A slice of humble pie and how the heck do you deal with stress?

What a beautiful picture!

I inherited the worry gene from my Mom too. When I met my husband who has been through SO MUCH in his life (including almost losing his son at age 5) he told me that “95% of the things we worry about never happen.” That helped a lot! I also like to turn on mindless tv before bed to help me decompress and shut down. TV Land is good for that :-)

LOVE that quote on your computer screen. Getting that on mine in 3…2…1….

I find when I take time for myself in the early morning (typically before my husband even wakes up), brew coffee, and open my Bible… my day goes TONS better than when I sleep in and skip all that. I think there’s something about it still being dark out and I’ve got this personal time all to myself…I freaking love it :)

I do run with water/gatorade, but in races I stick with the aide stations.

ps Way to GO on your 3 miles! Don’t be hard on yourself— you’re slowly coming back from being extremely sick. From 3 Miles to Sub 3—- you’re welcome on your future blog post title ;)

I worry a lot too. I just focus my energy on things I can control. I try to distract my thoughts by reading, watching TV or focusing on positive things like my many blessings great or small and constantly remind myself that things could be worse. It takes a lot of practice to retrain the brain!! Keep on keepin’ on. :)

Mantras!! Specifically ones that help me be present. That way my mind isn’t regretting the past, or worrying about the future, but completely engaged in the present. I forget everything and concentrate on breathing and saying the mantra. Combining Buddhist relaxation and mantras fro mm books by Norman Vincent Peale (The power of positive thinking, and You can if you think you can) realllly helped me with this.

Oh. And reading your blog. No joke. When my boyfriend broke up with me when I thought he was supposed to propose I started your blog from the beginning and would just read entries and entries when I felt bad. So you must have the solution in you too :)

I have read that our body does not know the difference of good stress (excercise/running) or emotional stress…it is just stress. I too have had a very stressful couple years with divorce emotionally and have done ALOT of running to relieve. My body gave out few months back…stress fracture hip and also like you issues with stomach and intestines. Still fighting my way back with running and trying to figure out other issues. I truly feel for you. It is a struggle…but we women runners are the strongest. We will push through and be ok. I’m trying to read more to deal with stress….stories take you away from self for awhile. Hang in there!!!

Yoga definitely helps me de-stress. You don’t have to go to a class…you can practice at home. Give it a try!

I have struggled with stress and IBS for as long as I can remember (since I was a kid actually… before IBS was called IBS… and I’ve always been a worry wart!) When I am struggling to turn my brain off and begin stressing about things, my childhood therapist (gave myself ulcers so I had to go to determine stressors) told me to imagine the most beautiful, peaceful place I had ever been to. She then told me to think about every single detail of that place… the colors, the sounds, the smells… every last thing. I’ve been doing it for years and the more vibrant I can make the image in my head, the easier it is for me to fall asleep. Given where you live, beautiful places aren’t hard to come by so maybe it would be worth a shot??

My last run was awful… my legs felt like bricks! Hopefully today’s will be better!

Turning off your brain at night is SO hard! I always tell myself that there is nothing I can do about “x situation” (fill in the blank) at 2am so I just need to chill and wait until morning ;) But yes, running and yoga and designating time to do things that relax me (reading, walking, etc.) definitely help as well.

I am very prone to anxiety and can’t fall asleep without unisom. I am 40 now and apparently it’s a “thing” with women as we get older to have trouble getting to sleep, per my GYN and regular doctors, who are both ok with me takings unisom at night. My brain will not slow down/shut off by itself. And yes I’m a big runner and eat super healthy, but I also have a stressful full time job and three kids, etc so my mind is always racing.

As for your health issues, I hope you are seeing the right doctors. It sounds serious and I hope you are able to get to the right doctors and take care of it.

As for blankies, my youngest child is 6 and shas slept with one and only one blankie every night for years and years now. Blankie is a member of our family and we never leave home without it!

Since I haven’t been able to run I’ve really had to look for other ways to de-stress after a bad day. So far, I’m coming up pretty empty. Time with friends certainly helps. I’ve also turned to retail therapy ;) I know this seems counter intuitive, but I try to stay busy/keep my mind occupied so I don’t have time to worry about the small stuff. Let us know if you figure out a new way to cope with stress, I could definitely use some tips!

Hi Janane-

My yoga practice is very stress releasing to me. The studio is known for being more traditional than others and I would really recommend that you look into a studio near you that has an emphasis on Bhakti yoga or kundalini yoga with a good teacher. Don’t give up until you find one that has a good Dharma talk at the beginning of class. At my studio they talk for a long time in the beginning about what yoga is and how we can give up our stress. My mantra these days is “give it up, give it all away” to remind myself to let go of expectations.
That and seeing movies by myself has been fun :)

I have the same problem at night. I’ve found that watching youtube video playlists helps get me to sleep…there are a few people in particular who just have soothing voices and music in their videos that put me right to sleep. It always works!

That pic of Brooke is absolutely gorgeous! Can’t wait to see more!

I am the world’s worst at shutting my brain off before going to bed at night. It’s something I’m scared that I’ll never master. I posted today about how I get anxiety on the weekends wanting every little thing to be perfect before a race or a long run, but running is supposed to make me less stressed!

But you are so right on giving it to God and going to bed. I’m sure we are so frustrating to Him when He tells us He’s got it and we continue to hold on.

I had a steady state run yesterday 15 min @ 8:00 pace. 15 min @ 7:00, and 15 @ 8:00. I love those during the week!

So I have two different suggestions and they are not only things I do myself when I struggle to quiet my mind or am stressed but I also recommend to my clients- first, guided relaxation. YouTube has some great ones ands they really help to quiet your mind and relax your body. Second- adult coloring! It sounds a little silly but they make some really great adult coloring books/pages and its a great way to quiet your mind and focus on the coloring (and at the end you have a beautiful picture!). I also do a lot of praying which helps so much!

Thinking of you, its hard but you’re right, we have the opportunity to grow so much from struggle.

I’m not sure about de-stressing in general (other than running and reading) but when my brain is worried or won’t shut off at night, I talk to God until I fall asleep mid-sentence. Not a traditional prayer on my knees (although that helps beforehand) because I need to be in bed with covers and such to sleep, but a respectful, semi-formal chat to lay out worries, concerns for loved ones, things I’m struggling with, lots of thanks, a few requests for strength/tenacity/decision help, all intermixed with requests for peace and sleep. It almost always works. I promise He’s happy to hear from you and it okay with the doze-off at the end.

I am so glad you got to run again! Even though it felt not-so-great I am not convinced it has to do with your fitness level but probably more nutrients you are missing, so it will probably be way easier to build back than you think. You got this!

If I can’t shut off my brain at night I have to write down whatever it is I’m thinking about, and if I can make some sort of list or plan that’s even better. But most of the time, just writing it out and letting it take up space on the page instead of in my brain allows me to sleep through the night. Or a free itunes sleep meditation of some kind with ridiculous and cheesy sounds of a babbling brook, they work more than I care to admit.

I already commented but I thought of something else…try listening to the Happiness podcast. I love it!

I haven’t been running at all the last two weeks as my right leg has decided to HAVE ALL THE INJURIES! I know I need to get into PT to have some Graston done to break up some scar tissue on my thigh, and I have on-going patellar and new big toe tendon (can’t tell on my own if it’s a PF flare up or something new) pain.

But either way, I always run with water–it was a big unlock for me. It made me less stressed about where the next water fountain or aid station was, and it allows me to sip on water vs. taking in a bunch. I have a much less sloshier stomach as a result. I carry a small 10oz handheld bottle and now when I run without it I feel like something is missing. During long races, I ask the aid station to top the bottle off straight from the jug.

I hear ya on the shutting the brain off. I’m not plugging these games specifically, but playing Candy Crush-style games allows my brain to chill out for awhile. I also enjoy reading and taking walks in my neighborhood.

Brooke is beautiful!
I have 2 beautiful girls (2 and 6) and before I go to bed every night I go into their rooms and pray for them individually and then say another prayer for my husband and somehow it just shuts my mind off and I feel so peaceful and ready to sleep. It has actually become one of my favorite parts of the day!
I carry a water bottle and I hate it but there aren’t any water fountains where I run and it’s still hot in Texas!
Both my girls sleep with lovies that have had since they were tiny. My 6 year old sleeps with a pink bunny she named Bunny and my 2 year old sleeps with a wooly mammoth stuffed animal she named Walter :)
I had an awesome 8 mile run on Saturday and a short and sweet 2 miler last night. I’m looking forward to my 10 mile run this weekend!

Oh goodness – I am awful at shutting off my mind. And I also inherited the anxiety-at-night from my mother. My sister is the same way! My mother bought me a plaque to put by my bed – similar to your quote. It says “Give your troubles to God. He will be up all night anyway.” :)
I TRY to think of that and “let my mind go blank” as my Dad suggests (who else besides men can do that?? :) ) Ah well. Knitting helps me and so does taking some really deep breaths. The breath thing sounds too simple to work but it DOES help.
Knowing others struggle with this helps – so thanks for bringing it up! Maybe we can all think of each other and take our own advice and all sleep peacefully. Here’s hoping! :)

While going through my divorce, I started practicing yoga pretty seriously. I would practice 5-7x/week and it did wonders for my mental health. I’m naturally on the anxious side and worry constantly- yoga taught me how to compartmentalize my worry and be able to move past it. I used to spend days and nights just constantly thinking about things and yoga changed that. I learned how to handle stress and to love myself so much more.
I have to also admit that the 20s were the hardest years of my life. I felt like when I turned 30, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I finally was able to realize that not everyone (ha, no one really!) has it all together and I needed to cut myself a break!!!
All in all, don’t be so hard on yourself! I’ve been reading your blog for years and it seems like you might hold yourself to standards that are almost impossible. You’re great!! Just take a few steps back to get a better view ?.

Funny I just wrote a post today about stress, HA, estrogen and how exercise can contribute to your body’s stress. Our bodies interpret exercise as stress the same it does any other stress in our lives. Sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

My oldest daughter (who is now 19) has a pink blanket she’s had since coming home from the hospital. She still slept with it every night (under her pillow) up to a few years ago. She still has it (although it’s pretty tattered by now) but she doesn’t sleep with it anymore, it’s just in her room somewhere.

My last run was a race where I got injured so I don’t like to think about it too much (still on the sidelines over 2 months later). ?

Try the Stop, Breathe, and Think app! I never understood meditation and thought it was kind of bogus and weird, BUT this (free) app makes it really easy to do and has a lovely little thing where it walks you through a meditation as short as 5 minutes or long as 30 min. I tried doing it before sleep and it really helped calm me down. Give it a try! :)

I shut off stress with reality tv! I read in bed before I sleep so that I get lost in my book.

I can be pretty moody while run, so carrying water can sometimes really bother me. So, I rely on my boyfriend who carries water and water fountains.

My last run was this at 5 a.m. this morning. I ran 10 miles and two of the miles were down the street where our city has the Fall Festival, which was approximately 100 food booths.

Headspace! It’s an app on your phone. I love it. I used to think meditation was so crazy and only something hippies did. But it’s so good to just have those few minutes of breathing and focusing on nothing but quiet. Try it!

I’ve learned that stress to the body is more than the traditional view of stress (hello your mom being sick! etc) but also exercise stress (marathon training!). You were doing a LOT and I sure hope your body recovers soon. I’m in the process of de-stressing myself! What has helped me a ton, is getting better sleep. The way I was able to do that is to change my bedtime routine. I do a short yoga session (just use free videos on my ipad!), turn off electronics a half hour before bed (this is soooo tough), and read (for me it’s the bible, but as long as it’s a “real” book and not off your ipad it helps) right before I go to bed. It’s difficult, but made a HUGE difference in my sleeping and overall how I feel.
Good luck!!!

I can’t remember where I heard it first but this quote: “If there is something you can do about it, do it. If there is nothing you can do about it, stop worrying over it.”

Yoga.

Maybe a journal would help. Write down the top 3 things that are stressing you out and then write down 5 things you are grateful for.

My siblings and I have all inherited our Dad’s nighttime anxiety – we call it “the curse.” I really find yoga helps, and for me, I find it helps to go to a class where the teacher provides corrections and guidance and I can really let my mind go blank and my body take over (it’s a little like those perfect runs when you don’t even notice the effort until you’re done). I’m definitely going to check out some of the meditation apps people have mentioned.

I know it’s best to get to the root of the stress, but sometimes you just plain need sleep. Melatonin can help you fall asleep (pills, or you can drink a glass of tart cherry juice). Valerian root helps calm you down and stay asleep (pills or tea) and Natural Calm magnesium (a powder you mix with water) helps you calm down as well.

Yoga can help de-stress when you aren’t able to run. Even just doing some poses at home before bed. Unplugging from the computer, TV, phone, etc. before bed; reading an actual book – also good ways to help unwind at the end of the day and get a good night’s sleep. Sleep is SO important for overall health and definitely recovery!

I am a sports dietitian and I am sometimes thankful I didn’t start running until later in life when I knew the importance of nutrition and hydration for performance. It pains me to see/hear athletes say they are running long distance with no fuel or hydration. BAD IDEA! I always carry water for any distance > 3 miles and FUEL for any distance > 60 minutes.

Keep on keeping on lady. I LOVE your blog! :)

ACT therapy and look up Mindful Meditation on iTunes U –I like to do them lying down where I can really focus on every part of my body. Meditation can be weird at first, but it’s really helped me through some tough times.

My therapist once told me to “write it down” whenever I’m having lots of feelings/”thinking too much” and it honestly helps to put pen to paper because I feel like “I’ve said my piece”. Even if I don’t come to a resolutions (that’s not really the point of why I write), it’s better for me to feel like I got my thoughts/feelings out of my body. I usually sleep better at night after I do that.

It’s always interested to go back and read some stuff from a few months ago to remember how I felt and what changed or how I’ve grown.

Good luck!

Add me to the sleepless train….I barely managed 5 hours last night because I was stressing about…wait for it…a bad haircut I got. I’m also (permanently?) injured so running hasn’t been there for me and it has been a huge struggle. Stress is awful.

I see a counselor and one thing he told me that has been helpful is to address the root of the stress. For me that usually means I am feeling trapped in some way–whether it is time constraints, responsibilities, location or whatever–once I address the trapped feeling i can see places within the situation that I have freedom. That usually helps me. Also relaxation and breathing exercise are helpful when I actually buckle down and do them…I used to do yoga before bed (stupid injury)and that was also awesome! That said–I still am so stressed right now (chronic injuries suck) and not handling it particularly well.

One other thing that is amazing is taking my dog for walks or to the park. He is always sooo happy to get out and be with me that it instantly calms me and takes me out of my head and into the moment. So I say….get a dog ;) Brooke would be so happy!! :) (jk–dogs can also add a lot of stress, especially at first–but then they give back so much love, loyalty, and happiness that it is absolutely worth it–when the time of life is right!)

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing so much stress in life right now. I think it’s so healthy that you’re looking for new ways to manage it and I really hope you (and I) find things that work. Living like that is miserable and it’s really hard to express without feeling like a whiner or wuss (which isn’t true!!). And don’t worry about running–it’s all there still :) it’ll come back to the surface fast when your body is strong enough! I’ve taken months off and been back at it at the same old paces within weeks! Your body/mind will remember.

I haven’t been able to run for over two months now. I stopped running when I was 35 weeks pregnant and now that I am 5 weeks postpartum, I am just waiting to get the OK from my doctor at my 6-week follow-up. It has been a very humbling experience because running has always been my go-to stress reliever and “me-time.” I feel like by the time I start running again, I will be starting from scratch – relearning everything. I totally understand how 3 miles can feel like a marathon! Haha.

In place of running, I was able to shut my brain off and distress by keeping busy around the house, working on fun projects that I always put off, and taking daily walks around the neighborhood. I actually had to get used to walking because it felt SO SLOW at first. Walking has been my saving grace for the past two months. It gets me outside and fills that “need.”

Here are a couple techniques I teach my clients (that I use myself so I know they work!) One is STOP and the other is handing it off, throwing it away.
STOP: Imagine a stop sign.
S= Stop what you’re doing, worrying, stressing etc
P= Pause, take a deep breath or two
O= Observe. What’s really going on here? Is this worry, stress, etc helping me?
P= Proceed. Move on.

The other technique is to write down what’s worrying you. Then literally give that away. Throw it away. Put it in the offering plate. Mail it to God. Burn it. You can repeat it as much as needed but it’s also important to tell yourself. “I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I gave that away.”

I run with water unless it’s a really short run, then I just drink when I get home or back to the car.

My 9 year old daughter still has and loves the stuffed dog my husband bought her the same day we bought “What to expect when you’re expecting”.

On the topic of not washing your hair — what dry shampoo do you use?? You would never know! Your hair always looks amazing!

Hi! I am a yoga instructor (and runner) so am always looking for ways to help myself and my students relax. Some of my favorites:
1) 1:2 Breath: While lying in bed (or during meditation) count the length of your inhales (maybe to the # 3, 4, or 5) and make your exhale equal the length of that inhale. After few rounds of this, have the length or your exhale be one number greater than your inhale. Doing this helps to completely release any of that unwanted negativity and heat.
2) I AM Mantra: While lying in bed (or during meditation), repeat the word “I” to yourself as you inhale, and “AM” as you exhale. I AM. No need to fill in the blank (I am mother, runner, daughter, blogger), just BE. I AM. Connect with the woman you were before you became any of those things. This is surprisingly very calming and grounding and almost always helps me fall asleep.
Good luck! xoxo.

I’m sure the family photos are amazing with you, Brooke, and that scenery!

Meditation = best way to destress. It’s not immediate, and it’s tedious at first. But it pays off, I swear! If you set aside 5 min/day to meditate, you’ll notice the benefits pretty quickly. Once it becomes a regular practice, you’ll find yourself handling stress better without even having to try. It’s changed my life for sure!

My 1 year old daughter just started to become obsessed with her Hunny Bunny (I named him, haha). But he lives in the crib because mama doesn’t want to wash him every other day!

If you’re anything like me, then you probably stress the most about things that you have the least amount of control over. Once I acknowledge that I have zero control over the situation and there is absolutely no use in stressing about, I just let it go and focus on what I can control.

I don’t have any magic formula for how to go about just letting it go, but sometimes simply realizing that I have zero control over the situation is enough to force me to let it go.

Oh and distractions (exercise/running, time with friends, reading, watching a movie, massages, pedicures…whatever works for you!) work wonders too :)

Adult coloring books are all the rage! I’ve been dying to get my hands on one to see if they are the stress-relievers that everyone says they are! Maybe it’s worth a shot… it’s a lot cheaper than therapy :)

My mom (aka the wisest woman on the planet) realized a couple of years ago that the biggest time worry would creep in was when she was trying to fall asleep. She uses two strategies to combat it:
1) She started a fear journal where she writes the specific fear down to give it to God. Once it’s written on that journal, it’s no longer hers to worry about. (It’s actually been really great to look back and see how those fears have been resolved!)
2) She realized that unless she filled her mind with something else, her brain naturally wanted to return to the worry. So if she finds herself awake and worrying when she should have been sleeping, she puts her headphones on and listens to her favorite Bible teachings to fill her mind with truth instead of anxiety.

Hope you find something that works for you!

I am seriously struggling with the stress thing lately, too…I also recently wrote a blog post about this! I think running a business and/or blog can be very stressful and is probably a big contributor. I’m still trying to find ways to deal with it, but meditation and yoga help…you just have to seriously commit to doing them every day or almost every day. I like Monica’s suggestion above about keeping a “fear journal” – writing definitely helps me control things, too.

I rarely run with water – only when it’s super hot out – but need to make it a habit on the longer runs!

Yes, stress definitely affects your health. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1990. She was cancer free for 4 years until my brother passed away in 1994. The next checkup her cancer was back. I’ve read a lot about cancer and believe the stress of his illness/passing contributed to its re-occurrence.

So, how to shut the brain off? That’s a tough one, but prayer definitely helps (like the quote above.) My doctor told me to be sure to have more than running to destress. I play the piano and sitting down and playing soft music really helps.

To destress (other than run) I like to take an hour (or two) and watch my favorite show. This down time allows me to just take my mind off things for a bit. Walks in the sunshine are also great, and allow my to prioritize my schedule which manages my stress levels.

For longer runs 7+ I like to carry at least one bottle on my hydration belt. On shorter runs I’ll grab some water before I go out, and just hydrate post-run. I typically avoid gatorade on runs shorter than an hour as well.

I dunno if you have heard of Drip Drop? It’s like pedialyte for adults, and has worked great for me during hot summer training when dehydration sets in.

Anyways, I’m sure you will find your rhythm again soon :)

Oh my gosh YES to the whole stress thing. Interesting story…one of my dogs is very sensitive to my emotions and a couple weeks ago she started having severe gastrointestinal issues and sudden agreession (she is normally super sweet) and the vets had no answers for me until they asked me how my stress levels were…and of course they were off the charts at the moment and i didnt even realize it. I love my dog/running partner and I couldn’t believe my stress could be so harmful for her. As soon as I started dealing with it appropriately her symptoms went away almost immediately. I deal with stress by taking walks with no distractions (no phone, music, and try to go somewhere with few people/cars) and let my mind just go blank and wander and ponder rather than analyzing everything in detail. I also love listening to conference talks and practice focusing on the deeper messages rather than letting my mind go to stressful things/people. Also debriefing is great and you can do it by yourself in a journal or with other people. Basically 1) describe the experience with no emotions. Just strict description 2) what your reactions were to the experience (this is where the emotions come in) and 3) what you learned about yourself from the reactions. It pulls you out of the emotional part of the stress a little bit and doesn’t require you to solve any questions but can give you a lot of insight into what is going on. Sorry that was long but I love your blog and hope to see you better soon :)

Nighttime anxiety is so tough. I used to add onto my stress by stressing myself out that it was past my bedtime and I wasn’t anywhere near close to falling asleep, but now when that happens I accept the fact that I am not getting to bed at my usual grandma bedtime, and to do something else. Usually when stress keeps me up at night I will read a good chick lit book or write out (or type out on the iPhone notes feature) what is bothering me. Either one usually works for me. I also pray. Sometimes, when things feel like they are getting to be too much I take a personal day or take a weekend and just chill on the couch.
I had a decent run this morning, but still getting back into the swing of things due to some annoying lower back issues.

I renember a study, I read somwhere that there are some Mindfulness techniques, which are being used to treat burnout patients. I think it was called MBSR Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

Before I scrolled down & saw your “Give it to God” quote, that was going to be my suggestion. Sometimes it’s hard to let go, but generally having a strong faith helps ease the worry. That being said, my other #1 stress reliever is definitely exercise of any kind (even better if you can do it outdoors). Don’t forget yoga!!! And reading before bed helps me to relax & get sleepy. Oh, & I’m sure you’ve already figured this one out, but spending time w/ your daughter (until she becomes a teenager, that is!). ;) When she was little, I’d come home from a stressful day at work & before I knew it, work was long forgotten.