Cornbelly’s might be one of my favorite parts about Fall. This is a yearly tradition for us so I’ll just start off today showing you a bunch of pictures from Utah’s Halloween/Fall carnival.
We stopped by Megan D’s house for a few minutes and I think she won the competition for the best pumpkin anything—> Pumpkin Spice Sheet Cake w/Brown Sugar Caramel Frosting. These were too good.
And a few more tangents before we get to the topic of the day.
*Knox was crazy excited about his new shark shoes.
*We love finding new delicious salad dressings and this one is excellent.
*See that stool Knox is on, that is the middle stool at the table and it has been the source of many disagreements in our home. Luckily, Brooke and Knox are on a very good rotating schedule and they remember who sat there last better than anything else.
*They got Gushers yesterday and I took out mom/step-mom tax from each one. It reminded me of 4th grade and how excited I got if I found these in my lunchbox.
Sometimes I wonder why I talk about things like this but I’ll just go for it today because talking about things that aren’t always easy to talk about is important. Reality is that we all feel negative about our body at times (some more than others) but being able to talk about it and realize you aren’t alone helps (I think). Some may relate and some may not but if you ever need to talk about this kind of stuff… I’m your woman! Just some girl over here in Utah sharing every thought my brain has…
While I was running my marathon last week I got to one point along the way where I started thinking about my very first marathon. I thought about how much my life has changed since then in a million different ways. It then got me thinking (this was at about mile 12) about how I am at least 30 lbs heavier now than I was during my first few marathons (this was before I started blogging). I don’t weigh myself but about a year ago I saw my weight at the doctors (30 lbs more than I was at during my first marathons) and since getting married my clothes are a bit more snug than when I last weighed myself.
PS There is a difference between not eating enough calories and working out too much to be a certain weight and just naturally being at that same weight. When I was 30 lbs lighter than I am now it was because I was not eating NEARRRRR enough for how much I was working out. I think my body is around it’s set point right now but during those first few marathons, I was not. I was at a weight that meant I was living off of roasted vegetables and candy and running a ton of miles and doing a lot of spin classes each week. There’s a difference between your body’s set point being x amount of lbs and being unhealthy/disordered to weigh that exact same weight. It puts a lot of stress on your body to live the way I was.
I remember being at the starting line when I was so much lighter, so worried about how tight my shorts were or that I needed to lose more weight etc. I was disordered. It was not healthy. I remember thinking throughout those races way back when about how I needed to be doing more and eating healthier because I wasn’t fast enough or thin enough. I remember being completely obsessed with what I ate for the rest of the day after a marathon and feeling awful for any type of indulgent foods that were not on my safe list. I remember recovery from races or hard runs being miserable because my body felt so beat down because I wasn’t refueling it properly.
I certainly remember being seriously injured time after time because of the way I ate/exercised and that caused major issues in my bone health and my muscles. I remember fatigue, I remember never feeling good enough and most definitely missing out on a lot in life. Now my life circumstances have changed completely since that time. My eating and exercise was the way I chose to cope, unhealthily,with different circumstances I was struggling with at that time but it was something that I decided, along with professional help, needed to change.
So, 30 lbs more than what I used to be at when I first started racing (and at that low weight I constantly felt like I needed to lose MORE which is beyond confusing to me now) I am happy with where I am. When I was thinking about that at mile 12ish it made me happy to think about those 30 added lbs. Those 30 lbs mean health for me. They mean strength, love and an amazing husband that truly loves me to pieces no matter what. That change meant I feel a whole lot better before, during and after my races. They mean that I really only have hard body image days around that time of the month when my hormones are crazy rather than pretty much every second of the day. That 30+ lbs means I’m fueling and moving my body in a way that my bones are healthy (I used to be in the Osteopenia range and really close to Osteoporosis at the age of 25ish) again. Amenorrhea (when your cycle disappears, it is because your body doesn’t have enough energy that is necessary to ovulate) was also a consequence for me when I was 30 lbs lighter.
I think we are used to reading and hearing stories all of the time about how much better and healthier people feel after they lose weight. But yeah, I’ve just been thinking about how much better and healthier I am after gaining weight.
My running feels better, my head feels better, my body feels better and my focus is somewhere completely different than where it used to be. So yeah, for me… running a marathon 30 lbs heavier sure felt a million times better than those underweight races years ago.
Long story short, I think our bodies perform best around their natural set point. The closer we are to our set points, the better we feel before, during and after our runs. Our body has a pretty good idea of where it is happiest, which makes for our best performance possible. If we are eating well, exercising often and sleeping well—> I think we are pretty dang close to where our body feels and runs at it’s best.
PS Andrew has a scale and it doesn’t even tempt me. I didn’t even realize it was there until a few weeks after he put it out. Those scales used to own me and now it is just a thing I stub my toe on every now and then when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
PPS this is just my new favorite quote:
PPS this picture just makes me so happy!
What are your feelings towards the scale? Has it changed over time? Have you been on a roller coaster at all with your weight and how did it effect your running? Fruit snack that reminds you of your childhood? What was in your lunch box? Andrew has a very important question for you… We have been using your amazing pumpkin recipes (THANK YOU) and we are now in need of any soup/chilli recipes that you may have! We are big fans of soups over here and need to find our favorites. THANK YOU!!!! (PS if your comment goes to spam if you include links ((because sometimes it will do that)) I will get it out asap!!!)