Seat Belt Dance and Zero-Carb Breadtwists.

Please help me.  I need an intervention.  When my friends want to go out to eat and everyone else is being indecisive I step up to the plate and plead for my salad mountain.   I need to branch out, but it is just too hard.  My salad mountain is = to your Whole Foods salad bar deliciousness.

Past salad mountains here, here and here.

*A peak into my weird mind.

Produce Mountain:   Cottage cheese=Glacier.   Goldfish (obviously fish swimming downstream).    Edamame= tree line.   Ham=people skiing.  Grapes=brown bears.  Pretzels=Mean fishermen’s nets that catch the fish.  Cucumbers= the valley where the ham people build there million dollar cabins.

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I really am sorry for showing these to you.  Don’t worry, they are low-carb, 100% whole wheat, low-fat, only 20 calories and filled with 2 cups of spinach…I promise.

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If you were wondering if I caved and washed my hair….the answer is no (obviously).  I think this will be great incentive to go for a swim in the morning because then I am forced to wash it.    I am sorry Paige and Pam for enduring dinner with a grease/gym clothes girl.

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For dessert I wowed Billy with my swedish fish flying and catch routine. If you weren’t impressed by my candy eating skills before, you better be today.   Look at the height on that baby.  Do not ask if I have an atom’s apple.

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There may have also been a spontaneous dance party (I am sitting in the backseat because I was too lazy to clean out all of my gym stuff from the front seat and made Billy sit up front by himself).

This is what I call the seatbelt dance.  Try it, you will win a lot of friends and possibly a hot date.  How do you think I scored Billy?

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Anyone experiencing allergies right now?

-Yes, my eyeballs are so so itchy so I better keep my hands busy by typing more and more and more.

Do you like to dance?

-I have never had any formal training but when a beat comes on you better believe I pull out the sprinkler, the Carlton, the running man, moon-walk and MC Hammer’s best moves.

Do you have a favorite salad bar?  Do you have a Whole Food’s close by?  Trader Joes?  Other specialty grocery store?

-No TJ’s, the closest Whole Food’s is 40 minutes north and I have never tried their salad bar….what am I missing out on?!?!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO TODAY?

-A morning 3 miler….if the legs are feeling good.  Either way I will swim too!

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46 comments

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JANAE!! I have missed you OH SO MUCH!! You have no idea :) You would of laughed because on my honeymoon we decided to get internet for one day to let our families know that we arrived safely (we were out of the country) & I immediately had to use my few minutes of internet time to read your blog!! :) I have no idea how I went without it for 10 days!! ahhhhh! I feel like a part of me is missing!! :)
Missed you so much & I can’t wait to catch up on all of your previous posts!
LOVE YOU!! xoxoox

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and we missed you HOLLY!
:)

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I love to dance…but that doesn’t mean I am good at it, haha.

Whole Foods is definitely my favorite salad bar, it’s a few steps out of my apartment, dangerous!!

Your salad mountain looks delicious and healthy but those breadsticks look AMAZING!

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No Trader Joe’s in Austin. The Whole Foods flagship store is here but I’ve not been in years. I live in the suburbs on the outer edge of town and Whole Foods is inconvenient to get to and $$$. Many years ago when I worked downtown I would sometimes go to Whole Foods with a coworker to grab lunch. The salad bar was good but it was easy to spend way too much on lunch. Mostly I make my own huge salad bowls…so much more cost effective.

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I love your salad mountains! Whenever you show one I craave a big heaping pile of veggies too.

And I am stratching my eyes out as I write this…ugh!

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That salad mountain is delicious and hilarious. What a funny post! I love to dance too, but I think it was my karaoke skills that ultimately got me my boyfriend ;)

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I want those breadsticks!!!!!!

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I am not sure if it is just my computer but your blog is all sorts of confusing looking. Everything is pushing to the left. I think something might be wonkey with the code? But maybe its just my computer. I am using firefox. Just thought I would let you know ;)

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Girl, you crack me up! And manage to keep me motivated at the same time. I’m also recovering from a running injury (ankle) and it is SO frustrating to just nod and smile when people tell me to “just take it easy.” It’s been 4 weeks since I’ve been able to run and I’m going insane!! Glad you’re recovering!

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Is anyone else having the same problem as Sarah?

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Yes, I was with firefox earlier, but it is fixed now!

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I’m looking forward to some pool time today. Also doing a short 3 miler.
I have a Whole Foods about a mile away but I’ve only shopped there once. Too expensive and we have other great options. We are supposed to be getting Trader Joe’s in Texas and I’m excited to see what the big deal is.

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Do I like to dance? Um no. I LOVE to dance. Every DAY!

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I HATE ALLERGIES!! Haha that is what I try to convince myself every time there is bread in front of my face:)

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Oh that food is making me want a salad mountain for breakfast. :) So sad I missed out on that deliciousness last night.

I am having allergies suddenly as well. boo hoo! And of course I LOVE to dance. woo hoo!

Love you beautiful girl! Have a great day.

P.S. You better be coming to Yogurtland on Friday! And maybe your little leggies can run just 1 mile of the marathon with me Saturday? Pretty please.

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I’m looking forward to my mom getting back from her trip!!!!!! :D
I always have huge salads, too! Like my salads could eat the combined salads of the rest of my family! :D
Have fun on your 3 miler!

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HAHA! Why do I laugh hysterically at all of your posts?! I love your salad mountains! It’s a true skill to pile that many veggies on one plate!

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I just started reading your blog – you are hilarious!!

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hahah, I don’t like salads, but your take on them is definitely appetizing.

I WANT those breadsticks!

I always have a dance party in my car (also, love that you make billy be your chauffeur). Mike dances in the car too just to try to make me laugh. It’s hilarious. He’s a much better car dancer than regular dancer.

I’m looking forward another running group tonight! Even if it is in crazy hot temps and humidity.

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omg I love Trader Joe’s. I go there a few times a week, and sometimes on a random night after I watch Wheel of Fortune I walk there just for fun to walk around. (I have never told anyone that). Luckily it is only like 7 blocks away! They just have soooo many good things and good prices! You would love their produce section, and they have the best hummus!

Also, I have a question. I have always wondered how you even eat those salad mountains because it seems like as soon as you stab the fork in the mountain would start cascading down the sides and off the plate!! Does anyone else wonder that!? It would be tricky to eat, I think you need a bigger plate, like a platter!!

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You are hilarious. I love your imaginative salad plate descriptions. Made my morning. :)

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girl this post made my morning…you seriously crack me up! loving the seatbelt dance, i’ll have to try that one. but oh ya, i love dancing anywhere anytime, as well as spontaneously bursting into horrible, off-key song. :)
now, goldfish are a new one as a salad topping but trust me i’ll be on that one STAT. good luck on that 3miler if the legs are feeling it…either way rock that pool! :)

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Oh yea, the best exercise is dancing in the car and playing catch with swedish fish and your mouth!

And those are some mighty big bears! And nets…and ski lodges.. LOLOL

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You crack me up! The mountainn description left me rolling on the floor laughing! Too funny!
I also want to scratch my eyeballs out! Allergies are terrible!
Favorite salad bar is at Cowboy Grub.. Delicious! I wish we had a trader joes! Please come to salt lake!
Oh, and I love car dancing.. I do it daily to get my daughter to laugh!
Love ya!

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“do you wanna kick it in the backseat?”

I get bi-weekly allergy shots, so thankfully, I’m feelin’ fresh. :) get yourself some zyrtec!

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I have a TJ’s close by. Their cranberry Gorgonzola dressing is AMAZING!

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I am in LOVE with Trader Joe’s! Luckily I live in NYC and have a few different Whole Foods and Traders Joe’s to choose from, depending where I am at. You need to check out the Whole Foods salad/prepared foods bar, you’d die.

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This is literally the most hilarious thing I’ve read all day. Where do you come up with these creative ideas??!! I am looking forward to doing a lazy ellitpical workout and watching bad reality television while doing it!

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What are you missing out on at the Whole Foods salad bar?
How bout this. Guesstimate the weight of your optimal salad mountain. Trust me, 1 lb is nothing.
Then multiply that by about $8.99.
My fear of spending $18 on a salad bar has prevented me from trying it. Plus, no one offered to treat me yet.

I do however think you might like nutritional yeast (nooch).

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How does your hair look that good after no washing?!! My blonde locks would highlight oil like no other!

Can we eat SALAD MOUNTAINS together?! I can’t think of a better summertime meal than a heaping trough-o-ensalada!!!

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hahahaha – your salad explanation is amazing. I’m a terrible dancer, but I still love to dance anyway. I take allergy medicine every morning!

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Salad bars are the all time best!! I love when I get to choose how much and what type of food I get to eat. My fav places to go are Whole Foods, Ruby Tuesday, and our local Hy-Vee.

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You are lucky your hair looks that good when you don’t wash it. Mine actually starts to change to a duller color and if I run my hands through it, the groves my fingers make STAY there. Siccck.

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Your hair after how many days of not washing, is like mine after 1 hour…ok and hour and a half. Rock it for as long as you can. My sis-in-law has this spray that you put in for day-old hair (or at least that’s what I’m calling it). Like a leave-in SHAMPOO…problem solved. AND it doesn’t involved getting your hair wet. booyah!

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i always need a salad mountain like that when I go out. Well said!! Except I like to get potato chips instead of goldfish. Now what could the potato chips be. hmmm..

Love the dance.
;)

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You seriously crack. me. up. Come over here and throw sweedish fish into my mouth, K? Thanks. <3 you!

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You are hilarious. And I’m pretty sure Pizza Factory will be getting a visit from me very soon. I’m thinking that would be a good Friday night, pre-race meal!

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hooray for your 3 miler!!! also… little known secret to getting rid of allergies, eating local honey and produce! I swear it works wonders (something about the bees and pollen..?). bummer with the allergies!

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Your salad mountain and description of said salad mountain is absolutely AMAZING. I LOVE IT.

You sat in the back seat!! I love it. Did you pretend that Billy was your personal taxi driver/ chauffeur? I totally would have. :)

Car dances= the best kind.

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The site is funky for me, too. Everything is on the left.

Your hair might look weird in person, but I can’t believe how good your hair looks when you haven’t washed it. My hair makes people want to barf if I don’t wash it for one day. I couldn’t even consider not washing it after running.

Whole Foods has a good salad bar, but it is SOOOO expensive. Not worth it

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One of the reasons I love salads is that you can make a mountain of it, and it’s probably half the calories of what everybody eats!

Our dance moves are about the same. Except I end up doing a lot of awkward moves with me hands. I can’t explain them. Which lesson in driver’s ed is the seat belt dance party?

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Your food is making me more hungry than I already am. There’s a place by my work that sells “everything bagel twists” that look similar to your bread sticks. They are TO DIE FOR! I’m also having trouble with your blog…its looks funny! So guess what?! My hubby and I (in an effort to save a few bucks every month) decided to cancel our gym membership and buy a treadmill. I thought of you right away and was practically drooling over it as we put it together. Something was screwed on upside down so we have to finish it up tonight..I can’t wait to use it! I know you know the feeling!! PS you should come to Philadelphia and do the Rock & Roll Half Marathon with me!!!!

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Oh my……. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Pizza Factory Breadtwists. Not cool!!

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hahaha! I love your salad mountain description :)

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OMG! Seriously, Janae, funniest post EVER! Your salad mountain description was incredible. …and kind of made me want a giant salad…YUMMY!

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