Talking about figuring out our roles in our marriage + expectations and other stuff.

I thought it would be interesting to talk today about our roles and to hear from you about your roles currently and how they have changed!

It seemed that just as Andrew and I were really figuring out our different roles in marriage/at home/with the kids… things have been changed again with the addition of Skye!  There have been a lot of changes in roles over the last decade for the both of us (especially in terms of single parenting… not going to lie, that was hard.  I felt like I had to wear all of the hats for every role possible during that time).   It is really nice to have a best friend where we can work together fulfilling all of the different roles.  Our biggest role (husband/wife) means that we make sure to spend some time each day just the two of us talking, relaxing, watching a show together or having a date.

At the moment (because things change so quickly), we have a few of our different roles figured out and we help each other out on most of them too:   A few of my roles currently ——> food source for Skye;), Skye cuddling, working, laundry (because Andrew hates it and I don’t), keeping the kitchen clean/dishes (because I love doing that), breakfast/morning routine with the kids, Skye from 2am-8am.   A few of Andrew’s roles right now—> bills, taxes (which is out of control crazy as a blogger… my mom was very happy to pass this torch to Andrew when we got married), SCHOOL (which he is rocking), Skye cuddling, dinner cooking and more of the night responsibilities (that is when I do a lot of my work) with the kids, bathrooms and Skye from 9pm-2am (I have a bottle ready for him if she wakes up).   As far as kids go throughout the day… some weeks I don’t have a lot to do for work and Andrew has a crazy amount of school (or vice versa) and so we play it by ear with what each of us is doing for them (and the time we are all together doing stuff is obviously our favorite)!  We both spend time throughout the week picking up/cleaning.  So that is how we split up a few of the responsibilities around here and I would love to hear how you do it at your house!

A little bit from Andrew about roles:

It seems about the only constant in life is change.  Janae and I were talking yesterday about roles and how dynamic they can be.  If I were to look back at my life 10 or even 20 years ago I would of never of dreamt of the all the changes that I would experience in such little time.

I look to my parents and the family that I grew up with.  I will always look up to my parents through the tough things they went through.  I remember that when I was in 6th grade my parents had to change roles.  Some changes at my dad’s work didn’t jive with what was going on and he resigned from his position and just like that my mom went back to work as a nurse.  Sparing all the minor details, my parent’s roles drastically shifted overnight.  My mom became the “breadwinner” and my dad was at home.  I was young at the time and didn’t think much about it rather than it was just change that I had to accept.

Now looking back at the past 5 years….  we could both write a book of what has happened.  Divorce, marriage, blending a family, career change, school, house remodel, baby… and so much more.  I remember living in my house with just me and Knox and some of the things I did—> like the extra bedroom by the washer and dryer was where I put all of my clean clothes that I never wanted to put away.   Why not skip a step and keep them close to the washer where they are going to end up again anyways.  Okay… I know that’s trivial, but when you are on your own, kids or not, you have your routines and ways of doing things.  When Janae and I got married we both were working and loved to be busy with similar and very different things.  We kept things like this for a while, but we needed to change some things, especially when I got into nursing school (something I told Janae on our first date…I was changing careers, I’m surprised that didn’t scare her off).

I remember it took quite some time for me to realize that I was going to quit my job and go full-time stay at home dad and school full-time, to make sure I could help take care of the kids with Janae so she could keep working while I was going to school!  It has been an amazing experience to step into a different role.  Is it always easy, hahah no way but so WORTH it.

So why talk about roles?  To be honest…. we don’t know, we wanted to talk about something different today.  As we have talked about roles together we feel like it isn’t concrete how it might have been in the past.  What we envisioned isn’t exactly how they turned out, but it is our life and to be completely honest, I feel like we enjoy the little things we wouldn’t have, had we not gone down the same path we have already.  We evolve constantly and it’s quite the adventure.  Do you think your roles have changed?  How?  Why?

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Brooke told me yesterday morning that she is officially taking over the task of brushing her hair in the mornings.  She is turning out to be quite independent these days.

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I hit my longest postpartum run yesterday!  5 MILES!!  My average pace was a 9:02 and I included a few hills while I was out too!

I was also excited because I found the perfect hill for hill repeats.  It’s on a road where there is plenty of room on the side (so I don’t have to worry about sidewalk cracks) to run, it is about .25 miles long and it is steep but not too steep (ps it isn’t the hill below but I’ll take a picture of it another day).  It is also the perfect distance from my house where I can run there for my warm-up, do a bunch of hill repeats and then run home for my cool-down.

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Those are shorts.  In January.  It felt so good.

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I came across the perfect resting spot in case I ever need to sit down and take a breather during one of my runs.   I can’t say I’ve ever seen a tree chair before.

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When I got home from my run, this is the face that Skye gave me.   She wasn’t super thrilled with me leaving and going out and having fun without her.

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Eventually she forgave me… kind of.

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I had sweet potato enchilada leftovers for lunch (you know how I feel about leftovers… they are my favorite because it means I can eat within 90 seconds of going out to the kitchen for food).  I was still hungry after lunch so I got out the Reese’s Puffs.  This stuff is too good.

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Right before dinner I got my eyebrows waxed and some fake eyelashes put on:)  I do this once every 4-5 weeks or so and it’s my favorite.  Gotta love the redness that accompanies waxing and call me crazy but I kind of like the feeling of getting my eyebrows waxed.

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Skye is already prepping for Easter.

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And Kodiakcakes with my brother’s homemade jam for dinner because it was fast, easy, delicious and something we all love.

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Beretta’s bday was yesterday.  She is now six years old.  The kids sang happy birthday to her, Andrew took her on a run to her favorite place and she had a few extra dog bones at dinner time:)

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A small sample of Brooke’s Greatest Showman Dancing (this happens daily so I thought I would share a clip).

Also, I was looking up random things about the Winter Olympics and I saw these average speeds for the different sports.  Can you imagine going 93 MPH on a bobsled?!

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WHO HAS A FEBRUARY BIRTHDAY!?  Tell me what day!

-ME ME ME ME ME. 2/13 (anybody else?)

What about in your life… how have your roles changed over time?  What are some of your roles right now?  

If you could participate in any of the sports at the Winter Olympics… which would you choose?

Eyebrows—>  do you wax, pluck, do nothing because you have great eyebrows already?

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75 comments

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I think in regards to marriage, we all go through the various struggles and role challenges. I don’t have children but my husband and I’s roles change frequently throughout the last few years.

I’m kind of a diva about my eyebrows and only pluck them. I’m somewhat petrified of someone taking out entire brow or something Lol.

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I can’t comment on the marriage thing, but ever since Mitch and I got engaged (yeah we got engaged in October yahoo!) we have been having a lot of talks about what our roles will be, etc. We are going to steal your money-idea of taking out cash and giving it to each person to spend on their own stuff. Brilliant, as I am obsessed with nail polish and running shoes and he needs it for his running stuff and Dragon Ball Z game…don’t ask.

Great topic today! Though I know it is a running blog, Mario Fraioli had a great tweet yesterday about life balance and running: “Training is more than long runs, track workouts, strength sessions, and weekly mileage. It’s what you eat and how you rest. It’s how you treat yourself and those around you. It’s the attitude you hold. It’s the company you keep. In other words, training is how you live your life.”
So like, our whole lives play into it because it is a lifestyle, so I love when you share about everyday things because it shows how you put in time to go to church, focus on service, and live a healthy and balanced lifestyle = all tenants of success and champions.

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Okay, I LOVE that quote so so much… thank you Kaytlin for sharing it and for what you said. Thank you and I hope you have an amazing day!

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February bday here!
Do you schedule your lashes to be done when you know you’re not going to be running the next morning? I make my appt around my running schedule which is kinda funny!

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No, but I totally should haha. You are smart…. they probably last longer by taking the next day off. I do everything to avoid a drop of water toughing them though:) I hope you have an amazing birthday month Dee!

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The roles between my husband and I definitely changed throughout our relationship. When we were just dating we did everything financially independent. He would pay for dinner dates but outside that I had my own car, house and cat lol then we got a dog together and I moved out of the house I was renting. Then I quit my job (I was working night shift) and went back to school full time! (This was 6 months into our relationship) he helped out a ton, I still paid for groceries but he paid for so much more. About another 6 months later I got a great job opportunity so I took that and we went back to splitting things. He got me a dog and I have always taken care of that financially, but he takes care of the house, electric, cars etc. more recently I got another new job (and we’re married now) and I’m making more than him. However, I have more college loans. So we still try to keep things fair and I have my own spending money, he had his, we have a joint account we both contribute to and then I take care of the debts and he works on saving money/ paying basic bills. We’ve never fought about finances so I’d say it’s working out well.

As for other roles, it was a huge shock when you start living with someone and you realize if you don’t do the dishes/pickup house/vacuum no one else will 😂😂 so I do most of that however the hubs likes to do laundry?? So strange lol he does that and obviously fixes everything that breaks because he’s a very handy man.

I never thought I could see myself following traditional gender roles but it really does just work out easier for us.

Neat post Janae I like the switch up! Hope you’re feeling great now you’re back to running!!!!

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loved hearing about your roles;) Great post;) Skye stole the show for me with those outfits and cuteness! Have a fabulous day Janae!

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She always steals the show with her cuteness:) Thanks Amanda and I hope your Thursday is a great one!

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That tree chair is so awesome!

It’s definitely interesting to hear both of your perspectives on your roles and working together in your family. For me, I’ve always had to have the role of being independent and doing everything for myself. Maybe someday that will change, but I also have to live as if I’ll be single for the rest of my life and will need to be able to do everything on my own. While I hope to love someone and be loved back and get to share different roles with him, it might not happen. It’s pretty tough sometimes, but that’s why it’s also important to surround yourself with a great community of people who are there for you because life isn’t meant to be spent all alone.

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My brother’s birthday is also in February! You remind me I should start thinking about a gift for him hahaha.

My husband and I don’t really have defined roles – both of us pitch in to do things as needed. We find it varies who has time to pull more weight around the condo because of business travel, etc since we both work full time (in the same industry, heh).

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One thing that I am super happy with in regard to roles is cooking and grocery shopping. My husband and I take turns making a meal plan for the week/store list/grocery shopping/cooking. We alternate every other week. THIS IS AWESOME. I don’t hate cooking necessarily, but the meal planning and grocery shopping are not my favorite!!!!

We each do our own laundry. I do our youngest daughter’s with mine; he does our oldest daughter’s with his. Not sure how this happened, but it works :)

He reads to our oldest daughter at night (she’s 12—NEVER stop reading to your kiddos! I think we’ll read to our kiddos forever :) , and we take turns reading to our youngest daughter.

I’m still jealous of your gorgeous eyelashes. I decided in the end that extensions were too much work for me. lol I’ve been using the Rodan and Fields LashBoost, and while it isn’t quite as impressive as extensions, I’m happy with it :)

Have the best day!!!!

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I use the Lash Boost too – I like it, but it seems like it makes my lashes kinda of unevenly long & no added fullness. I sweat WAY too much when I workout (and I swim too!) to be able to get extensions!

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I totally know what you mean!!! I settle for the length over fullness thing bc it’s as close as I’ll get to extensions. I dream about extensions even though I know they are so not practical for me :)

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My boyfriend and I just moved in together and I think we need to have the roles talk. Right now, it’s shifted from me living alone and doing ALL the chores to him wanting to share in the chores but not knowing which ones to take on so it’s usually me just doing them all like I have always done. We need to divide and conquer I guess. haha.

Winter Olympics. I would CHOOSE to do bobsled, because Cool Runnings! haha. However, I have tried curling. From watching it, you would never think it would be such a challenge, but it is seriously SO hard to do. Plus I fell a lot. It was fun though, but way harder than it looks.

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The roles between my fiance and I change as well. We both have jobs where sometimes we will be really busy and sometimes our hours are pretty normal and I’m also in school at night. I think we are pretty good at naturally picking up the slack when the other person has a lot going on. So right now, work and school are very busy for me, so my fiance will do more of the big cleaning type stuff around the house. We usually cook dinner together a few nights a week and then a few nights a week (usually when I have class), we do our own thing. I’m interested to see how our roles change when we are married, buy a house, and especially have kids. My fiance loves kids and is super excited to start having babies- so I know he’ll be an awesome and really involved Dad (like Andrew!). I think the most important thing is to just have that partnership where you’re willing to work together and know that things are going to change over time. Sounds like you two have that covered!

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OMG such a God thing that this is your post today. Yesterday I meant to comment asking your advice on the first year of marriage, specifically roles/chores around the house. I am getting married in October and we don’t live together so there will be lots of change.

Also, February birthdays unite – February 7th :)

Thanks for sharing today!

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It is so great you are talking about roles in relationships – this is a conversation I have with my friends because a lot of us ended up in roles we wouldn’t have expected!
About 7 years ago my husband and I picked up and moved to Seattle (we live on Canada – close to Toronto) for his career. He was finishing up his training to be a surgeon specializing in cancer patients and was going to be doing a full time masters and a fellowship concurrently so for 2 years he was working from about 4:30 am – 11 pm. I didn’t have a work visa while we were there so all of a sudden I was a full time house wife. I have worked non-stop since I was 14, I have a business degree and I was always a really busy person so this was a huge change for me, and frankly, a blow to my ego. All of a sudden I was completely reliant on someone else. Eventually I settled in and came up with a schedule so I looked after all of the household requirements as well as looking after his billings, etc. Now, 7 years later, I am not back to work full time because it just wouldn’t work with his schedule. I own my own business and make it a part time job. The rest of the time I look after the house, manage renos to our old house, look after all of our finances, taxes, etc. and keep a busy social life. It works for us because my husband works really long hours and travels so often that it allows us to have quality time when he is home.

I feel you, supporting (even emotionally and around the house) your spouse while they continue their education – especially in healthcare where they have to keep their feelings bottled up but are working with very sick people – is extremely challenging! When my husband finally finished his training (16 years of post secondary!) he thanked me for keeping him going.

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It’s really interesting to think about roles and how they evolve. My husband and I were together 7 years before we got married, so I think our roles are pretty solidified now, though I know they could change in the future. As for eyebrows, I’ve actually never gotten them waxed in my life, but I do a fair amount of plucking.

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My daughter is a Valentines baby and she will be 6 this year!!!! We are getting excited!
Any winter Olympic sport – figure skating! That was my dream when I was a kid. :)
And I pluck eyebrows. :) a few a day as they grow in and it works. I have waxed in the past and you’re right – it’s dedinitely not as bad as you’d think.

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AHHHH my dad told my mom to keep me in one more day so that I could be a Valentines baby too. I love it! Tell her happy birthday month from us:) Thanks Laura!

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Roles, yep, they ebb and flow. I think the hard part is when you need to start sharing a role, or give up a role. Communicating that to the other person feels like an admission of not being able to do it all. However, I got better at realizing new role accepted means an old one needs to change or disappear.
I have most of the day to day duties: meals, dishes, laundry, Hope basics, etc. Chris does the finances, bills, car stuff, house repairs or contact with the professionals making them, yard, you get the idea. Thing I am careful of is after one of “those” days I remember his list because I have selective memory as to I am doing everything. The daily ones are seen on a daily basis, where his are more cumbersome when they need to happen. Like I already need to remind myself all the hours he is about to put in on our taxes.
Hope that makes sense.

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Even as a single lady, my role in my family has changed a lot over the last few years. As I’ve gotten more independent after college, my parents have gotten older and need me more and more. I find myself helping them and giving them advice pretty often these days.
I love watching figure skating, but in reality I am a terrible ice skater.
I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just trim and pluck because I like them a little fuller these days. I’m so curious about eyelash extensions, but they’re super pricy around here!
Have a great Thursday!!

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Thank you Kerri! That is so interesting about roles changing with your parents and you … I love that relationship and they are so lucky to have you! Come out to Utah and try them, they are a lot cheaper here. Enjoy watching figure skating this month! Thanks!!

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My youngest has a February birthday. He is 18 years old today!!!!! Which means all of my kids are officially adults!

I’m blonde and have very light eyebrows — just tried tinting for the first time and really liked it. I wax (but never as often as I should.)

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My birthday is February 19 and my daughter’s (first!) birthday is February 26! 😊

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AHHH the first birthday is the best! Happy birthday month Lisa:)

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We are New first time parents and we’re almost two months in and I feel like we’ve found our groove in our roles. Mine are keeping house picked up, keeping kitchen/dishes clean, cooking, laundry, and taking care of the baby when he’s at work. Husbands roles are bathrooms, all bills/taxes, working, baby’s baths, and taking care of the baby when home and awake. My husband works the night shift so he sleeps till almost 10am everyday. When he wakes up he takes care of the baby till he goes to work. That helps him get some time with her too and gives me a break.

I have never done anything to my eyebrows since mine are naturally thin and bleach blonde. Hahaha in the summer time they get so blonde I almost look like I don’t have any eyebrows.

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Congrats Catie on your new little one (our kids must be so close in age)! I am so glad you guys have found your groove and things are going smoothly! Keep me updated with everything and enjoy your day!

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This is such a great post! And super interesting to think about! Let me get back to you on that ;)
Shorts in January?!!? And Skye’s face cracked me up!
Thanks for reminding me I need to get my eyebrows done ASAP! I used to get them threaded but then I read this article about how you can get herpes from threading..so no more!
I would definitely compete in the snowboard half pipe if I could!

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2/2 birthday! :)

I was just saying I would love to have my brows waxed every two weeks like I did before kids. They are beasts (the eyebrows not the kids)! But now I’m too frugal and I don’t have the childcare. One day I will be back in that routine and I will thoroughly enjoy it. (It doesn’t hurt me at this point. It just feels relaxing!)

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AHHH Happy birthday tomorrow Kristin! I hope you have the best day… I hope your family spoils you:)

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I love idea of you guys discussing your rolls and keeping communication open throughout the changes. I think that’s huge, especially considering all of the life changes you guys have now gone through together! Y’all are rocking it! :)

Also–Brooke’s video cracks me up! She’s too cute and you can tell she is taking every move very seriously! ADORABLE!! I need to see that movie for sure!

I’m such a chicken when it comes to pain and waxing/tweezing my eyebrows is my least favorite thing in the world. Can you tell I’ve not experienced childbirth yet? HA! I’m not sure how that will work one day but…fingers crossed my pain threshold increases at that point…;)

I can’t wait to watch the Olympics! I can’t imagine doing what they do and wanting to go back for more! lol! They’re amazing!!!

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I have a February birthday! Feb. 11! As for roles I think the only one that has really changed is my husband usually makes dinner now. Not real sure why that started but he does. Its usually good. But he is messy cooker! And I am the one who has to clean up after him. If I could be in the Winter Olympics I would want to be one of those skiers that does tricks off the jump. Or maybe even a snowboarder even though I almost died the one time I tried snow boarding. I used to get my eyebrows waxed but the wax was too hot one time and I got burnt and haven’t tried it since. Now I just pluck. Skye’s little sweater onesie outfit is adorable! And Brooke is quite the entertainer!

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Your bday is just two days before mine wahoo! Happy birthday month:) HAHA I can relate a bit with you on the messy cooker (sorry Andrew;)! YOU GOT BURNT… okay, that is really scary! Thanks so much Corrinne and enjoy the rest of your day!

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The roles in our home are crazy right now. My husband is a police officer that works evening and nights. So I do all kid related activities except he picks the youngest up from school every day. He will clean during the day to help get things taken care of before my night of running kids to and from activities along with feeding them all takes place!
2/27 here, February birthdays are the best birthdays! ;)
I used to wax…now I thred…it is amazing! I like the look and feel of it much better than waxing. I also think it lasts longer (but that might just be in my head).

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Hello!! I’ve been enjoying your posts as a window to what’s next as I just had my baby #3 (first girl!) Dec. 30th! In my marriage our roles have naturally evolved over time with the addition of each kid, me transitioning from full time work to part time to currently staying home, and him going through medical school, residency, fellowship, and now regular position! We aren’t always great about actually talking about things like roles…usually it works out well but occasionally we have had some conflict over that!
I have a running question for you…I stopped running when I hit third trimester due to pelvic pain and had only been going a max of 4 miles during pregnancy prior to that. In a few more weeks I hope to resume running. If all goes well, my thought is to run a half in the fall – with my goal being just to gain enough fitness to be able to run that – and then maybe next spring work toward a PR. (I have ran 2 halfs, my PR is 2:08 and I would love to someday run a sub 2.) My question is if there is a rule of thumb or suggestion for planning workouts when building back a base, prior to following a training plan for a race? When to do speed training and how much? Does it make sense to follow the same patterns as a training plan but modify to current fitness level?
Thanks, and congratulations!

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CONGRATS JOANNA on baby #3 and your first girl!!! That is so exciting:) You guys have sure been through a lot of changes. I am so excited for your upcoming goals with running and you WILL break 2 hours in the half and I can’t wait to hear all about it. For me personally, I am really just trying to listen to my body each day. I’ll start following a training plan soon but as I’m building up, I think it is key to listen to what your body tells you to do after having a baby. I think it does make sense to follow the same patterns as a training plan but modify to what your body is telling you to do. I think the best tip would be to get a coach (that’s what I’m going to do) to help you build up safely to the half marathon again. Be incredibly patient with yourself and enjoy all of those newborn snuggles! Please keep me updated!

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I would do either speed skating or figure skating probably. I’m much more excited about summer olympics but winter ones are pretty good too.

My eyebrows need help sometimes haha. My aunt and her girls have perfect eyebrows and I’m waiting for her to wax mine.

Teach me your ways of loving to clean the kitchen! I love a clean kitchen but I swear it’s the hardest room for me to keep clean!

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Wow… you are an excellent dancer Brooke! :)

My daughter was born on Feb 21st.

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I’m stressing about my “role” changing and starting grad classes on Monday in addition to my job, so props to you guys for balancing kids and a whole lot more!

As far as the Winter Olympics go, I have been feeling super inspired, so I’d either do figure skating pairs (dreamy to have a guy lift you up like they do haha!) or alpine skiing :)

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AHHH DANIELLE!! Congrats on grad school starting. Good luck with all of the changes and I hope you love your program! Oh I totally agree with you about figure skating pairs… that would be so much fun! Enjoy your day.

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Your lashes look gorgeous! I get lash extensions, too! They’re my obsession. I don’t like wearing make-up, so I feel like that really helps! I also just caved and did microblading on my eyebrows. I have really patchy eyebrows, and I’m the WORST at filling them in. Microblading is where they take a scalpel and cut into your skin with dye. It was a little painful, but I’m glad I did it! They’re still healing, so I look like a have massive eyebrows, but once they heal, I think I’m going to really like it!

Cereal is my favorite snack. Always.

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OKAY… I WANT TO do microblading so so bad! I am so glad you got to get them done… you might have to send me a picture. You never have to wear any makeup now! I hope you have a beautiful day Chelsea and that you have some delicious cereal soon!

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So in our house there is 4 people, my husband, our two daughters ages 10 & 12 (technically my stepchildren, we have them 50/50), me and unfortunately no pets or babies. I would say everyone has there part and does a great job of contributing. We both work full time jobs 40hrs a week. So we are out of the house during the day. but to start I LOVE to clean, like seriously LOVE it. Cleaning and organizing is my thing. My husband which often helps out without being asked (he is just a good man that way), he is clean but his “thing” is building,fixing, handy type stuff. Imagine Chip Gaines x 100. okay im partial lol. so we recently purchased a new home in the past 6 months so we have been doing little projects, painting, replacing entire fireplace & wall – adding shiplap, extending patio, attic work etc. he does all of that himself i help if i can but usually im no help there. I do most of the cooking, sometimes he cooks, and sometimes we just eat out. Our girls are involved in lots of extracurricular sports/music from cross-country, soccer, basketball, gymnastics, to music violin/flute, to beta club they keep us plenty busy in the evenings and weekends. and then of course i like to run . so most of our days are very busy and we take turns shuffling kids around to where they need to be. Sometimes he brings them to where-ever they need to be so i can get my run in and sometimes i bring them/pick them up so he can have more time in the evening working on whatever our latest project is. I always bring them to school on our days, bc the timing of school and when i need to be at work makes more sense for me to bring them. The girls are at great ages and when they are with us they are responsible for making their beds, drying dishes, vacuuming, trash and laundry. They are great helps and thankfully are great girls and do it without any complaining. I would just say the biggest thing im finding is balance. everyone helping out, doing something to contribute. There isn’t any right or wrong way, we just try to do whats best for us and makes most sense for our family in order to make our life together work. Seems like you guys are doing something very similar. Glad you found a great team-mate!!

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My dad’s birthday was also 2/13. :)

Our roles change periodically and it’s good to be able to adapt.We have shifted certain duties when job hours changed over the years. Right now I do more of the dog care as Missy is arthritic and needs to be carried down the steps, my husband walks with canes so it’s not possible for him to do this. I have also taken over handling the recycling, mowing the lawn, and do the majority of snow shoveling. We split cleaning and cat care, he does the dishes, I cook and I do the laundry. We both work 2 jobs but his hours are longer. You do what works in the moment and adjust as necessary.

I’d love to be able to figure skate that beautifully and be fearless enough to snowboard. (apparently not enough to actually work on it though).

I used to tweeze my eyebrows and they just stayed in that shape so now I just pluck the occasional stray. My advice is leave them a little thicker than you think you want them because they do thin out eventually. :)

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February 2! Groundhog’s day :)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW KATIE!! I hope your day is perfect!

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Ahhh, my little girl! She turns one, and I still cannot believe it! Happy birthday month!

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Skye’s grumpy face in that adorable sweater outfit is just too cute!! It is amazing how early they seem to develop their little personalities :)

We have a six month old daughter so my husband and I are going through a lot of the same things as you and Andrew. We both work out of the house full time so we have a pretty set routine right now – my husband takes morning shift so after I feed our daughter, he plays with her until it is time for daycare and/or gets bottles ready for the day if we didn’t do it the night before. I shifted my work schedule so I get in early and leave early to get our daughter from daycare and then have an hour to hang out before it is bedtime. In the evenings, my husband washes all of my pump parts and I assemble bottles for the next day. We are constantly shifting who gets dinner ready/picks up dinner and who does laundry depending on what work the other one has to do in the evening (my husband does all of the finances and is working on starting his own blog!!! and i often have to work more in the evenings). I feel SO incredibly lucky to have a husband that does not think gender roles exist and just works with me as a teammate to get it all done! Sounds like you and Andrew also have that great balance :)

PS – I ended up doing the little poppy bow subscription. Got our first set of February bows already <3 <3 <3 addicted!!!!

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I have a February birthday (they are the best!)……it is the 27th but I am celebrating all month, ha! I will be 33.

My husband and I have roles pretty well figured out, and we split cleaning and stuff. I usually cook and he usually deals with the dishwasher. I like vacuuming but hate dusting so he does that. It all works nicely!

Have a great day!

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No February birthday…

I got my eyebrows threaded once because my girl friend convinced me I need to. Sadly the guy I was with at the time could barely notice the difference and I didn’t care. So I haven’t done them again. And my partner doesn’t care either about my eyebrows haha

I have to admit, my partner and I are pretty carefree as we are childless. Stuff just gets done…He is way more handy than me and I hate scrubbing a certain pot….but other than that, we will do what needs to be done and I will just ask him if I want help. He is actually neater than me haha. We both cook – clean – though I have to say I clean the bathroom more because he asked..

Winter Olympic sport – easy. Figure skating. I took lessons when I was younger and was convinced I could be an Olympian hahaha. I still love to ice skate.

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I’m a Valentine baby! ❤️
I’d say the roles at our house are fairly traditional. That being said, the roles aren’t set in stone. We both just seem to gravitate towards certain chores and somehow everything gets done! My husband and I make a pretty good team. I think cross country skiing would be so much fun!! I’m a plucker for sure but have tried waxing in the past. I can’t believe how fast Skye is growing! So sweet!

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Skye is so adorable. My baby is almost 10 months and it breaks my heart with how fast it goes! I also have a 6 and 4 year old so I’m trying to soak up every second (even middle of the night seconds) with my little sweetheart.

February birthday here! 2/27. Fun fact: my husband and I share a birthday, including the year!

I would for sure be an Olympic figure skater if i could. I always wanted to learn but never did, but i love watching it with my mom and grandma.

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My mom’s is on the 6th.
I was a swimmer from the age of 6 until I graduated high school, so I always thought it would be fun to go for swimming. My cousin even told her friends one time that I was going.
My husband and I are pretty good at splitting the roles, we definitely have things that we don’t like to do so the other one does it, like I do the clothes washing and he does the vacuuming/mopping/dusting, but there are also ones that we like doing together like cooking.

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I love it when Andrew has a chance to blog. I like seeing his perspective.

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Mine is on the 6th! 5 more days!!!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH ELY! I hope your day on the 6th is absolutely perfect!

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My little boy turns 2 on 2/13!! I didn’t realise you
Shared a birthday :-)

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No way!! I LOVE IT! Tell him happy birthday month!

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My birthday is on the 13th too, I think I’ve commented and told you this every year for the last 3 years;) Turning 21, I’m super excited!

That pink outfit that Skye has on is sooo adorable! I pluck mine, had them waxed once 5 years ago and never went again!! I would choose ice-skating, I used to ice-skate everyday a few years back but we moved and there isn’t a rink near me, but there is one being built 25 mins away and I’m going to go every week:)!!

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As someone who is obsessed with her dog, I LOVE that Beretta’s birthday was celebrated! When our dog turned one we had a party for all of our friends with dogs (which is most people in Colorado!) and instead of gifts for our boy, we asked people to bring items needed by a local animal shelter. It was a wonderful way to celebrate our little guy and help the needy animals in our community.

The onezie that Skye is wearing is simply too cute for words!

As to roles, I’m thankful that my husband very much respects my work. We do not have children…yet. I meal plan and grocery shop but whomever gets home first begins cooking. We clean up together after meals and pack lunches together (I’m a bit more specific about the cleaning so I do a bit more). I handle the laundry and am the push behind cleaning the house though he does it too, when asked. He handles all outdoor work and all things related to the cars. (And he kills all bugs). :) Having to ask him to help clean used to really upset me and we had a long talk about now he can’t read minds but I am a huge believer that he’s not “helping” me clean or do things around the house– it is both our EQUAL responsibility to keep our home clean and happy. I felt like asking was admitting it was my sole responsibility and that I couldn’t handle it…I’ve learned that we just see things differently. Thank goodness we communicate well — that’s what all this comes down to: communication and of course, respect. :)

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Two kiddo birthdays this month-my son is on the 15th and my daughter is on the 25. Her due date was the 28th though (I wanted that so bad!)

My role has developed more than *changed.* I am a single parent (6 years. wow, that went fast) and live overseas. It’s definitely keeping me on my toes because I do a lot more playful things and have to schedule in a lot more (no divide and conquer). Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of times where I say to no one in particular “I just wish someone else would take this over right now.” If I say it dramatic enough without bursting into giggles or tears my kiddos will try problem solve it with me.

You are fortunate to go 4-5 weeks on the lashes. I am good for 3-4. It’s my one treat since I rarely get my hair cut, don’t do nails, and insurance covers massages. Also, have you heard about microblading? I am so curious about it for brows. I love getting my waxed, too. It’s not as popular here as plucking or threading.

Nordic racing would be my only winter sport that I can actually do. But if there was anything I could wish to do it would be ice skating or racing. Ski jump would be fun but that landing scares the heck out of me.

Happy almost friday!!

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So brookes hooping dance reminds me of my daughters talent show way back in elementary! https://youtu.be/-NNN0tk9wMg
You will have to show brooke!

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Thank you so much for this post. I think this is the number one thing I will instill in my children (my daughter especially) is to set those expectations of roles up front and don’t put up with anything at the beginning you are not prepared to live with forever. My husband and I did not do that and we fell into our “stuck” roles and it often becomes a source of conflict (or at least resentment) – especially when the roles are lopsided.
Happy Birthday Beretta!

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Hi Janae and Andrew! Great post.

My husband and I have very traditional roles at this point, and probably will for a while. We moved from TX to CA a few years ago. I got a job right away, but it wasn’t very high paying, so when we had our first child it was really a no brainer that I wouldn’t go back to work. And we now have 3 kids ages 4 and under so I stay very busy with that! Even though I’ve always worked and enjoyed it, I think the kids will be the focus at least until they are all in school. So breakdown wise I take care of all the cleaning and cooking, etc and my husband helps a ton when he is home (bath and bedtime while I take care of our youngest).
Oh and I’ve been meaning to leave a comment for you guys because our babies were born just a few days apart! Its been fun seeing Skye growing just like my little guy. :)

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i have a january birthday — which was GREAT when i was growing up in kenya because we could do outdoor parties and backyard bbq’s! But now that i live in Connecticut, my birthday is almost always indoors (way too cold to be outside!). brooke is too cute with her greatest showman acts! i still havent seen that but i will soon be catching up on movies once i receive my MoviePass! :)

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downhill skiing, no doubt. i’m ALL about that need for speed. i always loved GS more when i raced, but i’d LOVE skier cross.

i pluck regularly but i prefer getting my eyebrows threaded!

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Agree… February is a great month for a birthday. :) Mine is the 15th and my dad’s is the 16th!

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What a nice post! Thanks for sharing! I love that you two always put family first and work together as a team! What a great example for your little ones!!

Happy birthday to your dog!

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I’m Feb 10th and already planning some celebrations.

My husband and I are pretty even with chores. He will step it up during my busy tax time and then I take over after April 15th. Communication seems to be key.

And Skye’s stink eye is hilarious and adorable. She could not be cuter.

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love this post! its so interesting to me to see what roles others take on within a relationship and so much changes with time! my bf and i have been together for 7 years and i can honestly say we make an awesome team…even in house work/etc! he does the yard work, snow clean up, mowing in the summer, etc and i usually do the cleaning. he is super tidy and keeps things picked up and organized and clutter free. if i asked him to vaccuum/ and or dust i know he would though. he also does his own laundry and i put his away etc if he is behind and he does the same for me. i do most of the cooking and food prep because i beat him home from work and enjoy doing it but he definitely helps. i do the grocery shopping because i actually like it and he absolutely hates it! haha!

omg i LOVEgetting my eyebrows done…its like my favorite self care activity (weird i know.) i get mine done with my brow girl Christine at the Ulta brow bar and she is seriously the best!

2/13 was my grandma’s birthday! and the 14th is my bf’s 30th!

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My husband’s birthday is the 11th (big 3-0 this year!), my little sister’s is on the 12th, and my mom’s is on the 20th. Once we start a family, we better not have any babies in February! That month is officially FULL!

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Skye is seriously so cute!!

At our house I guess our roles are pretty traditional, but it’s just the way things worked out. We don’t have kids yet so I can’t speak to that.

I work from home running my own business while my husband works outside the home full-time and goes to school for his masters part-time. I do the cooking, cleaning and laundry because I’m home, work less hours than him and honestly really love taking care of the house. I’m happy to do it for him because he is a great husband and I want to give him a break after he has worked so hard at home and at school. I love for him to be able to come home to a clean house and have dinner prepared so that it’s one less thing he has to worry about. He also is really great about washing any pots and pans I haven’t already cleaned up from dinner and helping me pack up leftovers and the like. He’s one of those husbands that if he sees something that needs to be done and has time, he will do it.

It was more even split on chores before when we were both working full-time outside the home, but I’ve always done the laundry and cooking because our whole marriage my husband has worked more hours than me. He doesn’t expect me to, but if he’s working 10-15 more hours a week than me, of course I’m going to. :) He always shows appreciation for the things I do, which makes me feel valued. :)

I have no eyebrows so I don’t know anything about waxing them, haha. I have to draw mine in every day… Don’t let me get in the pool or caught in a rainstorm because my eyebrows will disappear!! :-O

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Janae, I know this is off topic of your post, but I think Skye is starting to look a lot like Brooke! I can definitely see the sister relation of those two in these more recent pictures! Glad you hit 5 miles today! Keep it, girl!

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I have been a faithful reader for many years, Thanks for the knowledge you post, thank you for the recipe, I do not like to eat out, because my wife always cooks and that’s the recipe.

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