I told you I would give you some details about dating in my Top 10 favorite things about being single post so here ya go…
I started dating in December. Why? Every person and every situation is so different but for me I felt like I should at that time and the people in my life that knew what my situation had been and what I had been through completely supported me in this decision. Some reasons I felt like dating again…
1. It got me out of my basement. Most of my friends are married and they hang out with their spouses at night… I needed to get out and do things because I was going nuts. Brooke was going to bed at 7 every night and I just needed to be out and distracted.
2. It helped me to move on and to realize that there are a lot of really really really amazing people out there.
3. I was in desperate need at that time to just laugh and smile, to build some confidence and to go do new things.
So far, so good. At first it felt really weird (for obvious reasons… um I was with the same person for 6 years and never thought in a million years that I would be dating again) but like I said before, what happened in the past now just feels like it was a bad dream and not even real so dating is just my new normal now.
I had one extremely strange dating experience a few months ago but other than that I have gone on some really fun dates and have gotten to know some really great people. I love the excitement that comes with going out on a date and getting dressed up (and actually washing my hair on a regular basis). I am beyond awkward in big group activities with single people for some reason but when I am on just a normal date I feel like I can be myself. I don’t know why the big group things intimidate me so much but I think I am getting more normal at them… hopefully?! Who knows.
When I first even entertained the idea of dating again I was really worried that people would see me as having a lot of baggage because of what I had been through. A good guy friend of mine wrote this to me and it changed my perspective on my situation:
“Your situation simply provides an opportunity for someone else to have one of their dreams fulfilled… Finding you. That person will embrace your situation with no hesitations.”
That made me feel a lot better.
I have the best set-up by living at home because I am still able to put Brooke to bed at night and then go out on dates because I just give my mom the monitor before I leave. I kind of love it here.
I am happy exactly where I am and that feels really good.
And 5 random things about my Sunday.
1. I picked up this salad on Saturday to eat for lunch on Sunday but I actually ended up eating it for breakfast instead. I couldn’t wait a moment longer to dig in. Nothing like some bleu cheese crumbles first thing in the morning.
2. I teach the 7 year olds at church. I found out today that all it took was one chocolate egg per child to keep them perfectly behaved for an entire one hour class. The things that humans will do for chocolate.
3. My nephew refused to turn around for this picture.
4. I burned my forehead pretty good. Don’t text and curl your hair at the same time. Bad things happen.
5. My sister didn’t have her kiddos for Easter so we celebrated yesterday instead. I made sure to eat the little chocolate eggs of heaven while the baskets were being constructed. PS it is a really good idea to do the baskets the week after Easter because all of the candy was 75% off.
Any funny/cute/whatever you want stories about dating to share? I would LOVE to read them!
People in relationships… how did you guys meet?
Ever burned yourself with a curling iron/straightening iron? (Yes, I am looking for people to help me feel like this is a common occurrence so I don’t think I am the only one).
Rate your weekend on a scale from 1-10!!!
i’m the millionth comment. GOOD FOR YOU!!! GOOD FOR YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER. :)
Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs
So glad to hear that you’re dating again — I know you’ll find someone amazing, who doesn’t look at your past experience as “baggage” :)
Thank you so much for sharing this! If you would ever be willing to share your divorce story please do. I’m in the midst and feel like there is no light at the end of he tunnel :(
There is. It might feel endless but things DO get better.
It will get better. In the middle, it seems like the world is ending and nothing will ever be ok. And then somehow, one day, it just is again. And although it is the hardest thing I have ever endured, it’s worth it in the end if it brings you even one moment of happiness that you wouldn’t have had before.
Thank you ladies! I needed to hear that :) much appreciated!
I agree-please share your divorce story. If any of your readers are going through the same thing you did, and in the same way, they’d be able to ask you more questions on how to get through it. In the mean time, keep being amazing. <3
This is such a great post!! I met my husband in the dorms in college, but we were friends for 2 years before we started dating. The rest is history! Enjoy dating- it seems like you’re having fun, and you totally deserve it!!
FOUR FOR YOU GLEN COCOA, YOU GO GLEN COCOA!!
(basically my way of saying go girl, who cares what others think, way to do what works best for YOU!)
I think it is so awesome you are dating! Your friend gave really good advice, because you are awesome and so is Brooke.
I have assumed what happened in your marriage, I just want to say again, you have handled everything with the utmost dignity.
I love/hate dating. I for SURE never thought I’d be dating at 49 years old! I hate the first date, it’s so awkward. The good thing that comes with your experience is that you are a little more sure about what you want in life and what is important. Brooke reminds you of that every day. She also makes you very very picky about who you may choose for a serious relationship.
And be very picky. I would have never thought I could be fooled so hard with my second marriage.
My weekend was really a 9. I actually didn’t work all weekend and saw most of my kids! WINNING!!
Melissa @ Mel's Miles
Dating sounds like fun!! I’m glad you feel ready to be out there and meeting new people :)
I met my boyfriend through a friend. The three of us ran a race together and I couldn’t stop thinking about him afterwards. It turns out that he hates running, haha!
Just wanted to say I love your blog!
We were a blind date, lol.
I can’t tell you how much I look forward to reading your blog. I have my first marathon this Sunday. I have always wanted to do one but have been afraid. I have always run but I have never raced. I run to just run…it frees me. I still say I’m recently divorced even though it has been March 2013 I found out, and October 2013 that it was final. I didn’t see it coming. We were together for 24 years. This post has affected me. My friends and family have told me I need to start dating…to move on. Again, I’m afraid. But what your friend said to you…I can’t tell you how many times I have read that paragraph today. It has changed my thoughts today. This year is a new beginning for me..not to be afraid. I’m running my first marathon and I’m so nervous and excited. After reading your post today, I am actually considering that maybe, just maybe I will get myself out there as well. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being such an inspiration. You have truely helped me get through these past months.
The Hungry Runner Girl
I just want to give you the biggest hug ever!
I picked up my fiancé at a bar. Best part is, neither of us like going to bars but we both got drug out that one same night. One of the first things I said to him was “I’m sick of guys.” Smooth move Amanda. I guess things happen you least expect it.
Yay! Janae I’m so happy for you. You deserve happiness.
Whoever you end up with is going to be one lucky man! I met my husband when we were both casual teaching at the same school, but we didn’t hook up until we bumped into each other in a pub on New Year’s Eve a year later. Seems SO long ago (because it was!)
I found your website while looking for running tips and although I
Never really followed through with your level of running, I instead fell in love with your writing/blog/life. When you announced you were getting Divorced last year, you literally seemed to be going through the exact same thing as me( minus me having the most adorable daughter in the world) and you made me not feel so alone in the whole divorce thing which I found incredibly isolating and hard. The situation behind the divorce, although you have been the most graceful person about it I have ever seen, seems similar to. So this dating post makes me not feel so bad about moving on either ( I was also with my husband for 6 years) and it all just seems like a bad dream as well. So strange how you can feel like you haved lived two lives. Anyways, I just wanted to say yay for you for I finally got the courage to post something ;)
Tiffany @ The Chi-Athlete
This is going to sound dumb, but I am seriously proud of you. It took me a little while to get into the dating scene after my divorce (and we didn’t have a kiddo together). If anything, it’s a tell that you’re very comfy with your life and you’re ready for a new chapter!
Most of my best stories come from my first date with Harry. We lost the car (whom we named “Paula, the Impala”) in downtown Chicago, she then got towed from his neighborhood, we went ice skating in Millennium Park, ran along the Lakefront Trail, and got dressed up to see “A Christmas Carol” in the theater district downtown. Yeah…it was a week-long first date. Best one of my life!
Harry and I belonged to a Runner’s World forum several years ago. We first met at a group meetup at the 2009 Chicago Marathon. We have run several races in other places since then. When we met up again at the 2012 Chicago Marathon, he took it upon himself to ask me out on a date. <3
8! I would've loved more rest, but none shall be had when the six year-old is visiting!
I’m so happy you are having fun with dating!
As for “baggage”… one of my favorite lyrics from La Vie Boheme from Rent:
“I’ve been trying, I’m not lying
No one’s perfect, I’ve got baggage
Life’s too short, babe time is flying
I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine”
haha I feel like in high school (when I straightened my hair everyday) my friends and I used to always burn our necks accidentally and they would look like hickeys
I met my husband my very first night of orientation at work. In the psych unit. We met in the psych ward but neither of us were patients! He trained me. It’s funny how you meet people sometimes!
summed up– :)
good for you girl! it’s been years since I’ve been on a date…no one asks me out!
Congrats on dating!! Please keep us updated!
I don’t comment much, but I’m glad to hear that you’re dating and that you’re enjoying it. Someone I love just started the divorce process after several years of a really horrible unhappy decision, and I’m looking forward to a day when she finds happiness and love.
Also, my SO got divorced a year ago today. We started dating only a few months later after meeting online, in spite of the fact he wasn’t looking for anything serious. We’re ridiculously happy and just work really well together. We’re moving in together this summer and I couldn’t have imagined that there was a relationship this good.
Thanks for posting this Janae.
I’m 24 and recently separated from my ex . I have two children aged four and one to different fathers.
I’m hard working and intelligent yet somehow found myself in two abusive relationships.
I’ve spent the last month talking myself down and thinking less of myself because of my circumstances. Time to stop undervaluing myself and hopefully one day I’ll meet someone who sees me for me and not just my mistakes.
I wish you all the happiness in the world, thanks for sharing your life with us everyday. Xx