And I thought today was going to be a really rough day…

So today was/is? (I have a hard enough time with grammar let alone adding a sticky situation into the mix) my anniversary.  

When I first left California and filed for divorce I knew I had a tough road ahead of me.  After I got through the fog and craziness of those first few months I knew that certain days were still just going to be hard, i.e. holidays, when Brooke was gone and other dates like my anniversary.  That was over 9 months ago now and I actually don’t feel sad at all today (added bonus is that post race high sticks around for a while for me;).

IMG 0949

If anything, I feel a lot of gratitude today.

-To be living in Utah, with my family and people I have known for decades.  To be living in my parents’ basement where I feel loved and for the help they offer me and Brooke on a daily basis.   

-For Brooke and the light she is in my world.

-To know what I know now (and not 20 years down the road) and to have zero regrets about my decisions.

-For my faith and prayer.

-For my incredible internet bffs that have supported me so much during this time with love, comments and emails that have really meant the world to me.  Who knew that writing a blog about candy and running shoes would bring me these amazing friendships?!?

So thanks.  Thanks for helping me get through this rough patch and if you ever need my help/love/support, I am just one email away:)  

“It’s always darkest before the dawn”——>  Yep.  

You May Also Like

140 comments

Reply

So glad to hear you’re doing well, Janae!
xo

Reply

So happy to hear that :).

Reply

Go girl :-)

Reply

I hope you make more beautiful memories on 5/5 and find a reason to celebrate everyday :)

Reply

I think this calls for a singing of I will survive, but then I always think that song is appropriate.

Reply

With life’s greatest testings come life’s greatest blessings :). I cannot even begin to know what you are going/went through, but I do not that God see’s the whole picture and everything serves a purpose that we may not see until a way later time. :)
I am so glad you had such a great race to give you that super awesome runners high!!!!! I am also glad you are able to focus on the blessings :)…way to be positive!

Reply

So glad to hear you had a good day!

Reply

Your doing amazing Janae! Lots of love.

Reply

I’ve been thinking about you today. I’m so glad that you are having a great day. <3

Reply

It’s my anniversary today too. But my husband is in China.
I love your positive attitude. Lots of things would be even harder without faith and prayer.

Reply

You rock! I hope you enjoy some tacos and loads of yummy guacamole today because you’ve got this! :)

Reply

I literally was just driving home and was going to send you an e-mail that said “thinking of you.”
Did not know if you would post about it, but since you did I will comment saying thinking about you, but happy to hear you met today with peace in your heart. Love you, enjoy some Mexican food with people who make you laugh tonight.

Reply

You are doing amazing! I have been divorced now for a few years but my anniversary still comes and I acknowledge it simply because I was a pretty bride and had a wonderful wedding, decent marriage until it went wrong and the best part- my son.

Reply

This post brought me goosebumps. So happy for you that you are at this place in your life. God bless you and your wonderful family! :)

Reply

You are incredible & such an inspiration! I cannot imagine what you have went through but I know it has never been easy. You’ve shown how each situation in life is honestly all about perspective. Thank you for being such a fun part of my days, I love reading your blog!

Reply

:) you are so uplifting and positive! You truly make my day..I look forward to your posts so much.
It’s awesome to hear you’re in a good place with love and support.
I hope you’re having some awesome mexican food today!!

Reply

You go girl!!! There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Time heals all wounds

Reply

You are so awesome! Stay strong janae!! ❤️

Reply

You have an awesome outlook on life!! Sounds like you have a great thing going for you there in Utah :)

Can’t argue with that runner’s high either~ gotta love that! Headed off to get my own here shortly…

God Bless~

Reply

You’ve been so strong and inspiring through all of this janae… Please know that! Never lose faith!

Reply

Your outlook is amazing… Of course we never want things like this to happen, but how you have responded to the situation and held your class is so commendable. Hope this is the best Cinco de Mayo you’ve had in a while :)

Reply

Thinking of you today! :)

Reply

Love the positivity in this post! I am so glad to hear that you’re doing so well! Time heals all wounds :)

Reply

LOVE YOU and proud of you. Can we celebrate our meeting-in-person anniversary this fall? :)

Reply

Progress. Lighter and brighter days. And a beautiful daughter. :)

Reply

Happy it was not as rough as anticipated! It’s cheesy, but I swear “time heals all wounds.”

Reply

You rock! My friend and I read your blog and downloaded Shake It Out bc of you. We both love it and it is definitely one of my top choice running songs!

Reply

I truly cannot believe how fast the last several months have gone by. I’ve read your blog nearly every day for the past few years (which I can literally only say for two bloggers since we all started around the same time) but you really have showed your true character through this entire process Janae. Many people could give in, throw low punches or create drama, etc but you haven’t.

I know it’s none of my concern but I’m always here to chat. You are awesome Janae and keep on keeping on. So many people look up to you.

Reply

Well technically you are celebrating correctly now, seeing how Cinco de Mayo – is all about celebrating independence!!! :)

Reply

I’m trying to embrace gratitude in my life too. Thanks for always being a bright spot in my day!

Reply

Haha i love that you boiled it down to candy and running shoes. That’s perfect :) Thank you to you for brightening my day every time I read your blog. I really feel like I’m checking in with a friend.

Reply

You are such a positive person and have handled yourself with nothing but grace throughout the past few months. I LOVE your blog and get such inspiration from you. Great job yesterday!!

Reply

You are an amazing and strong woman! So happy you are enjoying today and living in the present.

Reply

I absolutely needed to read this post today. I can’t thank you enough.
I am so happy for you :)

Reply

<3

Reply

I’m so happy you’re in a better place than you were just a few months ago. And congrats on the fantastic run this weekend!

Reply

So glad to hear that you are having a great day! What a great attitude – you have an amazing support system!

Reply

So glad the hard days are getting easier for you. Now today can go back to being only Cinco de Mayo, go celebrate with some yummy Mexican food. Hang in there :-)

Reply

I have been reading your blog for a while, and as a fellow Utahn, i love reading about your racing-locally!! ;) recently i have been going through some hard times, i have filed for divorce recently and hearing about your situation makes me hopeful it will get better! So thank you for sharing what you have, it has really helped me try and get through this spot in my life!!

Reply

I am so happy to hear this!

I have shared this saying with so many people lately because it truly is my mantra when times get tough:
“I am not saying it’s going to be easy, I am saying it’s going to be worth it”.

You are living proof of that.

Blessings.

Reply

<3

Reply

Rock on, you incredible shining star :)

Sending you so much love!

Reply

You are amazing! I recently started reading your blog, and I can’t get enough! I recently went through a really tough breakup, and you are such an inspiration and a great reminder that everything will be okay. Thank you so much!

Reply

I’m sure it must be so hard. Always look forward, no looking back! You’re worth better and better will come to you.

Reply

There is a certain amount of peace that comes once you know on your heart you did everything you could. Divorce stinks and is hard especially with kids. The best thing I learned is your life is your story. You get to write your ending. Your marriage ending isn’t your end it’s just the beginning of a new chapter.

Reply

You are a classy lady. Team Janae all the way ;-) Blessings to you and your family.

Reply

So happy you’re happy :) we need to get together soon!
Side note: Brooke looks a ton like Curly in that picture

Reply

I thought that was curly for a second!

Reply

You really are incredible and inspire me everyday :) so glad you’re smiling today!! You deserve it.

Reply

I was thinking about u today and wondering if u would mention the old anniversary. Im so happy that u r doing well with it. Focusing on the positives in your life will always work! U r so right that its better u knew these things now instead of 20 years from now. I love your blog about candy and running shoes AND Brooke. Who knew this blog would end up being such a blessing for u? :)
I always call u my pretend bff (only because I dont know u in real life) and am happy to know u!

Reply

now if you can just get rid of those pictures of what’s his name……

Great attitude, better things are right around the corner!!!

WOW what a smile Brookers gave us

Reply

You’re wonderful Janae! I honestly look up to you so much, not only for your awesome running skills, but for your amazing attitude. Keep on smiling! You deserve to =)

Reply

This puts the biggest smile on my face! So happy you’re in a good place right now. Hugs!

Reply

You’re incredibly strong and it definitely shows! I’m glad you’re doing well and you have great friends and family to be there for you. You are also very lucky to have such a sweet and adorable daughter!

Reply

You are amazing! You continue to share your journey and I know it has to help others going through similar things.

Reply

You are (almost) twenty years younger than I am and I want to be you when I grow up. You have amazing perspective.

Reply

All good thoughts. My favorite is you have no regrets. You did the the Janae way. With grace and style. Nice job Baby.

Reply

This is so amazing Janae! I’m so happy that you’re happy :) make sure you treat yourself to a nice dinner tonight:)

Reply

This puts such a smile on my face knowing how AWESOME you are doing!! I am so happy for you!!

Reply

Faith and prayer definitely help in these tough times. It took incredible courage and trust in God to make that decision, and it’s great to see that God has also blessed you with so many people to give you the strength to get through it all :)

Reply

I thought about you today, and sent you extra hugs/prayers. So glad to hear it hasn’t been too hard. You’re amazing!!! <3

And you will continue to have a beautiful dawn (already are)!!

Reply

Your post made me tear up! So glad that you have so much love and support around you! Love the idea of choosing gratefulness over something negative. You’re awesome!

Reply

So proud of your strength! You amaze me, and I am so grateful for your blog!

Reply

Sending love your way. Just keep on keeping on!

Reply

You are just awesome…& a class act!

Reply

I’m often surprised at what anniversaries do and don’t upset me after my own lossess- I hope these days continue to go well for you! I’m glad you have so many awesome people in your life to help support you!

Reply

Lavaaaaaaaaa you, Janae!!!! Give Brookers a sloppy wet kiss for me!!

Reply

How wonderful! I wish you all the love, light and candy in the world. You deserve it!!

Reply

My sister and I always call you our BF from Utah- thank you for bringing light to our lives!

Reply

We all love you Janae!! :) You are such a sweet soul and I wish I lived in utah so we could actually hang out. I was thinking about you and praying for you today…so glad you have peace :)

Reply

You’re amazing and I love your positivity!!!

Reply

You have a great outlook! Hang in there–There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind- CS Lewis….that quote really helps me through though times!

Reply

You are awesome and have such a great heart! God bless you and Brooke – you both rock!

Reply

You rock Janae!!

Reply

So glad you are doing well, Janae! I know it’s been a very tough time for you. I hope it just continues to get easier!! xoxo

Reply

You got here today because of you and your perseverance to move forward and focus on what is most important. That takes guts. Sending lots of love to you today dear girl.

Reply

You are so positive and inspiring. And I agree, it really IS darkest before the dawn! (And who better to know that than early am runners) glad you are doing well :)

Reply

Your outlook on life has made me a more positive person. And your daily posts have made my days brighter while also making me think – about running, relationships, faith, and goals. Thank you!

Reply

It’s wonderful to hear that you’re moving forward in such a positive way. All the best to you and Brooke!

Reply

Janae, you inspire me more than you can ever realize.. Your words, your running, your every action is incredible. Thanks for your ever inspiring messages, for your hope and for always shining through with your positivity! You’re incredibly strong…please don’t ever stop being who you are ❤️

Reply

You are AWESOME!! :-)

Reply

Janae, I only know you through your blog, but you seem to be such an amazing, strong, independent woman. It is incredibly brave of you to share so much of your personal life with all of us. It’s funny, I don’t even REALLY know you, but everyday I look forward to reading about your adventures and seeing pictures of Brooke. Maybe it gives me comfort to know that there are other people out there just as goofy as me and my friends. It’s also so encouraging to see someone going through a difficult transition and still knowing how to laugh and enjoy all the other relationships in their life.
I’m so happy for you that you are happy and creating such a beautiful life, for yourself and for Brooke!

Reply

So glad today was a good day for you!! You are an inspiration and such a strong mom + woman!

Reply

Good for you independent woman!

Reply

I look forward to your blog every day, thanks for sharing your highs and lows with the world.

Reply

I am again so proud of you. I am so happy today has been happier than you expected. Please let me know where I can buy fresh (not hard and old) strawberry tootsies…please get to work on this.. ;)

Reply

virtual hugs! you’re a strong, inspiring woman who’s blog is the best :) head high, keep being so awesome!

Reply

So proud of you Janae! You are one of the greatest people I’ve “met” :) I don’t know what I’d do without my daily dose of HRG to find out about your day and of course see adorable Brooke. Much love!!

Reply

I am so glad your day isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. When I went through my terrible break-up, I thought I was never going to see the light of day again. I remember hating whenever anyone said, “Time heals all wounds.” I didn’t believe them. And then one day, I did. Because it didn’t hurt as much as it did. And then our anniversary rolled around and I hardly even noticed. Time is amazing. And so are good friends and amazing family. Oh, and really adorable daughters.

Reply

Love you times a bazillion!!!!!!!!

Reply

It would be easy to get down on life’s disappointments. But there’s always a reason to smile. (and sadly, there’s always someone in a much worse situation). I love that you’ve chosen to be happy. It’s one of the best life lessons you can give Brooke (she will be so proud of her mama when she’s old enough to understand — and in the meantime, she has a happy mama!). You’re awesome!

Reply

Yea Janae! Thanks for sharing your life with us. Way to make it through this tough year. You’re a great example.

And congrats on your race!

xo,
Kristin from AZ

Reply

Florence + The Machine – currently on repeat in my playlist. :)

Best wishes-you’re doing just fine!

Reply

I’m so glad today was a happy day for you! I cried when I found out you were getting a divorce…you are incredible and strong and have handled all of it beautifully!

Reply

Thank you for sharing your life, being real and for inspiring those around you to live healthy authentic lives. I really enjoy your blog and reading it has made me want to run and enjoy life to the fullest even more. Keep smiling and being awesome :)

xx susan

Reply

Wow Brooke just keeps getting cuter!! Yay for you! Keep moving in that positive direction :)

Reply

So happy for you and Brooke to be living your lives and surrounded by family : )

Reply

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it
up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the future.

Many thanks

Reply

You are so classy and strong. Such an inspiration! Keep being you!

Reply

good for you janae! you have SUCH a great attitude about life. you couldnt be more right about your comment about rather find out NOW than 20 yrs down the line. keeping on doing what youre doing… good things will come to you my dear!

Reply

I’m so glad you’re happy and had a good day!

Reply

Ahh! Beautiful. Another milestone janae! Love reading about your adventures and seeing you heal and grow and love life! Xoxo

Reply

You are handling this whole situation so great! Family and friends really are the best, and without faith and prayer I don’t know how any of us would get out of tough situations like this. I will be praying for you because I know times are still hard.

Reply

So happy you can always look at the bright side of things! I strive to have that positive out look that you have. Keep your head up and your heart open! Praying for you!

Reply

time is really the best way to heal any wounds.

Reply

Go Janae! Your positivity and strength are so good for you and Brooke! She has a great role model.

Reply

It makes me so happy to see you doing so well beautiful! Those certain tough days will always hold memories, but it’s time to create new ones :)

Reply

You rock Janae!

On my first anniversary after my divorce, my friends and I celebrated my “un-iversary.” Made what I thought was going to be a rough day not that bad!:)

Now, remarried with two princesses of our own, “that” date never crosses my mind.

Reply

You don’t know me but you are a huge inspiration. I read your blog religiously just to feed off of your positive energy and outlook on life. I think, “if she see the silver lining during some of her darkest days – I can, too.” Thank you.

Reply

I wish I had found your blog sooner… and I wish I lived in Utah. Keep on keeping on :)

Reply

I’m a long time reader who rarely comments, but I just have to let you know how much your blog has meant to me. I have an almost two year old son, pregnant with another, and just found out that my husband of 7 years has been having an affiar. I have spent the last week going back and reading all of your post-divorce posts, and they have been so inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing your life, including the incredibly hard times.

Reply

Please email me. I am truly so so sorry Beth.

Reply

My husband of 5 years, but together 10 had one too. Luckily or unluckily (depending on how you look at it) no kids. But also feel free to email me too. I have no one to talk to about this. ha ;-)

Reply

I am so happy to read how you are feeling. You are so strong Janae!

Reply

So great to hear. Yesterday was my ex’s birthday and that was hard to know this was the first year I wouldn’t be able to celebrate him. But good to know it all gets better. :-) Maybe once we file the official paperwork it will get better?! haha

Reply

Never lose faith! you have to keep going for little Brookers! :)

Reply

You have handled everything with such grace and I admire that. You are one strong lady, even when you don’t feel it. We all love you!

Reply

It has been 7 years since my divorce, my anniversary goes by and I don’t even think about it anymore.

Reply

So proud of you! Sending a great big hug to you! You’re AH-mazing girlie!

Reply

You rock girl! Way to stay strong. Sending you the biggest hugh ever. PS: I love the quote you used at the end. I listened to that strong for 3 miles straight during my evening run yesterday.

Reply

So happy for you! You can do hard things and come out ok, even a heck of a lot better than ok! You are a blessed and loved girl for sure.

Reply

yay for you and not feeling sad. you are sooo so so much better off! good riddance.

Reply

Cheers to you!!! :-)

Reply

You are seriously the toughest person I know!!! You rock it!

Reply

So glad you have such an amazing support network and beautiful little girl with you today. Thinking of you. <3

Reply

Janae~
I hope that calf eases up way before the race. 4:30 on elliptical–I remember when I used to do that :).. you sure you can hook me on running? Oh, and eat a donut! Not like you’re not burning calories even in your sleep :)… So presh to know that Brook fell asleep beside you, just when you needed it too… Let’s talk again soon and work out details for the interview :) .. let me know if you’re still wanting to go for that! We could ask your fans what they might want me to ask you and pick 5 of those questions or something. Give me a ring when you have a sec ! Loves, K

Reply

Good for you Janae! I know it is weird since I have never met you but I am virtually cheering you on like crazy. Not just your running but in your rough times too. You’ll make it through!

Reply

Thanks for sharing your life with us, good and bad. You truly are an inspiration!

Reply

You are so sweet, Janae. Glad to hear it was a good day. Thanks for the reminder on gratitude. I forget that one sometimes.

Reply

You are amazing.. I admire your heart. Anyone would be blessed to call you friend!

Reply

I’m so glad you have no regrets about it, and of course that you’re happy. You’re a STRONG woman. Brooke is cuter every day.

Reply

I love your honesty, Janae!! I think it’s what makes you so lovable (ok, and your knowledge on the best sour patch kids to get ;)). I can only imagine how different these sort of days must feel to you now, but that’s ok. Different is good :).

Reply

Just saw this post. Love your positivity! This blog is way more than candy and running shoes! Love your humor and encouragement. You’re a strong woman.

Reply

That is awesome that you have so much gratitude about all the good things in your life. It is easy to get hung up on the negative but taking the time to realize all the positive is so much more productive.

Reply

I had no idea May 7th was your anniversary. Today would be mine too if I was still married. I’ve been divorced for almost 2 years now. I didn’t have a lot of feelings this morning other than relief and pride about where I am in my life now. I still struggle with the “D” word. But everyday it gets easier. I’ve come along way.. and so have you. So proud of you and your amazingly positive attitude!
My favorite quote today “Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different.”

Reply

It has been a while since I have commented on one of your posts, but after reading this one I am overcome with emotion and need to break my silence. My husband of over 6 years recently left me out of the sky blue for no exact reason, and I have been living in a fog ever since. I can’t believe this is happening to me–I never saw it coming. One day we were planning our vacation (that we were suppose to be leaving for THIS WEEKEND), and 24 hours later he told me he wants a divorce. I am so hurt, confused, upset, angry, etc. and feel like I will never be “normal” again. I have been reading your blog for a while now and I have always been in awe of your bravery and positive attitude through your divorce, so I just want to say thank you for being so open with your journey. Reading this particular post at this moment in my life gives me hope that someday I will get over this complete betrayal.

Reply

This post just made me smile. You rock.

Reply

So glad. It was my anniversary too, and I spent it wishing I had somewhere or someone to help me get out. I’m so happy you have support.

Reply

I always love your positive outlook and energy!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *