Just the typical Monday night in our neck of the woods.
The star of dinner last night was this butternut squash. I first steamed the squash in the bag (thank the heavens for peeled and cubed squash).
And then sautéed the squash with olive oil, taco seasoning, red, green and yellow bell peppers. A little tortilla, cheese and mango salsa—> butternut squash fajitas. Sounds weird, tastes delicious (aka every meal I ever make).
We then stopped by a huge twister game and Brooke may have tried to disqualify Bree.
Whenever we go outside Brooke holds my jacket and her jacket (or vest) closed to help both of us to stay warm… she’s got a good heart.
The beautiful Rolo brownies. I bake the brownies normally and then about 6 minutes before they are done I stick a bunch of Rolos in and then finish cooking them. A great way to win someone’s heart:
I saw this on Instagram yesterday and I almost dropped everything and drove the thirty minutes north to get this. If you are lucky enough to live near a TJ’s please go and get this asap and eat it for me.
I don’t even know why I was thinking about this topic last night but as I was thinking about how running helps me through the hard stuff in life I thought, ‘hey, why not share more parts of your most personal memories with the whole internet’ and so that is what I am doing today (along with a running picture that has nothing to do with the post).
I was thinking about why I chose to run during the times when it was hard to even get out of bed and face reality each day. I was wondering how it was possible that I still laced up my running shoes on days that I felt like my heart had actually exploded. Where did the energy come to keep running miles when it felt like I was emotionally on empty? What motivated me to keep up running when my whole world changed overnight? It wasn’t because I am a running blogger (I’ve been out of running due to injury many times and still kept up my blog with just writing about randomness). I didn’t keep running to make anybody else happy or to keep up my fitness. I didn’t talk myself into continuing to run during the darkest times because I thought it would fix all of my problems. I kept running because it allowed me to feel normal when everything else was changing. Running was that part of each day that gave me hope that things would somehow work out.
A running memory that I will never forget was after meeting with my attorney for the first time and filing for my divorce. As you can imagine (and I’m sure a lot of you know too well) that is a pretty intense meeting. We ended at around 5 pm and hadn’t eaten really anything yet that day because I was so sick about everything. I was with my mom and two of my brothers and when we got back to the hotel room after filing for divorce I went straight to grab my running gear without saying a word. My brothers thought I was crazy for wanting to run after a day like that day but I just needed running after all that had happened. I went out for four miles. I was in an area in California I had never been to before and made sure to just continue to turn right if I came to a red light because I wanted to avoid stopping at all costs because for the first time in a while I was actually feeling like myself again. It was 28 minutes of peace and normalcy. And even though the weight of the situation hit me again and I started crying the second I stepped into the hotel room again, I still had those 28 minutes that day which was 28 minutes more than I would have had if I didn’t lace up my running shoes that day.
I think if you’ve been running for a bit then you most definitely have had to make the decision of whether or not to keep on running when everything else in your life seems to be falling apart. If you’ve read this blog longer than a week then you know I have a list of about 400 reasons why I run and I think the reason of it helping me through the hard stuff has to be in the top three reasons why I run. For some reason the simple act of running helps me to sort through problems, feel peace/security, fill me up with gratitude, teach me about my strength and without fail… I always feel better after a run than I did before the run. So, if you can… I hope you keep running (as little or as much as you would like) through the hard stuff too because I truly believe it can help (along with other things too:) you get through the toughest of times.
Wanna share any hard situations (you don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want) that running has helped you to get through?
That squash sounds amazing the way you cooked it. I am going to try that. Thanks for sharing!
Running has definitely provided an outlet for me at times as well. I appreciate you sharing that. Everyone has their outlet and running happens to be ours. It is amazing what running can do for us. By the way, I love Rolos and those look amazing!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma
I have definitely run through hard situations and often find that my running improves when I’m running on emotions. It also helps me to deal with the situation because my feelings come out during my runs and I’m better able to process them.
Katie @ katiesfitscript
Someone told me how you update every day at 8am and now it’s like I can’t miss it! haha! The things that you share hit so true to my heart, and not even close to what you went through…nasty break up not divorce but I tell people all the time how it’s so much bigger than we are. It’s not about the fitness, it’s not about the mileage, it’s about some form of solidarity where you are able to find something deep within you that’s so free and happy.
Maddie @ Dixie Runs
I love rolo brownies :) my mom makes those all the time!
Running helps me deal with anxiety on a daily basis. I can get really easily overwhelmed and wound up and running just sort of calms me down and takes my mind off anything that it bothering me. I love that you share such personal stories. You help more people than you know!
Anytime I’m dealing with something that tugs at my heart or hurts my soul, I run. I always have and always will. It just soothes me.
Margaret @ youngandrungry
I think running helps us through the hard stuff because it’s taught us to keep going even when it hurts. I was “laid off” of my first job out of college after 5 months. They hired me knowing that the facility was closing, which was a huge blow because I moved to this city just for the job. I was so blessed to find another job pretty much right away, but in that week that I wasn’t working I was running for hours and looking back, it was actually a pretty good memory.
Sarah @ SarahRuns26
Running clears my head. Anytime I’ve been struggling with something and my mind is going a million miles a minute, running clears everything out and allows me to think rationally. Instead of acting on emotion, I am able to see other sides of a situation and think about what the best way to react would be.
Thanks for sharing that story Janae. I feel lucky that I haven’t really been through anything THAT hard in my life and I hope I never have to. I can’t imagine all the pain that caused. But, I definitely do use running when I’m upset or scared or any other emotion- I think all the endorphins help regulate those other things going on and really do help as therapy. Thank you, Running.
Shay @Great Now What
That was so brave to share. You’re right when we can invest in ourselves and go for a run/meditate/whatever your thing may be, you feel 100x better. I’ve cried (happy and sad) tears many times on long runs before, but don’t regret any of them.
I’ve actually been going through a pretty tough time lately for a variety of reasons, and running has been an outlet to help me get away from the stresses and pain for a while and do something I love. I can absolutely see how you needed those 28 minutes on such a difficult day.
Running (and for me, cycling and swimming, too) helped me get through my divorce too, so this post really struck a chord with me. For me, I remember swimming and being so thankful for goggles and the fact that my face was in the water most of the time because I was just crying as I swam. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been though. but working out helped me keep my sanity.
meredith @ Cookie ChRUNicles
Why are we always on the same divorce wavelength with our posts? lol I wrote today about my anniversary and how it feels after divorce AND how running brings me through a lot of thoughts and feelings. Last week I just kept running through my feelings and it just felt so good! It’s such therapy when we don’t even realize it and somehow, we get through the really really hard stuff and keeping with our favorite routine (running) for sure helps. I don’t know how I got through so many of the moments that I did with the divorce but you and I both are stronger because of it.
Sally @ sweat out the small stuff
Running is a release. There’s no doubt about it. Also there is something so cathartic about the rhythm and the moving forward aspect. I’ve shared this before but I discovered running through a coworker after my husband died. I became Sally the runner more than Sally the widow. It helped give me a path to find myself as s single.
But lately I have been so burnt out from forced training that I lost that love. I’m looking forward to just getting back out there for the emotional lift and like you say the normalcy that those minutes of running give us.
I just recently lost my father from a 10 year battle with a degenerative illness. The days leading up to his death and the month since have been haunted with the image of what was a very tragic end. The moments I feel peace, or at least like myself usually come when I’m running. To be honest my relationship with running isn’t always healthy and it’s something I need to address (exercise addiction etc) but right now it keeps me sane and for that I’m truly appreciative. I think it’s a fine line in growing dependent on running and using it as a tool. I’m not sure how to strike the balance but I think you hit the nail on the head, it’s what makes life feel “normal” and there isn’t anything wrong with loving it for that reason simply. I’m sure that’s unnecessarily too much information, but honestly it felt good to get out. I’m glad you’re doing better now and I can’t wait to see ou nail that sub 3!
I’m sorry for the loss of your father. I’m glad your running has brought you peace… I hope you are able to get back to a good place with it.
Robyn @ Robyn's Livin' Life
That is such a great memory and really resonate with me. I was thinking about how I don’t necessarily run for fitness anymore- it is about a sense of normalcy and taking life into control. Some days my run (even when I am tired and cold and it is dark) is the most at peace I feel all day. It isn’t an option anymore- I need it. I love the zoning out moment.
I hope other people find something that does this for them as well.
There have been times that running has been like a friend to me that helps me cope. There have been so many times that I’ve left the house, unsure about something, and through running, have come home with an answer to whatever problem I was having at the time. It’s been a life saver and a sanity saver! Running now gives me some alone time-crucial for a new mom!
A couple years ago I went through a VERY difficult time and the only thing I could think to do was run. I remember a particular half marathon during that time and while it certainly wasn’t a PR (not eating due to stress is not exactly the best race fueling method), I sweat it out for 13 miles and almost felt a little relief of pain for a while. Stick with what works!
Laura @ This Runner's Recipes
Graduate school was a hard time for me. I lived hours away from my family and now-husband, and I was one of two girls in my program. I encountered a lot of sexism: being left out of opportunities, being told that as a woman I wasn’t cut out for the program, and hearing gossip from my peers that they thought I only got good grades “because the professors felt bad for me for being a girl.” Running provided me with an stress release and a daily source of strength to just keep working hard and keep my head up each day.
I love your take on vegetarian tacos – I will have to give them a try!
Melissa @ girlchasingpavement
Girl, you are so strong. Thanks for sharing your story. A lot of time bloggers can come of as having a “perfect” life because we can pick and choose what we post. It is brave of you to share such personal insights. Thanks…you are awesome!
Thank you for this post. This couldn’t have come at a better time.
Thank you so much for this post! I cannot agree more about every word you wrote– these are all of the reasons why I continue to run. Throughout life’s highs and lows, the one stable thing in my life has been running. Have a great run today!
This post hits so close to home for me also. I was in a similar situation 5 years ago. Only I started running when I was going through everything. It is amazing the weight that is lifted off your shoulders while you are out there running. Running allowed me to get away from everything and leave the emotions behind me for a bit each day. When I was finished with my run I had the energy to deal with everything again.
Yes! Totally in agreement – running has been the ultimate way to get through another heartbreak – when I couldn’t be in my own home or really my own head because of the memories, I ran. But now I’m injured and can’t even run a mile right now, and I haven’t built up other coping skills to deal with life stressors…
I don’t run (love running blogs though!) but I feel the same way about yoga. I had a day a few years ago when my job was cut from full time to part time, I had been sobbing all day worrying how I would get through it. I went to yoga class, stood at the top of my mat, took a deep breath, and knew that everything would be ok.
I am not as much a runner as I am a yogi. Started going to a studio near my house and it brought me through some of the darkest times. I had a new job in a new city, months later I got dumped, work was so hard, no friends… Yoga was always there for me and gave me something to look forward to and improve in. I could cry during class or just lay there or bust out crazy moves and no one would know or care.
Great post. Your words resonate with many people, myself included. I too have been through something similar. Life is hard. No doubt about it. You are a strong woman and a fantastic role model for your daughter.
A lot of people tend to think that running at a time like that means you’re trying to run away from your problems. In reality it helps you work through them. I think the reason I love running so much from the beginning is because it gave me a chance to break from my depression that I’ve struggled with from a very young age. It made me feel like I could do something right. I could do something for me. But as I’ve grown and kept running its been a way to not only fight depression but it’s also a thought process, a healing process, something fun to do and new goals to reach.
I agree, people often ask me what I’m running from. I tell them I’m not running from anything! I’m running to hope, to joy, to new goals and a life where I can say I lived and didn’t let my problems get the better of me!
Kelly in Canada
It has been a while since I’ve commented here, mostly because I stopped running for a few months for no good reason. Now, in the midst of a fall that has been very difficult professionally (I’m a teacher and I just changed schools/grades/curriculum so am basically relearning my job) I am having a very hard time coping. I still read your blog every day though, and especially today I just want to say thank you for reminding us that running can be that escape when we are vulnerable. I needed to hear that today.
Angie @ Pace With Grace
Thanks for your honesty, Janae. Running has helped me in many of the same ways. My husband and I experienced a very difficult loss at the beginning of this year that left us both reeling. Some days all I could think to do was go for a run and just let me feelings go. Running was my way to process my pain and sadness while looking to God for strength and understanding. I am very thankful for running as it provides so much more than just fitness.
I can only imagine how much peace and normalcy that run brought you Janae. You are truly a strong individual and I’m proud of you for everything you’ve been through and overcame.
Oh that girl of yours! She is too cute!
I think you’re dead on about the running through tough stuff. I am not a great runner, but realized during an injury, and more recently during the serious illness/hospitalization of my baby, when I can’t run it greatly impacts my mental health. I still haven’t been able to start running again, and often think to myself, “I’d even love to run on a treadmill!!!!” And I can’t stand the treadmill, one of the reasons I don’t have one.
Thank you for your transparency. I can’t imagine it’s easy sharing some of these things, but I know it’s helpful to more than just me!
Brianna @ I run He tris
I love this post, thanks for sharing! I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to be so many different things at once. Wife, mom to two small boys, business owner, etc. so finding the time to run has been a struggle. Carving that time out of the day for just me is such a stress reliever. While I’m running everything else does seem to fall away! Plus, once I’m done with a good run I feel like I can tackle the world!
Marissa @ Run Riss Run
Sometimes running is the only normal thing in my life. I have run through tragedy. I have sobbed while running. Running can be emotionally freeing. I have also run through anger, and it’s amazing how much of that anger melted away throughout my run.
Random question: what North face jacket is that and where did you get it? I need one!
You are so strong! Thank you as always for your openness and honesty.
Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious
I have definitely been in your shoes running through my emotions. That’s one of the reasons why I feel so sad right now because I haven’t been able to run in over a year due to injury. In some way I’m happy I found other forms of fitness to replace it. In curious what would be your outlet it you physically could not run anymore?
Jill @ RunEatSnap
I feel you! I am struggling lately not being able to run due to knee pain and it’s not wonder I’ve been in an emotional funk. Lifting weights just doesn’t give me the same joyous feelings that running does.
What a beautiful post. I started running to deal with my sister’s anorexia and now I run to promote self esteem in women.
Thanks for sharing the butternut squash recipe. It looks amazing!
same thing here with my sister…its such a horrific disease. even though i ran before she got really bad, it continues to help me deal with the stress of it all. its been so many years of this illness, and its so hard, mostly on my mom. the destruction is devastating.
i’m with you on promoting self esteem and love!
many prayers to your family. i know how awful it is.
My 17 year old daughter is going through a really tough time. Things became particularly difficult and scary the week before I ran the Chicago Marathon. I felt so guilty that my baby was in such pain and so helpless that I couldn’t make it go away. It was all I thought about. Those hours I spent running the marathon gave me a needed break from my emotions. For those 4 hours 23 minutes and 15 seconds all I thought about was my pace, what mile I was on, how my body felt, and who was cheering. I didn’t think about anything else. My body may have been in pain when I crossed the finish line, but a huge weight had been temporarily lifted.
I will pick some of that peppermint Jo Jo’s up for both of us!! Love this post. Here are two yummy recipes for you to try. love ya!
The Zucchini taco is a family favorite but a little labor intensive. Xoxoxo
My brother died in May. I got up and ran 10 miles the morning we drove to Colorado for his funeral. Partly because I had a training plan I wanted to stick to but also because I knew it would make me feel better. Music and running are very good for the soul. I ran and thought about him, about life. I cried, I cursed, but I also smiled thinking of the good memories. I will never forget that run.
Amanda B @ Cupcakes & Miles
Running has always been an outlet for me. It helps me to cope with stress and anxiety; if I have a bad day at work, I know running is always there for me.
The non-runners in my life find it so weird when I get back from a great run and can’t stop talking about how fun it was. Running is fun?! Yes! Yes, it is.
Yes, exactly. Running lets me have some normal in my day after sitting with my husband through doctor visits, tests, operations and chemo. I can have some time to take care of me, be outside and not focus on anything besides my breathing and form. Some people think I’m crazy when I run after a hard day but others tell me to stick with it because it helps.
I signed up for my first marathon shortly before my fiance completely blindsided me and called off our wedding… only to later find out he also had a new girlfriend. While some days it even takes meeting someone out for a run to hold me accountable running is one of the few things that gives me a sense of normalcy. Thank you for sharing your reasons and for this post!
Running has just been my sanity. No specifics that I can pin point but I always feel better after a run even if its good or bad.
Those brownies and ice cream look so good I want to eat them together for dinner tonight!
I can’t count the amount of times I cried uncontrollably while running when I was dealing with my son’s uncontrolled seizures and ultimate brain surgery. Running was a huge outlet!
It’s been 4 days since I was told my marriage was over. I have been praying everyday for some sort of guidance. In all this somehow I felt wrong for still wanting to run and take that time for myself. Thank you for sharing this today. Even if we are total strangers it’s nice to connect with someone in some way right now.
Running is definitely a huge help during tough times. The stress in my life right now revolves around college classes and exams. So many people opt to skip the workout and study more, but I’ve found that taking that time to go on a run makes the time I do study much more productive. After the run I feel focused and energized, and for the time I’m on the road I don’t have to worry about the next test or homework. Thanks for sharing :)
I love that you chose to be vulnerable and I hope your words are met with love and respect from all of us! I went through a divorce too. But the stress of that never even touched the pain I felt when Andrew was in the hospital (he got diagnosed with bipolar disorder last year) and I had all 6 kids by myself. During that time while he was being treated, my dad had a major stroke and lost the function of his right side and he was in a different hospital an hour away. And THEN? My middle son broke his arm at school, and I had to go to yet ANOTHER hospital. I kept running through all of this. I ran through my oldest son in the psych ward, I ran through it all because of exactly what you said, and I’m crying while I’m typing this, running makes me feel like it’s the one part of my life that hasn’t turned upside down. The one part of me that clears my head and gives me perspective. It puts emotional energy in the bank, so to speak and when I get home, I have that much more energy to cope.
The day after my dad unexpectedly died, I went out for a run. Between the cold air and my crying throughout the run, I remember sort of choking down my breath as I ran. But it was SO therapeutic.
I appreciate your honesty in these blog posts. It’s real and it makes you human. Thank you for sharing.
Running is therapy. Last week I was switching schools in the middle of report card time and it wasn’t fun – I managed to go on a couple of runs and was amazed at how much better I felt afterwards.
Every time I see Trader Joes stuff I get sad :-( Silly TJ’s being so far away
I have been through a lot of loss and grief in my life. I lost my mom when I was 22, I had 2 miscarriages, an abusive spouse, divorce, subsequent eating disorders, depression and other multiple health concerns. Sometimes when I look back I’m not sure how I made it through those years.
Then I discovered running. I found emotional and physical strengths I didn’t know I had. I found an outlet for my stress, sometimes using that time as an “out” – not thinking about anything; and other times using it to really focus on an issue and sometimes that was when I would come up with a simple solution to something that may have been overwhelming at other times.
Then, last March, running got me through the last few weeks of my sister’s life due to cancer :(. Then it also got me through the weeks after she passed. I ran up hills until I was nauseous, I ran in the dark so people wouldn’t see me cry. I ran fast, I ran slow. None of it was pretty, but it was exactly what I needed then.
5 months later when her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident and my niece and nephews were left orphaned – and I lost a very close life long friend – nothing about anything seemed real at that point. Again, running was my one true outlet. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. Whatever I needed, I did.
Wow, talk about oversharing!! Putting that all in writing (for other people to see) is almost as therapeutic as running!
These days I’m not able to run due to an old back injury, but I still use fitness as a stress reliever. So for right now, until I can run again, my swimming and my time on the elliptical are my outlets. Oh yeah, and my therapist :)
Even after all of this, I still manage to stay positive and am very grateful for all that is good in my life. And there is a lot of good. I raised two girls on my own who are turning out to be truly amazing young ladies. I have a successful career and have my own house and independence and am free from most of the negativity of my past.
So the moral of my very long winded story is – when you are having hard times and you are able – GO RUN!!
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story! I so often feel like my life is just one tragedy after another and because most of it I can’t really talk about, I feel really alone. Reading your story reminds me that I’m not alone, and that there is hope and renewal and all that good stuff. <3 Much love to you.
Thanks Suzy – it’s hard to put yourself out there – as you well know, but I believe it helps.
I love your blog too! Fellow Canadian runner over here :)
I loved this blog! Gosh – I feel like running saved me a million times. It’s how I cope with my anxiety. I really got into it more after I had surgery and treatment for stage 4 cancer and then got divorced. I was blessed enough to beat it. So, once I was feeling better I signed up for a half marathon and then panicked! Running is hard for me, I am a slow runner but I love how it feels to finish a race. And it always reminds me that I am alive – and I am grateful and lucky to be here !
Running is such therapy…if I hadn’t run through the hard times – I likely would have turned to alcohol or food.
Running has helped me through my husband’s diagnosis of leukemia.
Running has helped me through losing my best friend and running partner. She was beautiful and could run for days and when I lost her, I cried through every run for 6 months.
Running helped me through losing my aunt. She was my heart and her loss was quick and unexpected.
I owe a lot to running. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing! Running has been like that for me since seventh grade. Can’t figure out this paper in college? Run. Feeling stressed about a relationship issue? Run. Suddenly my head feels clear, and so does the next step – it’s so crazy. And the endorphins aren’t half bad either ;-) When I can’t run because of injuries, missing out on this is actually the hardest part for me to deal with. Have you found something else that clears your head in a similar way when you’re injured? I’m still trying to figure that one out….no such thing as an elliptical high in my world =)
Kristen @ Glitter and Dust
Thank you for sharing such a personal side of your life, Janae. I started running in 2006 right after I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer. I needed an outlet and running helped me cope. Even on the toughest days when all I wanted to do was cry, I would lace up my shoes and find some peace as I ran out the door. Running saved me from depression and despair. I actually ran my first marathon less than a year after his death in his memory and haven’t stopped running since. Now every time I race, I picture him running next to me cheering me on. He is always with me.
Rachel @ Simply Rachel Nicole
Janae you are amazing and I couldn’t agree more that running helps so much through difficult times! I haven’t been through divorce, but I can think of so many times in my life when I was struggling for one reason or another, and going for a run each day helped me have the energy to get through the day and I had that short amount of freedom from thought while I ran.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story… it’s stories like yours and like those in the comments that remind us that we are all walking (running) our own journey, but our paths are much the same. Running gives us that connection to bring us all together, and it gives us time to be alone with our thoughts as well.
I started running after my husband and I separated. I needed something that felt like mine and that would help me deal with all the stress, anxiety and pain that I was feeling. Initially, I was coping in very unhealthy ways and since I have started running, I haven’t looked back to my prior unhealthy coping mechanisms. Running has been so healing for me, in so many ways!
I so agree that running during tough times doesn’t fix anything but it brings you back to yourself and can provide tremendous peace! That is some story about meeting with your divorce attorney and then going out for a run, you’re a strong woman!!!
Life in general is stressful lately— nursing school/husbands crazy hours/bringing up twin 1.5 year olds. It’s hard to always find time or even make time to run but when I do, it just feels right. Like you said, I usually feel stressed as soon as I get back and tend to the multiple tasks waiting for me but it helps in that moment and I need it!
I think it’s awesome that your mom and brothers were with you! Such great family support.
No matter how down I get and how little of the everyday things I accomplish, I feel like if I get a few runs a week in then I’m not completely loosing it. Maybe I am….but running sure helps!
Thank you so much for sharing the last bit you did today. I’m in a very new (to me), but similar boat these days, and it’s comforting knowing you’ve made it through to a much better place. Some days it doesn’t feel like it’ll get any better, and I feel so low. I usually run at night and like last night, it brought so much peace. I could just push myself and not deal with the feelings (for a short time ;).
Running has always helped me put things in perspective. When my dad got sick, I started using my running time to pray for him. When he died, I often cried while I ran but running helped me feel like things would be alright again someday.
Wow, incredible stories! Love and hugs to all the readers.
Running also helped me tremendously through my divorce. Thanks for posting this Janae. XO
I think running helps so much because we are removed from the bad/painful situation even when it’s just a little while. After my Dad passed away in 2013, every time the phone rang for months I expected it to be him. I could run and not feel that pain, because he was never on my runs with me.
Running is such a gift! It has genuinely brought me back to myself. I was never an athlete growing up, so I feel SO GRATEFUL to have discovered running later in life! Thank you for sharing your journey xo
When I was going through a miscarriage and grieving my baby, running didn’t help at all. I actually got into my own head when I was out there alone and would double up sobbing after keeping it together all day for everyone else. I started to hate running because it was the only time I let my guard down enough to feel what I was going through and it hurt too bad. It took a while to get back into a place that being on my own was okay.
The day both of my twins were diagnosed with autism was the worst day of my life. Sitting in the paediatrician’s office with my husband getting a pretty grim and uncertain prognosis of their future was the worst moment of my life. A therapy called applied behaviour analysis saved us all I think and I thank God for the amazing people who turned their lives around.
Your running story made me cry. Running helps me find balance, it comforts me, and reminds me every day that I am stonger than I think. Beautiful post. My Little has the same furry vest. She likes to pet it like it’s our cat. Every girl needs a little fabulousness in their life. Happy running!
It has really been completing races that has given me the best gift from running. I am not where I want to be in life career-wise but during that runner’s high following a race I have an extreme amount of confidence that I can tackle anything. It is always the best time for me to job hunt when I have that confidence that I am worthy of having a job that suits my passions.
I had been dating my then boyfriend, now husband for about ten months when we decided to break up. It was the most mutual of all my breakups and I felt like it was the best and only option at the time, but I was still REALLY sad. And the whole thing was almost comical because we were part of the same group of friends, had many of the same interests, and he lived quite literally a stone’s throw from my front door. Running was something that was, and has always been, all mine. I’ve only run with others sporadically, so running alone has always afforded me a comfort. It was a place where I could just be ME, not me attached to someone else. JUST me. It has been that place where I can come back to myself if I am in any sort of conflict. I can just follow the rhythm of my body and let it be. So after the breakup my runs became extremely comforting. I got through it, eventually we got back together–which was NOT part of my master plan!!!–, and now we have three kids… so… running through challenges doesn’t BRING the light on the other side, but it certainly chases away the darkness within.
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been a runner most of my life and have run through tough times like many others. I also ran through a divorce and like you, it gave me a sense of normalcy. No matter what chaos was going on, I knew I could and would run every day. It provided some much needed stability.
running is therapeutic for me too! you’re a great role model for your daughter….she will be a strong lady watching her mom conquer so much
Travelled to be present and help my oldest daughter for a month for my grand daughters birth while planning a wedding that had just been announced before I left for my youngest daughter in three months. My father passed away the week before I was due home. Travelled to his funeral and packed up all his belongings between my three sisters. Had a premature grand son born two days before said wedding and watched my youngest move with her husband to Holland. Through it all I ran, and ran some more. Not sure how in my exhaustion but it kept me sane. LOVE the photos of you and your daughter.
You are amazing and your readers are amazing. Loved this post and all of your incredible comments.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I love that you point out that keeping with running can be that one thing that is normal. The bookends around the run may be crumbling, but a run is made and controlled by the runner only, so it can stay consistent!
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me
This new Rolo + Brownie combination appeals to me. Must try. Will report back.
Also, LOVE your leggings in that professional shot!
Janae, I love your blog. I don’t comment that often but I have been a loyal reader for some time now. I love how committed you are to running and you are such a great mom to Brooke and you are so open and honest, which I love.
Running is ALWAYS there for me (and you and all other runners.) When I am sad, happy, frustrated, depressed, everything. It’s there for me. It never turns its back on me, it is always waiting for me, even when I abandon it for awhile for whatever reason. It provides pure relaxation and freedom in this crazy chaotic world we live in and I love that. So glad that it was able to help you through such a difficult time.
The summer and last 6 months of 2014 were probably the hardest months of my life. I had been dating my ex-boyfriend for about a year. We broke up, and he got engaged 3 weeks later, and married 5 weeks after that. I didn’t find out he was engaged, let alone even dating someone until he told me 2 weeks before they got married (He had been telling me how much he loved and missed me etc. the entire time, even though he was engaged. Yeah d-bag.) Needless to say it was the biggest shock of my life and extremely hard for me, because it had only been a few weeks and I still loved him. I was also laid off from my job that same week he told me he was engaged, so I had A LOT of time on my hands; which was dangerous because it was a lot of idle time for my mind. Running became my only sanity during that time because I was literally and figuratively “running” from my problems :) It gave me time to cry and think and pray and really pour my heart out to Heavenly Father; all by myself. Running was a time I could just be ME. It also helped put things into perspective a ways down the road, and made me realized that my ex didn’t deserve me anyway ;)
In 2013 it was my first year teaching, had just bought a house and my husband (boyfriend at the time) was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I ran because it was something we always had done together and one thing in my life that I could control. He is in remission now and we’re still running together. :) running is such cheap therapy in tough times! Thanks for blogging- I really enjoy reading it!
Your post hit home today, as my family and I begin to mourn the loss of our beloved dog that just passed away. While I was too weak and fatigued to try to run this morning after being unable to eat or sleep yesterday, I know that my evening run will help me to get away from the sadness and newfound-silence of our home and I’m looking forward to lacing up my sneakers tonight.
I love what you wrote. Both about your running through trials AND that candy can jo jo ice cream. I need that stuff. Like, yesterday.
Cheri @ Overactive Blogger
You have such a wonderful loving family. I heard you when you spoke about running helping you have a least a little normalcy that day (and I completely get that!), but what really got me, was that your mom and brothers went with you to file. That is so lovely. You are very lucky to have so many people love an support you.
YEP! I had to put my dog to sleep last week and didn’t have time to even prepare for it. The day after I needed to go out and clear my head. It was pouring rain and freezing – it was the run of my life! I will never ever forget that run!
Jill @ RunEatSnap
A bad breakup is what got me started in running. As a co-worker of mine (a strength coach who hates running) said to me when I told him why I started running, “runners are usually running away from something”. I never thought about it that way! Running was the only thing that made me feel better and once I started running, I lost weight and realized how important nutrition was for running and athletic performance and that prompted me to go back to school to become a dietitian. Due to that, I found my passion in life (running AND nutrition), moved across the country (to Utah!) for grad school, met my boyfriend who I love very much, and have had many great experiences living in new places and meeting new people. I still love running when I’m in a good place in life but it definitely helps me the most when I’m feeling sad, angry, upset, etc. In the words of Elle Woods, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy…” :)
Thank you. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.
great post, and so true. you really are an inspiration, and i love how you remind us to be grateful, appreciate our bodies and what they do, and just smile.
its not as intense as others situations, but running has gotten me through so much stress and anxiety with school, various moves and cities, jobs, but more importantly, my Mima’s death and my sister’s illness. and ya know, just crappy days!
ps–that running pic of you is awesome :)
Your post couldn’t have come at a better time. My family has been going through the roller coaster of receiving a lung cancer diagnosis for my aging dad. We first thought he was going through a progression of his diabetic condition, but that his diabetes would actually turn out to be the lesser of two evils. So many tests, waiting, PET scans, more waiting.
Running has been my saving grace through it all. I actually did not run for a 2 week period because of other responsibilities, and having one too many things on my plate that I had to deal with…and I was desperate to get a run in to gain that sense of calm and normalcy. Getting in the “zone” enabled me to think through everything with such amazing clarity and positivity.
Last year, I was training for my very first half marathon. The race was labor day weekend. Mid-July, my boyfriend and I found out we were pregnant. I was scared out of my mind, but so excited about the new journey my life would take. My training slowed down a little. About a 2 weeks before the race, I started miscarrying. It was the most painful and horrifying moment of my life. I was in bed for days. I felt lost and didn’t know how to continue. I felt like my heart had shattered. I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to run or race or face anyone. When my body stopped hurting and I could get out of bed, I just put on my shoes and went to a trail I always go to, almost unconsciously. I just started moving forward. Throughout the miles, I had a million break downs. I just wanted to fall in the dirt, but I kept going. I showed up at the race even though I knew I hadn’t kept up my training, my body had just gone through the painful experience, and my heart was completely broken… I just did it. Most of the race was hard to get through, and I just started crying several times throughout the race. But I just kept going forward. And I kept telling myself… “I can do hard things.” And I did. Running was all I could grasp. Though it can never replace what I lost, it somehow kept me going when I didn’t want to keep going.
I began running after my first boyfriend and I broke up. I went to buy a textbook for uni one day and the transaction declined which was odd as I barely used the account. Turned out he’d had a gambling addiction and cleared my account. We lived together at the time and between us had no money as he had spent my savings after getting access to my debit card. I was not in a good place afterwards and beat myself up a lot for being so naïve. My GP recommended I start regular exercise for the psychological benefit. I had never been very sporty in highschool but the endorphins, mental clarity and calmness afterwards made me feel much better about myself and my situation. That was 6 years ago and now I’ve completed 5 half marathons and 1 marathon. While what I went through was incredibly painful I wouldn’t change it as it’s made me fall in love with the best thing ever; running.
I love reading your posts for their honesty and emotional rawness, it’s nice to be able to relate even when our situations are quite different :)
Divorce is hard. Mine will be finalized next month. Without running I don’t know where I would be right now mentally. My family has never been close so I lack in the support system. My friends are great but its not something I try to talk about often. So when I can go out and put miles in…the pain, the struggle (I have 3 kids), the changes (new schools and state) all of it for a short time is better. My kids find me stronger, my friends find me smiling more and me, well I see it when I look in the mirror. What I have lived through, what I have gained, and the bright future that lies ahead. Without running though I am just not sure if I would have all of that.
í ½í¸í ½í¸ nice read https://couchhealthandfitness.wordpress.com/
[email protected] My Miles
My blog actually started from writing about how running was helping me deal with life stressors. I think it can help us get through difficulties but also life events that make us happy but also anxious due to them being major life changes. Love when we get a glimpse of your inner world. You’re a great person!!!
I also had a marriage that exploded, when my son was 11 weeks old, followed by a very painful divorce, and I WISH I had been a runner back then…it would have helped so much. I didn’t start running until I was on the mend from the divorce and dating my now husband (me becoming a runner was his idea :) ). But it helped me tremendously through studying for my medical subspecialty boards which was extremely stressful. Now I run to help me combat my tendency for anxiety, and it works. :)
Thank you for sharing. Hearing how running helps others only reaffirms for me why it’s the best sport in the world. It’s completely changed my life. It helped me crawl out from under my eating disorder, it helped me become healthier mentally and physically, it gives me peace when my mind is racing…I don’t think of running as a replacement for therapy but it can be incredibly therapeutic!
I dated a not so perfect for me guy for 4 years. I ran ALOT. I didn’t realize until I was out of the relationship that when I was running my brain was begging for a break from the stress the relationship constantly gave me. I am now with my forever person and I find that when I am running my thoughts are so completely different. I wonder what I can think about because it is not replaying some fight or argument (but obviously winning in my head). Running / weight lifting is my me time. I am glad you were able to get through your divorce with your head high. Good things come to good people, your person will be there and one day it will all my sense. My FAVORITE quote is framed in my house for that very reason.
You may not see it today or tomorrow
but you will look back in a few years
and be absolutely perplexed and awed by
how every little thing added up
and brought you somewhere wonderful
or where you always wanted to be
you will be grateful that things didn’t work out
the way you one wanted them to.
What a great post. I run for the same reasons. I’ve always been a runner but I didn’t start really concentrating on it and doing it consistently until I was dealing with some major life changes and wanting to do something that made me feel normal again. My life change was a happy one in that it was after the birth of my son. But for other first time moms, it can be a scary place, and I battled with post-partum and found running to really pull me through that because it gave me what I craved, a sense of normalcy. One other thing- the other post with the pictures-the pictures are so nice you girls look so pretty.
I have been thinking about your question ever since I read your post, I knew I wanted to comment but wasn’t sure if I was ready. Running pulled me out of my darkest hour (actually months) when I had a miscarriage in June. We had just signed up for our first marathon when I found out I was expecting. I decided since this was going to be my first full marathon, it wouldn’t be smart to push it. 6 weeks later I lost the baby. There were times when I didn’t know how I was going to get out of bed or breathe again. I decided I had to find something else to focus on, so I decided to move forward with the marathon. There were days when I couldn’t stand the thought of eating, but I knew that if I wanted to run, and do it the right and healthy way I needed to eat. Running, and the endless miles spent with friends helped me to move forward as best I could, I don’t know what I would have done with out it. It helped me to see my body as strong when I hated it so much for losing the baby. It gave me the freedom to cry without anyone seeing me, to think about things and find a new goal, that wouldn’t replace my dream, of being a mum but help me through until the time is right. With each step forward in a run, I too was moving forward. We did the marathon, something I never thought I would do. It is that spirit that helps me to believe that I my body is capable of anything, and when the time is right it will be ready for a baby.
The Hungry Runner Girl
Thank you for sharing Lisa. Your story gave me goosebumps. You are incredible and I am so happy that you had running to help you move forward.
thanks for opening up and sharing this — running and working out are so therapeutic. i’m really trying to get into yoga/meditation lately too, but i’m not there yet. our minds deserve the same care as our bodies!
Love the jacket holding!