Workout:

50 minute spin class followed by an ABS class.  Holy cow….from my hips to my shoulders I feel like I was run over by a semi and then trampled by a herd of antelope.  I didn’t know it was possible to get so sore from doing a short abs class.  Pretty sure she had us do a 5 minute plank with a weight on our back, the tears were shed in the form of beads of sweat dropping from my forehead onto the mat (I am sorry to whoever uses that mat after me).

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I am a control freak.

Whether it is in the form of controlling my daily schedule to the T, what I eat, what time I go to bed, when and how I exercise, the numbers on my Garmin or treadmill, my classroom, the future, money, relationships…..you name it, I love to have control over knowing EXACTLY what is going to happen and that it is according to my time frame.

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Plot Thickens:  I have no control over my leg right now and it has been DRIVING ME INSANE.  I can’t figure out what my pace will be for Boston, what races I am going to be signing up for this summer, how many miles I run a week (zero right now) and most of all WHEN it is going to stop hurting.

I am doing everything I can do get back out on the road but that is ALL I CAN DO.

This morning as I was driving to school and getting frustrated that my leg wasn’t paying attention to my race schedule or the fact that I have dreamed every night about Boston for the past 6 months and that it should be getting better according to MY TIME, I had an ah-ha moment (any Oprah fans out there?).

There is nothing I can do about it so I just gotta sit back and let the Big Guy upstairs decide what is best for me.  I have no control over this and I need to just learn to be okay with that.

Time to sit back, eat as many swedish fish and skittles as I can and enjoy the ride, people and little things in my life that make me HAPPY.

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There is no use in wasting my time, energy and happiness worrying about something that is COMPLETELY out of my control.

I hope you aren’t too sick of hearing about my lamesauce problem but writing about it helps me to remember the things I am learning and I know A LOT of you have been in my shoes or are dealing with an injury or lack of control somewhere in your life right now.

P.S. My brother that lives in Kentucky called me yesterday with big news.  He said, “Guess what Janae……Boston just came out and announced that they are going to do the marathon again next year, and the year after that and the year after that:)”  It was good to remember that of course I am going to try my hardest and do my best but I have many more Boston’s ahead of me.

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Are you a control freak?  What things do you have to be in control of?

-Yep, but I am learning that I can’t control everything and that is OKAY!!!!  Time to let go:)

Do you like Oprah?

-LOVE her but no tv=no Oprah, when will they put her on Hulu?

Have you ever been to an abs class?  How did you feel after?

-This was my first total abs class and I had to do a serious post today because it hurts to laugh and when I try to be funny I end up laughing as I am writing.

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87 comments

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Your brother sounds awesome. It's excellent advice.

Just be thankful you have the ability to do other physical things, and know that you WILL heal.

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I love your blog. My baby is in the hospital with pneumonia and is sleeping on me after hours of crying and I am doing the silent shaky laugh as I read your blog. I hate being so sore that it hurts to laugh! That was me last week. I sure hope your leg feels better soon BUT I am happy that you are sharing your journey. My girlfriend is not able to run and your blog has been a great blessing for her! So thanks!

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What your brother said is so true! He sounds awesome.

I used to be such a control freak too. But I've gotten significantly better at just letting things go. We cannot control everything.

I'm really glad that you are feeling more at ease! And I sincerely hope that your leg heals up real fast!

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Good job on the self pep talk! You have to recover as best you can… you are so right, the Man upstairs will take care of you so just have Faith in Him and it will all be good!

I am definitely a control freak. Sometimes I try too hard to control things and I need to remind myself to ease up on things from time to time.

I LOVE Oprah. I am very sad that this is the last season. I rarely catch the show but I always enjoy it when I can.

Never been to an abs class. Now that I'm settled into our new place, I plan to try out a spin class, kickboxing, abs and yoga!

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Having kids cured me of any control freakness :) Though there are some who say I am not fully cured :P

I wanted to be on Oprah when my greatness became known to the public. Dang it that she's not going to be doing her show anymore :( Guess I'll have to start my own :D. LOL!

Ab workouts hurt… a lot. Especially if you're like me and almost never do them!

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Hang in there. As your brother said, Boston will be there next year and next year you will be 100x stronger!

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I am a control freak too! And hate when things don't go according to plan so I understand everything you are saying! But you are right, sometimes we just have to sit back and let life run its course.

I have been to an ab class once and loved it :) I would love to do another one when I have more time! I remember when it hurt to turn in my chair -it worked me out good!

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I'm a complete control freak and it annoys even me, besides all the other people in my life! I'm trying to learn, like you, how to just accept things and deal with things when I need to, rather than planning everything out for the future. The best analogy I could think of was a race. The goal in a race or life should never be how fast we get to the finish line, it should be about how well we ran it and how successful we were throughout the race. The finish line doesn't make us who we are, the whole race does. I hope that kind of makes some sense :)

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Can I get an AMEN?!!?!?! I struggle with the whole control thing. Just within the last year or so (since I started going to church) I've realized how naive and conceited it is to think we're in control when CLEARLY we are not. Just look at Japan.

NOT an Oprah fan.

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Janae, I love what your brother said. And honestly, as much as we (Type A people) like to control our lives, sometimes we just have to give up the control and learn to love the moment we are in! I have so much to be thankful for, so I don't want to always feel the need to make everything happen perfectly. Keep up the smiles girl! You are beautiful!

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a 5 minute plank? WHAT? That is craaaaazy. I can only do like a minute, maybe 1:30 max. That sounds killer.

I have never done an abs only class. But I used to do an abs session with my spin teacher after class and it was INTENSE. Why do abs get tired to easily? Wooses.

Sorry to hear your leg is still giving you fits! I gave you a shout out in my post this evening so will that make you feel better! I'll be praying for you friend. And your brother is right, you have many, many Bostons to look forward to in your future.

Hugs hugs hugs,
Dana

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I am SUCH a control freak. Like in a terribly bad obsessive way. I am trying really hard to work on it but it is a very hard habit to break.

I love your brothers advice. He is one smart cookie. Any class I swear kills me. You would think if I can run 50 miles a week I can handle a little abs or pump class. Nope I can't. I suck at choreography and wake up not being able to move everytime I ever attend a class.

Have a great day girl! We need to hit up Seven Peaks and a snow cone as soon as this weather gets better. I have lost control when it comes to snow cone consumption in the Summer. :)

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Awesome abs work-out. I love being that sore!
I haven't watched Oprah in ages!!
I hope your leg gets better soon. I know with your positive attitude and great work ethic that you will do amazing in Boston anyway

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awww, I love that your brother said that! I don't really like or dislike Oprah. I'm a bit of a control freak, but I *try* to be better about it. I do a core class every few weeks and its 30 minutes of PURE torture, but I always feel soo good after! The positive is you are still getting in great workouts, so you are staying strong and your body is going to stronger than ever when you get back to running :)

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hey girl! hang in there! everything will work out you're gonna run at boston and get ure sub 3!!

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Great advice from your bro, though I know it's really hard to swallow. I am like you – total perfectionist and control freak. The only way I can deal with things not going according to plan is because I have backup plans and backups of backup plans! It is hard to let things go when you try so hard.

I don't think I've ever done a really long abs class – only an 8 Minute Abs video or a 10 minute segment tagged onto a regular aerobics class.

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Yes, why isn’t Oprah on Hulu??? We don’t have cable either! I like to control things too.

When I was pregnant, that was big for me, I had to learn to stop worrying about everything because I don’t have any control over it. Thank goodness God knows what he’s doing and has our lives figured out for us!!

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You know I love this post! I think we all have control issues to some extent at different times in our lives, but you said it best that worrying about it gets us nowhere when it's completely out of our control. I think you're doing an amazing job of focusing on other things to keep your fitness in check and that's all you can do right now. I love Oprah. Billy yells in his Oprah voice all the time. And I LOVE what your brother said about Boston. Smart guy! If you ever go visit him in Kentucky, stop in Texas on the way, OK?

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I am a control freak but I agree kids kind of cure you of that just a bit. But then again you need to be on top of their schedules, and homework, and snacks, and rules ;-). I am not an oprah fan. I have been going to abs class for the last 5 years. I even managed a way to do the class with modifications while I was pregnant. It really does get easier after a couple of weeks.

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smart people live in or have lived in kentucky…that is for sure…haha!

I am glad you posted this…I have been struggling with the same things. I feel like the past 3 weeks were the end when really I have been running for less than a year and have many years left…hopefully :)

I have been to one abs class and it was brutal. But the Jackie workout DVD I now own may be even worse. WOW. She is serious.

Hope you have a good week and I hope that we are getting fro-yo on friday :)

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I'm a huge control freak as well, but just like you I am in the process of learning to let go! God will take care of everything and we need to trust in him!

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I am a control freak. I worry about everything sometimes, but it consumes you!! I know it's not good and I'm trying to stop and just worry about the things I can control!! What part of KY does your bro live in? I'm from Lexington! Go Wildcats baby!!

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Your bro is a smart one, as are you!

I don't dislike Oprah, but I don't actively seek her out either.

I am a control freak about a few things, one of them being finances!

As for Abs classes, they all kill me! But in that good way!

have a great week!

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I'm such a control freak!! I am super type-A. I'm dying to have a "future" talk with my boyfriend. We both know where we're headed (marriage) I'd just like to know WHEN but he's looking for a new job so we can't have that talk until he's got a new job. Oh and I'm changing schools next year. It's brand new and apparently we'll be lucky if we get in more than a few days before school starts. I don't know what grade or subject I'll be teaching.

I worry about things I can't control and things I can… I try to just focus on those. I'm so happy with my bf right now and just trying to focus on that instead of where we are going to end up. AHHHH!

Running has helped me a lot in this area. It's a way for me to get all of my anxious energy out and I love it (and I think the people around me do, too!)

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Oh gosh, I am a total control freak!! I've gotten better recently – I let go and let God instead! Your leg will heal and you WILL run Boston!!!!

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I've been a huge control freak most of my life, but my fiance has helped me to be better about it…

I <3 Ops… could watch her all day…

And you've inspired me to take an abs class! :)

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I'm a control freak too!

You WILL rock Boston this year…and you're going to beat that time the year after…and the year after :)

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Great perspective Janae. You are wise beyond your years my friend! How did you get so awesome?! Yes, I love Oprah but don't watch t.v much and especially not during the day so I have not really seen much of Oprah since I was in High school. This injury/leg thing will only make you stronger and more determined. I'm certain. God has big plans for you. Love ya and thinking of you all the time even if I don't comment so much anymore.

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Control freak: GUILTY. can we start a CFA thing? control freak anonymus? I am in.
I mean who likes to admit that out loud? not me!!!

LOVE the Oprah, I have the 20th anniversary DVD box. I tivo her every day. So sad she will be done for good, last show on Bill's bday!

Abs class: yes. this is how I feel after: AOUCH.

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I like your brother :)

I am the same way as you! It's so hard to let go of control, but one day this time will just be a memory and you'll be out there kicking butt and taking names again!

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I'm a definite control freak….trying to work on it!
Hope your leg heals soon and you'll do GREAT in boston! :D

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I'm def guilty of needing to control everything in my life. It's hard not to worry about something so important too! Your brother had the best advice though, sounds like a great guy!
My gosh, I always feel so lame when I laugh and then complain that my abs hurt! I'm glad it's not just me!

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Your brother's so right! I bet it's frustrating for you now, but you will get back to running!
I am a total control freak as well. I like to know what I'm doing today, next month, and next year. I know I shouldn't focus too much on the future because my plans are constantly changing, but it's SO hard not to.
I go to an "abs attack" class every week after my favorite spin class cause my friend teaches it, and I'm always her helper/demonstrator. It's intense though!

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Super control freak here. When I had kids, I thought I could still control everything…that was a huge slap in the face. I've learned to be a little less controlling but it's hard!
Ab classes are hard! Have you ever done the Ab video in the P90X series?? It's hard!!

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As I told you in my email, you are dealing with all of these challenges SO well. Accepting what you can't control is such a difficult but important thing for dealing with setbacks. The bottom line is you are doing the BEST you can, and Boston will be whatever it is for you this year – as your brother put so well, there will be SO many more Boston's in your future, and women marathoners don't peak until later anyway :)

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I am a total control freak – so I get it! I have to have control of every little thing in my life (and in my family's life) but when I loosen my grip and just let things go at their own pace? That's when I actually enjoy it all! :)

Your brother gave some serious words of wisdom right there!

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I love what your brother said. It's true! Take care of your body now and it will be there for you for many years to come :)

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Control freak, that I am. Sometimes I wish I could chill just a little. Everything in my life always seems to be a schedule. Getting my new puppy has totally thrown my schedule off but it has taught me alot about caring for others and putting my needs aside.
Don't stress about what you can do nothing about, just pray…everything happens for a reason :)

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Yes I like Oprah no scrath that LOVE her and with that in mind this, my lovely, is a teachable moment for you!
Just remember that….despite the discomfort, anxiety and frustration you are learning valuable lessns that will last a lifetime and that you will be able to share with your students, friends,family and BLOG readers who need a little help in dialing down the control levels. *ahemlikeme*

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i officially love your brother. seriously. that is the perfect perspective and probably exactly what you need to hear (but probably not what you want to hear right now..).

being and feeling out of control is the scariest thing in the world. but really, control is just another way of saying "i don't need God." and i know that is not who you are or how you live your life. so every once in a while when things happen out of our control, its a good time to remember that being in "total control" is not actually something that is good for us. it makes us feel like we actually can rely on ourselves and robs us of our felt need for a Savior.

i'm praying for you sister. i can't imagine all the emotions that you're experiencing through this rough time. but i know that you are strong and will gain physical, spiritual, and emotional strength from this and every situation that you find yourself in. cause that's who you are and who you were created to be!

hugs!

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I teach abs classes all summer long and you better believe I make them intense! You should come visit VA beach and join me! :)

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I hope your leg feels better! I know it's frustrating to feel like you have no control over your body :( You will still kick ass at Boston!

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I really hope things get better soon! You're awesome and no matter what happens you'll still be awesome :)

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as a runner, I think we all have control issues. I am right there with you. But you know what? How good does it feel to let go and let GOD do his thing. The one thing we can't control is probably the most valuable moments in our lives. Its our time to grow into the person God created us to be. I will never get sick of you talking about this because you genuinly know whats best and as an athlete, thats hard.
I love you friend.

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as a runner, I think we all have control issues. I am right there with you. But you know what? How good does it feel to let go and let GOD do his thing. The one thing we can't control is probably the most valuable moments in our lives. Its our time to grow into the person God created us to be. I will never get sick of you talking about this because you genuinly know whats best and as an athlete, thats hard.
I love you friend.

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Love this! I am such a control freak and sometimes I seriously need to CHILL. Thanks for the reminder. :)

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Don't get down on yourself for being down. Yes things could be worse, but this is your life and you have the right to feel your feelings. As long as you keep in mind how amazing your life really is, that is all that matters.

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I have the same problem… My newest issue/toy is learning that I can spreadsheet time to make sure I have enough time to fit everything possible in. :) Enjoy the forced relaxation!!!

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I am a total control freak!! I wake up in the morning, and before I even have breakfast I ask my mom what is for dinner bc I like to plan ahead!! I also love to know all my splits when I run. I have learned though with injuries that you have to find something that will take your mind off of it. I know this is easier said then done, because lets face it our lives revolve around running or workout out… but I promise it will help!!!! :)

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Hi! I don't think I've commented before (just started reading!), but I gotta say I can commiserate. I'm easy-going when it comes to other people living their lives, but I'm super hard on myself. Must control everything! An injury is a horrible thing to deal with, but it sounds like you are using the bad situation to gain some valuable perspective. Good for you, and feel better!!

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I love ab classes and I really need to take one! There's one at my gym but it's during work hours. Boo.

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Hang in there Janae!! The Big Guy has a plan… It's not easy to do but you are so right…gotta let Him control it. I'm not a huge control freak… I kind of let things just happen. But I do have to remind myself to not dwell on the things I canny change. If I can't change things, I work on changing the way I think about those things. It's amazing how well that works!

I like Oprah but don't watch her much.

I teach spin and used to do a 15 abs workout at the end…and I loved it!!! But I've never taken just an abs class! I need to though!

Where in Kentucky does your bro live?? I live in Kentucky!!

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I love your brother's comment! What great perspective–Your running career is so very young, I'm excited to see where it leads you–to greatness no doubt. And, don't apologize for your posts–you are entertaining regardless if running is the main plot or not! Love ya!

I always, ALWAYS have to remind myself it is not my plan but HIS! :)

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Total control freak here, too :) I like your kick-back attitude – it's so true. It can be SO hard to convince yourself that your situation is out of your hands (for the most part), so kudos to you. Keep taking it easy and rehabbing!

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Have you ever heard of Karen Smyers? Amazing triathlete who dealt with a few trials and tribulations before winning a few championships (Kona included)! I had the chance to listen to her speak yesterday, pretty awesome lady! You should check her out at http://www.karensmyers.com/.

“But I will hope continually and will praise You more and more.”
-Psalm 71:14

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Saw this on Running Through Life's Blog and thought of you. I really like it. It said, "Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride." I know you will! Here's to hoping your recovery continues to go well!

I can be a control freak about a lot of things – I always like to know what will happen. It is very tiresome and worrisome when you feel like you are loosing control. Thank you for your post – I need to remember it is OKAY not to control EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME!

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Please tell me WHY we are bloggy best buds! I am such a control freak I would say it's embarassing but it is totally not. This girl wants what she wants, when she wants it. That is why my garmin is perfect for me, because I can see the numbers the whole time! :)

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Hungry–I love you! I want to spend the day with you. Yes, I too am a control freak and I am struggling BIG TIME with life in general. Very very difficult to raise a family, be a wife-(whats that again), work, etc. etc. I need to pray more. I need to seek him more. HE PROMISED to take care of us. HE PROMISED. I am so sorry about your quad. Be sorry about my hamsx2. I am going to pray hard tonight. I am going to remember that hey, guess what miss priss–you aren't in charge and what a blessing I DONT HAVE to be in charge. Hugs—EC–tore up a salad bar tonight and thought of you—-now though—its tearing me up!

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Sometimes, I ask myself "WHat are we/me so afraid of???" WHy do we need to be in control???. The running quote should change. Pain is weakness and FEAR leaving the body—think about it—physically and emotionally, spiritually.

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Great post – thanks for talking about your injury, because it's encouraging to those of us out there dealing with the same thing. Your comments and words are right on target! I'm definitely a control freak… though hopefully I'll be less of one after this year!

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dont be a worry wart…. no sense in worrying about anything you cant handle! thinking of you best friend! love you hugs from mi!

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Hang in there lady. My Boston experience was quite similiar in 2008, and turned out nothing like I expected. But I showed up on race day and gave it all I could on that day and still enjoyed every minute of my time in Boston.

Your brother is right, but it is difficult to come to terms with the fact that there are other races and opportunities. So keep at it and know that Boston will be amazing for you no matter what.

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Writing is therapeutic and it's good for you and all of us to remember that everyone can get injuries. You are doing everything in your power to recover and your brother is absolutely right. If Boston 2011 isn't your best, 2012 will be amazing. You're doing a great job girl!

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I am such a control freak! But, I love your brothers comment. What a great way to look at it.

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I love the way you view your current leg situation. It is really helping me sort out my doubts with my injury.

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I am a control freak too! It's so frustrating when you do everything right, and then the control is taken away from you. They say "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change how you think about it." It's awesome that you're doing everything you can to keep your cardio and endurance up. Your dedication is so inspiring to me!

I take a 30 minute CORE class on Mondays. It kicks my butt.. Just wait til Wednesday morning when you try to get out of bed and it feels like someone is laying on top of your belly! Gotta love the burn.

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Hi gurrrrrl! I finally updated the blog with my race recap!:)

Ugh, I once took an ab class. Going into it I thought, "hmm, a whole class on abs–will this hurt? No, it's only a 30 minute class instead of an hour, no problem!" Oh my word my abs HURT for the next WEEK. Any time someone made me laugh or I sneezed I seriously almost cried! Man! I loved it though (is it weird that I LOVE being sore?). Unfortunately I am not good at going to classes on a regular basis, so I don't think I ever did that one again and they don't offer it anymore:/.

My favorite Easter candy is the Reese's peanut butter eggs! I don't know why, but the chocolate-to-peanut-butter ratio is just even better in those things than in the original (but I still love those too). I also love the malted Easter eggs! Man, I'm excited for Easter candy now, thanks;)!

It makes me so sad to hear about your stress over your legg–but I can totally relate. I would be feeling the same way. Just know that you are a lucky and amazing girl to even be able to run Boston and take pride in that! And even if the race isn't perfect you will find some more awesome races to run later in the year and totally kick booty in those, too!!

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Holy wow am I a control freak! I have been getting better about it recently, I've been trying to relax more because I think a lot of it stems from ED behavior. You are amazing and beautiful and just let the skittles work there healing power!

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Hi Love! Haven't been able to comment in awhile but now I'm on my Spring Break and back on the computer! yippee!!

I am a control freak!! Oddly enough I am one in the kitchen! I don't want hubby cooking in there and messing things up! I will learn to let him into my space soon enough..hopefully.

I just have to say…from your post yesterday… I am OBSESSED with Chopped! I've been watching the All-stars one…HOLY MOLY! Love!

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I have had the EXACT same leg issue and can relate to being an ultra-control freak about it. It's impossible not to be.

But with a little time and lots of Oreos to aid recovery mine got better. Yours will too. I will wish you a Get Well Soon with the next Oreo I eat. (Don't worry, that won't take long.)

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Am I a control freak? Totally! Mr poor husband… Don't watch Oprah… never home to watch it… Never done an abs class… pretty sure I'd die.

4 mile trail run today, ROCKED me. I can't believe how awesome-ly HARD, FUN, and kind of SCARY it was. :)

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Am I a control freak? Totally! Mr poor husband… Don't watch Oprah… never home to watch it… Never done an abs class… pretty sure I'd die.

4 mile trail run today, ROCKED me. I can't believe how awesome-ly HARD, FUN, and kind of SCARY it was. :)

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I'm praying for you sweetie!! "at God's speed…" :)

I'm a taurus…stubborn, bull-headed. My best qualities my hubby says!! :) He's ALSO a taurus so we decided and made a pact that there can't be two chiefs in our household so I've willingly yielded to an indian but, INSIDE I'm a CHIEF!! Our marriage is better that way!! :) I'm only submissive to my wonderful hubby!

HAVE A GOOD EVENING!! XO :)

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oh girl i am the same way! i am SUCH a control freak and FREAK OUT when things don't go my way! I swear I'm not 5 years old but I just love to plan and know what the next step will be no matter what! xo glad to now i'm not the only one! have a great tuesday!

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I'm the same way girl! I love being in control!

I'm finding it hard at the moment too, as I've just developed shin splints, verging on a stress fracture. It is two weeks before a race I worked SO hard just to get into this race, and it's SO frustrating not being able to run!! Obvs your in the same position, but Boston's much more important!

On Sunday though, I went to church and it really hit me that instead of being frustrated, I should be THANKFUL. Thankful that God has given me legs that can carry me miles, thankful that I have a strong body that can go the distance, thankful for loving and supportive family and friends. I should TRUST in God that whatever He has in mind for me is the right thing.

Sorry for the rant, but I still believe you can and WILL rock Boston. You are AMAZING so stay postive gorgeous friend:)

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I hate so much that you are injured, but these posts are helping me deal with my injury more than I can explain. Thank you!! You make me feel so much better. We'll get through it.

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Control freak? me? Absolutely.

Your brother is spot on. It's easy to overlook the obvious sometimes.

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Your brother is exactly right! Take the time to heal completely – it may be frustrating but it'll be completely worth it in the end!

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I have to control every potion of my life, too. You're not a freak!!

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Wow! I feel like you were totally talking to ME in this post. I am such a control freak too! Everything has to be exactly as planned…other wise it's freak out.
I'm so glad you had your borther talk to you- he totally rocks!! What an awesome comment :) & it's SO true!!

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I do the Ab Ripper from P90X….and it ALMOST make me throw up everytime…its brutal! Good times~!

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Your brother lives in Kentucky? How cool! Me too! Don't sweat the things you have no control over! God will help you through it!

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OH, I think it's perfectly normal to push a rope, even though you know it won't go anywhere. And, you're not alone, I've been there. ::healing vibes::

Hang in there!

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Thank you for this post. I really needed this reminder about letting go of things I cannot control. Love your blog and sending your leg quick healing vibes!

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You have a brilliant brother. Listen to him. I understand your pain, as I am also a control freak and it is really, really hard to let it go and accept that it is in G-d's hand.

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Oh I am a TOTAL control freak!! I know how hard it is when things are completely out of your control!

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I am the same way! I always want to have a PLAN! You know those people who are "easy going" and like to just "go with the flow"?? Not me!! It's HARD to go with it when things don't go according to plan! And complain as much as you want. I would be totally frustrated if I were in your shoes.

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