It’s just going to be a hard week but that’s okay.

I totally understand why missing Brooke on her birthday would be tough. On the bright side she gets to have two birthdays (twice as much fun!) with everyone that loves and cares about her. Journaling has been great for me, I hope you get as much out of it as I do.

Thinking of you as you transition in to a new normal.
God Bless!

Reading your blog has given me such inspiration as I have been following it for about a year now. Last week my 5.5 yr relationship ended with my fiancé, and I am completely broken. Seeing how you have been able to bounce back in a year gives me hope because right now I feel like that is an eternity away. Thank you for giving me a much needed distraction every day. I love how much you love your precious daughter!

I can’t even imagine having to say goodbye to my kids like that. :( Kids are so strong and resilient. She’ll be so excited to celebrate with you when she gets back!

That must be so hard I am so sorry….but maybe just look at it this way, Brooke gets 2 birthdays! Just changing her birthday to when she is with you is a great idea! It doesn’t make it all better…but it helps and it just means you are doing the very best that you can with the life you have. Brooke will love you dearly for all that you have done to make the best of this situation for her! Just do what you can and trust God for the rest. Hugs :)

That must be so hard for you. But I love your plan of celebrating on Monday instead. Even though its not the actual day it can still be just as amazing. I hope that it gets easier for you although I’m sure it will always be difficult.

:( I’m so sorry you can’t be there with your little girl on her first birthday. I can’t even imagine what you’ll be feeling. I hope that you can keep yourself busy, spend time with your family, and that you have a heckuva birthday celebration on Monday. :) Hugs!

I hope you do something wonderful and awesome just for YOU this week!

I love how you allow yourself to process and feel the emotions. I feel that is the only healthy way to deal with things. And I’m sure over time that Brooke going to her dad’s house will get better :)

so tough. wishing you lots of good miles this weekend and a very happy birthday celebration on monday!

I’m hurting for you- this is hard. If you feel up to it you could celebrate yourself on Friday because it’s the day you worked so hard to bring her into the world and you became a mama. Don’t know if that will help but I recommend a treat for yourself regardless! Sending hugs.

Brooke is such a gorgeous child and the relationship you have with your daughter is so beautiful! Im so sorry you won’t get to be with her on her 2nd birthday! I think your handling everything like a trooper! Love that she made you hold her foot, so cute the little things they want :) Adorable!

That stinks, for you. But for Brooke, she doesn’t know the difference, she has 2 birthdays, and they are both special. You have such a big heart, keeping you in my prayers…

I’m sorry to hear that she’ll be away for her bday. As usual, your way of handling the situation is the coolest. You are so strong. Monday will be here before you know it. Happy bday Brooke!

That stinks. :-( If it makes you feel better, remember lots of people don’t actually celebrate their kids birthdays ON the actual birthday – especially if the b-day is on a weekday you don’t celebrate until the party on the weekend.. Also, Brooke will get two birthdays so I imagine she will be one happy little lady.

I used to comment like once a year, but all your posts these days just seem to resonate so much with me so I guess I’m becoming one of those girls that always comments :) all I can say is yup. I’m a couple months behind you in the separation process, and my little girl is almost a year older than Brooke. Every holiday, every significant occasion, someone is always going to be sad and upset. I just hate that it’s you this year on Brooke’s birthday (this is also not my year to get my little lovey on her bday). I just tell myself that it’s an arbitrary date and she won’t know that you’re not celebrating on the exactly correct day. Also, I think a birthday is simply about letting someone know that you’re glad they were born and that they’re in your life, and I also think you do a spectacular job of that every single day with your Brooke. Anyway, thinking of you. This week. Hang in there

It is said again and again on here, but you handle(d) your divorce and moving on with such grace and, as my dad would say, such a good head on your shoulders. You show such maturity (for someone who thinks Gummy Bears constitutes a suitable breakfast…). ;)
That being said, I’m heartbroken that you have to spend Brooke’s birthday away from her. You have a wonderful attitude about it, though, and the celebration when she gets back will make it all that much sweeter. Stay positive, it is what makes you shine.

Brooke is lucky to have you, Janae. I’m so sorry you won’t get to be with your girl on her special day. I would struggle with that too. When I’ve been upset about not being with my family on holidays, my husband reminds me that it’s not the day on the calendar that matters. What matters is that you celebrate together. Brooke doesn’t know that you won’t be with her on her birthday and I imagine you’ll make next Monday absolutely amazing for her. Big hugs mama, you’re doing a great job with her, keep it up <3

I love love love that quote!! It’s hard when things stray from how you planned but it’s the aftermath and what we do in the moment of change, how we handle ourselves etc., that speaks to who we really are. You are so strong and such a good role model! I definitely do the same thing where I keep myself so busy I don’t have time to feel my feelings and then all of the sudden they just explode out of you and it’s not fair to yourself! I’m definitely going to work on this too, allowing myself to feel even when I’m scared to. Keep your head high, you’re so strong!

I’m so sorry you won’t get to be with Brooke on her birthday, but remember – it’s just a day. Celebrate HER when she gets back and how special she is, because she’s special every single day! And remember, whenever you’re angry or upset or sad – talk to God. Tell him your pain, and pray. It always makes me feel better to get it off my chest

I’m glad you’re taking time to process things. You are exactly right when saying that running around and keeping yourself “busy” only works short term. Acknowledge the pain and work through it, not around it. It gets better from here.

Sweet Janae!

I truly understand where you are coming from. As a “fellow divorce'”, I also would be lost on those weekends and special occassions when my son was with his father. I wanted to tell you that it does get eaiser! Well, there are times when it creeps back up…I cannot lie. In fact, my son who is now 25 years old was included in a picture on facebook just yesterday with his Dad’s family at the dinner table. I have to admit that it took me right back to the days when he was 4yrs old leaving me for the weekend. My son lives 1.5 hours away in the same city as his dad and he doesn’t have a car (he’s my “free spirit”) so I rarely get to see him. Seeing that picture remined me that he will always be my little boy and will always have my heart. I too am glad that he does have a relationship with his Dad. I guess I say all of this simply to let you know that you are not alone. The times that my son was away, I was able to re-discover who I was, what I liked to do, whether or not I wanted to sulk all weekend until his return…these weekends became “mine”. I hope you can find comfort in what I have shared. I will be praying for you. Thank you for being you!!

Huge hugs girl. You are so strong!

Writing and crying are so cathartic. You are a wonderful mom and a beautiful person. Brooke is so very lucky! Thank you for sharing your thoughts x

Oh hun :( I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you, but just remember one of the mantras you tell yourself to get through a tough run — you can do hard things :)

My littles are obsessed with Daniel Tiger too! They keep asking me how much longer until the 18th (the day Daniel Tiger becomes a big brother). What is it with that show and its hold on kids? Not that I’m complaining, it’s a cute show, much better than some of the weirdo kid shows out there.

And now you have me craving breadsticks. :) Good luck this week!

This makes me sad, as the one who worked so hard to deliver that sweet girl into this world I feel like YOU should be the one to always have her on the day of her birth!! She’ll be back before you know it, keep your chin up. You are a wonderful mom.

So sorry, that would be SO hard for me too! I’m sure her birthday party when she gets back will be even that much more special and amazing though!

Janae, the reason why I love reading your blog is because you are so strong and honest with your readers. You’ve shown lots of class during your divorce and Brooke is extremely lucky to have you as her mommy!

This is so sad to read, but it will get easier in time. I’m only 17 so obviously have not been divorced but my parents are. My dad never gets to see me on my birthdays and I usually always spend Christmas with my dad, so my mum never sees me on Christmas. It’s always a tough situation but you do what you have to do. I’ve began to realise that I can’t make everyone happy at every holiday and that I don’t have any other choice than to move on. My mum and I celebrate our own Christmas a week before the actual one. It’s not the date that is important, it’s spending it with loved ones. Brooke will probably be over the moon that she has two special days! Stay strong :)

Life really is the biggest journey ever. We never know the curve balls coming our way. But we certainly try to make the best of it. You are a true example of this. Brooke is so special and you are so lucky to spend each moment you can with her. Life is fleeting. You are an outstanding mom:)

Here’s to falling into, or continued perfection of the “while Brooke is gone” routine.

When my sister and I can not be with each other on our birthdays we still have dessert in spirit. She went out for mint chocolate chip ice cream for me this year. I do not know if you are on or off of sweets by B’s b-day, but maybe a way to give a shout out to the little lady.

Too many women in the world get bitter and angry and demolish the relationship with their kids and the fathers. I can only imagine how hard it must be but so proud of your for honoring that relationship. So very important. No matter what happened she will always look at him the way you look at your Daddy. And I love that you get that. Hugs to you on Friday girl ; )

Good luck this week, I hope it flies by for you! I can’t imagine not being with my baby boy on his birthday. I’m sure it will get easier soon :)

Stay strong, Mama. You are so amazing with little Brooke – and she knows it. You’re always doing what’s right for her, first and foremost. Easier said than done sometimes.

This may be too personal to ask you – but do you ever think, in the future, you may be able to celebrate Brooke’s birthday together with Brooke’s dad? That way she can see both her parents on her birthday – even if her parents are not together?

I’m glad you said it because I was going to say it, too – it’s helpful to be busy when you’re sad to keep your mind focused on something else, but it’s also vital that you let yourself really feel your emotions, too <3

My parents split when I was about Brooke’s age. I loved having double celebrations of stuff like my birthday and Christmas most years. I grew to consider it one of the “perks” of being a child of divorce. I’m really glad you are facilitating Brooke’s relationship with her dad. My mom did that for me, though she was devastated and only 22 when he left. It helped so much. I got to witness, first-hand, the damage that occurs when one parent tries to destroy the other’s relationship with the children. My husband’s ex-wife continues to try to undermine and control still…and it’s been 19 years since their divorce was finalized. Stay strong, girl! You’re doing the right thing :)

I hope Brooke has two wonderful birthday celebrations. The most important thing is the she will feel the birthday love twice… once on her birthday, and once with you on Monday! Hang in there, Mom. You’re incredibly strong!

I am so sorry, seriously can only imagine what you’re feeling right now. Big giant hugs for you!

Sorry, spelled your name right and wrong in that comment! Haha….silly iPad! Yes, I am blaming the iPad.

You are so brave for opening yourself up so much to all of us.

My heart breaks for you… But not for Brooke, because she will be fine. She has two patents who love her, and respect each others role as parents. All Brooke will ever know is love. It is for YOU that my heart breaks. I just can’t imagine the pain of not spending every moment with her that you would like. Just imagining what you are feeling gives me a knot in my stomach. It’s so good of you to both keep yourself distracted and allow yourself to process all the mix of emotions you will go through.

We’ve all said it, and it’s so true… You are an amazing and inspiring person. Hopefully you have good runs, and good visits with friends until Brooke is back home. Hang in there!!

I think this might be my first comment, who knows, but I had to say: Janae, you are so wonderful. I’m so sad for you, as we all are, that Brooke will be away on Friday but I’ll be thinking of you and hoping Monday comes quickly so you can have the big celebration!! I don’t have any kids myself, but I am heading for a divorce right now and reading your posts has helped me stay sane and they have proven to be a great reminder and example of TRULY taking the high road. I really admire your optimism and your TACT. And that quote you posted… whoa!! Truer words have never been spoken! Hang in there this week, lady, we are all sending good vibes your way. <3

Good thing is she is so young to even know you see her on a different date. Good thing is when she’s older to know you can Skype each other and she will be thrilled for more than one party!

Look at it this way: now we she comes back you can have sweets and treats with her! (and you won’t be breaking your sugar-free streak!)

Geez, Brooke has always been SO cute. I just want to snuggle her!

Sending prayers & love your way. LOTS of prayers & love.

I can’t even imagine how difficult this will be for you. But pray for strength and take good care of yourself.

You are one of the strongest and positive people that I know. I have always admired your beautiful smile and huge heart. Bless your sweet heart for your amazing attitude and use of the atonement. Your example shines through for all of us to learn from but, especially for your sweet Brooke. Love you and I’d give you a huge hug if I got to see your cute face. If you need some treats, I’d be happy to bring you some. Love you too the moon and back cute girl.

You can get through this. We are all sending you love–don’t forget the blog-world is here for you. Write-it-out.. even if you need to do it in a journal instead of on the digital page.

Also.. this might seem stupid, but I live in an apartment alone and cannot have a dog (due to teaching long hours, I am sure you recall those days!).. therefore, I have a beautiful magenta Beta fish. Betas are male… and usually $4… so I call him my man, and I remind myself (and men that upset me) that a new man is always $4 away! I would definitely encourage you to consider getting a Beta to keep you company while Brooke is away. I know it isn’t an even replacement because nothing can replace Brooke, but studies have shown that watching fish swim for even a few minutes can reduce one’s level of stress. Not to mention, I just think he’s adorable and he responds when I talk to him or give his bowl a hug.

Get yourself a $4 man.

I’m so sorry that you won’t be with your baby girl on her birthday. Makes me sad for you and her.

Saying goodbye is hard although it’s gotten easier since it’s about once a week for me and never lasting more than a night or two. Most days I miss him instantly though. So far I haven’t missed any big events. I’m lucky I have a good relationship with his dad and we live about 10 minutes away so it’s ok for us to celebrate his birthday together.

Sending you strength with Brooke is away.