart and we are cheering and praying for you.

Infertility is truly a disease, it is no one’s fault. Stay strong, your story is worth living. No matter if you end up with a dozen children or none, know that you are not alone or unworthy of motherhood.

Much love to you all,

Niki

I would love to hear your story or if any of you can relate with our experience!

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40 comments

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My husband and I have been married almost 11 years and have never conceived naturally. I was diagnosed at age 23 with premature ovarian insufficiency (premature menopause) and after much prayer and guidance, we tried embryo adoption. Our first attempt was negative and our second try we miscarried at 10 weeks. It was such a devastating time for me. We went on to do foster care and adopted a sibling set a year ago. Infertility is still hard. It still hurts, even though we have 2 children now. It doesn’t make it easier, just different. We are thankful God allowed us to be their parents and we are the lucky ones. Much love to you as I know the traumatic feelings this disease causes us.

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I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Having the hopes of a baby, especially after going through IVF, then losing that baby is the most heartbreaking feeling. We never had a miscarriage, so that is one part of the journey I never had to endure.
My oldest is adopted from foster care, so I also know some of the difficulties that can happen there as well. My heart goes out to you <3
With love, Niki

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Krystal,
I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Having the hopes of a baby, especially after going through IVF, then losing that baby is the most heartbreaking feeling. We never had a miscarriage, so that is one part of the journey I never had to endure.
My oldest is adopted from foster care, so I also know some of the difficulties that can happen there as well. My heart goes out to you <3
With love, Niki

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Niki, thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. You are a beautiful person inside and out for reaching this outcome, and I hope you and your family feel nothing but love from this corner of the internet!

http://www.areweadultsyet.com

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Laura,
Thank you so much. I feel it is important to share our stories with each other, I know it has only helped me in my life.

-Niki

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Thank you for sharing your story! After three rounds of IVF, our daughter was born nearly two years ago. I am just now starting to maybe, sort of, possibly be ready to try it again to (hopefully) give our daughter a sibling. We don’t have any frozen embryos, so the thought of starting from scratch is quite daunting. And while we are lucky to live in a state that mandates infertility coverage by health insurance providers (MA), we only have two more rounds covered by insurance before we reach our lifetime max. And the cost really is prohibitive for us to go without insurance. So much stress over the unknown! But I am so so thankful for our healthy daughter, every day.

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Jessie,

I completely understand that daunting feeling. When we ran out of frozen embryos (we had 12 and only one took) we had to start over again and ended up with only two embryos total :O Thankfully, we did get our third daughter. It really is such a hard process to go through, both financially and emotionally. I pray that everything will work out for you this next time. <3

Lots of love to you.
-Niki

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My husband and I went through 4 rounds of IVF due to my premature ovarian failure (I was 32 when diagnosed, but my body was acting like I was 45). Our one viable embryo ended in a miscarriage, so we were faced with two options that we could both live with. We could either look into donor eggs or we could live child free. After a terrible 2017 filled with disappointment and mental health struggles, we ended up finding a great egg donor and we just welcomed our sweet baby girl 12 weeks ago today. To anyone out there struggling with infertility- please remember that none of this is your fault and that there will be better days ahead. Lean on one another because ultimately it will just be you and your partner who truest understand what you’re going through. Try to ignore all the stupid advice (and believe me that you’ll get lots of stupid advice). Families come in all shapes and sizes and happen on their own time. What is right for another family might not work for yours, and that’s totally fine. Don’t feel bad about skipping baby showers- everyone will understand (and will be ecstatic for you when it’s your turn!) Lastly, whatever you do, do not neglect your mental health. Infertility can really mess with with your mind and it’s important to reach out to others or seek professional help before your get too down on yourself. Many infertility clinics have support groups if you don’t know of anyone who is going through something similar.

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Leslie,

Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your great advice about being true to yourself and what you need at the time.
I am so happy you have your baby girl, after all that you went through <3
I can relate to so much of what you shared, even the lame advice part :P It was always amazing what people said to us :O

Thanks,
Niki

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I didn’t meet my husband until I was 35. I was diagnosed with PCOS and didn’t ovulate. Tried with our OB for several months and then finally saw a fertility specialist. Months of drugs and testing and finally I was ovulating. Then had to have a polyp removed. It was cancerous so had to stop treatment and begin hormone therapy. Spontaneously ovulated and got pregnant with our first daughter. Lost 180 pounds after she was born, started running, and went back to specialist to try to have baby 2. Got pregnant within 3 months and had baby girl 2 at age 40. After she was born my cycle was not really normal. Went in because I thought I might be going into ovarian failure. All tests were fine so doc gave me meds to get a cycle. It never came and I was so sick. Hubby said to take a test and BAM it was positive. Doctor was a little in shock as were we. Baby girl 2 just turned 1 and I am about 75 days away from delivery of baby girl 3. We are the lucky ones. Our insurance didnt cover fertility but alot of my stuff was covered since I had pcos. My fertility doc also has a monthly plan for testing and monitoring so we were out little comparatively.

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Amanda,

So happy that you were able to get pregnant again! It really is a crazy journey! Best wishes with the new baby!

Lots of love,
Niki

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Thank you for sharing your story, Niki! I have also battled infertility over the last three years. I got married a little later in life, 32, waited a year to start trying for a baby, got pregnant very quickly, but had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. After the devastating loss, I was never able to get pregnant again. Every month of trying, peeing on ovulation tests and then a pregnancy test (or few) was sooooooo disappointing. I tried to stay hopeful, but I really dreaded the monthly bad news. My cycles were inconsistent, went to my OB to be put on ovulation medication. I was beginning to ovulate again, so we tried two rounds of IUI (intrauterine insimination). Luckily, our close friends had started the IVF process, with a wonderful and caring doctor they recommended us to. This was about a year ago, exactly. We are so blessed that the first cycle worked, and we’re expecting our little girl in March! She is worth every shot, for sure. I just kept visualizing and believing she was a tough little embryo, from the start. Infertility is such a tough journey, and it helps so much to have people to share with, who can understand the pain and the struggles.

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Jenny,

Yay! It truly is worth every single shot! I’m so happy it finally worked for you <3 I am sorry, though, that it was so hard to get her here. Finding a good and caring doctor is key, it makes a huge difference with the whole process. <3 Thank you for sharing your story with me. I agree, it is so helpful to be able to know that we are not alone. <3

Lots of love,
Niki

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I have been married for about 4.5 years and have been trying to conceive for a little less than two. We have suffered from some male infertility factors and in two weeks I am scheduled to undergo a hysteroscopy to correct a septum in my uterus (it’s currently heart shaped). Lately it’s been getting harder and harder to deal with emotionally as I watch so many close friends get pregnant and deal with things like feeling behind in my career because I’ve been so focused on getting pregnant and moving onto the next chapter of my life where I become a mom (a calling I have always felt in my heart). While I have no infertility coverage, I do feel lucky to have the means and access to infertility doctors although I wish the money could go towards something else.

Thank you for sharing Niki and Janae.

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Sam,

You are truly in the trenches of infertility right now. :( It is okay to feel all that you are feeling. I will admit, I still feel a little jealous of my friends and family members who get pregnant without effort. While I am happy for them, I am sad for myself. The desire to have a child is an all-consuming one, and I understand how disruptive it can be to every other part of your life. All I can say is, give yourself permission to cry, to feel, and to be angry…just try not to live there, as it can consume you :( Do self care and take time to do things you love to do. I wish you all the best and pray that your dream of becoming a mom will come true soon. So many hugs and lots love to you!
-Niki

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I conceived my first biological child after trying for a year (I was already raising my daughter from my husband’s first marriage). When the kids were 8 and 3 we started trying again. After 8 months we conceived but found out it was an ectopic pregnancy. During ensuing surgery I was diagnosed with endometriosis. The doctor cleaned out the scar tissue and I was told I should have no problem conceiving. 4 years later we had given up and decided to save money toward adoption when we found out we were pregnant with our son. He was born 7 1/2 years after his sister. We decided to start trying again right away. As each year went by we started to lose hope. During this time my husband took a new job that paid $15000 towards infertility (unheard of at the time). We began that journey, undergoing a surgery to remove endometrial adhesions as well as the fallopian tube that was damaged from the ectopic pregnancy. Several cycles of IUI were unsuccessful so we moved on to IVF. The day we found out that failed was so hard. The next few years we kept trying and when my son was 7 we were pregnant again. That ended in a very early miscarriage. Thankfully I was blessed with peace knowing that all was well and our family was complete. I’ve since become a labor and delivery nurse and get to help other mommas bring their little ones into the world.

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Rene,

Endometriosis is so hard :( I had that as well and ended up having to have a full hysterectomy two years ago, I was 37. I am so sorry for your failed IVF. It truly is heartbreaking to hear them say that is didn’t work and all of the emotional and physical effort was for nothing :( Then for you to lose another through miscarriage, I’m so very sorry. :( It really is such a hard path to walk. I commend you for your strength! And what a blessing you must be to all those who you help now. They are lucky to have you. <3

Lots of love,
Niki

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Thanks for sharing.

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Henry,

You are very welcome. :)

Niki

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Niki-
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It truly is a story of how God’s plan is perfect, even when we can’t see it. My husband and I have struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. We never did IVF because, for reasons unknown to us at the time, we really did not feel led to go that route even though Dr’s recommended it. I also was very hesitant to dive into adoption (again, I had no idea why at the time). We came across embryo adoption and very shortly after deciding to look into it further, we were approached by a distant family friend who had 8 embryos that they weren’t going use. Long story short, I am now 33 weeks pregnant with our little girl. She is exactly the baby that God had intended for us all along and I wouldn’t change one little thing about our story!
I firmly believe that infertility is something that needs to be talked about more. Thank you !

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Rachel,

I am so happy for you! We each have our own path to follow :) God bless and enjoy that precious little one!

Lots of love,
Niki

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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been married for almost 8 years and just recently we have started to try for a family, without luck now for 6 months. In fact, I have to call my doctor today to make an appointment to look into reasons why it hasn’t happened yet. I am 33 and he is 40 so we are getting up there in age, which definitely doesn’t help.
It’s so funny, as a teenager it is drilled into you how quickly you could slip up and get pregnant but when you are ready to try you realize it is not quite as simple as that! It can be frustrating and upsetting and not as fun as you think it might be ;)
Fingers crossed it is just taking a little while and there isn’t something wrong! Thank you for telling your story – I think more women should be open with their struggles and having an honest dialogue helps others have realistic expectations for themselves.

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Krista,

I do hope that you will be able to get pregnant without infertility treatments! It is true about the teenager thing, and then you think once you start trying it will be easy, but for too many of us, it isn’t. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope that you can bring that sweet baby into your life soon. Hugs!

Lots of love,
Niki

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Thank you so much for sharing your story. As someone in the midst of infertility (2 years in), it is always wonderful to see stories from others who have gone through this. It can be a lonely journey.

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Alex,

You are welcome. I know how lonely it truly is. My heart and prayers are with you.

Lots of love,
Niki

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Thank you so much for sharing your story, Niki! And thank you Janae for including this subject!
All three of my babies were conceived via IVF after years of trying. It was obviously a very hard time for us and I felt very lonely. It seemed like every where I looked, friends, acquaintances and strangers were pregnant, seemingly so easily. Just like when you are single, it feels like everyone is happy and in love. I don’t think I fully understood at the time that with infertility you go through stages of grief: grief for the child that you want that doesn’t come.
I feel extremely blessed with the 3 that I have, but I still am sad that if I ever wanted 1 more, we would have to go through herculean attempts to conceive. But that’s life and it is very comforting to know that there are so many of us out there. I was also able to recently provide support to my sister-in-law who when through the same thing, though is now thankfully pregnant with a baby girl!
Thank you again for the post!
Mary

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Mary,

I am so happy that you have your three as well, but I also understand the dilemma of wanting more, but not knowing if you can go through another round of IVF :( It truly is a hard journey to walk, even when we already have children. Each child that we fought to have or adopt, was wanted, was hoped for, was important, and each negative result or failed adoption hurt just as much as the first. You are right, that’s life, and I am grateful for the amazing women I have met along this path, because, truly, you are all some of the strongest women I have ever met.

Lots of love,
Niki

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I needed this so badly in this stage of my life. My husband and I are fighting to get pregnant with our second baby after dealing with infertility for over a year and a half. I just got the courage to ask to be referred to a fertility specialist yesterday. God willing, we can give our daughter a sibling 💜 Thank you for sharing your story and giving other women struggling with infertility hope!

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Tanna,

Secondary infertility is a real and difficult thing. I have many friends who have dealt with this, and they were just as discouraged as you. Going to a fertility specialist is a wonderful next step, and I pray you will be able to add another little one to your family soon!

Lots of love,
Niki

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I am adoptive mom of two beautiful girls (ages 9, 12). Adoption was the right choice for us. Our girls are so loved and adored by so many people (extended family, teachers, coaches, friends). They are truly special kids. They changed everything for the better.
We didn’t spend too much time on infertility as we knew adoption was in our plans. I couldn’t imagine life without my girls.

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Christine,

Adoption is an amazing gift. We are so grateful for the three we have through adoption. They are our children, and I know they needed to be with us. Adoption can truly be a wonderful way to create or build a family. <3

Lots of love,
Niki

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Thank you for sharing your story! My children are grown now but I went through a couple of adoption fails. It’s hard to explain but they are so very painful. We did end up with a wonderful baby boy that came into our lives in a very serendipitous way. ❤️ Two years later I surprisingly became pregnant. I easily had my next two. Even though my youngest is 23, I still feel that pain of infertility drugs, hope and heartbreak. No one is alone, and support can come from so very many.

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Kathee,

Failed adoptions are harder than most people may realize. And you are right, they are hard to explain. I think it’s that hope, that image of this baby, that you are already in love with and then like that, they are gone. It is a loss, and it hurts deeply. I am so happy that you found your son, and that you were able to have more children after him, what a blessing!

I honestly don’t think the scars will ever fully heal, but I think they keep me grateful, grateful for those precious souls that have come into my life. :)

Lots of love,
Niki

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Dear Niki, thank you for reaching out to us. I loved reading your post, it shows so muh of your heart.
My husband and I had two IVF procedures so far, both negative. I imagined to conceive the first month and now after over a year I’m still at the beginning. It’s the male factor plus my age 38 and in our country Slovenia we have 6 free procedures for the first child and I think 4 for the second child, all by the end of 42nd year of age. After that you pay and still have the chance. I lost so much nerves as I had hope each time, I was sure we’d conceive naturally or with the procedure. It’s frustrating. I feel as if the child doesn’t want me, and this is frustrating. I’d like to be a mum to as many children I still can have. If I’m not ready now, then when would I be?! But yeah, no worries, still 4 procedures to go and I’ll see what next time brings. I admire you a lot for adopting the children and taking so much care for them, you went through a hard yourney. And your heart seems to be smiling. Janae must be happy to have such an amazing friend like you!!

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Damjana,

I hope that this next treatment will work for you! Even though the cost is covered, the pain of it not working is just as hard. Thank you for your kind words, I pray that you will be able to have your baby soon!

Lots of love,
Niki

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As one of the few men who sometimes post here I thought I would share my view.

My wife and I were married in 1997 at the age 26 and 23 respectively. We waited, perhaps too long, until I was 34 and she was 31 before we started trying for children. Our firstborn daughter joined us, quite easily, in 2006 but we had a our first of many miscarriages not long after. Unfortunately, I was deployed to Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2008. This took a huge toll on my wife and she got quite sick trying to care for our toddler and juggle everything else asked of her in my absence.

Upon my return we both recognized that her health problems had to be resolved before trying for more children. This took several years. Finally, we got things under control and we felt comfortable trying again. But she had three more miscarriages, two of them in 2011. We were wrecked.

At one point, my wife’s much older step brother had a daughter who had an unplanned pregnancy. We felt we could take care of this child and even went so far as to offer to (open) adopt before the child was born. He was gracious and said that his daughter had reconciled herself to keeping the baby girl.

In 2012, we started in with fertility specialists. We met with 3 different specialists only one of which made us comfortable and really reassured us. Our insurance would only cover 1 iteration of Intrauterine insemination (IUI) which is the cheapest and least likely of success methodology. [Note: Disappointingly, the insurance would not pay for the SAME drugs and SAME procedures if we wanted to cover the difference for IVF or ICSI, thanks insurance : ( ]. My wife braved the daily shots and we finally came to the point of insemination. The doctors office called us and said “you have 6 viable eggs and it goes against our protocol to go forward, but we’ll let you make the decision.” This was shocking. If it went against protocol why would he let us do it? But we quickly realized that this wasn’t going to work for us.

We joked a little about watching reality shows where women on fertility drugs are surprised when they have multiples. We always thought those people were dumb (sorry), and now we might become one of those people?! Didn’t sound promising.

Worse still, we knew we weren’t going to be able to cope if we had to ‘selectively reduce’ the number of embryos in the future. Finally, we knew in our hearts that my wife, with her medical history, couldn’t safely carry the burden of multiples. It was ridiculous as we had to make the most important decision of our lives in a few short moments before I had to go to a critical (unrelated) appointment. We chose to not go through with our one ‘freebie’ procedure. Anything else we did in the future would be out of pocket and expensive.

The Dr. told us to take a break come off the meds for a few months and if we chose to start over we could do so. Fortunately, God intervened. A few months after coming off the meds my wife had an epiphany. She felt like she was going to ovulate. She wondered, can I do the IUI without having done the drugs? She called the doctor’s office and had to explain about 5 times what she was suggesting before they really got it. They suggested she come in for an ultrasound and they found 2 viable eggs. They waited a few more days for more maturation and then we did the IUI process over two days and were surprised with our success. Our second daughter was born in 2014, with an almost 8 year gap between the two. We were eternally grateful, but there was a surprise yet in store.

My wife had always had a vision of a little boy standing at the top of the stairs giggling. We actually moved to a different home in the interim – a three bedroom – so her vision would have to involve a different staircase. I thought we were done and I convinced her as much logically. But I knew she while she might logically agreed with me, she was not ready emotionally to give up on her vision. So I delayed a vasectomy. You can imagine where this goes. Our son came along, au naturale, in 2015. And we are very done and very happy.

The one tragedy in all this is we learned how overwhelmingly and excessively difficult (and expensive) it is to adopt. So many children out there needing good homes but the odds seem stacked against those parents seeking to adopt. One of my fellow military officers joked that he had to use his hazardous duty pay from 2 Iraq deployments to pay for the 2 children they adopted from Russia. Except he wasn’t really joking! There has to be a better way.

Good for Niki that she got to have AND adopt children, the world is a better place for your kindness, courage and bravery.

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Wow, that was a long post. Here’s a fun video you may enjoy: When our children learned they were getting a sibling.

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Clark,

I am always grateful when the men talk about this topic, as I feel they don’t get enough of a voice. How wonderful that you had success along the way, but I understand (as I had many many health issues as well) how difficult some of the decisions and the worry can be. I am so happy that your son found you as well :) I had known all along that I had a son, but it took five IVF trials, two failed adoptions, three beautiful daughters, and then one amazing birth-mom. I knew from the moment we received the email from the agency, that he was our son. He truly is a gift!

Thank you for sharing your story with me and with others. I hope it inspires more men to be involved and speak up for infertility, as I know just adding more voices will hopefully help with the cost and the sometimes harsh stigma that comes with it.

The video was wonderful! Our last daughter, we adopted, was a surprise and our kids were elated as well <3

Lots of love,
Niki

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I am thankful you were blessed with both IVF and adopted children. I am familiar with this journey. It took us 9 years of infertility treatments. The hardest part was there was no real ‘problem’. We both kept testing fine, but things just weren’t working. In the end, on the 3rd IVF attempt, on Super Bowl Sunday in Chicago, traffic was horrendous, all the Dr’s and nurses wearing theirs Bears jersey’s over their scrubs….it was a success. We still only have 1 child, and she was worth all the hard ache to get there.

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I am blessed to have my 3 boys. The first one came fairly quickly but it took 20 months of trying and a miscarriage before we got the 2nd one. Then two more miscarriages in 3 years followed by almost 9 years of not getting pregnant at all before a wonderful surprise 3rd, long after we had given up hope and moved on. I know I have the kids I should have and we are happy with our blessings…but the anguish of trying and loss stills hints in the background. I will say that those struggles have given me so much compassion and love and understanding for others struggling with fertility, including my sister and sister-in-law.

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