39 Weeks + I have a favor to ask of you…

My biggest tip is to relax and don’t listen too much to what you read/ hear about everything parenting related. No one has the bond you will with your daughter- no one knows what is right EXCEPT for the two of you. Somehow I managed to listen to this advice with my 9 month old daughter and I’m so glad I did. We did exactly what worked for us and not what we thought we should be doing. I’m specifically thinking about breastfeeding when I write this but thought it could apply to everything:)

I have breastfed all three of my kiddos; with my daughter for a year and with my twins for 9 months. The biggest advice I can give you is breastfeeding is hard, no matter if you’ve done it before and especially in the beginning! Be patient with it and yourself. Secondly, it’s ok if it doesn’t pan out, whether it’s a tongue tie, or whether you just don’t like it, don’t be ashamed to call it quits, do what’s best for you and the baby!

Good luck and many blessings in delivery! Can’t wait to see your new angel!

When I got nervous about giving birth (3 kids and it never got less nerve-wracking) I just tried to remind myself that millions of women have done it and I could too, and I focused on the big reward at the end — a wonderful new addition to the family! And also, regarding both birth and breastfeeding, just because it is “natural” doesn’t mean it’s easy. La Leche League was a huge help to me throughout my time of breastfeeding. Get over the hump of those first difficult weeks (6-8 weeks for both mom and baby to learn about each other, because every baby is different!) with some support and advice and it all gets so much easier. Wishing you all well!

My favorite quote in regards to parenthood is this one, from a doula:

“Be gentle on yourself while you cultivate your parenting muscle, and make room for mistakes. No two mothers are going to move through this journey the same way, and that’s a good thing, because your baby needs that special magic that only you can bring. ”

I read about your breastfeeding struggles with Brooke and it was the EXACT same thing I went through with my daughter this summer; weak latch, too sleepy to eat, had to exclusively pump, supply dried up within four months. It was absolutely heartbreaking for me and I don’t want any mom to feel this cloud of failure over their heads while they are trying to snuggle and love their newborn. YOU will know what is best for her! Once I realized that, it made motherhood so much easier and gave me time to be PRESENT with my daughter instead of fretting over milk supply.

Best wishes to you guys!

I’ve been a mom for four weeks now (9 month & 4 weeks if you count pregnancy!) and here’s my advice so far.
1. Treasure every second. It goes so fast and I’d rather spend the time cuddling my baby boy than worrying about laundry. Who cares if you wear the same leggings two days in a row?
2. Speak up-this goes for everything. At the hospital, advocate for yourself if something doesn’t seem right. If you’re not ready for visitors, say so (this is something I learned for next time). And if you need Andrew to do something, tell him. Apparently husbands aren’t mind readers.
3. Stay off baby forums, comments on baby Facebook posts, etc. I already have enough anxiety and reading about so many scary (but rare) things that can happen doesn’t do any good.
You’re getting so close! I’m can’t wait for the announcement and to find out her name!

My biggest tip for labor is you don’t have to be a hero – if you want drugs or an epidural, go for it. Everyone is different and what works for others might not work for you. Obviously the most important thing is a healthy baby and a healthy, happy mom!
As for breastfeeding – which is supposed to be so ‘natural;’ for many moms and babies it does NOT come naturally. Extra sleepy babies get lazy – try to be patient and certainly ask for help if you need/want it. I remember crying when I left the hospital because I didn’t want to leave the lactation consultant behind. Thankfully she didn’t mind if I called her and I know sometimes they even make house calls so if you need that, go for it.
You got this, Janae – I have no doubt!
Best wishes for your beautiful family!

I had my first baby about 3 weeks ago so we have been deep in the trial and error period over here :) my only advice is follow what you want to do and not what the internet tells you to do! I thought I wanted a drug free birth and the second contractions hit hard I was yelling for the epidural and it was a miracle!! My daughter was facing sunny side up and I ended up pushing for four hours- no way could I have done it without.

If breastfeeding is a struggle in the beginning, just know it will get better. I had really good and REALLY bad days of feeding for my baby’s first 3 weeks. She would be crying, I would be crying…it was a mess. Then, at the 4th week, we finally understood each other and everything clicked. Now, she lives on my boob and my husband and I laugh about the wrestling matches we would endure just a few weeks ago. Just like running, don’t quit just because it’s hard.

And if people offer to babysit Brooke/Knox, make meals, unload your dishwasher, walk your dog, etc, let them!

One thing that my husband and doula told be during my first labor when I said I couldn’t do it anymore was “you’re doing it!!!” I’m not sure why but this really helped me! I’m hoping for the same this time around! I’m currently 30 weeks with my second!!

Definitely go to a lactation support group. Hopefully your hospital offers one. Breastfeeding was so difficuly for me in the first 8 weeks, and I found it so helpful to learn. I dont think I would have made it past 4 weeks if I hadnt attended.

I also experienced baby blues/postpartum adjustment disorder. Almost everyone I know who had a baby felt sad for a few days or weeks while your hormones level out, but if it lasts a while or seems extreme please ask for more support from Andrew, your family, or a licensed professional. I let mine go on too long and honestly we all suffered, until accepted what was going on wasnt normal and found someone to talk to.

My only advice is have something special set up for Brooke and Knox every day and GET THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE (with others, of course). I felt so so guilty about not spending as much time with my oldest when my youngest was born. It was an exciting but very stressful and confusing time for her and I had so much guilt. I even took her to get a donut the day after we got home and I could hardly walk. Don’t do that. Get them out of the house with your sister or someone fun so you and Andrew can soak up that sweet new baby goodness guilt free. :)

All your love of hot chocolate has me looking at this Hot Chocolate 15k here in charlotte (https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/charlotte)

My advice for everything, but especially for labor, breastfeeding, recovery, life – don’t have expectations (good or bad). Don’t expect that the child will be perfect or that the things will go wonderfully (or terribly), don’t envision all these things on how it will be, who she will be, what you’ll do. Feel okay going in blind and whatever you get or however it works out will be just right because there is no alternative vision. This might be harder because you’ve been through it all once before, but going is saying that whatever happens, happens and that’s just right worked really well for me. Whether you have a c-section or not, or you breastfeed or not, or recovery is slow or not – it’s all just right for you because it’s just the way it was meant to be all along.

During labor:just take one contraction at a time. Don’t even think about the fact that you will have another one (this kept me from panicking during 3 unmedicated labors haha).
During the newborn stage: don’t plan on sleeping at night. This sounds crazy but I found that if I planned on being awake I was much more grateful when I did sleep vs. planning to sleep and being frustrated that I was awake. Another thing that helped was having a new show that I could binge during all those lonely nighttime hours.
As far as breastfeeding goes, those first six weeks, eat and drink more than you think you need, and nurse on demand. You and baby are both going through a lot and feeding whenever baby wants to eat is crucial for establishing that milk supply!

Someone suggested the book Moms on Call to me when i was pregnant with my third, and I found it enormously helpful in remembering the basics you seem to forget between kids… month-by-month general feeding/sleeping schedules, etc. It’s very concise and easy to read- really great tips. And for breastfeeding, the best thing I did was, after the first week or two, feed just on one side in the first morning feeding (whenever you’re going to be up for the day) and would pump the other side. That both keeps your supply up and also gives you breast milk for another person to introduce a bottle or to store for longer term. Just set me up to have some “freedom” from being needed for every single feeding (to take my big kids out without the baby, go out with husband or friends and leave baby with a parent or sitter, etc). Also- remember that this really is a gift to your big kids. Their lives are going to change and they may have challenges of not being catered to as much- I reminded myself often that this was a great lesson in character building! The sibling relationships have been one of the most rewarding things I’ve experienced. Good luck!

My oldest is 14 now … I remember daydreaming about having someone come clean my toilets for me. If I had it to do over again, I would have planned to have a cleaning service for the first several weeks of her life. Congratulations to you two!!!

I always threw up at transition and that’s got me to a 10 both times. So if you throw up just think about how much closer you’re getting to meeting her!
I found malt (as in chocolate malts) was good for increasing my milk supply and cabbage leaves in my bra totally helped with being too full toward the beginning.

I am new to your blog but I am just so inspired by you! I’m bookmarking this for the next time I’m pregnant. ?

The best advice I got for breastfeeding a newborn was to spend some time during each session just falling in love. Just a moment to be present and savor the smell and softness of your darling. Not only is it a small way to find mindfulness during the hazy crazy days of having a wee nursling, but it also encourages letdown and stimulates milk production.

So excited for you!

Just be in the moment and feel however you feel. It all goes by so very fast.

I’m kind of bad at this because (1) I had a c-section and (2) my preemies wouldn’t latch, but one thing that helped me is to do whatever you can that allows the baby to sleep well. Happy baby means happy you. I read all the sleep books while pregnant and highly suggest Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. He had schedules in there and I’m not sure how it works but it did. It changes as they get older and it always worked. Every time they weren’t sleeping well, I switched the schedule and BAM, it worked. People are always surprised that mine go to bed so early (not really early, its the recommended time for their age), but they are great sleepers! Also, what does that say about me that I thought that light was initially a cupcake? I’m off sugar right now until Christmas and as you can see, I am doing VERY well. LOL! Have a great one, Janae! And don’t be nervous! You’ll do great! I’ll keep you in prayer though and pray that God grants you peace.

My little girl is three months old today, so I feel like we’re almost in the same boat. The thing I have found the most helpful is the saying “everything is a phase.” I repeat this to myself during the hard times like the sleepless nights or the times she’s crying and I can’t seem to find the right thing to comfort her (usually it’s gas)(baby tears break your heart!). I also repeat this to myself during little moments here and there to remind myself to stay present. I want to remember every silly face, every little baby coo, and every little smile. Best of luck with your labor and delivery. I can’t wait to follow your journey with a newborn on the blog!

The best advice I received when having my second child was if both kids need you, attend to the older one first. The baby won’t remember, but the big siblings sure do. It’s a new balancing act, but I wish you luck!

BIGGEST TIP which was a life changer for me…drum roll….start squeezing your milk out in the shower NOW so that when she comes it’s ready to flow. My body didn’t want to work or produce much for my first kiddo and I got this tip before my second and my 2nd came out ready to eat and my body filled up her sweet belly on day 1!

Get. The. Epidural. :)

Real talk:
2:30 AM alone in the living room with a crying baby, running on little sleep can be a dark place. It is totally normal to have moments of “what in the hell did I get myself into?” Everyone thinks this, and if they say they don’t…they are lying. It is ok to think these things! You are not a bad mom for wanting to “walk away” for a few minutes and hide in the bathroom. Or ball your eyes out in the shower for absolutely no reason! All sooo soo normal!

I’m so excited to virtually meet this baby!
Bringing a baby home to a house that already has kids can be fun but also HARD!
I just had my fifth a few months ago and the best thing I did was to stay in the hospital as long as I could.
I went home with several of my other kids the day after having them, because my doctor said I could. Going back to real life was hard, super hard, both physically and hormonally for me. So this time, with my last, I told my husband not to expect me home until the last possible minute (he doesn’t stay overnight in the hospital with me because there needs to be one coherent parent around, he just visits a lot during the day). Having people bring me meals and help with my baby in the hospital was good. But having a whole extra day with just me and her was amazing. So amazing. I didn’t have to worry about my other kids and I could spend hours skin to skin with her without any little interruptions.

Lean into the pain, welcome the pain. It’s exquisite if felt this way. Just as in a race, when you embrace the pain, it shifts. Anything you accept fully, with every cell of your body, becomes an incredible experience. To resist is futile, in any case! I resisted the pain (in retrospect with number 1) and it was really hard. With number 2, I opened to the pain and embraced it and it was overall an incredible and far easier process, and I was able to have a natural childbirth (number 1 was an epidural). Embrace the pain! You know all about this already! XOXO

I think with labor and delivery, the plan is to have no plan. What? Crazy talk. I’m a planner, but with labor and delivery anything can happen and you need to be open to everything. This was so hard for me ahead of time; however, when I was in the moment, I could choose what I wanted. Did I want an epidural? “Not yet” and then, “yes, now please”. Did I want a c-section, no. Did I need one? No. Would I have accepted one if I needed to? Yes. No plan makes it so much easier to go with the flow. Also, as a runner, I felt like I could tolerate more pain (or maybe that’s just me). I knew my body could do incredible things and childbirth was something I could totally do.

Breastfeeding is a whole other topic (or should I say journey?). Again, you need to be open. There may be a chance that it doesn’t work. And that’s okay – always do what’s best for baby. Forget social pressures. If you need to switch to formula – do it. If you don’t need to switch, that’s awesome too! I drank a ton of mother’s milk tea (like three times a day) and ate a lot of foods that assisted with milk product (oats, almonds, etc.). Relaxing is key – it makes the milk flow better. And remember, it takes time for both of you to find your groove. Finally, if you need a lactation consultant – hire one. Heck, if you need a sleep consultant when its time to sleep train – hire one! (Oh and from a sleep obsessed mommy – don’t stress about sleep the first three months – enjoy the cuddles and snuggles as they are fleeting. I developed a strong routine to signal night vs. day, but in no way would I recommend training until the baby is older. )

Good luck and enjoy the ride (again!). I think you’ll find you remember more than you think!

My biggest tip would be to have some pre-made formula on hand for the first few days. With my little one my milk didn’t come in until three days after birth and the colostrum wasn’t enough for my baby boy. He ended up losing more weight than I would have liked (which he very quickly gained back- we’ve got a big, healthy and happy boy now) but as a first time mama I didn’t even think that my breastmilk might not be enough. I wish I had known to have some with me, it breaks my heart to think he was hungry. Sometimes its not “breast is best” it’s whatever works best for mama and baby. Chances are if you have formula on hand you won’t need it!

When our second son was born I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding which made it difficult for me to bond with him (we were both crying all the time)! I had pumped with the first little guy… THE WHOLE TIME and really-really wanted breastfeeding to work the second time around. It was really hard and confusing not to instantly bond with my sweet boy who I had been impatiently expecting!! So many people told me not to give up and it would only take a few weeks (They were right!) I got help when I needed and asked every mother available for tips. I gave myself one month to figure it out and if he started losing weight or we just couldn’t get it by then I would stop. By the end of the third week, we were both rocking it!! Once all the stress was over, that time with him was so precious and the love instantly and profoundly attacked me :)

Having a baby with little ones already at home is a whole new process. Give yourself time to figure it out. Remeber that the baby sleeps so much in the beginning and will provide you with plenty of time to snuggle the older kids. I found it helpful to have an activity bucket for my older guy that he could only play with/use while I was busy with the baby. A lot of people say take care of the older ones first and I agree. When a baby is crying it feels so overwhelming and stressful and you want to instantly make them happy, but if you always drop what you’re doing with the older kids it can lead to some resentment and competition (I learned this the hard way). It is ok to spend a second letting the kids know they are important before checking on the baby. Also, give them a job to do when you have to take care of your sweet new girl. Maybe it could be one of their jobs to always get you a new diaper or pick out a new shirt for the baby etc. and play up how helpful they are being.

Sooo, my advice is to not be afraid to ask for help and if things are difficult, be kind to yourself. Lack of sleep, crazy hormones, the stress of life changing are all a part of the game, don’t force yourself into a preconceived box of what being a mom to a newborn should be. It’s ok to do it your way and figure it out as you go.

Good luck you will do amazing (I absolutely know it! – you are one of the most mentally strong people I ‘know’, you have been through hard times before, these little issues will be a piece of cake)… and if you don’t, that’s ok too, we (and your awesome family) will all be here for you until you figure it out.

I was so worried about what labor (and the car ride to the hospital) would feel like with my first son, so I wanted to have music to take my mind off things. I used the same playlist I used for my last marathon and it totally helped during the car ride and contractions! As for advice with a newborn/breastfeeding, just take it a day at a time and know that each day will get a little better/easier (with obvious bumps along the way). Know that it is okay for your emotions to be ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE!!! And so much of that has to do with sleep — so once you can start getting sleep again (whenever that is ;)) you’ll feel more normal. And my favorite quote “the very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one”. GOOD LUCK!!!!

I breastfed my first two kids for 2.5 and 3.5 years and am now pregnant with my third. I have had natural deliveries and got trough them with the motto: “progress, not pain”. I refused to let the idea of what I was feeling as being a pain enter my head and just reframed all sensations as progress toward having my babies.

As for breastfeeding. In your heart, always come from a place of yes. Whether the baby has been nursing for an hour and then wants to nurse again right away (in the early days this can happen)…yes. If you are heading into the grocery store and you only have 30 minutes before you have to get Brooke from school…yes…just sit in the backseat and do it. You just have to always be willing to say yes when the child wants to nurse. And offer nursing as a first line of comfort over and over again because it’s usually what they need. So much “yes” in nursing! After a few moths it gets so much easier and natural. And after a year it is a gift! It’s super easy at that point and it becomes the best way to bond with a toddler. Napping/sleeping with your child while nursing is also so lovely and an easy way to get sleep for both of you.

I would not use that cute little light during nighttime feedings. I wanted my babies to learn that night was a time of feeding but no socializing with mom! No lights, no talking, just nursing the baby and going back to sleep. I used disposable diapers at night and only changed them if they were soiled.

My biggest tip is don’t rush back to running (or any working out, for that matter). I thought I’d be super anxious about returning to running (I stopped at 34 weeks), but then I realized that running will always be there. I love it so much that I’m confident that it will be in my life, for the rest of my life. I also didn’t realize that it’s not just about when I’m ready to run again… it’s about when the baby is ready for that, too. I’m currently 4.5 weeks post partum, and though I plan on trying to get a few miles in at the six week point, if it doesn’t happen, it’s no big deal. It’s too cold for stroller runs and my baby doesn’t nap soundly in his swing yet, so having him nap next to the treadmill really isn’t an option. I also want to do everything I can to keep my milk flowing. So, I’ll be patient and wait until we’re both ready.
PS: If us first time moms can do it (and you were one not too recently!), then you will certainly be just fine. I wish you a speedy and pain free labor ;) and healthy and happy baby and mom!
Oh! And, I don’t know what Mer’s first name is (Meredith? haha) but that’s my guess for your baby’s first name.

Words of wisdom from my Mother & Grandmother ….. SLEEP when baby sleeps – the laundry, dishes & cleaning can wait! :)

The most important thing for me to remember is that it is all temporary. The waiting, the labor, the sleepless nights, the struggles with breastfeeding, the attitudes from the big kids… All of it usually lasts no more than a couple of hours to a couple of weeks, so I had to remind myself of that when I was feeling anxious, sleep deprived, or overflowing with hormones. When things feel difficult, remember that it won’t always be so, and often from that you can find the patience and courage to embrace the stage you are in. Also, remembering that will help you treasure this beautiful stage of your life, and from that, things will feel less daunting.

Also, trust yourself. You know your body and baby better than anyone – even doctors!

Plan to see a lactation consultant (even if you see one in the hospital, make an appointment afterwards if you need it- you probably will). I got a lot of mixed messages from the hospital nurses related to breastfeeding and latch and when I got home I was completely lost. We saw an IBCLC on day five and it was a huge turning point for us. Besides helping correct our latch problems (we took pictures and video of a good latch during the appointment because it’s easy to forget once you get home), she also gave us some great advice about sleep and scheduling. Now at 6 weeks our daughter is sleeping 9-7 with just one wake up, and she’s right on the 50th percentile for growth.