You know it is a good morning when you wake up at 10, make breakfast, eat it in bed (without spilling one time…that is a first), watch Scrubs, fall asleep again but call it a nap so that you don’t feel so lazy that you ‘woke up’ at noon.
Yogurt, apples, banana and a pb spoon to enjoy a little pb with each bite.
I am well rested and ready to attack this week.
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Just like anyone coming off of an injury I am experiencing mixed feelings to the extreme.
As I am typing this, I am scared to death to run tomorrow. I have run three times this past week with NO pain but I cannot shake the feeling of freaking out that I could re-injure myself? What if the doctor was wrong and I am not supposed to be running on these femurs of mine again?
What if the rest of my body isn’t ready to run again and I injure something else?
Those first few steps of my runs this last week were seriously the scariest thing that I have done in a while………scared to death if those legs get hurt again. Call me dramatic but fractured femurs are going to freak me out for a while.
On the other hand, after doing one mile I feel invincible. I feel that runner’s high and want to keep going on and on forever and start signing up for races this month (don’t worry I won’t, I have lost all of my credit cards so I would have to go through Billy to sign up and I run with my sister and she nearly tackles me off of the treadmill if I go .01 longer than the doc told me to run).
I remember why I love it so much and can’t wait for the one mile of walking to be over so that I can run one more mile.
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I don’t really know the point of this post but I just wanted to get it out there and if any of you that have been through an injury and comeback could chime in and let me know what you did to get over the fear of getting hurt again?!?!
Do you ever eat bfast in bed? What was your Sunday morning bfast?
What is something that you are having mixed feelings about?
52 comments
betsy
Janae, you are tough, you can do it. You have been SO good about taking care of your legs. I hope you are running in no time with no pain and enjoying your runs again.
I made your tabouli the other day. I LOVE it!! Seriously, it makes a ton but it is so good…and good for you. Thanks for sharing the recipe. Yummm
Sarah S
I’ll admit I’m still terrified of getting reinjured. Every twinge in my tush or knee makes me go flying for an ice pack for the rest of the day. Honestly, though, sometimes I think I’m noticing stuff that isn’t really there because I’m so nervous.
I have mixed feeling about learning to ride a bike. I feel stupid that I don’t know how, but I’m absolutely terrified of falling and hurting myself. Someday I’ll get up the courage, right?
Emma (Sweet Tooth Runner)
I’m scared too! Technically, I’m allowed to run for the first time tomorrow, but I know I shouldn’t, because today was the first shin-pain-free day I’ve had since I can remember, so I’ve decided to rest it more to let it fully recover. I am so scared about getting hurt again when I start running though!!
Breakfast in bed= no, because I am the messiest eater EVER and just get food EVERYWHERE. I don’t appreciate finding oatmeal on my pillow the next night! :P
Mollyberries
I had to take an entire year off of running due to a wicked IT Band injury, it was holy depressing, and insanely scary to resume running. I followed my PT and Doc’s orders, and did the walk/run routine until I was able to run continuously with no walk breaks. My cross-training prowess kept me in great shape, and I managed to only get faster as the year wore on. After coming back from that injury, I have been able to majorly PR in everything from the 5K to the marathon. It can be totally scary, but just keep eating healthy foods, and doing your PT exercises, and take it slow and before you know it you will be back to your old self! :)
Liv @ The Salty n' Sweet
You are your best doctor! You know your body better than anyone, and I think you’d be the only one to know if you’re pushing your body beyond its limits.
I definitely was worried that I was running too soon after I twisted my ankle a couple months back, but each time I tried running, I wouldn’t feel any pain afterwards, so I knew that I was doing ok.
But don’t tell yourself that you’re ok if you’re still feeling pain!!
I actually freak out over breakfast in bed because I hate getting crumbs or anything dirty on there. I refuse to allow people to go on my bed when they aren’t clean or haven’t showered… OCD, I know…
Kim K.
Oh my word YES!!! I have fears about re-injuring my back all of the time! I’ve had two herniated discs – one right after the other that took me out of normal life in general for about 3 years. Now that I am running, the slightest old familiar “twinge” makes me sooo nervous. should I stop? should I push throught, etc etc etc! ARGGGH!!!
Kelsey
I don’t like eating in bed because then there’s crumbs and then when I go to bed at night I can feel the crumbs! I am too messy.
Just take it easy and you’ll do great!
Lauren
YES! I am having mixed feelings about this half marathon on saturday! I am not sure if I am ready and I just hope I don’t psych myself out!
Amanda@RunningOnCoffee
Nice new blog!
I had coffee in bed one morning this year when my school had a snow day. Today’s breakfast was an everything wheat bagel with cream cheese at a dragon boat race I participated in with coworkers!
'Dee
Although I’ve never endured actual stress fractures, I think I know (at least a little) what you are feeling. Three weeks away from my first half-marathon, my left hip, IT band, and pretty much anything from the left glute down to the knee was VERY tender, very tight, and clearly aggravated. There was no way I was not running thath race, though. So I perservered — stretched, iced, and downed Aleve like they weren’t making any more.
Ten miles into the half, that leg totally locked up. I was able to shake it off and gut it out, but for WEEKS afterwards, that leg was toast. When I did start doing more than just slow jogs, I realized I was scared witless. Scared I’d done some real damage and that with every run I was about to do more.
Thank goodness for my friend, the physical therapist. I also saw my doctor, but it was the PT who was my best help. I had done a number on my soft tissues and now my body was seriously over-compensating. With her help, I eased back into things and **knock wood** have been able to keep the leg (relatively) happy since then.
So, nowhere near the severity that you have dealt with, but I think I get it — there is a secret part of all of us running geeks who desperately DON’T want someome to utter the words, “Maybe you shouldn’t be a runner …”
But you my dear are clearly tough, you’ve diligently followed your doc’s orders, and you have a bright and beautiful running future in front of you! Just take it easy, build up slow, and eventually that voice that is scared is going to decide that it’s fruitless and will just STFU.
:-)
Chelsea @ Go Chelsea Go!
I’m feeling like that too about my running lately! I feel like I am super aware of every little twinge and weird feeling. Hopefully you’ll get back into the groove of things here in a week or two.
Pam
I think that is totally normal. When I was coming back from IT band syndrome a couple of years ago, I was so paranoid and hyper-aware of every feeling in my leg. I remember thinking on every run, “that’s not pain, is it??????” even when it wasn’t (I don’t know if that makes any sense).
Just trust your doctor and your body. You’ll be ok :)
Annette@EnjoyYourHealthyLife
I love Sunday b-fasts too….We ate french toast with homemade syrup. YUMM.
You can beat this, those femurs don’t know who they’re messing with ;)
Julia
ahhhhhh!!! this is the story of my life and it is so tough/frustrating to deal with. I agree with most of the other comments. I am just hyper-aware of everything now to the point where I do not know if it is real pain or not and if it is “pain” is it soreness? Serious? Not serious? Normal? Not normal? I just overthink everything….so it is definitely driving me crazy. I am hoping that I can make it through the marathon and then give my body the break it deserves and then hopefully come back stress-free and relaxed after a few weeks. EEEK. I don’t know. Basically I could just totally relate to this post and I cannot WAIT for this feeling to go away! Okay…I know this was not helpful in how to get rid of the feeling…I am just grateful to be able to relate to someone so thanks for posting this :)
Holly @ Pink Runner
I had one of those mornings today! I was planning on running and the weather would have been perfect, but I just didn’t feel like it and walked and did yoga instead! Don’t worry too much about hurting yourself, you should just come up with a easy plan to get you back into it that is safe and you will actually follow! :)
Cory
Last year I royally screwed up my knee and honestly wondered if I’d have to give up running. After time off and building up very slowly I got back to normal and was able to do 5 marathons for the year. I really think you’ll come back stronger and faster than before the whole mess started. I’m sure of it.
emma
Granola today..and yeah I ate it in bed, watched “Gossip Girl” and then slept a bit more! Twinsies!
Nicole Wagner
Yes, yes, and YES! I do:(
XLMIC
I am sooooo glad you are starting to run again :) It is very challenging to get through that fear of re-injury. Absolutely. It might help to reflect back to all you have learned about yourself and what “bad” pain feels like as a way of guiding you. I am super paranoid about re-injury. I am still not running pain-free hardly ever. But I can tell now what is tightness and what is feeling like a trip down the road to disaster. You are going to be great, Janae! Every day… better and better :)
Shelly
my stress fracture was last fall and I’m still scared. I guess I always will be?
every little twinge or feeling I’m aware of scares me! I do try to cross train more(yoga) than I was doing in the past. I also take more calcium and vitamin d. Good luck in your comeback!
Forward Foot Strides
I worry often about undoing my current recovery progress on my ankle!
Not just when running either, I went over on it once RIGHT after a physiotherapy appointment walking on cobble stone sidewalks, and another time hiking.
As for running I follow the plan my physiotherapist set out for me so I don’t worry too much when I’m running, unless I hit some uneven ground, but the rest of the time is when I seem to run into problems!
Elle
I cannot offer any advice about your running situation, sorry.
Breakfast in bed? Yes, often.
Today I made ‘Frenched’ Strawberry and Cream Cheese Sandwiches for breakfast… check up my recipe blog wecanbegintofeed.blogspot.com for the pics and the post today.
Holly (indecisive athlete)
I know exactly what you mean ever since I’ve been aloud to start running again I’ve been so scared that my achilles is going to flair back up bad. I actually just started getting some shin splints from upped millage a freaked out and called the doctor… haha
You will do great coming back and it sounds like you def know how to keep your self healthy this time :)
Melissa
I totally am not over my injury, mentally that is. I am so afraid to push myself and get to be a stronger, faster runner in fear that I will tweak my knee or whatever. As luck would have it, and to make me even more fearful, I am now battling a foot injury from overuse. ay ay ay. Wish these injuries would go away!!!! Good luck!!!!!
Shutupandrun
Well, you know my story. I don’t know if I let on how terrified I was all the time. Terrified of re-injury. Terrified of never running pain free again. It goes with the territory and is normal. The only thing that has stopped my from being so afraid is that 1) I no longer have pain and 2) I have scaled way back on mileage and speed. I never do back to back days. The real test will be in August when I decide if I want to marathon train again for a Nov marathon. If I do that, I know the only way I will not be terrified is if I work with a professional (ie coach) who knows my history and will watch me every step of the way. It is so scary, but you are being careful and smart. Don’t let your brain get the best of you. Tell it to back down and shut up. If you are following doctor’s orders and letting pain be your guide you will be fine. This I know!
lindsay
Do you have a new site? very cool! gosh I’ve been gone for 3 days and loook what happends. haha.
Running injuries are have mental. And so is healing. One day at a time, right? Stay positive like you always are and keep smiling. You are so aware of your body, just keep listening my dear friend. You got this!
Darnesha
That saves me. Thanks for being so senbilse!
Hannah @ Running In Freedom
You are inspiring even coming off an injury! When I started running again I felt discouraged that I could only run so many miles when I knew I could do better before. I’m still in the low miles and seeing your love for running reminds me how much I love it, even if it is shorter distances. Keep it up! :D
Sarah
I know how you feel lady! It is scary. Injuries can be so traumatizing. When I threw out my back last summer and could not even walk I was wondering if that was it. That I would be finished for good. Then I slowly started to heal and a couple months later I sneezed but I was turning around as I did it and I felt a TWINGE in my back! It suddenly began to hurt and it was hard to stand straight all day. I began to panic thinking it was all going to come crumbling back. It was really hard to over come but I had faith and determination that I was going to heal and learn how to be stronger.
I found workouts that strengthen my weak spots and learned to really enjoy my rest days and watch for warning signs. And when I say enjoyed rest days I actually truly love getting the chance to relax all day and do nothing. I realized that no, I wont gain weight or get fat from one day of rest. And now I take them in with a smile!
No worries, just take it day at a time. You will get back out there in no time, just listen to your body. It will let you know what it can handle. Cuz you gotts to start gettin ready for NYC right? Woohoo! I will be running that one too :)
Julia
Just remember that you have learned to trust your body more, listen to it, and know you have alot of good people ( family and professionals) that you can turn to if you are in doubt. You are going to have some aches and pains as you start building back your strength for running so embrace that, take your time and when in doubt rest. I am in awe of our body’s ability to heal itself if we let it, and really what is 1-2 days of swimming in the big picture. Dont lose track of all the things you realized when you were not running, they are still there for you!
Bethany
I have had mixed feelings about running this week too. I haven’t been “feelin” it lately, and it seems like it’s a chore to run daily. I don’t want to feel like this, I used to LOVE running. I’m hoping this is a phase and the love comes back. I thought about it and am already motivated to run tomorrow, but I just hate this uncertainty….did you ever get like that? Or were you always IN LOVE with it?
Erica
The fear is probably slightly there because there is a little self doubt in there saying “how did I not know/stop last time?” Forgive yourself for last time, trust in your growth as an individual, and listen to your body. Plus there is no rule in starting at your own pace to regain that trust in yourself.
Haven’t done breakfast in bed forever……maybe next week when I start summer vacation.
Rachelle
Love you Janae! I could not pull up your blog last night and thought I was going to have to go into the er to get an IV full of sugar pumped into my body. I am so relieved it is working today! :)
I definitely think coming back from an injury is incredibly confusing. But if anyone can do it it is you. You are going to comeback stronger, faster, and smarter than ever and I am going to be your number 1 fan.
Erin @ Until You Tri
Ugh, I totally feel you on this!! I am in the beginning stages of recovering from an injury (foot sprain, which sounds WAY more lame than your hardcore femur fractures…but the doc still said it could take up to THREE MONTHS to heal…SO frustrating!). But even though I’m a long way from being able to run again, I still dread it because I am so scared it will hurt and I will be back to square 1. I almost feel like there is no way I will ever be able to run at a fast speed again or on the treadmill again (which was what I was doing before the sprain, so in my head treadmill now equals bad:(). It’s so frustrating! I know we will get over it slowly as we do get back into our normal routines. Just gotta take it one day (step/mile/etc) at a time!!
Jenny
I’m coming back from an injury too so I know how you feel.
You’re doing it the right way. You’re being cautious and are taking things slowly. That’s the way to do it, girl! We must remind ourselves to have patience now. It’s hard, but it’s how to keep from getting re-injured.
We don’t eat breakfast in bed because we both make a mess. :D
This morning we made homemade biscuits from my husband’s grandma’s recipe. xo
Tara Marie
I totally understand!! I am coming off a knee injury and have recently started walking and going to yoga classes (for the first time in my life). I am always scared of my knee going again. I wake up in a panic if I feel knee pain at all and than immediately try to convince myself I am permanently broken and will never be able to do anything ever again. But I keep waking up, stretching and foam rolling, working on the strength training and keeping it one day at a time. I am much more quick to stop anything and ice it and rest it than I ever was before though. I think that is a good thing though.
Jerilee E.
I am pretty new to running, so I don’t have any advice about coming back from an injury (I’m sure I will someday!). It seems like you are doing exactly what you should and following doctor’s orders!
I am having mixed feelings about my 2nd marathon in 3 weeks (Utah Valley Marathon) coming up on Saturday! I know I can do it- but it doesn’t stop me from feeling a tad nauseous about the whole thing!
I need advice on where to go for dinner there in Provo the evening before the race!
Dorry
It’s totally normal to be fearful of another injury, or re-injury, but I know you’ll listen to your body and stop if there’s any pain or a problem! You’ve come so far, sweet Janae. I had a delicious bowl of oatmeal after yoga this morning. Hit the spot!
Karla
While my injuries were nothing like broken femurs(!) I do know that I took my time getting back into the swing of things, but more importantly… I took care of myself after. I was NEVER a stretcher/foam roller but now I do both religiously. So far, so good! Take it easy pretty lady!
Lindie
Janae you are a rock star girl. I think coming back to anything from a serious injury is a scary thing! For me, my big injury was a torn ACL, coming back to soccer. It was a long recovery with months of rehabilitation, but I came back stronger than I was before. I think the key is just taking it slow and steady, and listening to your body is so important. Our bodies may feel wonderful and we might feel like we could do more, but taking it slow and steady is what takes the fear away and eases our bodies back into the old routine! I don’t know if that makes sense, but that was my experience! You are amazing girl, and are doing such an incredible job! Keep it up!
Breakfast in bed… My husband did that a few times for my when I was preggers, and it was wonderful!
Our Sunday morning breakfast consisted of German Pancakes topped with Powdered Sugar, Strawberries and Bananas with some Greek Yogurt on the side! So yummy! I love Sunday Morning Breakfasts!
Cait's a Runnerchick
we ALL have those mixed feelings and doubts you’re talking! you wrote it perfectly, but it’s a matter of recognizing those ‘fears’ and hyperawareness of your femurs and being smart in going forward. of course you’ll be more aware of them anytime you feel the slightest niggle from those legs, and running is ALWAYS a matter of distinguishing which pains are ‘normal’ or warrant a little backing off and then which ones are signs that something is wrong. that in itself is a tall order and so that’s great you have a full TEAM of people helping take care of you: billy, your sis, and your doc! and i’d like to throw in all us bloggy peeps too! :)
so be smart and listen to your body, don’t do too much too soon, but also be brave and be confident that you ARE getting better and will get back to the training/racing that you want. you won’t have be scared of your femurs forever, but that will take time…but you’re doing all things right! :) happy healing girl!!
Babs
Breakfast in bed is wonderful **hint, hint Hubby** Sunday brekky was toast and the last bit of strawberry jam (by last I mean a quarter of the container, I like my jam with a bit of toast . . . hehe).
This morning I inhaled a solid green smoothie with fresh spinach from the family farm . . . it was intense, but oddly delicious.
Trisha
This is such a great post because I think most runners have these intimidating feelings at least once in their running career.
I had to stop running for 2 years due to a sfx in my pelvis. When I started back, I was SO scared & had all the same questions you wrote in your post.
I had to keep telling myself that I was so much stronger and wiser this time around and I wouldn’t let that happen again. The key was listening to my body, giving it rest when needed (it’s a whole lot easier to take a rest week than to end up having to take 2 years off!), and properly conditioning through weights and cross training.
You can do it Janae…slow & steady, listen to your body…you’ve got this girl!
kelly
I am the same way! I’m just coming back from a pelvis stress fracture and I have lost so much sleep over how any kind of ‘weird’ feeling is DEFINITELY a re-fracture. I’ve called my doctor twice and even made him x-ray me again to make sure it was okay. Crazy? Yes. I think it’s hard not to be though. I was out for 12 weeks and I don’t want to ever, ever do that again. I just try to remember that twinges and soreness are normal but pain is not a good sign!
Missy
TYVM you’ve sovled all my problems
Nora
what you are feeling is totally normal.. I know this because I’ve suffered 5 stress fractures! :) Just take it easy.. listen to that leg.
elizabeth
I must confess I have been lurking for ages and never commented. But today, I decided to speak up :) I am going back to my doctor today after being diagnosed and “booted” for 7 weeks with a calcaneal stress fracture. i am terrified as well! I know that I love running more than anything but it is soooo scary to think that is caused my bone to break so suddenly! But, I think we both know taking tons of time and doing the granny slow run shuffle will pay off and we will be strong athletes in a few months! xoxo
Danielle
I totally can relate – after each of my ACL recoveries – I was scared to death to re-injure them, I even wore a sleeve brace for “comfort” for an entire year afterwards – but once I got back out there sprinting around the field hockey field, and I made it through 1…2…3… games “un-hurt” I started to feel more comfortable out there on my knees and the field hockey high came back full speed…it is totally normal, just give it some time and they will be bionic again :)
Emma
I remember after I was overcoming an injury I felt the same way about running. I was so afraid of getting hurt again. But I think if you take it slow and trust your dr everything will work out fine! :)
Jen
I’ve never gotten over the fear… I have learned to live with it, although I do feel that I don’t push myself as hard as I possibly could due to that fear. We’re all works in progress, right?!
Anna
I am coming back from a broken femur as well! (due to running) I’ve learned it’s ok to go slow. speed will come later! You have to re-teach your body to run. I take out my head phones and listen to my breathing and steps. It’s good to make sure your legs are hitting the pavement with an equal amount of force. Even if I’m not in pain, I freak myself out and overcompensate!
Kim Kardashian Bikini Gallery
Well, I don’t know if that’s going to work for me, but definitely worked for you! :) Excellent post!