WE ARE BACK + Having a step-daughter (from Andrew’s perspective)

This is so sweet! I love these Andrew guest posts.

https://jonandaudadventure.wordpress.com/

Hooray for being back home!

Thanks for the post, Andrew! I got VERY lucky with Sophia, my nine year-old step-daughter. We first met when she was five years old, and we have our BFFiversary every year.:)

Monday is always my start of the week. I like Sunday to be the closer.
My boyfriend was divorced just a short while before we started dating. I remember about 6 months in as he started to introduce me to his kids how much of a big deal this was. He was still navigating through his new norm. He only has his girls on wednesday evenings from 7pm until he drops them at school the next morning and then every other weekend. It’s totally not enough. I spent a good two years making sure that my presence didn’t interfere with their time with their dad. I made sure to leave the empty spot on the couch or at the restaurant table so they could sit on his lap or next to him. I stepped back when i was in this amazing new relationship and all I wanted to do was have him all to myself. But the more the girls and I became friends the better it was all around. Now, 3 years later it’s all really wonderful. I know they’d be happy to have me as a step mom should we ever get married. But boy was that a lesson in patience for me. I don’t have my own children so blending wasn’t so hard in that respect. Good thing because they have swim meets, gymnastics meets, choir and acting performances and we’re already “booked!”. LOL.

So great to hear your perspective on things, and it seems like y’all are both doing such a wonderful job of making sure both of your kiddos are completely loved. I’ve never been in a relationship, so I don’t know a ton, but I do know that love is the most important thing, and y’all seem to have that in abundance. :)

The highlight of my weekend was spin class with my mom and hanging out at the pool (and actually getting to relax a little bit) in the gorgeous weather we had.

I don’t have kids so can’t comment on that at all. BUT I totally related to Andrew’s comment about the English language. I only speak English… and I know I have decent thoughts in my head but getting them out verbally or onto paper is a huge challenge! I think it’s just I have so much going on in my head, the words get jumbled :) Anyway, I thought Andrew’s writing was great and clear… so that gave me some hope that maybe when I speak, it’s not as incoherent as I think :) Thanks for reading this long comment if you did!

Fortunately my parents are happily married and am currently happily married myself with a 7 yo son!
That said Andrew’s opening paragraphs had me with a huge lump in my throat. Thanks for a new perspective!

Hi Andrew! Great post. My sister divorced when her girls were small and as a family we kept our opinions of her ex to ourselves, we never talked bad about him to the girls. I think you guys are doing a great job!

I’m the youngest of four (2 girls, 2 boys) so there are LOTS of getting in trouble stories! But TONS of happy, fun memories, too. Here’s one: we had a small above ground pool when I was about 4. We were all swimming, making a “whirlpool,” trying to get the tide as fast as possible. To make that happen, we would kick off the side of the pool, in the same place every time around. Until… one powerful kick blew the side of the pool wide open and one of my brothers was sucked out into the yard! That was almost 50 years ago and I can picture it like it happened yesterday.

My week starts on Sunday. I think being at church sets the tone for the week.

I always enjoy your guest posts!! Keep them coming :)

Andrew, this is so sweet! I’m a child of divorce and I remember what it was like growing up seeing my family split. But both of my parents remarried and I have always been close to both step-parents. You all are doing great by the look and sound of it!

Start of the week is definitely Monday. lol Aside from from sibling stories like locking each other outside in the winter just for kicks, or hanging me on a bush by my bookbag and him taking off, all that fun stuff. My poor Mom. Brother is 3 years old, so I’m the younger picked on sister. We were playing in Dad boat in the yard, I got out, and my brother wanted to see how close he could come to hitting me with the boat anchor….he got me, on top of the head. Stitches required. We were pretend fishing as well inside, with no hook but with a weight. He was trying to reel it in so trying to fix the line, I grabbed it, he yelled at me to let go, when I did it shot through the air and hit my parents bedroom hollow door and went straight through it. 35 years later, the hole is still there. But the most talked about is…he told me…to go in the bathroom while at this restaurant and break open this stink bomb. I’m like “ok”. He thought it would just stink up the bathroom, but it slowly stunk up the whole entire restaurant. As workers scurried around, my Mom glared at us, of course we put on our innocent faces and blamed each other. Can you say, Rotten Kids !!! Step anything is hard. I have a step son who is an adult now. And the first few years while he was younger, was so hard. We had a very very very difficult time working with his Mom. It got easier the older he got, which was the less we’d have to converse with her. He’s now an adult. But through it all I think he and I always had a very good step relationship, and we still do. So I guess we survived the bumps in the road.

Sunday is the seventh day to me. :-) weekend. Monday is the beginning of the week.

I got to run with my teammates on Saturday so that was really great. I haven’t run with them since November. Yesterday we go to see some of my husband’s cousins that we haven’t seen in a while, so that was nice too.

My brother is 4 years younger than me so we didn’t usually cook up schemes together, that happened with my cousins who were my age. He could drive me insane like no one else and yet I would defend him against other kids in a second.

So glad you didn’t use the vacuum lol!!!

The start of the week is Monday, without a doubt.
Blending family – my husband brought his 2 year old daughter into our relationship. We had full custody of her (she had visitation with her mom). This was such a blessing, especially as we realized that we had fertility issues and had to work really hard for our other two kiddos. She is now 27 and is my daughter in every way that counts. One thing I appreciated as she was growing up is that no one in my family ever thinks of her as step-anything. She is just our daughter/niece/granddaughter/cousin, etc. There are times we forget there isn’t an actual blood relation.
Highlight of the weekend – I worked Sat & Sun night and ALL the babies in the Dallas area decided to be born. I had the honor of helping several families welcome their new babies into the world. It never gets old.

Siblings are the best! So complicated but it is a connection like no other. I hope to blend my family with an adopted sibling.

Andrew, I loved your honesty and even your humor! My parents got divorced when I was in 7th grade and being so young, I really had no idea what that meant except that my dad wasn’t going to be around anymore. My parents did SO well at bringing the entire family together for important events like graduation and birthdays. This was by no means easy for either of them but they did it to be involved in our lives. That helped SO MUCH.

Again, thanks for your honesty. You rock.
Ashley

Great post, Andrew! It brought tears to my eyes! I wish all couples were able to focus on the big picture and make it more positive. I never knew my mother. My step-mother wasn’t a kind person and always made sure we knew we weren’t really part of the family, so I always admire kind and loving step-parents. Hardships always tend to make us more appreciative of life. And Janae, I feel like Monday is the start of the week!